Xanth 30 - Stork Naked

by Piers Anthony

  The boy was always glad to fly. As a half-demon he could do it himself, but it clearly wasn't the same as riding a winged centaur.

  Stymy joined them as they circled upward into the dusky sky. "That was a diplomatic way to give the women privacy," the stork said.

  "Aw, who wants to peek anyway," Ted said, disappointed.

  Che did not comment. He was trying to let them bathe in peace, but that wasn't all of it. He had not wanted to let himself look at Surprise's bare body, lest he lose control. His desire for her was not fading, it was increasing. When she had ridden him across the patch of whackers he had feared his very fur was burning where her legs touched.

  They explored the area, and found no lurking monsters. In due course they returned to the camp, and found that the women had not only completed their bath, they had harvested and set up a nice meal for them all.

  It was a pleasant night, but Che still wasn't certain they were really in an alternate Xanth. He suspected that the others had similar doubts.

  A traveler passed by. She was Sarah, on her way to visit her grandmother. She seemed defenseless.

  "But aren't you afraid of monsters or bad people?" Che asked her.

  "Oh, no," Sarah said. "I can't be harmed by physical things. Only by words."

  The peeve spied her. "How you doing, frowzy?"

  Sarah flinched.

  "That's the pet peeve," Che explained quickly. "It insults everyone. There's really nothing personal about it."

  "Thank you," Sarah said. But she hastened away.

  Che considered saying something to the peeve, but realized it would be useless. The bird was incorrigible.

  In the morning, refreshed, they resumed travel. This time they made it without undue event. There was the Golem house.

  And there, as they watched from a distance, was Surprise, holding her baby. This was another reality.

  Suddenly Surprise was reticent. "She looks so satisfied," she said. "How can I take her baby from her?"

  Now was the time for firmness. "You and I must talk to her," Che said. "And Stymy must smell the baby. We have to know." He didn't say that the other Surprise was just as appealing to him as the one he was with. Curse that elixir!

  "Yes," she breathed, looking attractively weak-kneed.

  "But she is bound to be confused, at first. So perhaps it would be better if you conceal yourself somewhat, until the time is right."

  Surprise blinked, and abruptly her face was unfamiliar. "Like this?"

  "That will do nicely," he agreed. She looked like a different young woman though her figure was unchanged. He still wanted to hold her, because he knew her identity. The elixir had oriented him on her, not her appearance. He was learning a distressing amount about love elixir.

  They advanced on the house. The other Surprise spied them, and her mouth dropped open with amazement. "Che!" she exclaimed. "But who can your companions be?"

  "I have to make a rather strange statement," Che said. "I hope you will trust me to be telling you the truth."

  "You always tell the truth, Che. But I thought you were busy with some special project, and that it would be Cynthia who came to see my new baby boy." She held up the baby. "He was delivered just yesterday and I haven't named him yet. He was such a surprise, if I may use that term."

  "Yes," Che said. "First, I am not the Che you know."

  "Not? You certainly look and sound like him. Are you some demon emulating him?"

  "I am Che, but not the one you have encountered before. I am from another reality."

  Surprise Two was taken aback. "I don't think I understand."

  "That is natural. It is a highly confusing situation. There are many Xanths, each with similar people, plants, and monsters. This one is so similar to the one I came from that I couldn't be sure it wasn't mine, until I saw you. Now I know it is different."

  "Are you sure you didn't brush the edge of a forget whorl and get confused?"

  "Yes. You see, one of my companions is—you. From the other reality."

  Surprise Two laughed. "Your friend is not me, Che, though she does have a similar outfit and hairstyle."

  "She used her talent to mask herself, so as not to startle you unduly." He glanced at Surprise One. "Please show her."

  Surprise One reverted to her natural aspect. "Hello, me," she said.

  Surprise Two stared. "You do look like me now! But how can there be two of me?"

  "One from each Xanth," Che said. "Ordinarily you would never meet, but we crossed into your reality for this purpose. Do you wish to verify your other self's nature?"

