Wolf's-own: Koan
Page 32
"I want to leave,” he managed to slur.
"The bowl, little fool. All roads begin right here."
Jacin kept losing the thread, grasping for the sense in what Rihansei was saying, but it kept flittering away. Still, a vague sense of failure filtered through, and he had no idea why he cared, but he was so bloody sick of failing, and this seemed like something easy. Just look down into a bowl. How could he fuck that up? He blinked down into his reflection, watching him back from the murky water in the bowl. Lightheaded. Weak. Numb and weightless.
He dragged his eyes away. He didn't want to see what everyone else saw when they looked at him, because they never wanted to look, so why should he? Instead, he slid his glance sideways to where Rihansei's hand was set to Jacin's arm, the tattoos writhing all over snow-white skin now, colors shifting and shapes morphing. Alive. Or was it the lizards? Jacin blinked.
"Not yet,” Rihansei said softly, tipping Jacin's chin up until Jacin's gaze caromed into ruby depths. “The bowl."
He had to obey. He had no choice. Jacin skimmed his gaze once again to the bowl, just stared, wondering who that haggard-looking, blood-streaked young man was with the raggedy hair and the tiny little braid that was meant to remind him who he'd been and tell him who he was now, except he'd never quite figured out who he was, and none of it made sense anymore. His head swam in dips and blurry rises, and his reflection blinked myopically up at him, braid swinging. He only watched, detached, as the braid grew, wrapped around his neck like a noose, tightened, and even when it cut off air, he didn't reach for it.
"These are not chains,” Rihansei said, right in Jacin's ear as he took hold of Jacin's wrists. “Your tether. Your safety."
Rihansei withdrew his hands, and then they were... they looked like Malick's, holding on to Jacin tightly, firm body bracing up against Jacin's back and shoring him up. Jacin could've wept with the relief. Except they couldn't be Malick's hands a small natter at the back of Jacin's mind insisted, but Jacin had been having a hard time deciding what was real just lately, and he wanted them to be Malick's hands.
"It is all right, little fool. You are safe. Pull your safety close about you and look."
The hands—Malick's hands—tightened again and tipped the bowl closer to Jacin's face. Jacin couldn't speak, just stared down into the bowl, watching as his reflection grew larger and closer, until his nose touched the water. Thought, drown, just that one word, fuzzy and faraway but with a bitter tang to it, and he wondered if it was because he wanted it or feared it or was already doing it, and he had no idea which, so he just let it all go and fell into himself.
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Carole Cummings lives with her husband and family in Pennsylvania, USA, where she spends her time trying to find time to write. She's the recipient of various amateur writing awards, and several of her short stories have been translated into Spanish, German, Chinese, and Polish.
Free shorts, sneak peeks at WIPs, and other miscellany can be found at www.carolecummings.com.
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WOLF'S-OWN GHOST
WOLF'S-OWN: WEREGILD
WOLF'S-OWN: KOAN
WOLF'S-OWN: INCENDIARY
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Published by
Dreamspinner Press
382 NE 191st Street #88329
Miami, FL 33179-3899, USA
www.dreamspinnerpress.com/
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Wolf's-own: Koan
Copyright (C) 2012 by Carole Cummings
Cover Art by Anne Cain annecain.art@gmail.com
Cover Design by Mara McKennen
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 382 NE 191st Street #88329, Miami, FL 33179-3899, USA
www.dreamspinnerpress.com/
ISBN: 978-1-61372-516-0
Printed in the United States of America
First Edition
May 2012
eBook edition available
eBook ISBN: 978-1-61372-517-7
* * *
Visit www.dreamspinnerpress.com for information on additional titles by this and other authors.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Glossary
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
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