Defending Dani

by Kat Mizera

  “Of course you’re invited.” She took a breath. “But I don’t know what we’ll tell my parents.”

  “The truth, honey. We’re dating but it’s not that serious because you’re leaving. If we need to say more than that, you’ll have to guide me because I don’t want to lie to your parents but I also don’t want to cheapen what we have by insinuating it’s a friends-with-benefits arrangement.”

  She wanted to ask him what, exactly, they had but this was neither the time nor the place.

  “Okay,” she said. “Let me say goodbye to Sara and the others and we’ll get going.”

  * * *

  Dani was nervous. After all the time they’d spent together over the last few months, he knew every nuance of her body language, every expression that crossed her face, and she was nervous as hell. Introductions had been easy, though he’d seen the curiosity on both her parents’ faces when she’d introduced him once they’d arrived at the restaurant, since they’d taken two cars. Tiff’s sons, Derek and Duncan, had thrown fits about being the one to sit next to Dani, so they were on either side of her and Sergei was across from her. Zakk and Tiff were on either side of him, Savannah was in a high chair at the head of the table and Dani’s parents, Joe and Jennifer, were across from each other at the other end. It was large but intimate, and once they were settled, her parents eyed Sergei with obvious interest.

  “Is there something you want to tell us, dear?” Her mother’s eyes gleamed with both curiosity and mischief.

  Dani rolled her eyes, something Sergei rarely saw her do unless she was goofing around with Niko.

  “Actually, no,” she responded. “But since you’re about to jump out of your skin trying to find out, yes, Sergei and I are dating.”

  “It’s about time,” Jennifer said smoothly. “I thought you were going to be single forever. Tell us about yourself, Sergei.”

  Dani opened her mouth but nothing came out and Sergei opted to spare her as much discomfort as he could. “You probably already know I’m widowed and have a three-year-old son, Nikolai. I was born and raised in Moscow, but I came to the U.S. to attend Boston College fifteen years ago and have mostly played in the NHL since graduating, though I did go back to Russia for a few years. I play for the team in Anchorage now so Dani and I have been taking everything slow since she’s going to be gone for the next six months.”

  “Long-distance relationships are hard,” her father said thoughtfully. “Do you plan to be faithful while she’s gone?”

  “Dad.” Dani scowled.

  “It’s a fair question,” Sergei interjected. “And the answer is I don’t know. We haven’t talked about the next step for us. Once we do, we’ll make that decision.”

  There was an awkward silence but Zakk spoke up. “Well, Tiff and I have news.”

  “You’re finally getting married!” his mother gushed.

  Zakk sighed. “No, Ma. We’re expecting another baby.”

  “Yay!” Dani grinned, jumping up to run around the table and hug both of them.

  “I’m just finishing the first trimester,” Tiff said softly. “We’re expecting another little girl in February.”

  “That’s wonderful.” There was more hugging and kissing before they went back to their seats.

  “I still want to know when you’re getting married,” Jennifer said firmly. “It’s been long enough and now there will be four children to think about.”

  “Mom, the kids are fine,” Zakk said as patiently as he could. “Tiff doesn’t want to get married and I don’t think a piece of paper makes a difference.”

  “But why?”

  His mother obviously wasn’t going to let it go and though Sergei felt bad for Zakk and Tiff, he was grateful the focus was no longer on him and Dani.

  “Mom.” Zakk gave her a dirty look.

  “It’s okay.” Tiff squeezed his hand and turned to her future mother-in-law. “Mom, I do want to marry Zakk, I just…” She hesitated, obviously trying to determine how to convey what she wanted to say. “I want it to be special, something different. And I definitely don’t want to be pregnant. Maybe in another year. I don’t know exactly, and I’m sorry if that’s not a good answer. I want to, and we will, but not until the timing is right for me. Right now, I’m overwhelmed with the kids and trying to get my new practice off the ground… And now another baby. Please, can you forgive me for needing a little more time?”

  “Oh, sweet girl, you’re Zakk’s wife and another daughter to us regardless of a piece of paper, but it feels unfinished somehow…” Jennifer flushed. “I realize I’m probably a little old-fashioned, but I can’t help it.”

  “It’s okay.” Tiff smiled. “I love your son and there is absolutely no one else for me, forever. I would do anything for him—even marry him today if he said it was important to him.”

  “I can wait,” Zakk said softly, kissing her cheek.

  Conversation moved back to the upcoming baby and Sergei had the strangest pang of…envy? Jealousy? He couldn’t quite articulate what he was feeling but watching the way Zakk looked at his fiancée made him miss being in a couple. It had taken him a little while to warm up to the idea of Tatiana being pregnant since she’d been three months along before she’d told him, but then he’d been beyond excited. Those had been good times, some of the happiest in his life, and he’d never expected to be that happy again. Yet he was. Dani made him that happy.

  “Why didn’t you bring Niko?” Jennifer was asking him.

  Sergei smiled. “I figured three kids was enough and he tends to dominate Dani’s time when he’s with her. I know she wanted to spend some time with the twins and Savannah.”