  "I should think so," Surprise Two said. "If she's me, she can do similar magic. Match this." She snapped her fingers, and yellow sparks flew out.

  Surprise one snapped her fingers, making similar green sparks.

  Surprise Two floated knee high off the ground. Surprise one did the same, a little higher. Surprise Two coughed, and a blue snake flew out of her mouth, dropped to the ground, and slithered away. Surprise one coughed, producing a red snake.

  "You are me," Surprise Two said. "No one else could demonstrate more than one talent, and even I could not do exactly the same ones again."

  "That's why I varied them," Surprise One said. "I did the ones you could have done next."

  "I suppose I have to believe you," Surprise Two said. "But whatever possessed you to come here?"

  "I—" Surprise One stalled, and looked appealingly at Che.

  All four of Che's knees weakened. How could he ever resist her appeal? "We have no wish to bring you any grief," he said to Surprise Two. "But it is possible that we will."

  Surprise Two shook her head. "I know that no other me would wish anyone harm, especially not another me. What grief could you bring me, without wishing it?"

  "Your baby," Che said.

  "My baby!" Surprise Two shrank back, holding her sleeping son closer.

  Che couldn't stand to hurt this Surprise either, so he delayed their business. "Please tell us how he was delivered. Was there anything unusual about it?"

  "No, it was a regular stork delivery, brought by—" Surprise paused. "A stork like that."

  "There may have been an error."

  "No error! We signaled in good faith, and—" Again she paused. "Oh, no!"

  "There was something?"

  "We signaled six months ago. We weren't expecting the delivery yet, but evidently the storks have become more efficient since I was delivered. I was five years late; now they're running early. Aren't they?"

  "I am afraid not."

  "We were so glad to have our son that we never questioned it. Are you saying there was a mistake?" Tears were forming, brightening her pretty eyes.

  That tore Che up. "Did the stork question your age?"

  "No, it knew better. I am eighteen. Umlaut went to the Stork Works and insisted that they correct the record, so they wouldn't think I was underage. So there was no problem on that score."

  "There was with me," Surprise One said. "We signaled nine months ago, but the stork thought I was thirteen, and refused to deliver my baby."

  "And brought him instead to me, here?" Now the tears were flowing in earnest. "This is your son, not mine?"

  "It may be so," Che said. "That is what we have come to ascertain."

  Surprise Two held out the baby. "I can't keep your baby," she said, her tears dripping off her sweet chin.

  "I can't do this," Surprise One said, turning away, weeping.

  "We have to know the truth," Che said. "We brought the stork who almost delivered in our Xanth. He can tell the baby he brought by the smell. If you will allow—"

  Surprise Two held the baby toward Stymy.

  Stymy stepped forward and sniffed. "That is not the one."

  The other three looked at him with mixed expressions. "Not?" Che asked.

  "Definitely not."

  "I can keep my baby?" Surprise Two asked, amazed.

  "Yes," Che said.

  "Oh, I'm glad," Surprise One said. "You
are truly me, and without fault. I couldn't do that to you."

  "I couldn't have done it to you, either," Surprise Two said. Then, in sudden tearful generosity: "Would you like to hold him?"

  Surprise One paused only a third of a moment. "Yes."

  Two gave the baby to One, who held him like an infinitely precious thing.

  "But how can he not be yours?" Two asked. "If the stork went from you to me?"

  "There are many realities," Che explained. "We are checking the ones where the stork crossed between two to deliver the baby. Yours must have come from another reality, not ours. As far as we are concerned, he is yours to keep. We will check another reality for ours."

  "I'm so relieved," Surprise Two said. "It's selfish, I know, but I love my baby."

  "He's lovable," Surprise One agreed. "Please take him back now, before I fall in love with him myself. Thank you so much for letting me hold him." She gave the baby boy back.

  "You must make the storks correct your record," Surprise Two said, holding her son.

