Just an Illusion, Side A: Side A

by D. Kelly

  “Can I have some of that?”

  “Of course,” I reply, pouring her a glass.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  She most definitely is Noah’s sister. “You sound exactly like your brother. Ask away.” I hand her the drink. She sips it slowly and winces a bit before setting it down. I guess bourbon isn’t what most twenty-two-year-olds want to drink.

  “Do you love my brother?” Her words are rushed, and she gulps down more of her drink as if ashamed of asking.

  With a smile, I reply, “With my whole heart. He’s everything I never knew I was missing in my life.”

  “Oh good. Noah deserves every happiness, and he seems to have found that with you, but after his last few girlfriends I wasn’t sure. Well, I mean … it’s just I’m not in the habit of asking women how they feel about my brothers.”

  “You should be. They’d protect you in a heartbeat. It’s only fair you have the opportunity to protect them.”

  “That’s why I don’t bring just any guy around. I’ll wait until I find someone serious before subjecting them to that interrogation. Can you imagine? Not only will they have to put up with my dad, Noah, and Sawyer, but Rob, Wyatt, and Darren, too. Whoever I end up with better have the patience of a saint.”

  “Hold that thought for about two minutes so I can use the restroom. I’ll be right back.” Rory laughs at me as I rush out of the room, but it’s her fault I had to go so bad. I’m back in a flash, and she’s snacking on homemade chocolate chip cookies when I return.

  “Where did those come from?” I ask, snatching one up out of the tin. I moan in ecstasy with my first bite. “They’re so good!”

  She nods as she chews. “My mom made them. She’s the best baker around. She hid these, but it’s like she hides them in plain sight because she knows we’re going to look for them and then, like magic, a zillion more of them will appear out of thin air tomorrow. She’s pretty awesome.”

  I snatch another cookie and eat it while sipping bourbon. It would probably taste better with milk, but that’s not in the cards tonight. “Alright, back to the overprotective men in your life. I think one thing you should consider is they’ve all been around. They have a good sense of what a good man is. I swear, Rory, they’ve got amazing bullshit radar. If you can get their seal of approval, you’ll have a keeper. And if they weed the frogs out, all the better for you.”

  She giggles, and I keep rambling. “I mean, think about it. If you could just stick Joe Schmoe in front of all your brothers and say ‘here, let me know if he’s worth the effort,’ it would save you so much freaking time and heartache.”

  Rory is in full-on laughter mode now and pushes her tumbler out to me for a refill. “God, Mel, you’re right. Maybe I should let them vet all my dates from now on because some of the men in college were real assholes.”

  “Bring ‘em on, Ror. I’ll vet all those fuckers for you.” Sawyer walks in and his eyes grow wide. “Mom’s cookies? Were you seriously hiding those from me?”

  “Does it look like I’m hiding them? I’m pretty sure I’m sharing them with Mel in plain sight, ding dong.” She slides the tin across the counter, and Sawyer literally hugs them to his chest.

  “Co-dependent on cookies?” I ask, amused.

  “These things are life. I’d give up Pop-Tarts if I could have an endless supply of these cookies.”

  “That’s pretty hardcore.”

  He nods enthusiastically with his mouth full. “You’ve got no idea.” He pulls out the milk, pouring a glass to go with the chocolaty goodness.

  “Where’s Noah?”

  “He’s talking to our parents in the garage. Everyone else went to bed a little while ago. I think Belle was tired because she fell asleep on Darren’s shoulder listening to the music. It wasn’t on low, either. She must have been exhausted.”

  “Poor thing. I know this week has been hard on her. I’m hoping she’ll feel better soon.” As the words come out of my mouth, I realize how hard this pregnancy is going to be on her. Belle is usually the life of the party; falling asleep early isn’t going to make her happy.

  “So Belle is your best friend?” Rory clarifies.

  “Yes, but we grew up together. She really is more like a sister than anything.”

  “Rory’s jealous because she’s got a huge crush on Darren,” Sawyer says, and Rory’s face falls.

