[2016] Widowed and Pregnant

by Christian Michael

  Some women would find this deceitful, she thought.

  Luckily for Emmitt, Rachel saw herself as unique among women and in light of this information she felt that she understood him in a new way. She had already found him to be kind and charming, but to find out about this pain and his desire to escape it through her, she felt needed, wanted and loved.

  How could I deny giving this man the love that he wants to give me? I care for him deeply and want to be with him as a wife. Is that not what it means to be in love?

  Over dinner that night Rachel was compelled to tell Emmitt something she had not told anyone before.

  “Emmitt, I have something I need to tell you. I have never felt this way about another person before. It is not something I understand really.”

  “What are you saying Rachel?”

  “I’m trying to say that I think I… I would be pleased to call you my husband”

  “To call me your husband… Is that to say that you would be pleased to be my wife by title and for appearance?” Emmitt asked. He was assuming that this was an attempt of Rachel to put even more of a distance between them romantically. They still had their separate rooms and had not shared any physical affection with one another since their brief kiss after being pronounced husband and wife.

  “I feel that I have been guided here by God,” she began. Her voice was shaky but she continued to speak. “I think that God brought us together for a purpose. For the purpose of us falling in love together, over time, and fulfilling each other’s lives.”

  Emmitt choked back a lump in his throat. Pally sat up from under the table as if he was anxiously anticipating big news.

  “I have never been in a place like this and I have never met a man like you before in my life. You are everything I could ask for and more.” Rachel became emotional and started to lightly weep.

  Emmitt stood up suddenly, and he was unsure of why himself. He was overjoyed and could only think to put his right hand over his heart before declaring his own feelings to Rachel.

  “If this is true and you now feel you could love me…” he paused “Love me the way a wife should love her husband. Then I intend to win your heart deservedly from this day forward.”

  Rachel was breathless and felt a rush of blood run to her head. She thought she could literally feel her heart expanding and filling with love.

  “Rachel, I will devote all of my efforts to winning your affection throughout our marriage as I would have if it were the beginning of a traditional courtship.”

  Rachel stood up took two steps forward around the table, her elbows bent outwardly and fingers entangling each other, towards Emmitt as if she were about to explain more. Before she could say anything Emmitt too stepped forward until their faces were inches away from one another. Looking each other in the eye, Rachel inhaled softly as Emmitt leaned in and kissed her lips. Though it was only for a moment, time stood still for these lovebirds. For that moment all the built up tensions disappeared and Rachel immediately thought I am home.

  ***

  December 15

  Sweat dripped down has forehead faster than the tears trailing down his cheeks. He was burning up one minute and shivering as his bones felt like ice the next minute. His heart raced, his muscles ached, and the room was spinning faster than his mind was racing.

  Oh God, what is happening to me? Why now?

  “Are there any more blankets that I can get for you?” Rachel asked trying to hide the panic in her voice. She been up nearly all of the night before taking care of Emmitt as he became ill with what he initially said felt like the flu.

  The only audible sound that Emmitt could make at the moment was a pained heavy breath. Pally laid at the foot of the bed softly whimpering as if to remind Rachel that she needed to be nursing Emmitt back to health. I’m trying Pally, she thought to herself.

  Fearing that every moment was bringing him closer to death, Emmitt found himself thinking of his late wife and hoped that she had not suffered in her final moments. He thought of his parents’ final days of old age before each of them passed on. He thought of his sister and her children. He knew that Angela was being taken care of properly by her loving husband.

  “I’ve brought you some tea,” Rachel whispered as she placed it on the nightstand next to his bed.

  Suddenly the room became still and Emmitt’s eyes became focused clearly on Rachel. I would have loved the chance to make her a happy wife and raise a family of our own, he thought to himself.

  “Ra… Rachel.”

  “What is it dear? What can I do?”

  “I need to… see my… sister.”

  “Where can I find her?”

  “My neighbor,” gasped Emmitt. “He can send a… a message.”

  Rachel rushed on foot to the neighbor’s house following the glow of a lantern coming from its window. She quickly explained Emmitt’s request the man who answered the door. He assured her he would be contact them right away and tell them the urgency of the matter. Rachel had never felt such urgency before. She had never had so much fear for a loved one, or even someone she would refer to as a loved one for that matter.

  Please God, let his sister arrive soon to help nurse him to health. I cannot bear to lose him. Not now.

  ***

  December 16

  There was a knock at the door bright and early in the morning. Rachel opened it to find a familiar looking older woman, much older than Emmitt, with a look of surprise on her face. It took her a moment but Rachel realized that this woman standing before was the same woman that she spoke to on the train a few weeks ago.