  "We have done so," Che said. "But the baby was already gone."

  "It must be awful."

  "Yes," One said.

  "But I am so glad to have met you," Two said. "I knew nothing of all this."

  "Neither did I, yesterday," One said.

  "We must go," Che said. "We must check the other realities."

  "Good-bye," the two Surprises said together, hugging each other, the baby nestled between them. Che wished he could hug them both; they were unutterably lovely in their mutual emotion and generosity.

  They started to walk back toward the others of their party, when something appeared in the sky. It was a bug, no a bird, no a dragon—no, a flying centaur. "Cynthia!" Surprise exclaimed.

  The centaur mare glided grandly down to land in the field near the Golem house. Che, knowing it wasn't his Cynthia, tried to move on toward the forest, to get clear before she saw him.

  He was way too late. "Che!" Cynthia called. "What are you doing here? I wondered when I saw you from the sky. I thought you had important business with the Good Magician."

  "You can't avoid her," Surprise murmured. "You'll have to explain, as you did so well with my other self."

  That seemed to be the case. He turned to face Cynthia as she trotted up. He had always liked the way she trotted, especially when viewed from the front. "Hello," he said somewhat lamely.

  "Oh, you can do better than that," she said, stepping up and kissing him firmly but intimately on the mouth.

  This was delightful but distinctly awkward. "Cynthia, there's something I need to explain."

  "By all means, Che," she said, clasping him so that her large bare breasts pressed firmly against his chest. He had always liked that, too. "Now that we're together, maybe we can get alone and have that phenomenal mating session that got postponed."

  That was wickedly tempting. The elixir had oriented him on Surprise, but that did not mean he had lost his feeling for Cynthia. She was a wonderful match for him. But this was treacherous terrain. "I fear I must demur."

  "Your time is squeezed? In that case it can be very quick, but still satisfying. Come into the shelter of the forest—or do you prefer to do it in the air, out of sight of the house? That's a nice challenge."

  "It's not that," he said. "I would love to do it. But I must not."

  Now she was concerned. "Che, is there a problem?"

  "I am not the one you take me for," he said bluntly, unable to finesse the issue further.

  "You certainly are fooling me. If you're not Che, who are you?"

  "I am Che. But not your Che. I'm from another reality."

  She was a centaur. She caught on rapidly. "There are other realities? I don't believe we have discussed this before."

  "I didn't know, before. I learned it from the Good Magician. I am here on special business."

  Understanding did not necessarily bring belief. "It is not that I doubt you in anything Che, but perhaps I require more substantial evidence."

  Nicely put. "We have the Surprise Golem from my reality here also."

  Cynthia glanced around, seeing Surprise One. "That's odd; I thought I saw her standing by the house."

  "She is." He gestured to Surprise One. "We need to show her."

  Surprise understood. She walked back to join Surprise Two. The two women stood side by side.

  Cynthia gazed at them for a moment, then nodded. "Point made. Just what is this special business you are on?"

  "In my reality, the stork brought Surprise's baby, but declined to deliver it, citing her age. He thought she was thirteen, counting from her date of delivery. He took her baby to another reality for delivery where there was not a question about her age. We are trying to recover it for her."

  She nodded. "And this is the one? I know her delivery was early."

  "No, this turns out not to be the one. So we shall continue our search."

  "That's nice. This Surprise is certainly worthy, and it would be a shame to deprive her of her baby."

  "So now we must go," Che said. "I apologize for deceiving you, however inadvertently."

  She considered half a moment. "How are you traveling?"

  "By foot. We have several other members of our party, too many for me to safely carry alone."

  "Suppose I join you, and carry some?"

  Che needed only a quarter of a moment to consider. "That would be a generous offer."

  "It is an expedient one, as I would like to learn more of this matter, and will not otherwise have a chance."

  Che knew Cynthia; she had something else on her mind. What was it? He couldn't always fathom her moods. But there was no point in challenging her. "If you are satisfied to perform this chore, it will be appreciated."

