Swallow Me Whole: A Friends To Lovers Romance

by Gemma James

  Holy hell, he’s fighting dirty.

  Me: Yes. No touching means no touching.

  Ashton: This was Mandy’s idea?

  Me: Yeah.

  Ashton: So basically my sister’s being a cock-blocker. You can tell her I said that.

  I bite back a smile.

  Me: Do we have a deal?

  Ashton: That depends.

  My heart thuds to the bottom of my gut, and my thumbs tremble as I type out the next message.

  Me: On what?

  Ashton: If I’m allowed to fall in love with you all over again.

  I’m certain my cheeks are pink, and every person in the building can sense the huge grin on my face, but I don’t care because something low in my belly is fluttering, growing warmer, siphoning the doubt and fear from my veins.

  Me: I kinda hope you do.

  Ashton: I’m kinda certain I will.

  Me: So we’re going to do this?

  Ashton: Fuck yes. Can I pick you up tomorrow night?

  Me: What time?

  Ashton: 10pm.

  Me: Why so late?

  Ashton: It’s a surprise. Don’t wear a dress or skirt.

  I furrow my brows.

  Me: Why not?

  Ashton: I’ve only got so much willpower.

  Shit, he’s not the only one. I’m about to needle him again about what he has in mind for tomorrow night when he sends another message.

  Ashton: Besides, you need to dress warm for this.

  Me: You won’t even give me a hint?

  Ashton: I just did. My lunch break is over. I’ll see you tomorrow night, Sawyer.

  I stuff my phone back into my purse, giddy and aflutter. This friend date idea is going to require a level of restraint I’m not sure I possess, but I’m going to give it my all.

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  Sadie

  “I can’t guarantee the no touching rule.” It’s the first thing out of his mouth after he shows up on my doorstep.

  “Really? Reneging on our agreement already?”

  He holds up a helmet. “Some things require a certain amount of contact.”

  My lips curve into a smile. Now I understand why he said to dress warm, though being that it’s December, I would have done so anyway.

  Just to be on the safe side, I dressed in layers—leggings under jeans, a long-sleeved thermal under my shirt, hat and gloves and boots. My hair is in a long, thick braid, and I’ll be damned if I let him unravel it.

  He’s dressed accordingly too, and too damn hot in his faded jeans, black leather jacket, and a dark Carhartt beanie pulled low over his forehead. I grab my coat and let him usher me into the vestibule.

  “You’re not going to tell me where we’re going, are you?”

  “Nope.”

  “Figured as much.”

  He fits the helmet on my head, we mount the bike, then we’re roaring down the street, pressed together in a way that is so against the rules, but Ashton’s clever like that. He’s doggedly determined when he wants something, and he wants me. I close my eyes and tighten my arms around his waist, shivering from the warmth spreading between my legs at the thought of being wanted by him.

  I won’t lie. It’s an addictive feeling.

  He takes us out of town, and about thirty minutes later, I lean with him as he turns onto a county road. It’s deserted, curvy, the incline leading us up a mountain. The sky is a blanket of stars, cloudless and moonless, which only makes this night colder.

  Wherever we’re headed, he’ll want to warm me up.

  Clever, indeed.

  Sometime later, the bike rolls to a stop in a clearing at the top of the mountain. Ashton helps me off before removing my helmet, and my teeth are already chattering as he unfastens the bungee cords on his pack.

  “What are we doing here?” I move in a circle, taking in the cold landscape. “Where is here?”

  “We’re about ten miles past the falls.”

  “Okay…why? In case you haven’t noticed, it’s freezing out here.” My eyes adjust to the moonless night, and I catch him smirking.

  “I noticed.” Entwining our fingers, he leads me through the scattered brush and boulders to a level spot on the ground.

  “Ash, I’m serious. What are we doing here?”

  “The Geminid meteor shower peaks tonight.”

  I let out an excited squeal. “Really! A meteor shower?”

  “Damn, Sawyer. Your enthusiasm is a turn-on. I could kiss you right now.”

  “Against the rules.”

  He unzips the pack and begins unrolling a sleeping bag. “How about staying warm? Is that against the rules?”

