Let Me Love

by Michelle Lynn

  “Shut the hell up, Hulk.” Brady smacks Dex across the back of his head. He tosses me a bottle of water and sits on the other side of me.

  “Just because you and Grant have gone all in, doesn’t mean the rest of us want one pussy for the rest of our lives,” Dex adds with humor in his voice.

  “Grow up,” Brady says and picks up the nearly empty bottle in front of him. “If this,” he waves it in the air, “and fucking a different pussy every chance you get is being single, then I’m more than happy where my dick lands every night,” he finishes, setting the bottle back down.

  “Save us the whole commitment is the best speech,” Dex banters back.

  Brady stares Dex down in annoyance while all the back and forth makes my headache a little more intense.

  “If she has you doing this, she must be worth it.” Brady cocks an eyebrow at me, and I stare back at him, already recognizing he’s right, but no way in hell am I going to admit it to him.

  “Shit,” I mumble, and Brady drones his fatherly know it all ‘uh huh’ under his breath. Cocky bastard. Standing up, I take the steps two at a time. Right before I reach the top, I hear Brady and Dex talking.

  “You give shitty advice,” Brady tells Dex.

  “Fuck off, Mrs. Sadie Miller,” Dex says in return. “He’s gonna become pussy whipped, just like your ass.”

  “And believe me, he’ll be happier,” Brady adds. As I reach the main floor, I pray Brady’s right.

  After I shower to wash off the alcohol smell that’s oozing out my pores and brushing the Jack grime off my teeth, I hurry out of the house. By the way Jessa’s mom tosses me her keys, I’m pretty sure conversations in this house have already been overflowing with my love life problems. I thank her, and she gives me a reassuring smile.

  Unable to drive there fast enough, since I know better than to speed. The mountain roads are crazy slick, even with the constant snowplows and salt trucks you see every few miles. I tap the fingers of my right hand on my knee, with the impatience at the slowness of time passing until I can convince her to take a chance on me, while my left hand palms the steering wheel directing the SUV.

  The tires crunch on the gravel driveway and my heart plummets when I see Clyde helping Kailey out of Holly’s car. Screeching the car to a stop, I rush out, slamming the car door “What the hell happened?” I ask. Holly stares from Clyde to Kailey, then finally back at me.

  She begins to speak when Clyde interjects, “She slipped on the ice,” he tells me, and I reach across holding her other side. “Be careful of her back,” he mentions, and I nod. Kailey’s green eyes glance over to me out of the corner, and my mind empties of every word I rehearsed on the way over.

  Once we get Kailey into the house, we position her on the couch, and Holly places a pillow behind her back. Holly’s usual friendly demeanor has disappeared. I assume Kailey told her about us. She eyes me curiously and glances at Kailey often. Clyde even seems standoffish, taking the lead of his wife for directions if he should go or stay.

  “Do you need anything, sweetie?” Holly pushes the ottoman over and Kailey rests her feet on top.

  “Could you get me the Ibuprofen and water?” she asks all the while diverting her eyes away from me.

  “Sure thing,” Holly says, patting her leg sympathetically.

  Kailey takes the meds and drinks her water before asking Holly and Clyde if we could have a moment alone. They graciously agree, leaving with small smiles across their faces. Is that the ‘it’s been nice Trey, but sayonara’ look?

  “What are you doing here, Trey?” She turns slightly my way, but grimaces. I get up and sit on the ottoman, so she doesn’t have to rotate her body.

  “I’m here to beg,” I shamefully admit.

  “Don’t,” she says flatly. One might believe she’s annoyed from her reaction, but I catch the corners of her lips slightly turn up, telling me there’s a chance. Even if it’s minuscule, I’ll take it.

  “You better grab it, because it’ll be the first and last time I beg,” I assure her, and the corners move up a little more. Keep it going, Trey, I silently give myself a pep talk.

  “Don’t flatter yourself.” When she moves slightly she cringes again.

  “I guess you won’t be walking away from me,” I joke, and she shakes her head, biting the inside of her cheek.

  “I wasn’t the one who walked,” she reminds me.