  “Hello, I am Angela Brown, and I am here to see my brother Emmitt Townshend,”

  “It is nice to meet you. I am Rachel. Please come in.”

  Angela stepped in, took off her coat and immediately handed it to Rachel to hang up on the wall. Having married up into a wealthy family, Angela was used to being catered to by servants and had grown accustomed to making assumptions about whose role it was to serve her.

  “Are you the new maid my dear?” asked Angela in a sweet voice. She did not intend to be demeaning in any way. It just came naturally.

  Rachel was so taken aback by this question that she briefly wondered, am I the maid? Surely she had taken up some duties around the house, which if Emmitt’s fortunes were to increase, could be left to a maid. But this was not the main purpose for bringing her here. In fact, he probably could afford to have a maid, come to think of it, if he chose to. Rachel quickly regained her composure though to answer Angela honestly.

  “Oh no, I am not the maid” she said smilingly.

  Angela felt slightly embarrassed by her assumption but immediately became suspicious of the young woman who opens the door to greet visitors in her baby brother’s house. Angela prided herself on being a real socialite around town and was friendly with all of the largest families and business owners. It had been years since she met a stranger here before.

  “You look familiar dear,” said Angela. This was not entirely true but she assumed she must have met this girl at some point before and wanted to be reminded of whom exactly she was.

  “We spoke on the train the other day,” said Rachel.

  “Why yes of course. I remember you now. I apologize, my mind has been so worried about Emmitt.” Angela remembered the conversation very well but not the girl’s face so much. “And how do you know my baby brother?”

  Rachel braced herself, for whatever reaction she would receive she felt unprepared to be as open about this marriage yet. To be honest about it with such a stranger that was now technically her own family felt strange and unnatural to her. It was unlike her to feel the need to be private or secretive but she chalked it up to the changes that happen when you fall in love with someone.

  “Well, I am his wife,” she said.

  A look of shock and disbelief graced Angela’s face. Surely her baby brother would never marry such a young girl without informing his family. Certainly not a trollop like this, she
thought. She would deal with this later, for right now she knew that Emmitt was in need of his sister’s help.

  ***

  December 23

  A week passed before Emmitt recovered from his fever. The doctor who came could not diagnose the particular illness or the cause of it. The delirium was what frightened his sister and Rachel the most. At times he would call out desperately to Margaret.

  “Margaret, where are you? Please come back.”

  During these moments Rachel would catch Angela staring at the picture on the mantle. These were the only times Angela appeared to be overwhelmed with emotion during her stay. Rachel could tell Angela was obviously very fond of Margaret. More fond of her than she ever will be of me, she thought.

  However, with round the clock care from his sister and his new wife, Emmitt was recovering at a good pace. The doctor said that his progress was very encouraging and all hopes were being placed on his health returning in full before Christmas. This news filled the house with feelings of hope and Pally now took to sleeping on the porch during the day as he did before Emmitt became ill.

  Emmitt was now able to have conversations with both Rachel and Angela without falling asleep or slipping into a feverish dream. Still though, he was not quite himself. He had been frightened that he would die and he was not convinced that he was out of the woods quite yet.

  “I am so grateful that you have been here to care for me Rachel. I am sorry if I have been a burden to you,” he said half exhausted.

  “Hush Emmitt. What is a wife for if not to be with you in sickness and in health?” Rachel said with an honest smile.

  “Has my sister been as kind to you as she has to me?” he asked.

  “Oh yes she certainly has. I’m afraid we haven’t had much of a chance to talk about anything other than you though. She has been so worried about you and your condition Emmitt.” Rachel held out both of her hands to hold his before adding, “as have I.”

  “In time you will get to know each other surely,” he said. “You are family now after all.”

  Rachel sensed that Angela disapproved greatly of their marriage and even her presence in the house. Still maintaining her pride as an excellent judge of character, Rachel assumed that Angela was just being protective of her baby brother. As she should be with all that he has gone through, she thought. She knew it would take time for Emmitt to regain his strength and it would take time for Angela to come around and trust that their marriage was going to bring Emmitt much happiness. She had the patience to see this through.

  “How wonderful to have a family,” Rachel said before planting a gentle kiss on her husband’s forehead.

  ***

  December 24

  Angela entered her brother’s room early the next morning to bring him a breakfast she had prepared. She was also fully dressed, including her coat, as she brought in a heaping plate of bacon, eggs and toast. She looked as if she was on her way out into town.

  “Oh Emmitt, my dear brother. What have you gotten yourself into?”

  Angela sat on the bed next to Emmitt as he began devouring the breakfast she had prepared for him. His appetite had returned to a state of near insatiable hunger as of yesterday and that was a tremendous relief to everyone. A full belly would help him regain his strength.