  “There’s plenty of love and attention to go around in this family,” Jennifer said lightly. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

  Sergei tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Niko didn’t really have grandparents. Tatiana’s parents were dead and he wouldn’t have wanted Niko to have a relationship with her father anyway. His parents were alive, of course, and he sent pictures and videos regularly, but he didn’t plan to ever go back to Russia and his father suspected the government would never let him and his wife come to the U.S. together. His mother, Anastasia, wasn’t comfortable traveling alone, so he’d resigned himself to the fact Niko wouldn’t have grandparents who were an active part of his life. With Dani, not only would he have a woman who truly made him happy, his son would also have grandparents, an extra aunt and uncle, and more cousins. How the fuck was he going to walk away from Dani three weeks from now?

  25

  Dinner that night was at Zakk and Tiff’s house. Once again, the food was plentiful, varied, and delicious. Steaks and burgers came off the grill, plus scalloped potatoes, baked potatoes, four different salads, corn on the cob, broccoli casserole, and beverages that ranged from pitchers of homemade sangria to bottled water and everything in between. It was a family event, but here in Las Vegas family extended to a lot of close friends. The house was full, the back patio was full, and the kitchen bustled with activity.

  Dani couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a fun birthday and if it wasn’t for the strange undercurrent with Sergei, it would’ve been the best day of her life. Nothing was wrong between them, but the constant barrage of questions about their future weighed on her. She’d known leaving him would be hard and had tried to mentally prepare herself for the sadness that was inevitable, but her feelings for him grew stronger with each passing day, diminishing the excitement of the Olympics and her new job.

  “You shouldn’t be thinking about such serious stuff,” Sergei whispered, coming up behind her and sliding his arms around her.

  “How do you know what I was thinking about?” she laughed, leaning into him and soaking in his warmth.

  “You always get that tiny little frown between your brows when you’re thinking about something that makes you unhappy.”

  “You know me too well,” she sighed.

  “What were you thinking about?”

&
nbsp; “What do you think?”

  “Us.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Not today, okay?” He turned her around and pulled her close. “Enjoy your birthday. Enjoy your family. And presents… Did you see that stack of presents out there?”

  She smiled at that, nodding. “Oh, yeah.”

  “Let’s not ruin tonight with all that other stuff. Tomorrow, let’s go out on a date, just the two of us, and we’ll talk. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  * * *

  Dani hadn’t been expecting much in the way of gifts because of the incredible one she’d received this morning from Zakk and Toli. However, her parents got her new Under Armour to take with her to Colorado, Sara got her the new mystery novel she’d been wanting, and Tiff, Tessa, Sara, and Rachel had all chipped in for a spa day tomorrow. The last bag came from the Michael Kors store and she frowned slightly as she picked it up. There was no card, just a tag hanging from the handle that said “Love, Sergei.” She dug through the paper and pulled out a gorgeous handbag and matching shoes. They were in a trendy blush-pink color, very similar to the dress she’d worn out to dinner with him, and she bit her lip to keep from crying. He’d remembered what she’d said about wanting shoes and purses that matched.

  She met his eye and smiled, blinking away happy tears. “Thank you,” she whispered. “You heard me say I wanted these…” Though she hadn’t specified these exactly, he would know what she meant and no one else needed to know the details.

  “I do listen,” he said lightly, kissing her lips when she leaned over. “Sometimes.”

  “Time for cake!” Tiff called out.

  Dani made a wish and blew out the candles, her eyes meeting Sergei’s as she did. She usually wished for things like new sticks or skates for her birthdays. This year she wished for Sergei, in whatever capacity she could have him. It was getting close to the time she would have to leave him and her gut told her he was thinking about it too. Every time their eyes met she sensed a sadness in him she’d never felt before. It could only mean one thing, but she refused to think about it. Not tonight anyway. Maybe not even this week. If he was going to end things, it would have to be when they were back in Anchorage.

  * * *

  The next few days went by quickly between the spa day, visiting friends, and spending time with her parents, so it was the day before they were supposed to go home before they had a chance to go out and spend a little time alone. They were together in bed every night but, except for the night of her birthday, they were usually naked and all over each other immediately. Sergei had tried, starting the night of her birthday, to scale back their insatiable sexual appetites, but the following night she wasn’t having it and had his dick in her mouth before he had a chance to say he was tired. There were no excuses after that and he didn’t bother trying to hold back. In the back of his mind, he knew he had to let her go, and he was going to enjoy every moment they had left. Especially since this would be their last day together. He’d made the decision last night after a lovemaking marathon that left them both completely spent.

  She was growing on him in ways he didn’t want to accept, and if it was happening this fast—technically just over a month that they’d been sleeping together—he couldn’t imagine what it would be like in another month, when she left. Niko was beyond attached to her, calling her Mommy and stuck like glue to her whenever she was around. Niko loved his father, but Dani was his go-to for everything, and the only reason it bothered Sergei was because she was leaving them. Well, he was going to send her away, even though she didn’t know it yet.

  “You’re the one thinking about something serious today,” she said as they settled into a booth at a local restaurant. “You were thinking about it last night, too. Well, after you turned me into a quivering puddle of orgasmic goo.”