  “Not last night, but you were planning to on Sunday,” I promptly remind her, and she nods her head, acknowledging the truth of my statement.

  “Exactly, I thought this was handled last night.”

  “I changed my mind. You know this is more than some quick vacation fuck,” I say to her. Yeah, not my most romantic line.

  “I don’t have time for a relationship,” she repeats herself like a damn iPod on repeat.

  “We’ve established that. I don’t need much, but for some reason, I need you.” I clench my lip through my teeth, trying to think of a response to whatever argument she’ll toss back my way.

  “There’s not enough of me,” she divulges, and I’m confused to the meaning of her comment. “That’s why my initial plan was the perfect situation,” she says.

  “Oh yeah, the part where you were going to use me and throw me away like some stray cat?” I smirk with my last feeble attempt at comedy. Humor and laughter seems to be what we do best.

  “It’s usually your M.O., I know.” She coyly smiles back, but I don’t think I’ve accomplished enough headway just yet.

  “Kailey, let’s just spend the rest of the week together and see how thing go. You at least owe me that much for objectifying me,” I tease her, although I’m partly serious.

  “Nothing’s going to change,” she says, but her eyes reveal the truth—she wants more. “Why are you being so persistent? You know you only wanted me for a ‘nice vacation screw’.” The thought she knows what my true intention was when I first met her makes me wish I could jump into a time machine and retrace my steps back to this moment without being the ‘manwhore’ I’ve become.

  “I don’t know, I like you,” I say with as much conviction as I’m able to convey. She already thinks I’m scum, so no need to tack on any more bullshit.

  She shifts and rises to her feet, and I quickly stand to hold her up. “Just sit down,” I tell her.

  “The meds are kicking in, I’m fine.” Allowing her green gaze to peer into my brown eyes, contemplating her decision. “Alright,” she agrees, quickly holding up her hand to my chest, “but no promises.” She tacked that qualifier on, but I don’t care. At this point, I’ll take what I can get of her.

  Not about to wait a second more, “I’m going to kiss you now,” I inform her while gently taking her hand off my chest and slipping my fingers through hers. I rest our clasped hands at the small of her back before gently pushing her toward me. Bending down to reach her lips, she gasps and her tongue slowly moistens her lips while our eyes never lose focus on one another. Once my lips are mere millimeters from hers, I ask, “Is that okay with you?”

  She remains quiet, but nods her head, giving me approval. Not wasting a second, I let my lips finish their path to a destination I’ve been waiting to reach since she first told me her name. The soft feel hits me first as we mold together like two puzzle pieces entwined together. Tracing the part in her lips with my tongue, I wait for her to open, allowing me access to her deliciously warm mouth. When she gives me the slightest opening, I snake my tongue inside, finding hers. The pace of our lips increase, and our tongues tangle between them. As though we each need the other for air, we ravage each other until she eventually pulls back. Leaving us both gasping for our breath.

  “Wow,” slips out of me breathlessly, not able to hold it in. It’s the hottest kiss I’ve ever had.

  She bites her lip with the cutest smirk across her lips. “Yeah,” she adds.

  Without saying another word, I release her hand, placing both my hands on either side of her face, pulling her toward me agai
n. As I taste her cherry lip gloss, her fingers run across the stubble on my scalp, and rest at my neckline, holding me against her. In all my conquests, I’ve never wanted to take someone as much as I do her in this moment. But because of all the using each other talk, I fight the urge to throw her across the couch, fucking her senseless. She deserves nice and slow, cherishing every second love making.

  Chapter 5

  I’ve spent all day at Kailey’s aunt and uncles’, fetching Kailey soup, water, or medicine. Anything she desired, I’ve been at her beck and call. Clyde and Holly went out shopping for a few hours for reasons I’m pretty sure were just to give us time alone.

  Instead of watching movies or playing our popcorn ‘getting to know you’ game, we, meaning Kailey, decides on the Life board game after me begging to play strip poker. She appears more comfortable from her fall, which makes me hope she’ll join me tonight at Jessa’s sister, Sam’s, party. We’d talked about going before the whole debacle last night, so I’m optimistic that she’s still up for it.

