[2016] Widowed and Pregnant

by Christian Michael

  “Thankfully I have a home waiting for me,” Rachel said with a smile. “It will be my first actually. I have spent most of my life as an orphan living in one of the city’s largest orphanages.”

  Again, the woman was taken aback by the honesty of this young girl. If it were she, she would not share this kind of information with people so bluntly. She did not mean to rush such judgment to this girl, however, she could not help but hear her own mother’s voice reciting that’s just not how we do things here in the South.

  “Well, home is where the heart is. You seem like such a lovely girl. I truly hope you find your heart to be filled with love in your new home.”

  Rachel found herself to be pleasantly surprised by the woman’s kindness towards her. Though she was used to dealing with various types of people, she was not used to exchanging such pleasantries with strangers.

  “That is a lovely thought and I thank you for your kind wishes. I have come to expect very little from people in my life especially when it comes to such temporary feelings as love.”

  “Don’t you believe in true love dear?” the woman asked gently, hiding her horror at the young girl’s dismissal of the purest human emotion. “Or love at first sight?”

  “These are lovely ideas but… I’ve learned not to get my hopes up. I have seen many people come and go in this life and if there is one thing I have learned it is that nothing lasts forever.”

  There was nothing untrue about this statement as far as Rachel was concerned. She was 22 years old and leaving behind the city she grew up in and anyone she had known previously. This is what she assumed all orphans do at some point in adulthood. She wanted to sever herself from her past and move towards her uncharted future.

  “You do have a point my dear,” the woman responded, near emotional exhaustion at this point. “My baby brother lost his wife last year. She was with child and now, sadly, my poor brother is without anyone but his dog to keep him company. Poor, poor boy.”

  “I’m so sorry. That is truly awful.” Rachel understood loneliness and immediately felt for the man. To have loved and lost seemed truly horrible.

  “The lord has his reasons and works in mysterious ways,” the woman offered as a consolation to the seemingly needless tragedy of death.

  “This I do believe to be true as well,” Rachel responded, eager not to leave a prolonged silence in the discussion of such human difficulties.

  In an effort to change the subject the woman, suddenly without an ounce of pain displayed on her face, turned her head to face Rachel and excitedly exclaimed “Christmas is coming!”

  ***

  As Emmitt paced up and down the train station’s wooden platform he wondered if the woman he had been corresponding with would approach him before he approached her. He had seen the one picture of her that accompanied her ad but she had not seen one of him. Emmitt feared that he might not recognize her. He had only briefly glanced at the picture, making his decision based on her choice of words and the feeling he felt in his stomach when he first read them. He repeated her name in his head over and over as he paced back and forth.

  Rachel. Rachel. Rachel.

  While as he watched the train’s passengers make their way off the train he noticed a familiar face at the other end of the platform. It was his sister Angela. Emmitt was aware that she was to be returning home after visiting their ailing aunt Betsy but he had no idea that she was coming back on the same train as his mail-order bride. I hope she doesn’t see me waiting here to meet my soon to be bride. How would I even begin to explain?

  Just then, Emmitt felt a tap on his shoulder and a soft voice behind him that said, “Excuse me sir.”

  He spun around so quickly, due in part to his desire not to be seen by Angela, that he nearly bumped heads with the woman attempting to speak to him.

  “You wouldn’t happen to be Mr. Emmitt Townshend would you?” asked Rachel, the young girl from the train.

  “Yes ma’am, that is my name,” he said nervously.

  “Hello Mr. Townshend, I am Rachel.”

  “My goodness, it is a true pleasure to meet you. You are even more beautiful than I could have imagined.”

  “You’re very kind.”

  “May I take your bags?” Emmitt asked. “We are not far from the carriage. It is right this way.”

  “Of course, thank you.”

  At last she is here, he thought to himself. He was relieved to have found his bride and sure that his sister, Angela, had not noticed him at the opposite end of the platform. This was a feeling of excitement that he not felt in some time.

  ***

  Rachel had never ridden a horse and carriage in the city. That was for people with more means and importance than her and her ilk. She feared that Emmitt would be put off she shared her inexperience with horses, so she kept these thoughts to herself.

  “Please, tell me about yourself Rachel.”

  “I come from New York City,” she began. “Sadly, I have no family. I have been an orphan since I was a small child.”

  “I am sorry to hear that,” Emmitt said as he thought about the family that he had lost and his deep desire to have one of his own. He wanted nothing more than to have a wife again and a child or two.

  “No need,” Rachel quickly responded. “I am a strong girl. I have learned how to take care of myself and get on with life.”

  “A noble quality indeed” Emmitt added admiringly.