  He chuckled. “I wasn’t thinking about anything except that luscious body of yours,” he said.

  “Uh-huh.” She cocked her head. “What’s going on, Sergei?”

  He took one of her hands between his and gently rubbed his thumbs across her skin.

  “Sergei?” The worry in her eyes gutted him.

  “I think…” He took a deep breath. “I think you should stay in Vegas.”

  “What?”

  “This thing between us is intense. We’re both getting attached and it’s not a good idea.”

  “Because I’m leaving?”

  “Niko is really attached, Dani, and we don’t know what the future holds. It’s not fair to let him think you’re going to be his new mommy when that’s probably not going to happen.”

  Dani looked like he’d punched her in the face and he tried to back-pedal. “I don’t mean we’re completely through, I just mean you should be able to focus on your dreams without worrying about the family you left behind. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to Niko. He’s three. He doesn’t understand the significance of the Olympics. All he’s going to know is that you’re gone.”

  “But I can come back,” she whispered.

  “Honey, you have a job waiting for you. How many NHL teams do you think are going to hire a woman who’s just out of college to be the assistant team trainer? It’s the chance of a lifetime and I’m not going to let you give it up.”

  “Shouldn’t that be my choice?” Her green eyes were emerald lasers even though they’d filled with tears.

  “You’re going to choose between your first lover and your first job?” He shook his head. “That’s unfair. And if things didn’t work out with us, you’d hate me.”

  “But Sergei…”

  “Listen to me.” He gripped her chin with his fingers and stared deep into those emerald depths. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be in Anchorage raising my son and playing hockey. You go do your thing. We’ll keep in touch. I checked my team’s schedule and we’ll be in Denver in October, so I’ll come see you. Maybe you’ll have moved on or—”

  “Stop it,” she hissed under her breath. “I won’t have moved on! Don’t try to ease your guilt by putting it on me. I’m crazy about you, Sergei, and after the Olympics I’d be willing to do whatever it takes to make things work. All you have to do is say you want me to.”

  He hated himself for what he was about to do, but he had to do it. He’d already had one woman give up her dreams for him, and all that had gotten her was dead. He wasn’t directly responsible for her death, but it boiled down to her making all the sacrifices for him. He’d asked the same of Maria and that had gone badly as well. No, the best thing for Dani was for him to let her go now, before he hurt her even worse.

  “Honey, I can’t make you promises for the future. I care for you, but I decided I wasn’t going to get married again, and that hasn’t changed. I know you, and after meeting your family, that would eventually be important to you.”

  “You don’t think you could ever love me?”

  Her eyes were so full of hurt he nearly cried himself.

  I already do, he thought miserably, but what he said out loud was entirely different. “I don’t think I can love anyone like that again. Tatiana took that with her when she died.”

  “Seriously?” She was staring at him, her eyes blazing despite the single tear that leaked out of the corner of one. “Did my family scare you off? Or were you just using me all along and felt like a big jerk when you had to pretend I meant something to you in front of others?”

  “You do,” he said quietly.

  “Then why don’t you want me?”

  “Because I’m going to hurt you. That’s what I do. Maria gave up her career to follow me to Russia and I broke her heart. Tatiana gave up everything for me—her medical career, her family, her country—and then she died for me, too. I won’t ask another woman to sacrifice for me, no matter how much I want her.”

  Dani closed her eyes, her jaw working as she struggled to maintain control.

  “Please don’t cry.” He tried to wipe the tears that were falling faster now, but she batted his hand away.
/>   “You will not humiliate me,” she hissed under her breath.

  “No, of course not.”

  “The story will be that I broke up with you. That being here this week made me realize how much I missed my brother and friends here in Vegas. You will not tell anyone the truth, especially not your brothers, because they’ll tell Zakk. Do you understand?”

  He tried to reach for her again but she’d scooted away from him and he didn’t pursue it. “Yes. I’ll do anything you want to make this easier for you.”

  “And you’re going to pay to ship my fucking car here.”

  “I can have it shipped to Colorado if you want,” he said quietly. “That way you can fly and won’t have to drive that far by yourself.”

  “Whatever. I don’t care.” She swiped at her eyes.

  “Dani.” He grabbed her hand, holding on even when she tried to pull away. “Please. Stop.”

  “What?” She met his eyes squarely, wearing the same expression she’d worn the day he’d snapped at her for letting Niko call her Mama D.

  “We can do this any way you want, but please don’t let Niko see you angry.”

  She wilted a little at the mention of his son. “I would never take it out on him.”

  “Taking it out on him and letting him see us at odds with each other is different.”

  “We won’t be at odds. We’ll go home and say I’ve decided to stay here and then I’ll talk to Sara about trading places with me. I can take over what she’s been doing for Tiff and Tessa and she can get settled in Anchorage.”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “It is.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He put one of his big hands on the side of her face and nearly lost his resolve when her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned into his palm.

  “I know. But you warned me. I thought maybe you’d want me now more than you’d want to hang on to the past. I guess I can’t compete with her.”

  “You’re not competing with anyone,” he said quietly. “You’re a treasure. That’s why I can’t take the chance I’ll fuck up your life. Everything about this guts me.”