  “Let’s make a bet?” I say, placing all the little buildings in their designated slots around the board.

  “What?” she questions with a curiosity laced sigh.

  “A kiss for every spin.” I wink, handing her the white car with a small plastic pink peg in it.

  “That’s all?” she’s says, shocked that’s all I would request. Crap, should’ve asked for more.

  “Do you want to up the ante?” I ask, placing my green car at the starting line with the blue peg in the driver’s seat.

  “Well, first, my girl here can drive,” she says, moving her pink peg from the passenger spot to the driver’s side. I laugh. “Secondly, what do I get when I win?” I love her cockiness.

  “Hey, baby, win or lose you can have anything you want—as long as it entails me.” I slyly smirk, and a giggle escapes from her.

  After staring over at me for a few beats of the heart, she flirts right back, “I would expect nothing less.”

  When I pick up my head from concentrating on the board and find her looking at me, I don’t think, I just move. Bending across the board, my lips land right on hers. Snaking my tongue in instantly, she quickly joins me and places her hand on the back of my head. Her fingernails scrap against my hairline while my hands remain planted on either side of her cheeks.

  Reluctantly, I tear myself away from her, worried I may be rushing her. The fear that if I sleep with her now she’ll disappear from my life is very real. I smile when her bottom lip pouts out in displeasure that I ended it too soon for her liking. This is good; I need to keep her wanting me. So, I sit back, and we play the game, giving sexual innuendos back and forth. It’s been ages since I’ve flirted with someone and it’s exhilarating feeling those flutters in my stomach every time she turns me on with her words or an accidental brush of her fingers on mine.

  Kailey, in fact, does win the game, leaving me in the dust with two carloads full of kids, a shitty job, and no money. I demand a rematch, but she reminds me I have a bet to ante up on first. Not about to miss that, I knock the board to the floor and grab her by her hips, bringing her onto my lap as I sit back down on the couch.

  “Ouch,” she whimpers, and I quickly apologize for the abrupt movement to her sore back. “It’s okay, sometimes pain is worth it,” she replies with a hint of seduction.

  Her hands find their now usual spot on my hairline, while mine clasp together and rest along the side of her hip, almost caging her in my arms. This time she bends down to me, making the first move and gradually brushing her moist lips against mine. Desperate to see what she has in store for us, I allow her to take the lead. Her tongue slowly parts my lips, but only enters slightly. Not allowing my own to join hers just yet, she moves her swirling tongue, teasing my lips until mine has no choice but to end this cat and mouse game.

  Almost like a bolt of electricity strikes from the mere tip of our tongues colliding. Our mouths quickly become more frantic, while our hands remain firmly in place. It’s taking every ounce of restraint I possess not to lift her up and make her straddle me. I’m desperate for her to feel what she does to me, to feel the hard bulge in my pants up against her, even if it’s through pieces of fabric.

  We must be on the same agenda because she slowly moves her legs on either side of my hips, her lips never leaving mine. She grinds into me harder, rubbing herself against my dick that’s begging me to release him. Grabbing her hips, I press her even closer and suck her bottom lip in between my teeth to nibble on before gradually kissing her chin. My one hand snakes up her back until I grab a few locks of her silky brown hair and lightly tug it back to get better access to her neck. Swiping my wet tongue up her neck, I encase my lips around her earlobe and suck it into my mouth.

  Her moan only drives me harder to elicit those pleasured sounds out of her mouth. As gently as possible, I begin to move her down to the couch, so my hands can explore her body when the sound of a car engine brings us to a halt.

  “Shit,” Kailey mumbles, sitting up and propping her feet up on the ottoman as though we weren’t just about to round second base.

  I chuckle and follow her lead by sitting straight up, waiting for Uncle Clyde to come in most likely with his axe. We feel the cold air billow in before Holly and Clyde make their appearance with plastic filled grocery bags overflowing in their hands.

  Holly stops dead in her tracks and coyly smiles over at us while Clyde gives us a quick hello and ventures into the kitchen. “Looks like we came home too soon,” Holly teases, raising her eyebrows, and then her vision lands on the game of Life strewn across the floor. Kailey’s face turns beet red, and I shake my head in amusement. “Sorry, guys,” she jokingly offers her condolences, and then continues on her way to the kitchen, giggling.

