Kisses to Remember

by Christine DePetrillo

  “Give it a few years, Kam,” Holden said around a laugh. “You’ll get there.”

  Kam pretended to fly off in the direction of the Bronco, and Johanna took Holden’s hand. They walked in silence for a few moments before Johanna stopped and turned toward Holden.

  “Did Dr. Sakala say anything helpful?” she asked.

  “Only that I should count my blessings that you’ve taken me in.” He twirled the end of her hair around his finger.

  “I’ve got a couple blessings to count too.” She looked at him for a second longer before unlocking the Bronco.

  He climbed in the passenger side as Kam hopped in behind him. Everything felt so right, so perfect. Yes, he wanted to get back to that garage vision, wanted to hear what Vaughn was going to say, but the doctor had made a good point. How could he wish for more when the people sitting in that beat up truck with him were more than most people had?

  And why did he have the feeling that whatever Vaughn was going to say was something he didn’t want to hear?

  ****

  Johanna fussed with her hair in the bathroom mirror. After returning from the hospital, she’d agreed to the boys’ requests that she stay away from the kitchen, dining, and living room areas. She’d worked a little in her office, showered, and now had on a black tank dress that cut to a V at her breasts. A bit of makeup graced her face and a necklace with a silver heart on the end Kam had given her one Christmas was around her neck. She hoped she had the right look going for whatever Kam, Holden, and apparently even Ted were scheming to do tonight.

  She’d beaten herself up mentally about cutting into the vision Holden had at the hospital, but he’d looked pale and hazy. Her first thought had been that Dr. Sakala had delivered some horrifying news. She should have known he was remembering something by the faraway expression on his face.

  She inspected herself in the mirror again and said to Miles sitting by her feet, “I’ll make it up to him later tonight.” She adjusted her breasts in the dress to make more of her cleavage show. “Hope you can handle Fancy Johanna, Holden Lancaster.”

  After smearing on more lipstick, she snuck into her bedroom with Miles scratching along behind her. She peered at the alarm clock by her bed. 6:58 p.m. Two minutes until Holden said she was allowed to make her appearance in the kitchen. Fifty-seven seconds to think about how wonderful it was to have Holden around. Forty-nine seconds to wonder if she’d gone overboard with the lavender body spray. Thirty-eight seconds to think about how happy Kam was about spending time with Holden. Thirty-two seconds to be impressed by the progress of Ted’s cabin. Twenty-six seconds to worry about Alex getting beat up in prison. Twenty-one seconds to consider putting on shoes, then deciding against it. Fourteen seconds to open her bedroom door a crack and inhale the garlic-scented air coming from the forbidden rooms. Nine seconds to brush dog hair off her dress, six seconds to give herself one more look in the bathroom mirror, three seconds to edge down the hallway and…

  “Johanna,” Holden said, nearly bumping into her. “You’re right on schedule, my lady, and you look…holy shit, you look amazing.” He stared at her for a moment before shaking his head. Ah, the power of the little black dress.

  He bowed before her and held out his elbow. He wore black jeans and a white T-shirt with a black, construction paper bow tie around his neck.

  “Nice outfit on you too.” Johanna hooked her arm through his, and he escorted her into the dining room.

  He adjusted the paper tie. “Thank you. We went top-of-the-line on everything this evening.” His grin sent ripples of arousal through Johanna.

  He pulled out a chair and motioned for her to sit. Miles made a big circle around the table, but scooted into the kitchen when Kam came into the dining room also wearing black pants, a white T-shirt, and a paper bow tie. Johanna laughed and held out her hand to her son.

  “Come over here.” She wiggled her fingers. “You look so handsome.” She raised her gaze to Holden. “Both of you do.”

  Ted came hobbling in on his crutches wearing the same uniform, though his tie was a little crinkled and crooked.

  “Wow,” Johanna said. “Ted too. This is quite an accomplishment.” Ted rarely deviated from his stained, heavy-duty work pants and threadbare T-shirts.

  “It’s for a good cause,” Ted said as he settled in the chair at the head of the table.

  Kam pulled out the closest chair so Ted could elevate his leg. “How’s that feel, Pep?”