  ***

  To Rachel’s surprise the marriage became official before they even got to the house. Emmitt had arranged for two of his friends, a lawyer and a minister whom he felt would honor his request to keep the matter private, to officiate and legalize the union. Despite the shock of how quickly things were happening, Rachel was somewhat relieved to not have to pick out a dress or have a large ceremony with the only guests being there on behalf of the groom.

  My husband certainly seems to be a nice man. He is quite handsome and not at all brutish. He certainly put some effort into planning this marriage ceremony.

  Rachel was as pleased to be marrying Emmitt as she could be given the circumstances. His looks, though pleasing, had not been of much importance to her in making the decision to come here. She had her eye on the bigger picture – marriage, a home, and security.

  Emmitt was so nervous during the ceremony that he thought he might actually vomit right there in front of the bride. He was sure that he wanted this but his stomach was unsure if it wanted to settle or turn itself upside down. He was grateful to get through it without causing embarrassment to himself or Rachel. Even after only just meeting within a matter of hours he was convinced that he was already in love with her. It didn’t hurt that he found her stunningly beautiful, but he found their conversations thus to be very engaging. He was fascinated by her experiences and her fearlessness at sharing her thoughts.

  ***

  The newlyweds pulled up the long driveway leading to Emmitt’s farm and house. It was almost too much for Rachel to take in. She had never seen a farm or been in the country. She was used to the buildings and long sidewalks of the city. The sights, sounds and smells were completely new to her and overloading her senses.

  Emmitt helped her step out of the carriage and escorted her to the front door. The pair was immediately greeted by Pally who seemed more excited and energetic than usual.

  “Pally, this is Rachel. She is going to be staying with us.”

  Rachel had never had a pet before but knew to put her hand out to greet Pally who gently licked her palm. I hope you like my dog.

  “Well this is home,” Emmitt declared as he proudly raised his hands in the air. “I hope you will enjoy it. There is tea to be made in the kitchen. It’s the one thing I make decently myself. Would you like a cup?”

  “That would be lovely,” Rachel said as she suddenly realized that she was very, very thirsty.

  “Make yourself at home Rachel. We have so much to discuss,” Emmitt said with a smile as he walked away into the kitchen.


  Rachel smiled back and began looking all over the room. Taking a moment to notice the smell of the house, the perfect arrangement of the furniture, the pictures on the wall and on the mantle. Her gaze focused on the mantle and she became fixated on a framed photograph of a woman, quite beautiful indeed, and wondered whom it might be.

  “Please have a seat. You must be exhausted from your travels,” Emmitt said as he suddenly appeared in the room, laying two full teacups down on the coffee table that separated them.

  “I suppose Rachel that it is my turn to talk. I want to make this as smooth of a transition as possible for the both of us.”

  “Of course,” Rachel responded, not yet knowing what exactly he meant by this.

  “There is a bedroom down the hall that you will stay in for… It is a fine room. I would like greatly to get to know you Rachel.”

  “I look forward to getting to know you as well Mr. Townshend.”

  Rachel became overwhelmed with confusion. She had never had her own bedroom before and she certainly wasn’t expecting to have one on her wedding night.

  “Well it is getting quite late. Let me show you to your room.”

  As Rachel lay awake in bed that night – a smallish one that reminded her of those designated for the younger ones in the orphanage – she could not help but wonder whom this room had been meant for. She was relieved to not be so close to Emmitt yet. Husband or not, they only met that day. She was quite happy to start things off slowly. But her room seemed odd to her. Not many men have an unoccupied furnished bedroom, painted pink no less. And who is the woman in that photograph?

  ***

  December 2, 1886

  Rachel awoke the next morning to a mild whispering from down the hall. Always the inquisitive one, she tiptoed down the hall listening more intently as she came to see Emmitt speaking directly to the picture of the mystery woman on the mantle.

  Over breakfast that morning, cooked by Emmitt, Rachel informed him that she would be happy to take over the cooking from now on. She felt it was the least she could do after seeing the vast farmland that he was to tend to daily.

  “Did you sleep well?” Emmitt asked.

  “Oh yes. I quite like my room, and the rest of the house is lovely as well. However, I feel I must ask you something. What makes you certain that you would enjoy having me as your wife? Surely there are other women from around here whom you would take a liking to.”

  The questions were blunt and completely unexpected by Emmitt. He had answers but was unprepared in this moment to have such a discussion. It was only breakfast time and they still had not yet known each other for a full day yet.

  “Well… How can I explain?” he wondered aloud.

  Rachel could sense his unease and immediately regretted bombarding him with these questions so early in the morning. Not everyone is ready to be as honest as I am.