  “It’s fucking cold out here, so we’ll make an exception. But keep your hands to yourself.”

  “You must think I’m a saint,” he mutters as he spreads the sleeping bag onto the ground. He gestures for me to go first. “After you.”

  I slip inside, snuggling into the thick blanket, and he follows suit. We lie shoulder-to-shoulder, barely touching, kept toasty only by the waves of heat our bodies emit.

  And dammit, it’s not enough, but there’s no way I can tell him that. I need to see this friend date idea through to the end.

  “When’s this meteor shower supposed to start?” I ask.

  He reaches to the side and grabs the thermos he unpacked. “Any time now.” He takes a long swig then passes it to me. “Drink some coffee. It’ll warm you up.”

  “Jeez, you’re bossy.”

  “You should be used to it by now.”

  We pass the coffee back and forth for a while, and instead of settling into a comfortable silence with a friend, I’m painfully aware of his nearness.

  The rise and fall of his chest.

  The sound of his breathing.

  Every subtle move he makes.

  The expanse of glittering stars overhead, cast bright from the dawn of midnight, appears to envelope us. Utter quiet amplifies our seclusion, and I feel as if we’ve been transplanted on another world.

  The setting is too…intimate.

  I clear my throat. “Where are we supposed to be looking?”

  He grabs my wrist. “Point your finger.”

  I do as told, and he lines up the point of my finger with the three horizontal stars that make up the belt of the hunter.

  “See Orion’s Belt?”

  “Yeah.”

  Slowly moving my hand upward, he draws a line from the left star in the belt to the bright reddish one at the top of the constellation. “Keep going and you’ll find Gemini up there.” Just as my finger reaches Ashton’s destination in the universe, a star shoots out from where I’m pointing.

  “Wow! That was a bright one.”

  Lulled into a calm quiet, we watch the sky, counting shooting stars, and the whole time, Ashton’s got my hand clasped in his. The gentle sweep of his thumb against the back of my hand is burrowing underneath my resolve.

  I want to turn into him, snuggle against his side, feel his arms tight around me. But if we do that, we’ll start kissing, and then hands will wander. Fingers will work at buttons and zippers. Tongues will trail across skin. Teeth will nip. We’ll set this sleeping bag on fire.

  I untangle my fingers from his. “For these friend dates to work, we have to follow the rules.”

  “Friend dates, huh? Did Mandy come up with that?”

  “No, I did. And don’t mock me, Ash. We were friends long before we fucked it up with too much…” I trail off, unable to find the right words.

  Because there are no right words—none without sexual connotation.

  “I’m listening,” Ashton says, breaking into my mental tangent. “We fucked it up with too much of what?”

  “With wanting more.”

  He shifts onto his side, and his chest comes into contact with my arm. “Is that such a bad thing?”

  “No,” I whisper, going breathless because his hot breath is at my ear. “But I need to know that our friendship is still solid.”

  “It
’s solid. If you need me to keep my lips and hands off of you to prove it, then I’ll do it.”

  I draw in a shaky breath then let it out. “I don’t want to keep you at arms-length, but…”

  “You need to,” he murmurs. “I get it. Our chemistry is explosive.” His voice drops to a raspy timber. “It simmers the blood, rushes heat to the groin. Makes the heart pound, the brain delirious.” He traces the edge of my ear with his nose.

  “Ashton,” I warn, though my voice is barely there, stolen by his sensual stanza.

  “I’m smelling you. That’s not against the rules.”

  “You have a way of breaking rules.”

  “Guilty as charged. But I keep my promises. Your virtue’s safe with me.”

  “My virtue?” I can’t help it—a giggle escapes me. “I might be a virgin, but thanks to you, I’m far from virtuous.”

  “Thank God for small favors.”

  His breath is still a blast of heat to my ear, and I shiver from the chill of night trying to seep in through the sleeping bag.

  “Are you warm enough?” he asks.

  “Yes,” I lie.

  “You’re shivering.”

  “I’m okay.” Another star streaks across the sky. “Can we just watch the meteor shower?”