  “It feels like a pretty nurse gave me exactly the right pills.” He ruffled Kam’s hair and turned toward Johanna. “I may have convinced said pretty nurse to make a home visit to this invalid tomorrow. That okay?”

  “Yeah,” Johanna said. “If I can take in pilots that fall from the sky, you can certainly have nurses stopping by.”

  “No nurses,” Ted said. “Just one nurse.”

  “A very special nurse,” Kam teased.

  “Quit it, kid. I’ve got pictures of you learning how to use the crapper I can show Crystal, or Catherine, or…what’s her name?”

  “I’m not telling you.” Kam stuck out his tongue at Ted, then looked at Holden. “Can we start now?”

  “Yeah, Holden, can we start now?” Johanna mimicked Kam’s pleading tone and clapped her hands together. “What smells so good?”

  “Me,” all three of the males answered together.

  “You’re all so modest.” Johanna laughed.

  “Kam, come help me.” Holden directed the boy back into the kitchen leaving Johanna and Ted in the dining room.

  “What’s going on here?” Johanna asked.

  “A little appreciation, that’s all.” Ted waved the bottle of wine he’d uncorked and Johanna handed him her glass. As he filled it, he said, “You take care of everybody, Johanna. Tonight is to show you how much we love you.” He tapped his glass to hers and they both took a sip.

  Love. Johanna let this word cycle around her head. She knew Kam loved her. He said it all the time and well, they had ten years together under their collective belts. Ted loved her like a daughter as she loved him like a father. Her own father had died before she’d gotten married and truthfully, she’d never been that close to him. Not as close as she was to Ted.

  But Holden? Does he love me too? Do I love him? She could see how easy it would be to fall completely in love with Holden, but was that wise? She kept telling herself that his past wouldn’t change things, but her more logical side knew that wasn’t necessarily true. He could remember something that would make it impossible for them to be together. That thought made her stomach protest.

  “Hey.” Ted’s voice made her look at him. “Don’t think too hard, sweetheart. Enjoy the night. Holden and Kam worked hard.”

  “Under your expert guidance, no doubt.”

  Ted held out his hands. “Of course.”

  With Miles on his heels, Kam came back into the dining room toting a bowl of salad, Holden right behind him with dressings and a basket of bread. When everyone had a full plate and a chunk of bread, Holden stood at his seat and cleared his throat.

  “This evening is in tribute to the wonderful…”

  “the amazing…” Kam added.

  “the superfantasticspectacular…” Ted chimed in.

  “woof…” Miles inserted.

  “Johanna Ware,” Holden finished. “I know I haven’t been here as long as these other two guys, but you make me feel as if I have.”

  Yeah, definitely easy to fall in love with him.

  He motioned to Kam who reached under the table and presented Johanna with a neatly folded T-shirt. When she shook it out, the words, “World’s Best Everything” graced the front of it.

  “We were going to make you a trophy,” Kam started, “but then no one else will know how awesome you are. This you can wear in public.” His little face beamed at her, and Johanna squeezed him around the waist.

  “Thanks. All of you.” Her throat was tight as she fought not to cry like a blubbering idiot.

  Ho
lden held up his wine glass. Ted held up his, and Kam held up his glass of milk.

  “To Mom!” Kam roared.

  They clinked glasses and dove into a meal Johanna would never forget. Stuffed mushrooms. Eggplant parmigiana with pasta. Fruit plate. Chocolate velvet pie for dessert. Each course brought her new levels of bliss. No one had ever cooked for her like this. Not her mother when she was a child. Not Alex. Not even restaurants she’d gone too, even the fancier ones when on a business meeting.

  And it was more than the food being tasty. The guys had somehow managed to bake their gratitude into every bite.

  “You’re all magnificent,” she announced when only crumbs remained on their dessert plates. She got up and kissed Ted on the cheek and Kam on the forehead. When she got to Holden’s seat, Ted nudged Kam.

  “Come on, kid. Let’s get started on cleaning that kitchen. She ain’t going to think we’re that magnificent if she sees the mess in there.”

  When they were gone, Holden pushed his chair back from the table and patted his lap. Johanna lowered and slid her arms around his shoulders.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  He reached up and kissed her lips. A few slow tastes, but that was enough to get her hungry for more.

