Swallow Me Whole: A Friends To Lovers Romance

by Gemma James

  Some say I’m a spitting image of my mother. I’d have to agree—right down to her inability to say no to my father. He’s always run our household with an iron grip. And my mother and I have always fallen in line.

  Not this time.

  “It can’t be fixed.”

  “Nonsense. Everything can be fixed.”

  Meaning he never fails to find a way to get what he wants. It’s the lawyer in him. Being a defense attorney isn’t just a job to my father. It’s a passion. A calling. A way of life.

  And if his only child won’t follow in his footsteps, the least she can do is marry an attorney of his choosing. I can already see it coming, and my skin breaks out in a cold sweat at the realization.

  “He’s been fucking his assistant,” I say, my tone flat and disinterested. Because I am. Jake was attractive for a hot minute, but the moment I watched another woman go down on him and failed to feel my heart crack told me everything I need to know. His betrayal hurt and angered me, but it didn’t break me. “I caught Candy giving him a blow job in his office the night of his birthday.”

  “There’s no need to use such obscene language, Sadie.”

  Oh, for fuck’s sake.

  I bite my lip since arguing with him never helps anyone.

  “He’s a good man, Sadie. He made a mistake, but he’s owning up to it. He’s willing to do whatever is necessary to make it up to you.”

  My jaw slackens. Jake actually told him the unvarnished truth, but my father is still defending him. I’m utterly stupefied as I rise from the chair, more hurt over my dad’s reaction to Jake’s betrayal than I am the actual betrayal.

  “I should get back to work,” I say, blinking to hold back the threat of tears.

  “That’s my girl,” he says, a note of pride entering his tone. “Don’t forget. This Friday. JJ will pick you up at six sharp. It’s a formal gathering, so use the credit card to buy something appropriate.”

  As I leave my father’s office, I have trouble drawing a deep breath. Jake and Friday and appropriate formal wear—all of it tightens around my neck like a noose I can’t escape.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ashton

  Three days go by with no word from Corinne.

  And Sadie…well, I’m pretty sure she’s avoiding me. I’ve texted her a couple of times, but she hasn’t responded. I’d be lying if I said a small part of me isn’t relieved. The thought of telling Sadie about the situation with Corinne is turning me into an irritable ass.

  I don’t want to believe Corinne is carrying my child.

  I don’t want to believe Sadie is avoiding me.

  So I’m burying my head in the sand by throwing myself into work. My newfound appreciation for my job was doing the trick until Sadie shows up at my house Thursday night. She’s wearing sweatpants, no makeup, and no way in hell do I miss the dejection lining her beautiful face.

  “What’s wrong?” I usher her inside and take her coat before hanging it up in the closet. I can never resist pulling at her layers; lately it means I end up with her naked in front of me.

  Or on her knees at my feet.

  “It’s this dinner party at my parents’ house tomorrow night.”

  “They’re having a party?” There’s mild surprise in my tone. I don’t recall her mentioning a party—not one that would call for her looking this upset.

  “It’s a work thing.”

  Work…

  Oh.

  “Work, as in Jake’s involved?”

  She nods.

  I try swallowing the bad taste in my mouth that speaking that bastard’s name leaves behind, but it’s impossible. Considering how my feelings for her are morphing onto the edge of serious, it makes sense that speaking of her scumbag ex is like poison on my tongue.

  “Jake finally got his promotion. Of course, my father is putting on a celebration.”

  “I’m sure your parents will understand you passing on it.” I fold my arms across my chest. “I can’t believe your dad promoted him. After what the asshole did to you, I’m surprised he hasn’t been fired yet.” Especially knowing Joseph Sawyer the way I do. He’s overprotective, overbearing, and over-ridiculous.

  An uncomfortable glint passes through her jade eyes as she wrings her hands. “I didn’t tell him what happened. But Jake did.”

  “And?”

  “And my father says Jake will make it up to me.”