  “I don’t mean to make you feel as though you owe me an explanation Mr. Townshend. It’s just that we only agreed on so much with my coming here and…”

  “Rachel,” Emmitt interrupted. “I want to be married. It is true that there are many nice women in this town, most of whom I grew up with and watched as many of them married the men I grew up with. I responded to your desire to find someone away from where you were. I need to be here in this town, but I wanted to find a wife that would not remind me of the girls in this town.”

  “Am I really that different from the women in this town or the woman in that picture?” she asked.

  “I don’t know what to say,” he moaned. He had not told her about Margaret and naively hoped that it would not have come up so soon.

  “Well Mr. Townshend…”

  “Please call me Emmitt.”

  “Well Emmitt, I think we both know what we have been looking for though I am unsure if we have found it.”

  A sudden lump in Emmitt’s throat threatened to choke him.

  “Oh, I see,” he croaked.

  “I am here for as long as you will have me. I will be the wife you desire to have on your arm at gatherings and church. But there is one thing I must tell you.”

  “And what is that?” he asked.

  “I do not believe in love.”

  Rachel took a deep breath before going on to explain. “So you must understand that while I am prepared to be your wife, live here with you in this house and share in your life, I cannot say that I am in love with you for I am not. You are a kind man I am sure but I am not going to fall in love with you.”

  The lump in Emmitt’s throat was swelling and he could feel tears forming in his eyes. He nodded, excusing himself from the table with as much of a smile that he could muster. He made his way into his bedroom, closed the door behind him and collapsed to his knees.

  Oh my God, what have I done? How could I have been so foolish? The mail-order bride shows up and she doesn’t believe in love. One would assume that a woman who presents herself as a mail-order bride would at least want to be in a marriage where love was a possibility.

  ***

  December 13

  In the days that passed Emmitt and Rachel began a routine. They ate meals and drank tea together. They played card games and told each other stories about their lives. The sting of Rachel’s proclamation had dulled and Emmitt found that he became more comfortable with his lowered expectations. He felt that, despite his undeniable attraction to her, he was developing a strong bond of friendship with Rachel. She had even taken it on herself to sort through his clothes, discarding anything she thought too worn out.

  On her second day at the house Rachel had agreed to attend the township’s annual Winter Party with Emmitt. Never one to go back on her word, she fully intended to be good company and present herself at her best for Emmitt’s sake. This was to be the first time she would meet his friends, with the exception of the priest and the lawyer. It would also be the first time Emmitt’s friends would hear about his having a new wife.

  Rachel had now been at the house for nearly two weeks and despite the lack of romance between her and Emmitt, she too had learned to appreciate his company. At times she found herself missing him as she tended to the house chores while he was working away on the farm.

  The Winter Party it turns out was the biggest event of the year in town featuring dinner, dancing, and games for the children. Again, Rachel felt completely foreign in this setting. It seemed to her that she was the only person being introduced to anyone and that everyone else seemed to know everyone there. I guess this is what a small town is like.

  “You’re here with Emmitt right?” asked a pretty blonde woman about Rachel’s age.

  “Yes I am. My name is Rachelle”

  “Nice to meet you Rachelle. My name is Catherine. I’ve known Emmitt since he was only four feet tall,” she laughed.

  “Oh my. Tell me Catherine, was Emmitt as kind to girls then as he is now?”

  Rachel was planning to find out as much as she could about her husband tonight. He often spoke of the people about town and told fond stories of growing up with this one and that one. She assumed she might discover something new about Emmitt from this Catherine.

  “Well he used to tease me and pull my hair,” Catherine explained between sips of her drink. “My mother told me it was because he liked me but everyone knew he only had eyes for Margaret. Even when they were just children.”

  “Oh really? Who is Margaret? Is she here?” Rachel was excited thinking this Margaret could really shed some light on the man Emmitt came to be.

  “Oh no, you haven’t heard?” asked Catherine.

  “Heard what?”

  Rachel could see the blood rushing to Catherine’s face as her eyes began to well up. Catherine’s eyes darted around the room looking for help and to see where Emmitt was at the moment. He was playing a game that involved throwing snowballs at icicles.

  “Could Margaret not make it to the party here tonight?” Rachel asked.

  Catherine figured there was no way out of this and took a deep breath
before saying, “She died over a year ago.”

  “Oh no. That is awful,” Rachel responded. “Did she have a husband or children?”

  It pained Catherine to say it but the words rushed out of her mouth like a crashing wave.

  “Margaret was Emmitt’s wife.”

  ***

  December 14

  Rachel spent the rest of the previous night piecing together the pieces to the puzzle. Her husband had been married and widowed. The woman on the mantle was Margaret. He then took to ordering a mail-order bride that would be unlike his late wife and be unlike any of the women in this town.