  "Let me make amends to Surprise; then I will join you."

  "I will explain to my companions."

  They separated for the moment, then rejoined when the amenities were accomplished. Che introduced Pyra to Cynthia. No other introductions were needed, as Cynthia and the children knew each other, and all understood the distinction between realities. Cynthia took the three children, while Che carried Pyra and Surprise.

  "That is one savvy filly," Pyra remarked. "She has her eye on you, Che."

  Surprise was interested. "Well, they are mated, in their own realities. Such interest is natural."

  "This goes beyond that," Pyra said. "Didn't you notice?"

  "There is something," Surprise agreed.

  "I do not understand," Che said.

  "Naturally not," Pyra said. "You're male." Both women laughed.

  Che knew better than to dismiss her notion; Pyra had proved to be accurately perceptive in his own case. "Please explain it to me."

  "There are differences between the realities," Pyra said. "I have seen it endlessly when comparing them via the Mask. Some are of little consequence; others are subtly significant. Such as whether the storks know your age, Surprise."

  "Yes, that made all the difference," Surprise agreed. "The other couple also signaled the stork only six months ago. So what seems the same at present has a slightly different history. But the relationship of Che and Cynthia seems the same."

  "Perhaps. But let's try this for a conjecture: in Reality Two, the centaur couple is not as close. They may even be considering separation."

  "Never!" Che said. "I love Cynthia." It was true, if no longer the whole truth.

  "Of course," Pyra said smoothly. "Couples, once formed, seldom if ever separate, in our reality. All marriages and matings are happy and permanent. But suppose that this is not the case in Reality Two? That couples can tire and separate, as they do in Mundania, where half of all marriages founder."

  "Xanth isn't Mundania," Che said.

  "To be sure. And Reality Two is not Reality One. Assume my conjecture is correct: what would Cynthia do if her relationship was weakening?"

  "She would try harder to interest Che," Surprise said. "As she did, before learning he wasn't the same stallion." />
  She had indeed, Che realized, feeling guilty for being tempted.

  "And when she learned he was a different stallion," Pyra continued inexorably, "why did her interest not abate?"

  "Because she recognized him as a new prospect," Surprise said. "With all the qualities she liked in her own mate."

  "So she followed up," Pyra continued. "Finding a way to accompany him further. Perhaps to ascertain whether there were additional qualities her own mate lacks."

  It made entirely too much sense, Che realized. This was doubly treacherous terrain. "I am not interested in any such dalliance," he protested.

  "You were not moved when she broached you?" Pyra asked.

  Bleep her perception! "She strongly resembles my Cynthia."

  "Precisely. So maybe you should take her up on her interest, at least for a night."

  "That's outrageous," Surprise protested. "Centaurs aren't like that."

  Che felt guilty again. Surprise in her innocence had no notion of his longing for just such a liaison with her.

  "Perhaps, in our reality," Pyra said. "But in other realities, perhaps not."

  Now Che realized what the woman was doing. She was probing Surprise's attitude on such a liaison, knowing of Che's passion. Fortunately Surprise was having none of it.

  Yet he wished that was not the case.

  They reached the Stork Works and landed. The speed of flight had made the trip much faster and prevented the obstacles of the terrain, such as weed whackers. "I thank you for you kind assistance, Cynthia," he said as the women and children dismounted.

  She led him aside a moment. "Perhaps we could camp for the night. There is a private place within easy range by air."

  He tackled the issue directly. "In my reality, matings are permanent. There are no outside dalliances."

  She shrugged regretfully. "And does Surprise Golem agree?"

  "Of course."

  She smiled obscurely. "Really?"

  He gazed at her, appalled. She knew. She had fathomed his illicit passion, just as Pyra had.

  "We—waded through a lake of love elixir. It affected me more than I anticipated. I shall not act on it."

  "At such time as you may reconsider, return to this reality. I am of your species, and well acquainted with you. There would be no need of elixir." Then she spread her wings and took off.