  When I finally hear the ripples of the bags being unpacked and the cans being put away, I turn toward a very embarrassed Kailey. “I guess, I should get going. Are you coming with me tonight?” Praying she says yes, I kiss her lips quickly to hopefully seal the deal.

  “Yes,” she mumbles against mine. I suppress the shout of joy that wants to bellow out of me. I think we just turned a corner.

  The van stops in front of Jessa’s sister, Sam’s house. She’s having a huge party tonight, and since we’re always up for a college kegger, we all graciously accepted the invitation. Grant and Jessa have their hot date tonight, so they’re coming later, which will be a good thing. It’ll allow Kailey to see how in love they are with each other once they arrive. After the plans I heard Grant had for them, there’s no doubt Jessa will be on cloud nine, bragging about it to all the girls.

  As I grasp Kailey’s hand, Dex tosses his overnight bag over his shoulder. He winks when he catches me smirking at him. He definitely picked up those self-esteem pieces pretty fast after I stole Kailey. The same night we got in from Western, he and Sam started eyeing each other. Not sure Jessa’s noticed, and I’m itching to be there when she finds out. No doubt Dex will get his ass handed to him by a spunky little blonde.

  Sam opens the door before we ring the doorbell, obviously just as excited about our arrival as Dex. Once she gives a brief hello and a quick tour, she and Dex disappear into the bedroom while the four of us grab a few beers and sit down.

  “Remember those days,” Sadie says, squeezing Brady’s thigh.

  “Those days?” he scrunches his eyebrows at her while taking a sip of his water.

  “You know? When we couldn’t keep our hands off one another?”

  “You have to be shittin’ me?” spills out of me in as much confusion as Brady appears to be in.

  “Babe, my hands never leave your body,” he remarks, pulling her into his lap. “I’m sure there’s a spare bedroom somewhere around here.” He over dramatizes his head turning left and right.

  “You don’t need a bedroom,” I begin to joke, but quickly stop myself, so Kailey doesn’t get the wrong idea.

  “Yeah, Trey’s never needed one,” Kailey adds, and I stare up at Brady not
sure if it’s a slam or a joke on her part. Sadie bites the inside of her cheek, wondering the same.

  “Isn’t that the truth? All we need is a corner,” Brady laughs and, luckily, Kailey does to. Unfortunately, I’m not too much of a fan of being the butt of a joke, especially one that is a sore spot between Kailey and me.

  “Hey,” she squeezes my hand. I peer down at her next to me and out of the corner of my eye, I notice Brady and Sadie attempt to leave quietly. “I was joking. I’m sorry,” she continues, her green eyes reflecting remorse for her words.

  Bending down close to her, her body stiffens against mine. “Things change—people change,” I whisper before kissing her. Not sure why I’m suddenly ashamed of every careless fuck I’ve had. I guess, it’s my need for her to feel like I’m worth something. When in actuality, I’m not.

  “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry,” she apologizes again.

  “You can’t be sorry when you speak the truth.” I stand up, not able to handle these damn emotions any longer. I leave her on the couch without looking back her way. When I get into the kitchen, Sadie rolls her eyes at me and leaves the room to join Kailey, I assume.

  “You finally found your match,” Brady jokes, chomping on some Doritos he found on the table.

  Reaching in to grab one. “Yeah, I guess.” I shrug my shoulders, searching the room for something stronger. When I spot the bottle of Absolute, my hand reaches, but Brady grabs it away.

  “You don’t need it,” he tells me, keeping it hostage as though I’m some fucking alcoholic.

  “What the hell? Give me the damn bottle.” My voice rising in agitation.

  “Deal with what’s going on instead of numbing the shit,” Brady says, handing me the bottle.

  I debate his words and with a huff, refill my red Solo cup instead. The hard stuff won’t make this guilt disappear. I lean against the doorframe and look at Kailey laughing with Sadie in the front room. I can’t help but wonder if they’re laughing at me. “Relax, man,” Brady clasps my shoulders, “just go with it and see what happens,” he reminds me.