Just an Illusion, Side A: Side A

by D. Kelly

  “That’s amazing, Noah.”

  “It’s nothing. Family should always help family.”

  “And the biggest?” I prompt, anxiously awaiting his answer.

  “I guess the biggest thing I ever did for someone else was pretty meaningful, too. I saw a story on the news one day about a family whose insurance denied a heart transplant for their fifteen-year-old son. They had a huge fundraiser for him, and I donated a million dollars.”

  “Oh my God, Noah! That’s incredible, but that’s a lot of money.”

  He laughs softly. “Now, it’s a drop in the bucket, but back when I did it, I didn’t have nearly what I do now. But it didn’t matter. You shouldn’t be able to put a price on someone’s life. Even if I never earned another dime, I still had my health and I could still work. Money has never really mattered to me.”

  “I understand that. I’ve got more money in the bank than I know what to do with, but I don’t want any of it.”

  He shakes his head. “You’re doing good things with it, Mel. But I agree with your grandma. Your parents would have wanted you to have it, to never struggle, and to make sure you and your children have a good life someday. It’s all about balance. You can give it away and secure your future.”

  “So what, now you’re a financial planner?” I ask, hoping to lighten the mood.

  “Probably would have been if I didn’t tour with the band. I’ve always been cautious and prepared. I was probably the only thirteen-year-old I knew who had a retirement account.”

  “You didn’t.”

  He nods sheepishly. “I did,” he confirms, and I can’t stop laughing.

  We continued to chat about random things over lunch, and then he called Ryan to follow us down into the casino.

  “I’ve got to stop at the ATM,” I tell him as I grab my purse.

  “Uh-uh. Today is my treat,” he states firmly.

  “Noah, I don’t spend money on much, but I love to gamble. I can easily drop a few grand in a matter of hours. That’s not something I’m putting on you.”

  “I can afford it.”

  “That’s not the point,” I protest.

  “How about you let me pay, and if you win, you can pay me back?” he asks with a smile.

  “How about I pay and you pay me back if you win?” I toss back at him.

  He reaches around my waist and pulls me to him. “You are frustrating, and if I wasn’t secure in my manhood, I’d go as far as to say emasculating. Do you know how many women have ever offered to pay for anything?”

  “Probably none, but the sooner you learn I’m not every woman, the better. You pay for you, and I’ll pay for me. Then, tonight I’ll put on a sexy dress and let you buy me dinner. Deal?”

  He releases a frustrated sigh, but the twinkle in his eyes betrays him. He’s irritated and happy at the same time.

  “Deal,” he concedes.

  “Good, let’s go!” I take his hand and pull him out of the room. He’s laughing behind me, but I can’t help it; Vegas is fun.

  “What do you play?” I ask him as the elevator takes us down to the casino.

  “Poker, usually. Sometimes video poker or roulette. When I’m feeling adventurous, I might try the craps table, but I’m not very good at it.”

  “Okay, so let’s start with a drink and some video poker and work our way up to adventurous. How does that sound?” I ask, taking his hand in mine and leading him off the elevator. Ryan follows us, and I inhale deeply as I lead Noah to the ATM. Las Vegas has the most ridiculous stench of cigarettes, cigars, alcohol, and desperation in the casinos, but I love it. It’s part of the experience, and for whatever reason, it makes me happy.

  Noah uses the ATM first and turns to me before punching in his code. “Are you sure I can’t sway you into letting me pay?”

  “I’m positive. I like paying my own way, Noah. It’s just who I am. You need to accept that if you want to make this work.”

  With a shake of his head, he turns around and makes his withdrawal. I make sure to look the other way as to not invade his privacy.

  “Your turn,” he says as he moves to the side. After making my withdrawal, Noah leads me to the closest bar. After we’re both seated, Ryan stations himself about three feet behind our barstools—close enough to intercept a fan but far enough away to let us talk with a semblance of aloneness.

  While the bartender is taking my order, Noah quickly slides a twenty into my machine. “Noah!” He raises his hands in mock surrender and leans over, placing a quick kiss against my lips.