  “Whatever do you mean?” asked Emmitt with butter from the toast dripping down his chin.

  “That woman who calls herself your wife,” said Angela. “Where did you find her? Why am I, your sister, only finding out about her when you are near death?”

  Emmitt felt embarrassed by his sister’s chastising of him. He had not intended to keep it a secret but felt no need to share the fact that his wife married him without loving him initially. He did not know whether he would have woken up on any given morning a few weeks back to find Rachel gone, leaving him and Pally behind.

  “Angela, I have been so lonely since…” he stopped himself. His feelings were too much for him to explain. “I believe that Margaret would want me to remarry and be happy again.”

  “That doesn’t answer my question,” she said furiously. “Do you know that I met your new wife a few weeks back before you yourself even met her?”

  Emmitt was confused. He could tell by the tone of her voice that Angela was about to tell him something he may not want to hear. But what choice did he have? Angela was going to say whatever she felt she needed to say. She had a lack of subtlety and she was not going to let Emmitt’s illness stand in her way of telling what she believed he needed to hear.

  “That woman looked me straight in the eye and told me that she does not believe in love,” she began. “Do you know that she was raised in a city orphanage? What kind of manners do you think they teach children there? I love you dear brother and I do not want you to be lonely, but that woman is a stranger who is unfit to replace Margaret. A girl like Rachel is only after a man like you for your wealth.”

  “Angela, I’m not replacing Margaret,” Emmitt said. He was starting to get emotional and Angela could hear it in his voice. “Rachel is a wonderful girl who has stood by me through my suffering and all she has asked for in return is my love.”

  Angela stood up from the bed and made her way to the door before turning around to say, “mark my words Emmitt. That girl is from the gutter and will steal everything from you.” She paused, leaving an awkward silence in the air before laying the final blow. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself Emmitt Townshend. I’m sure that Margaret is rolling in her grave.”

  Emmitt sat there in silence, stunned, staring at his sister.

  Angela cleared her throat and wiped a tear from her eye. “I have to go now. I have been here long enough. My husband and children are expecting me for Christmas. We will be back to see you in the New Year. Merry Christmas Emmitt.”

  “Christmas?”

  “Yes Emmitt, it is Christmas eve.”

  Angela’s words haunted Emmitt that night as he tried desperately to forget the things she said. Am I trying to replace Margaret? Would she really be ashamed of me?

  He had been grieving long enough to know that these thoughts would pass just as the long nights do before the sunrise. The one thought that he could not stop from thinking had nothing to do with Margaret at all though. He could not stop himself from wondering about Rachel.

  Would Rachel really love me if I did not have this home, this farm, or any of the financial assets that I do? And what good are these things if I cannot share them with a wife who will love me?

  ***

  December 25

  Emmitt barely slept that night. He could not imagine going on with life without truelove to lean on in good times and bad. All he could think was, I need to escape it all.

  Rachel was planning to cook a full breakfast for Emmitt and herself on Christmas morning. She woke early and made her way from her pink room to the kitchen. She had gathered the bacon, eggs and sausages while the water boiled for tea. The note was left on the kitchen table for Rachel to see when she began to prepare breakfast that morning. She was unsure of what it was. Maybe a clue that will lead me to a surprise Christmas present, she thought. Her heart sank as soon as she read the first line.

  Rachel,

  I thank you for everything you have done for me these past weeks since you came into my life. You have been lovely and kind to me. I am leaving you this home and the farm because I have no desire to keep them. My possessions are keeping me from knowing if I could be loved without them.

  I will be travelling by train, to where I do not know. I must search to find a new place to call home, for I am unsure where my heart belongs here with you.

  Please ask one of my sisters to take care of Pally.

  Emmitt

  Rachel dropped the letter and ran to the barn faster than she had ever run in her life. She was still in her nightdress with nothing on her feet. The sun had yet to rise fully at this point in the morning. She intended to take one of the horses to the train station in an effort to find Emmitt before it w
as too late. She had no idea how to ride a horse properly, but that was a thought that had not even occurred to her at this point. All she knew for sure was that she had to get to the train station. Who knows if he has left yet or not?

  As she rushed into the barn she was alarmed to find Emmitt about to saddle one of the horses. She was immediately struck by the sadness in his eyes. His entire demeanor was different. He looked defeated, but Rachel still recognized the man she loved behind weakened physical appearance. It’s not too late, Rachel thought to herself.

  “Emmitt, wait please,” she shouted aloud, “take me with you.”

  Her shouting startled Emmitt but the sound of her voice woke him out of his sad hazy state. Hear she was, outside and barefoot on Christmas morning, showing concern for him. Still, he was skeptical of what he was hearing her say.