  “This was a lovely night, Holden. Lovely.” She cupped his face in her hands and got lost in the blue of his eyes.

  “Was?” He arched an eyebrow. “Who said it was over?”

  ****

  She waited for Holden on the porch bench per his directions while he helped Ted and Kam clean up inside. She’d offered to pitch in, but all three of them vehemently disagreed. Just sitting there, however, was making her twitchy, so she made a game of trying to count the cows in the field. The sun had long since set, but the waxing gibbous moon was bright enough to reflect off the white patches on her Holsteins. Three of them hung out over by the tree line, one more was at the fence closest to her, and the other one she couldn’t quite find. The chickens were quiet in their coop next to the barn, and she knew the ducks would be by the pond between her two fields, the one she could see now and the one where Holden’s plane had crashed. She hadn’t been over to that field since pulling him out of the wreck. Maybe tomorrow she’d take a walk over there to see if the field itself needed attention.

  When the screen door creaked open, she whipped her head toward it, ready to greet Holden.

  “Oh, it’s you, Miles.”

  The dog whined as if he knew he wasn’t whom she’d been expecting.

  “No, no. Come here. I’m always happy to see you, doggie.” She leaned forward and dropped her hand.

  Miles padded over, his nails scratching on the wooden planks of the porch. He pushed a wet nose into her knuckles, then her knee. When he rested his chin on her thigh, she scratched his black ears.

  “What do you think of Holden, boy?” She stared into the dog’s golden eyes. “Animals are good at sensing people, right?”

  The dog had never growled at Holden even when he had first arrived and was a stranger. In fact, she’d caught Miles deliberately seeking Holden out on a few occasions, probably because Holden always gave the dog some attention. Whether it be a petting, a walk, or some play time, Holden never ignored Miles. He didn’t appear to ignore anyone living under her roof.

  “Kitchen is spotless,” Holden announced from the other side of the screen door. He pushed it open and stepped onto the porch. As soon as he approached the bench, Miles’ tail gave a friendly wag and the dog let Holden pet him. That was all the information Johanna needed.

  “Who’s a good boy?” Holden let the dog put his two front paws on his thighs then rubbed the dog’s back until those golden eyes disappeared behind black fur.

  “So you’re not just good at pleasing me?” Johanna slipped in her own pat to Miles, and the dog licked her hand.

  “My skills are many.” Holden shot her that grin again, and she wondered if mopping up melted female was one of those skills. “Shall we move onto the next segment of the evening’s festivities?”

  “Only if that involves our hands all over each other.” Johanna’s fingers traced slow, wavy lines along Holden’s forearm.

  “Funny, that is exactly what I had in mind.” He kissed her, stood, and ushered Miles back into the house. He offered his hand to Johanna. “This way, my lady.”

  He led her down the porch steps and to the barn. She had a moment to think, The barn? Really? But as soon as Holden pulled one of the big red doors open, her jaw dropped.

  Tall, cream-colored pillar candles flickered from all over, casting the barn’s interior in a soft, golden glow. The hay floor had been swept clean in the center and replaced with…

  “My God, are those all rose petals?” She wandered deeper into the barn and picked up one silky purple petal. “Purple roses are my favorite.”

  Leaning against a post, Holden grinned as if he were quite pleased with himself and her reaction. “I know.”

  She let her bare feet enjoy the velvety caress of the rose petals as she walked around a thick, lavender quilt stretched in the center of the flowers. Somehow, he’d manage to get rid of the cow smell in the barn too. Not an easy task. Instead the air smelled like flowers.

  “How did you have time to do all this, plus everything you did in the house for dinner?” She turned to face him.

  He was still casually leaning with his hands in his jeans pockets. He’d removed the paper bow tie and his socks and shoes. The sleeves of his white T-shirt hugged his biceps in a way that made her mad with desire.

  “I’m amazing, I guess.” He pushed off the post and joined her on the rose petals. “And maybe you inspired me.” He tipped her chin up so he could reach her lips. He kissed them slowly until she ached with need and every part of her wanted him.