  “I’m not jealous. I’m happy for them. Childhood crushes have no place in the grownup world, and if you think I was under any illusion you would allow me to date someone in your band, you don’t give me any credit at all,” she fires back.

  “Hell no, we wouldn’t. I love Darren and Wyatt like my brothers, and if either of them had made a move on either of my sisters, I would have thrown them off the bus while we were flying down the highway, and they know it, too.”

  Sawyer shoots her a look, daring her to argue, but she just brushes it off. She definitely doesn’t act like someone who’s infatuated with a man who’s about to have a baby with someone else. Voices trail in from the garage, becoming louder with each step.

  “You found the cookies!” Karen scolds good-naturedly, and Noah reaches over Sawyer’s shoulder to grab a few.

  “Jerk,” Sawyer scolds.

  “Hog,” Noah tosses back as their parents look on, smiling.

  “It doesn’t matter how old your children get, whenever they’re together, they fight like kids,” she says wistfully.

  Noah wraps his arms around me from behind after he wolfs down his cookies. His parents won’t stop grinning at us. It’s weird.

  “Mel loves you, Noah,” Rory states proudly, bringing all eyes on her.

  “I could have told you that.” Noah squeezes me tighter. “What, did you give her the sisterly drill?” She blushes and nods in affirmation. “Glad to see you’re not slacking on your sisterly duties.” He places a kiss on the top of my head.

  I feel a yawn coming on and cover my mouth quickly to stifle it, but it’s no use. As soon as I yawn, everyone is yawning.

  “Ready for bed?” Noah asks, and I nod.

  “We’re about to hit the hay, too. I’ve got to be up early to get all the food in the oven,” Karen tells us.

  “Do you need help?” I ask, not wanting her to have to do it all alone.

  “That’s sweet of you to offer, but you sleep in. I love cooking in the morning. I’m sure I’ll take you up on your help in the afternoon, and I’m dying to taste those potatoes. They smell absolutely divine.”

  She’s such a sweet woman. It shouldn’t surprise me, but somehow it does. Noah and I say our goodnights and make our way to the bedroom, the conversation I overheard earlier temporarily forgotten as we make love before going to sleep.

  As I’m drifting off to sleep, one very important thought comes to mind. It really doesn’t matter how Sawyer feels about me because I’m head over heels in love with Noah. Eventually, Sawyer will get over it.

  Thanksgiving

  Thanksgiving starts off rough.

  Really rough.

  Between our sexcapades and my drinking, I was so exhausted last night I actually slept in with Noah today. It’s nice waking up with him, feeling his fingers tracing my skin and his kisses on my lips. I should sleep in more often.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he whispers.

  “Good morning, sexy,” I whisper back, allowing myself to get lost in his eyes.

  “Do you know what I’m thankful for?” I shake my head, hoping he doesn’t ask me what I’m thankful for because I’m pretty bad at verbally expressing my feelings. Especially before coffee.

  “You. Every single day, I thank my lucky stars that fate brought us together.”

  My eyes begin to fill with tears, but someone banging loudly on the door interrupts our moment.

  “Noah! You need to get out here now!”

  Sawyer’s tone is frantic, and we both rush out of bed, hastily getting dressed. When Noah throws open
the door, Sawyer snaps, “Kitchen now,” before stalking off.

  As we enter the kitchen, everyone is crowded around the table, where a crazy-beautiful display of flowers sits. It’s psychedelic looking; there’s got to be one flower each of about fifty or more different varieties and colors in a vase. Next to the vase is a note, open and laid flat on the table.

  “Don’t touch it,” Warren cautions. “Just read it.”

  Noah,

  Roses are red,

  Violets are blue,

  Thanksgiving is mine,

  Tell your whore toodle loo.

  Tremors of terror flood my body. Everyone looks at me sympathetically, and when I turn to Noah, his eyes are wide. Belle is suddenly by my side, holding my hand tightly and rubbing my shoulder.

  “That handwriting …” Noah says, turning to Warren, who nods in confirmation.

  “It’s Sara’s. We’ve already called the police, Noah.”