  “This is bullshit, Sadie. Let me hold you.” He doesn’t give me a choice. Winding an arm under the back of my shoulders, he pulls me into him, my ass to his groin, and rests his hand on my belly. We settle into a partial spooning position that allows a good angle for skywatching.

  “Better?” he asks, nuzzling my jawline.

  “Mmm-hmm.” This feels too good, and I know he’s experiencing it too. His burgeoning erection is evidence enough.

  “Have you made any wishes yet, Sawyer?”

  “No.”

  “Well get on it. This show only comes around once a year.”

  I glance up in time to witness the brightest meteor yet, its tail spanning the sky in a brushstroke of cosmic artistry.

  “Make a wish,” he whispers into my ear.

  I wish for the strength to resist him, to give us a foundation that’s built on more than the physical. When it comes to Ashton, I want it all with him.

  Chapter Forty

  Ashton

  As birthday celebrations go, it’s a small gathering. Just Bryce and a couple of friends from work. And Brett and the brother.

  The date.

  I’m in the kitchen with Bryce and the guys, bullshitting about work and women over beer and pizza, but I’m only half interested. I can’t keep my attention from wandering to the living room, where Sadie is trying her damnedest not to look at me. She’s failing miserably.

  She and my sister are standing in a small group of friends…and Brett and the brother.

  The date.

  Fuck, it digs under my skin that this guy is anywhere near my girl. Logically, I have no reason to harbor such jealousy—she told me as much herself the last time we went on one of our “friend dates.” But logic and assurances does jack shit from stopping me from wanting to stalk over there and claim her as mine in front of everyone.

  We’ve kept our budding relationship on the down low, and Mandy and Bryce are the only ones who have an inkling of what’s going on. By the end of the night, if my plans play out like I’m hoping, Sadie and I will no longer be a secret.

  We’ll no longer be stuck in limbo hell, trapped in the constraints of Sadie’s unbendable rules.

  And it’s about time. For weeks now, I’ve barely managed to keep my hands and lips to myself, and it’s been absolute torture.

  Laughter filters through the living room, and I find Sadie piercing me with her green eyes from where she stands as she chats with one of Mandy’s friends from the club.

  I know the brunette…intimately. I can’t recall her name, but I remember her colorful ink of butterflies and barbed wire that circle her wrists. She says something that makes Sadie laugh.

  Beautiful laughter as melodious as the finest symphony.

  The brunette happens to catch my gaze, and there’s no mistaking the inviting design of her smile. Sadie picks up on it and falls silent.

  Shit.

  I’ve fucked half of the female population in Douglas Falls, so keeping Sadie away from my past conquests is an impossibility. She knows my sordid history better than most, but now that things have shifted between us, I’m not sure how she’ll handle the inevitable run-ins with the girls I’ve hooked up with.

  Hopefully, after tonight, it won’t matter. There will be no more doubt, no more insecurities. No more running from something that is scary and a huge step but so fucking worth it.

  No more waiting.

  The brunette’s attention is lured away by Brett, and Sadie takes a sip of her cocktail, meeting my gaze above the rim of her glass. Those jade eyes narrow on me, darkening with a hint of jealousy and a whole lot of awareness. I swear she knows what I’m thinking.

  Tonight is the night I’m going to bust through the last of her walls, and she’s going to let me. Everyone around us might as well fade away because Sadie and I fall into intense moments of longing, surrendering to the connection that not even a room full of people can shatter. We’re going to cross the line tonight. It doesn’t even need to be spoken.

  “You’re totally going to fuck her.” Bryce takes a swig of his beer.

  “Did your crystal ball tell you that?”

  “Please,” he scoffs, “I don’t need bullshit mumbo jumbo to spell it out for me. If eyesight had the power to strip, you’d both be naked a dozen times over, man.” He nods toward Sadie. “Why don’t you take her into your bedroom and get it over with?”

  “Are you serious right now?” I arch a brow at him, and the other guys laugh before Bryce can reply.