  “For luck,” he answers huskily against my lips.

  Hell, how can I argue with that?

  “Thank you,” I reply gracefully, and his answering smile is worth letting him have his way. The two of us talk easily, transitioning from one topic to the next.

  “Come on, baby,” I say as I hit max bet and wait for the cards to flip. Noah raises a brow at me, and I squeal as four aces pop up on the draw. I save the aces and hit draw again and receive a King as a high card.

  “That’s right. Come to mama!” I cry out as my available balance grows on the machine. Noah chuckles next to me and shakes his head. “What? I won!” He reaches for me and pulls me to him, parting my lips with his tongue. After he kisses me senseless, he pulls away from my mouth and leans his forehead against mine.

  “I’ve never seen anyone talk to their machine before. It must be lucky.”

  “Just wait until I have a few more drinks. I talk to them like they’re my best friends. But that’s not why I won. I’m pretty sure that was all on you and your lucky money.”

  He brushes my hair back and cups my cheek. “I’m pretty sure it’s the two of us, Mel. We’re incredible together, and the universe knows it.”

  My heart flutters, and I suddenly need air. “What do you want to do now?” I ask him, hoping we can go straight to the room and ease this ache between my legs.

  “Anticipation is a wonderful thing, Mel. How about we hit the poker tables?”

  I nod and hop off my barstool, pressing the button to collect my ticket. There’s a woman on the other side of the bar eyeing us suspiciously, and I’ve got a feeling Ryan is going to be dealing with her very soon.

  There’s only one open spot at the poker table, but I’m not great at real poker anyway, so I tell Noah to take it and I sit one table over and buy in for some blackjack instead. I play a few hands against the dealer and then let him know I’m going to wait a few minutes to see if any more players show up. It’s not fun playing alone, and I’m honestly too busy watching Noah to want to play.

  As Noah is dealt his cards, he takes a quick look and places his bet. His table is full and no one recognizes him. He’s dressed casually in dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. The colorful ink on his arms is set off against his shirt and the casino lighting. He’s incredibly sexy, and I wish the casino was empty so I could straddle him at the table and ride him until we both tremble with exhaustion. He peeks up at me and winks, and even though it’s the sexiest fucking wink in the world, I decide I’ve ogled him enough and have the dealer go ahead and deal me in again.

  Ryan is trying to stay in between me and Noah. I’m pretty sure Noah told him to stay close to me, even though I’m not the one who needs him. And when the dark-haired girl from the bar and her friend come up and tap Noah on the shoulder, Ryan steps into action.

  Noah holds up his hand, probably trying to diffuse the situation himself, and folds out of his game. We’re less than three feet apart, and since I know how fans can get, I refrain from betting another hand. Instead, I tip the dealer so he knows I’m done for good.

  “I told you it was him!” she squeals to her friend, and Noah flashes her his fan smile—the one that melts panties worldwide but never touches his eyes. I don’t think many people would ever pick up on it, but my dad had the same smile for his fans.

  “Hello, ladies,” Noah greets them kindly.

  “We’re going to
be at your show tomorrow,” the dark-haired girl’s friend tells him as she bounces up and down excitedly, giving him the perfect view of her fake, bouncing tits. Ugh. I will admit this is intriguing to watch. I’ve avoided the VIP meet and greets so far just to be able to focus on them and not their fans. I wanted to wait until I had a handle on their personalities before integrating myself into those events. Mostly so I didn’t judge them unfairly while we were still getting to know each other.

  “Great, I hope you both enjoy it. I’m glad you were some of the lucky ones to get tickets.”

  “We’re here alone,” the one with the dark hair tells him. “Maybe we can take you out for a drink?” Oh, she is a bold one, isn’t she? Is it wrong that part of me is really eager to see how he handles this?

  “I’m sorry, ladies, no can do. Have a great day,” Noah answers firmly and stands. He tips his dealer and pockets his chips. She isn’t ready to take no for an answer, though. Instead, she slips her arm through his and tilts her head up to him, giving him the ultimate pouty face.