  When he turns back toward me, sadness floods his features as he pulls me close and hugs me. Tears are streaming down my cheeks unbidden. I don’t care what she tries with me, but I’m terrified for Noah. She’s bat shit crazy.

  “The cameras?” he asks over my shoulder while continuing to rub my back, whispering “shh” into my ears.

  “Got nothing. It was just a kid. She probably paid him to drop them off, but the police will look for him, I’m sure.”

  “Come on, Mel, let me take you to the bedroom while Noah talks to Warren,” Belle offers sweetly, and Noah concurs.

  “I’ll come check on you in a few minutes, I promise.”

  I walk numbly into the room trying to listen to the rapid-fire whispering going on behind me, but the further we walk down the hall, the harder it is to hear.

  “She’s crazy, Mel. Maybe you should take a break from the tour. I want you safe. I need you safe,” Belle pleads.

  “Absolutely not. I’m probably safer on that bus than anywhere. If I were here, I’d just be a sitting target or I’d be flanked with security all the time. But Noah, my God, Belle, what about Noah?” I’m almost hysterical, but this is all such bullshit.

  “He’ll be okay. They’ll catch her and put her away.”

  “Why today? What the hell makes Thanksgiving hers?”

  “It’s her birthday,” Rory whispers from the doorway.

  “Well, that explains that,” Belle replies dryly.

  More tears fall faster than I can wipe them away. Both Belle and Rory hug me—one from each side—and although having them with me is comforting, my sobs continue growing louder and louder.

  “I’ve got it from here. Thank you both for your help.” Noah’s voice is like sunshine to my soul. Using the back of my hand, I rapidly swipe at my cheeks after he closes our door behind Rory and Belle.

  Our room.

  In the span of a few days, I’ve gone from being apprehensive about moving too fast to wanting everything he’s willing to give me. Especially now.

  “Baby, it’s okay. Please don’t cry.” Noah lies down, pulling me into his arms.

  “I’m worried, Noah. She’s crazy and she’s going to hurt you.”

  “Shh …” he whispers, rubbing my back. “She’s not going to hurt either of us. We won’t let her.”

  “You can’t stop her!” I’m officially freaking out.

  “Mel, we have an entire security team who will move heaven and earth to stop her. If you thought Vegas was bad, you’ve got no idea. We’ll have no less than four guards around any of us at all times. The whole band is going to be covered.”

  “I can’t lose you, too, Noah. I can’t go through that again,” I choke out through a sob.

  “You’re worried about losing me, but I’m worried about losing you. When you’re not around, I struggle to breathe. You’re my air, Mel. I’d die without you. You have no idea how important you are to me, how much I adore you, how much I love you.”

  My arms are wrapped around him, clutching him to me, holding on for dear life. I won’t let this crazy bitch get to us.

  “I love you, too. So much. What now? What’s the next step?”

  On an exhale, he fills me in. “The police are on their way, along with my attorney. We’ve already compared her note to copies of other notes she’s left in the past, and they look like an exact match. Of course, the police will have to confirm that.”

  “They won’t be able to do anything. Her note was vague, there was no actual threat, but those flowers …”

  “I know. Those flowers are the creepiest things I’ve ever seen. So beautifully demented, just like her.” He presses his lips against my forehead and holds them there.

  “Does she have family? I mean, why today of all days? I know Rory said it was her birthday, but what specifically makes today hers as far as you’re concerned?”

  “She does have family, but I’ve never met them. In fact, the only thing I can even think of that would correlate to Thanksgiving is she spent it with us here not too long before I broke things off with her. She wanted to spend her birthday with me and that year, like today, it fell on Thanksgiving. I didn’t think much about it. I should have questioned why she didn’t want to spend Thanksgiving with her family, but I was relieved she didn’t ask me to go to her house because I didn’t want to lose what limited time I had with my own family.”

  “That’s understandable. What about your family? How did they get along?”

  He groans. “They didn’t. I mean, they were decent to her, but Sara kept bragging about all the things I’d bought for her and instead of it proving I loved her, or whatever point she was trying to get across, it just made her look …”

  “Like a gold digger,” I fill in with a slight laugh, remembering Saylor’s slip.