  Tugging his hand, she led him to the quilt. “I assume this is here for a special purpose.” She lowered to her knees, taking him with her.

  “A very special purpose.” He eased her to her back. His eyes darkened to a midnight blue as he pushed the strap of her dress aside and rubbed a thumb along her shoulder. That simple touch made her insides smolder.

  She hooked a hand on the back of this neck and drew him closer. “I know this night is supposed to be about me and all, but you deserve a little applause as well. You spent all morning building Ted’s cabin, you cooked a phenomenal meal, you cleaned up what I’m sure was a red alert disaster in the kitchen, you did all this,” she waved her hand around indicating the barn, “and you’re about to please me beyond all my wildest dreams.”

  Holden laughed. “Oh, am I?”

  “You are.”

  “Well, I’ve got all night to do so. Ted agreed to keep an eye on Kam for the rest of the evening and into the wee hours of the morning.”

  Johanna shivered at the possibilities all that time held. “Guess we should probably stay out of his way tomorrow when his nurse friend drops by.”

  “Yeah, I was thinking about that.” Holden kissed a line from her chin to where the V of her dress ended. Time for that dress to get lost. “Is there an airport nearby?”

  She closed her eyes as his tongue glided back up her neck and over to her left ear. Had he said airport?

  “I thought maybe a trip to the airport might set something loose up here.” He knocked his knuckles against his forehead. “Being around the planes perhaps. I don’t know.” He shrugged and ran his fingers over the nipple he’d exposed.

  When he touched her, she could forget he was a man who couldn’t remember his past. He was just this remarkable person she’d met. One that knew how to make her feel as if she were the most beautiful woman on the planet. One that treated her son like the great kid that he was. One that came to the rescue during tornadoes. He wasn’t a man with amnesia or a man whose employer said he didn’t work for them. He wasn’t a guy who’d survived a plane crash that had been mysteriously cleaned up.

  He was simply Holden Lancaster, the perfect man.

  Except when she stared back into his
eyes. There she could see the unanswered questions, the frustration. The haziness of his past kept a piece of him away. Away from him. Away from her.

  “I’ll take you to the airport. Actually, Ted has a buddy who still flies small planes like the one you flew. Maybe he can take us up or something.”

  The breath squeezed out of her as Holden hugged her. “Thank you. That would be great.”

  “Hey, like the T-shirt says, World’s Best Everything right here.” She angled a thumb at herself.

  “Well, get ready for the World’s Best Sex right now.” He pretended to bite her neck, and his scruffy chin tickled her skin.

  “I’m ready.” She wrapped her arms around him and didn’t plan on letting go until the next day dawned.

  Chapter Thirteen

  He slid on his helmet and tugged on the safety harness. His gloved hands gripped the steering wheel as he watched for the go signal. When it came, he pressed the accelerator with his foot, and the car rocketed along the track. Sandwiched between two other racecars, Holden applied a little more pressure to the pedal, and soon he had a respectable lead on the others. The path before him was clear, and his car was in top shape, ready to dominate that track all the way to the finish line. An easy win. This car would fetch a high price for sure.

  Vaughn may joke that he was like a mad scientist with these cars, but with so many details involved, one had to be obsessive-compulsive or something might get overlooked. Something important that could mean the difference between a winning car or a losing one. He was determined not to have any losing cars on his resume and so far he didn’t.

  He’d made some good money off his cars. Selling them after he was done playing with them and flying for DE had funded most of the work he’d done on his house. Painting, tiling, wood flooring, plumbing…the list was endless, but his home was his castle. He loved the brickwork he’d done on the outside as well as all the landscaping improvements. The Texas sun could be brutal sometimes, but all his plants had been chosen carefully and thrived in the spots he had planted them.

  “You got a green hand,” Vaughn had said to him once. “Not just a thumb, brother.” Vaughn spent a lot of time cutting Holden up for his racecar obsession, but when it came right down to it, Holden knew Vaughn was impressed. Many times they’d eaten grilled cheeses and banana-nut muffins minus the nuts at The Sweet Hut while Holden had revealed his latest car remodel. Vaughn would bust his balls about color choices, tire size, engine upgrades, but he always came by the garage to give the final product a thumbs up.