  Ryan jumps into action as soon as she links her arm.

  “Release Mr. Weston, NOW.” His tone is commanding and firm. Her friend stands back, looking embarrassed, but this bitch isn’t letting up.

  “Oh, he doesn’t mind. This is all part of the game. He plays hard to get, and I convince him I’m worth it,” she replies, pushing her chest up onto his. Part of me wants to do something, and part of me is enjoying seeing how Noah handles his fans.

  Ryan looks to Noah for guidance, and Noah nods subtly. Ryan pries Noah’s arm away from hers carefully and professionally. Noah moves closer to me without ever taking his eyes off of the demented woman. His arm wraps around my waist, and I stand up, allowing myself to be pulled into his firm grasp.

  “You’re picking her?” she squeals incredulously.

  “My girlfriend,” Noah counters proudly. “Yes, every single time I will pick her. No doesn’t just mean no when a woman says it to a man. It also means no when a man says it to a woman. You’d do yourself a favor to remember that. Have a nice day, ladies.”

  Her friend snickers and shakes her head, clearly enjoying that her overly anxious friend just got told off. Ryan keeps close to us as Noah wordlessly moves us toward the elevators. Once we’re safely inside, he pushes me up against the back wall, leaning his head against mine. Ryan faces forward, ignoring us. Or trying to.

  “I’m sorry, babe,” he whispers softly against my lips. I reach my hands up and wrap them around his neck.

  “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I know how this goes, and to be honest, we got to hang out down there longer than I thought we would. Besides,” I whisper conspiratorially, “I’m more excited to start getting ready for our date tonight.”

  He groans and pushes his hardness against me. “Me, too,” he answers with his eyelids fluttering. The elevator door opens, and Ryan checks up and down the hall.

  “The hall is clear, Mr. Weston. I’m going to check out the room and give it the all clear.”

  “Sure thing, Ryan,” Noah tells him, keeping me pinned against the wall. But when we hear a girl screaming at Ryan, Noah releases me as we both exit the elevator to see what the commotion is about.

  “He’ll want to see me,” the woman’s voice travels outside of the room.

  “Highly doubtful,” Ryan says dryly as he pulls her outside of our suite. The woman is gorgeous with her long, flowing, red hair, legs for days on end, perky, full tits that bounce like mother nature intended—there’s nothing surgically enhanced there. Lucky bitch. She’s wearing knee-high black boots, dark blue skinny jeans, and a light pink V-neck sweater. I’d almost consider playing for the other team for a shot at her.

  “Sara? What are you doing here?” Noah asks, stalking toward her. His expression is fixed, and I can’t tell if he’s happy to see her or pissed.

  “I wanted to see you. I’m here for your show this weekend and thought I’d come by and say hi and see if we could talk.”

  Noah runs his hand through his hair and exhales loudly.

  “We don’t have anything to talk about,” he finally answers, her sadness at his reply evident.

  “Please, Noah, I miss you,” she pleads.

  He shakes his head in disbelief, and she finally looks past him and realizes he’s with someone. Based on the O her mouth just formed, she’s surprised but recovers quickly.

  “I thought you didn’t do the groupie thing.”

  Damn, she went from sweet to snarky pretty fast.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but I don’t. This is my girlfriend Amelia. Amelia, this is Sara, a long ago ex-girlfriend of mine.”

  “I hadn’t heard you were seeing anyone.”

  “We don’t exactly travel in the same circles anymore.”

  She laughs. “The media is your circle, Noah. You can’t do anything without someone documenting the moment.”

  “Well, now you know, and if you’ll excuse us, we have plans. I hope you have a nice stay, Sara. I wish I could say it was good to see you.”

  “You’re really not going to talk to me?” she asks emphatically.

  I squeeze his hand gently to get his attention and place a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’m going to go inside and let you work this out.”

  “You don’t have to go,” he says, and the look in his eyes is obviously pleading with me to stay, but I can’t.