  “Exactly.”

  There’s a light knock at the door, and Karen sticks her head in with a soft smile. “Noah, the police are here, and so is your lawyer. Go on and deal with it. I’ll stay with Mel until she gets cleaned up.”

  He pulls my mouth to his and kisses me firmly. “Wash your face and come join us. There’s nothing you can’t hear, okay?”

  “Okay,” I answer as he jumps off the bed and kisses his mom on the cheek on his way out.

  “Sweetheart, are you okay?” She’s worried about me; the sentiment warms my heart.

  “I will be.”

  She nods at my words. “Yes, you will. Nobody messes with my family and gets away with it. Especially not some two-bit hussy.” Her words don’t warrant a reply; she’s made it abundantly clear she’s not a fan of Sara’s, either. I kind of love her for saying it, though. Needing to get rid of this headache, I go into the bathroom to look for some ibuprofen. She follows right behind me.

  After finding what I’m looking for and swallowing the pills, I proceed to brush my teeth. It’s only when my mouth is full of toothpaste that she speaks again.

  “I’m sure you’ve heard my boys don’t have the best track record with women.” Her eyes meet mine in the bathroom mirror and she continues, “When they told us they were taking a hot, new sex book author on tour with them, saying I was concerned is putting it mildly.”

  After spitting out my toothpaste, I correct her, “Romance. Romance author, not sex books.”

  “Yes,” she says with a hint of a smile. “So I’ve come to learn. I’ve read your book, Mel, you’re very talented. But as you well know, all good romances come with good sex.” Her sassy smirk brings a smile to my face.

  “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Thank you … for the compliment.”

  She continues while I work on wiping off yesterday’s makeup. “In any case, when Noah started talking about you incessantly, I knew he was hooked. And when Sawyer started talking about you often, I was scared of the past coming back to bite us. But then Darren and Wyatt started talking about you, and Anna, and Warren. Are you getting my drift?”

  “I’m not sure.” I turn around, forgoing any makeup for now.

  “I
t was then I realized you were different. You were making an impression on many of the people I love dearly. So I started listening harder, actually hearing what Noah was saying. When he told me you were his girlfriend, I knew he was already in love with you.”

  “Oh.”

  Yeah, that sounded dumb, but I really don’t know what to say to her right now.

  “As parents, you raise your kids to be everything they can possibly be. Letting them go is hard. My boys, as much as I love them, have put so much stress on me. I worry about them all the time. I’m sure that will never go away, but touring, performing, interviews … Well, you know as well as anyone what a toll that can take on a person.”

  “Unfortunately, all too well.” My voice is thick with emotion. I’ve been missing my parents lately. With the holiday and watching all of them with their families, I guess it’s getting to me. It’s why I was so nervous yesterday, why I drank so much. It was a way to cope with missing my own family while letting a new one into my heart.

  “But love, Amelia, that’s always been my biggest fear with their fame. I’ve hoped and prayed for them to be able to find someone who loves them for the men I raised them to be and not the men they are under the public eye.”

  “I don’t care about their fame. To be honest, I’m not even a fan of their music. Well, the new stuff is good, but the old stuff … To each his own, I guess.”

  She laughs a deep belly laugh and pulls me into a hug. It’s not as awkward as yesterday, but I’m still not quite there yet.

  “I heard you weren’t a fan. I’m pretty sure you shattered Sawyer’s ego.” She releases me from her hug, but her eyes are still fixed on me with an all-knowing mom look.

  “He got over it,” I answer softly, not wanting to talk about Sawyer.

  “Yes, I suppose he did. You’ve become a good friend to him. I want to thank you for that. Sawyer doesn’t have many friends … not real ones. But I’m getting off track. All I really wanted to say to you is thank you for loving my son.”

  “You approve?” Blinking back my tears, the raspy words fall from my lips, and she nods.

  “I needed to see it for myself. And if I had any doubts … Which I didn’t, by the way. After this morning, I know the love both of you feel is mutual, and that makes me happier than I’ve been in a long time.”