  I’m stunned speechless for a few moments. Then the implications of her words really sink in, and disbelief roils in my gut, anger right on the tail of it. “You aren’t serious. Tell me he isn’t taking that asshole’s side?”

  “Jake can do no wrong in his eyes.”

  The hurt shadowing her face is too much to bear. I clench my hands, fighting the urge to pull her into my arms. “You can’t go to this dinner. Jake doesn’t deserve your presence there after what he did.”

  “I can’t not go.”

  “Why the hell not, Sawyer?”

  “I…you wouldn’t understand.”

  I refrain from gritting my teeth. Barely. “Try me.”

  “It’s only one night. I’d rather go and get it over with than disappoint my dad. I just wish Jake would leave me the fuck alone.”

  “He’s still bothering you?”

  “He’s got it in his head that I’m going to give him a second chance.”

  “Trust me, Sadie, I can correct him on that misconception. Just give me ten minutes with the prick.”

  “C’mon, Ash! I didn’t come here so you could go all Tarzan on your chest. I just needed…”

  Letting the tension ebb from my shoulders, I close the distance between us and tilt her chin up. “What is it?”

  “I needed a friend.”

  It’s a simple confession, and maybe that’s why it hits the bullseye of my heart. People often overlook the small things in life, but it’s the little things that keep you going.

  Like Sadie coming to me because she needed someone. Not Mandy, but me.

  That has to mean something.

  “I’m always here for you. Always.” I want to tell her she’s so much more than a friend to me, but now isn’t the time. The dread in my gut solidifies as my issues with Corrine come sneaking back in. Sadie and I are close to…something.

  I can feel it heating up at the center of my being.

  And Corinne could ruin everything. If she’s really pregnant, I’ll step up. There isn’t another option, but I despise the idea that this might drop a huge roadblock between Sadie and me.

  “I have to attend the dinner,” she says, breaking into my tumultuous thoughts. “My dad is having Jake pick me up at six. But I think he’s only going to use this dinner to insert himself back into my life.”

  “There’s an easy solution to all of this. Tell your father you won’t go.”

  With a sigh, she steps back, and I drop my hand, instantly missing the heat of her skin.

  “Dad and Jake are close. Failing to show up won’t change anything.” She pauses, giving me a considering look. “That’s why I need you to go with me…as my date.”

  I never knew a person could feel such anger and elation in the same breath. But that’s what I am—outraged at her need to play charades in order to avoid conflict, and utterly excited at the prospect of being with her for a night, no pretenses or excuses.

  If only her obstinate parents and ex weren’t part of the picture.

  “Yes to the date, but no to your parents uppity shindig.”

  She arches a brow. “Uppity shindig? You really don’t like my parents, do you?”

  “I can’t say the dislike isn’t mutual. But I’m serious. Let’s do something else tomorrow night. Let me take you out on a real date.” I shoot her a grin. “It’s the least I can do, considering what a good job you’ve done at sucking me off.”

  Despite her eye-roll, her cheeks warm to a rosy hue. “Please, Ash. I know how you feel about my parents, but I need you for this.”

  “To hell with how I feel.
The douchebag cheated on you with his fucking assistant. Your father should be on your side, Sadie. You need to stand up to him.”

  “I will,” she says with a downcast stare. “As soon as things calm down, I’ll talk to my father and make him understand.”

  I don’t believe her for a second.

  “Now just isn’t a good time,” she continues. “The partners from the firm are going to be there, and they expect to see me there too.” Her mouth twists in disdain. “I don’t want to walk in there with Jake. Please, Ashton. I need a buffer.”

  “Tell them no. It’s not hard to do.”

  She darts her fingers through her red hair. “It is for me.”

  I advance on her by a couple of steps. “Do you always do what other people tell you to do?”

  Her gorgeous green eyes widen at the challenge in my tone. “Not always.”

  Another step forward. Four more inches of space eaten up by my invading body. I’m going to invade the fuck out of the bubble she hides inside. “Prove it. Tell me no.”

  She cocks her head, her perfectly arched brows narrowing in confusion. “No to what?”