  “I do,” I state firmly and walk inside, closing the door behind me so he realizes I’m really trying to give them the privacy they deserve. After pulling a big, bulky sweater from my bag, I walk over to the bar and mix myself a vodka and cranberry before going out onto the terrace and curling into one of the overstuffed chairs.

  The sun sets over the Vegas skyline, and all the casinos light up in its absence. It’s such a beautiful sight, and I wish I wasn’t alone to see it. My mind wanders to Noah and Sara and I can’t help wondering what went wrong in their relationship. Most men wouldn’t let a girl like her fade into the background. Then again, Noah has shown me time and time again he’s not most men.

  I try not to let myself dwell on the fact they have history. Or the fact she’s gorgeous, or the fact he could change his mind about us and decide to go back to her. Because even though I haven’t had sex with Noah, I’m slowly realizing it’s the last piece of myself I have left to give. He’s already stolen my heart, whether I want to admit it to myself or not.

  I’m not sure how much time has passed since I left them in the hall, but it’s dark outside by the time Noah pops his head out. I’m just about finished with my jumbo-sized drink and am feeling the warmth of the alcohol spreading through me.

  “Jesus, Mel,” Noah says as he squeezes in next to me. “It’s freezing out here.” He pulls me close and rubs my arms.

  “I’m fine,” I assure him and hold up my drink.

  “Great,” he mutters. “Now I’m driving you to drink. Could this night get any worse?”

  “That depends …”

  He lifts me up and pulls me into his lap, making both of us a little more comfortable in this chair. “On what?” he asks, pushing my hair aside and placing soft kisses against my neck.

  “Are you leaving me for her?” I ask boldly and unashamedly. I’m not going to wait and wallow in what ifs.

  “God no,” he whispers, picking up the intensity of his kisses along my neck, moving to the front of my throat. I move my head back onto his shoulder, giving him easier access.

  “Are you sure? Because I wouldn’t blame you. She’s beautiful.”

  Pulling my head so I’m facing him, his eyes lock onto mine in a firm hold. “Only on the outside. Her beauty is only skin deep, and I don’t want that kind of person in my life. She’s malicious, though, and I can guarantee you our relationship is about to be blown wide open for the world to know about it.”

  “It was bound to happen,” I whisper, never breaking our intense gaze.

  “Amelia,
you’re breathtaking. Your beauty far surpasses hers, both physically and internally. I’ve never in my life wanted someone as much as I want you.”

  “Oh.” One single, disappointed-sounding word falls from my lips at his confession. It’s not that I am disappointed; on the contrary, I’m elated.

  “Don’t sound so excited,” he says with a slight chuckle.

  “It’s not that. I’m just surprised, is all.”

  “Why?” he asks, intrigued.

  With a shrug of my shoulders, I finally break our gaze and lean back against his shoulder. “Because sometimes the past wins and sometimes we shouldn’t stop it. I know I’m being superficial and extremely self-depreciating, but she is gorgeous, Noah, and she did come all this way to see you. I guess I didn’t expect you to put me above her.”

  His arms wrap tightly around my waist, and we both stare straight forward at The Strip. After a few moments of silence, he begins talking.

  “I thought tonight would go so differently. I still want it to, but I want to tell you a few things first. I was going to talk to you about this anyway, but I think now it’s more important than ever to talk.”

  “Okay,” I whisper as my heart begins to race.

  “The first time I saw you was when you were heading toward the greenroom at The Greek. There was a twinkle in your eye, and I couldn’t place it then, but after learning about your parents, I think I figured it out. You felt like yourself again. You felt like you were home. It’s probably why you told Sawyer off because your filter was down. All your defenses were.”

  Wow. He completely nailed it. “Go on,” I whisper softly.

  “That night, on the beach, I wanted to know you. I wanted to know you in a way I’d never wanted to get to know someone before. You were mesmerized by the shine of the moon on top of the ocean waves, and I was mesmerized by you. I’m not sure I’d ever been happier about anything as I was when you said you’d join us on tour.”

  “Noah …”