  “That’s hilarious,” says Preston, a guy from my crew. “Ash and Sadie? Riiiight.” The guy’s buzzed and doesn’t mean anything by it, but that still doesn’t stop me from socking him in the shoulder. “Don’t be a douche. It’s my birthday.”

  “You’re pushing fifty now, right?”

  “Dude, take that back. Don’t make me sic my sister on you.”

  He throws his hands in the air. “Your sister is scary as fuck.”

  I’m about to agree with him when I catch movement out of my peripheral. Sadie saunters toward the kitchen, and she’s got a sexy, come-hither curve to her lips. I’m powerless against her witchery—she never fails to tempt my dick into a standing ovation.

  “Have I told you ‘Happy Birthday’ yet?” She stops on the other side of the bar and sets down her empty tumbler.

  “You might’ve told me a time or two.” I grab her glass and mix her another drink before sliding it into her waiting hands. “Want another piece of pizza?”

  She glances down at her drink. “What I want is a little alcohol with the juice. Did you forget I hit the legal age over a year ago, Ash?”

  “Nope.” As I lean over the bar and shoot her a flirty grin, I’m fully aware the guys have gone quiet. “Maybe I don’t want to get you drunk.”

  She snorts. “Said no man ever.”

  “I can’t have my way with you if you get plastered.”

  A low whistle brings me around to face the guys again. “You got something to share with the class, boys?”

  “Nope,” Preston says, choking back laughter. “It’s your birthday. Who am I to disillusion you?” He tips his beer toward me in a sign of cheers. “Keep living in fantasy land.”

  Setting my beer down, I round the bar and grab Sadie by the hand before ushering her into the middle of the living room. “I’ve got an announcement to make,” I call out. The chatter dies down, and everyone’s attention turns to me. “This incredible, sexy, stubborn woman,” I say, pulling her snug against me, “is mine.”

  Another one of my coworkers joins in on the ribbing. “How much have you had to drink, Levine?”

  “Which Levine are you talking to?” Mandy speaks up, a grin on her face.

  “Th
e drunk dude who thinks he’s got a chance with Sadie.” More laughter, followed by more ribbing from the assholes I happen to call friends. But at some point, everyone realizes I’m being serious, and they go quiet again.

  “I’m not kidding. She’s my girl, and now you all know it.”

  Sadie’s eyes are huge and alight with the tiniest amount of irritation. I sense an argument on the rise. She’s either reverting into retreat-mode, or she’s about to give me grief. Before she can do either, I lift her over my shoulder and stride toward my bedroom.

  “Ash! What are you doing? Put me down!”

  “We’ve got some private celebrating to do.” My houseguests treat us to a tirade of catcalls as I disappear down the hall. We escape into my bedroom and shut the door amid more boisterous laughter.

  “You are absolutely crazy,” she says as I set her on her feet.

  “Crazy for you, Sawyer.”

  The weeks of no touching, no kissing, no nothing but friends rise between us, and we crack under the weight of desire. We fly at each other, our mouths colliding as if destined to come together in this frenzied reunion. I’m starved for her, drugged by the insistent licks of her tongue against mine. She reaches between us and rubs me through my jeans, and I groan against her mouth.

  My response spurs her on, and she unbuttons my pants and tears at the zipper, her movements jerky and desperate and raw with hunger.

  Then she’s fisting my cock, and I’m the desperate one. Breaking our lip-lock, I glance down and watch her stroke my length.

  Jesus, it’s been too long, and I’ve regressed into a pubescent boy experiencing his first hand job. I grab her wrist.

  “Take it easy. You’re going to end this before it begins.”

  “What makes you think you’re getting lucky?” Her expression is one-hundred percent sass. “I’m just playing with what’s mine, Ash.”

  “Don’t deny you haven’t been eye-fucking me all night.”

  “I won’t deny it. Still doesn’t mean you’re getting lucky.”

  With a laugh, I slide my hands into her hair. “I’m already lucky. More lucky than the luckiest bastard on the planet.”

  “Well, that’s true.”

  Backing her toward my bed, I kiss a wet path up her neck until I reach the top of her jawline. “Time’s up, baby. I’m calling the shots, and I say you’re ready for your next lesson.”