  “To kissing you.” I close the last few inches of space between us and slide my hands along her cheeks. “I’m going to kiss you, Sadie, then I’m going to push you to your knees and make you do very, very dirty things to my cock.”

  Her pupils dilate. She swallows hard, struggling to speak the word I’m challenging her to say. “No” is on the tip of her tongue, but the way her chest rises and falls gives her true feelings away, not to mention the blatant want and need blazing in the depths of her eyes.

  She wants me, and that gives me hope.

  This no kissing, no-getting-too-intimate bullshit has to end. Putting rules up as a barrier won’t save either of us from what we want, and it’s as clear as her flawless, kissable skin that we want each other.

  “I want to kiss you, Sadie.”

  “Why?”

  My grin is a bit incredulous. “Have you really not figured it out yet?”

  “Enlighten me.”

  “I’m fucking crazy about you.”

  Damn, there’s that look again. She’s the beautiful doe caught in the blinding path of my light. I brush my thumb across her lips, and my heartbeat accelerates. My jeans tighten to the point of pain.

  “Let me kiss you,” I whisper.

  She won’t say no. Her entire life revolves around pleasing others, and I’m just enough of a bastard—just that pathetic and desperate—that I’ll take advantage of it. I’ll exploit the fuck out of it.

  She blinks several times. “Okay.”

  I settle my hands on her shoulders and dip my head, hesitating as her warm breath drifts across my mouth.

  And I know if I taste her lips, it won’t be enough. I’ll want her underneath me, her skin covered in sweat, her nails digging into my shoulders. My cock finding heaven between her legs.

  “What if I want more than a kiss?”

  Her tongue darts out to wet her lips. “I’m not sleeping with you.”

  Rejection has never hurt so much. Not because she won’t let me into her bed, but it’s the tone behind it. I’m not good enough to be her first. Not worthy enough.

  Instead of kissing her, I graze a path to her ear. “Then I guess I’ll have to settle for your sweet mouth wrapped around my cock. If I can’t fuck you, at least I can shoot my load down your throat.” My tone is harsh, cruel even. I’m frustrated and taking it out on Sadie, and some small part of me kicks myself for being such an ass, but she’s getting under my skin like no other woman ever has.

  It’s driving me fucking insane.

  Her shoulders become rigid underneath my hands. “Let me go,” she says, her voice mangled by hurt.

  “Unlike you, I have no problem saying no.” I back her into the nearest wall and cage her petite body between my arms, refusing to let her escape. “After you swallow every drop I give you, I’m gonna watch you play with yourself, but this time…” I trail off, meeting the challenge in her fierce gaze. “This time I won’t let you come. In fact, I’ll make you edge until you finally learn how to put yourself first for a change.”

  Shoving against my chest, she gains a few inches of ground and glares at me. “No,” she says, and that single word comes out with such conviction, I’m both frustrated and proud of her.

  “What exactly are you saying no to?”

  “All of it. We agreed to keep this…” She halts, her cute little nose wrinkling the way it always does when she’s searching for the right word. “Whatever this is, we agreed to…to…”

  “Spit it out, Sawyer.” I know what she’s getting at, but damn, I can’t help but goad her when her face flushes like that.

  “Things weren’t supposed to get so complicated.”

  “Life’s complicated. Especially when you’re twenty-two and still allowing your parents to dictate your life.” The asshole in me rises, demanding to take over. Demanding that I demand things from her. I shoot a hand out and curl my fingers around her tiny wrist. “I should punish you for that alone.”

  “Let me go.”

  “Who’s calling the shots here, Sadie?” With a gentle tug, I pull her to the couch and make her drape over the arm.

  “You seem to think you are,” she bites out.

  Gathering her wrists in one hand, I hold them at the small of her back as I shove her sweatpants down her thighs.

  “Are you challenging my authority?” I’m crossing a line here, but I can’t stop myself.

  If she were mine, this is exactly what I’d do, so I guess I’m staking my claim.

  “Answer me. Are you challenging me?”

  “Kind of hard to do that when you’ve got my arms trapped behind my back and my pants down, isn’t it?”

  Fucking hell, how I love that tone of hers.

  “You’re giving me a hard-on, Sawyer. When you stand up for yourself, it’s a free invitation for my cock to stand up as well.”

  “Ugh! You’re infuriating!”

  “And you’re so goddamn sexy it drives me insane.” Taking a deep breath, I let my fingers drift over her bare ass, my palm twitching to make contact. Before I give in and spank her, I let her go.

  I won’t punish her. Not yet.

  I’m still holding out hope that she’ll stand up to Joseph Sawyer. What kind of father puts anyone above his own daughter? Especially a man who cheated on her. The whole situation is disgusting. If she doesn’t give her father a piece of her mind, I might do it for her.

  She stands, straightening her spine, and shoots me a defeated look as she pulls up her pants.

  “I can’t talk you into going with me, can I?”

  “I’ll go with you.” I pause, drawing this out. “Under one condition.”

  She sighs. “I already told you—”

  “I don’t care what you said. Tomorrow night, you’re going to tell your father to shove his expectations up his ass. It’s way past time, Sadie.”

  “And what if I can’t?” Her voice is high-pitched. Distressed. To me, I’m not asking much, but to Sadie, I’m asking everything. I’m asking her to stir the pot, to disrupt her tidy little life.

  I’m asking her to upset her father, and that’s something she avoids at all costs.

  “If you don’t do what I ask, then I’ll punish you, and I’m not talking about an innocent spanking.”

  “Punish me how?”

  “And ruin all the fun? I don’t think so.”

  She grinds her molars, and I know she’s fighting the urge to argue with me. And part of me wants her to. Part of me wants her to give me a reason to show her who she’s dealing with. I’m getting harder just thinking of what it would be like to take away her control. To bend her to my will.

  Her mouth drops open, then she clamps her lips shut and stomps to the coat closet. Sadie shoots me a glare as she yanks her jacket from the hanger. I can’t help but watch her in amusement as she shoves her arms into the sleeves.

  “P
unish me however you like. I’m not making a scene tomorrow night.” She slams the door, and in the wake of her tornado-like exit, I can’t decide whether to be angry, or excited.

  Tomorrow night, I’m going to put all of my cards on the table.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sadie

  “Are you holding out on me?” Mandy meets my gaze through the reflection in the mirror. She’s standing in the open doorway of my bedroom, her dark brows more severe than usual.

  “What do you mean?” I ask as I add another coat of mascara.

  “You’re taking a lot of care in the makeup department.” She shrugs. “I guess I find it strange you’d go to so much trouble for a guy who cheated on you.” Leaning against the doorjamb, she crosses her arms. “Unless you’ve got a hot date to this thing at your parents’ house you’re not telling me about.”

  I hide my nervousness behind a small laugh. “I’ve got a real hot date,” I say, infusing sarcasm into my tone. “I roped Ash into going with me. I thought he could help fend off Jake.” Now, when Ashton shows up at the apartment I share with his sister, I have a valid reason for him picking me up.

  Just play it cool, Sadie. She doesn’t need to know just how hot of a date Ash really is.

  Her shoulders sag. “Oh. You had me excited there for a second. I thought you were up to something interesting.”

  “Nope. Just a boring work-related dinner.”

  And the promise of Ashton’s “punishment” hanging over my head because no way am I going to do what he wants me to do. Standing up to my dad is an inevitability—he’s right about that—but tonight isn’t the time, and a work function isn’t the place.

  I’m not the sort of girl who makes waves, especially at work events.

  Especially at my parents’ house.

  As I twist my hair into a neat up-do, Mandy saunters into the room. “You should wear it down. You’ve got gorgeous hair. I’d kill for it.”

  I wrinkle my nose. “It’s a wild mess.”

  “I should know better than to argue with you about your hair by now.” She flings my closet open and begins rifling through my clothing. “By the way, Brett and I are going out next weekend with Shane. We think you should come along.”