Val finally spoke. “Shouldn’t we be calling the ambulance?”
Brad looked at her. He’d already been considering the same thing, but he had other ideas. “Do you think they’d get here in time?”
“We have to do something.”
He nodded. “Zane, help me load him in the van. Nick, you still have that GPS app on your phone?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you’re comin’ with.”
Zane said, “I’m comin’ too.”
He leaned over and grabbed his friend. Seeing Ethan’s face up close and feeling the dead weight of his body filled Brad’s gut with dread. Jesus. This was bad. Ethan had never been like this before. It made all the other times he’d scared them look like a day at the beach. He didn’t say a word, but when Zane got on the other side of Ethan to help move him, Brad could see it on his face too. This was fucking serious…and real. Brad clenched his jaw. He had to push those thoughts out. Now wasn’t the time. He had to keep his shit together or they’d all lose it. He sucked in a deep breath. “Nick, get my keys too, would ya? They’re on the dresser in our room.”
By the time the elevator doors opened, Nick and Val had joined them. He saw that Val had his shirt and shoes with her and he felt gratitude—not just for her thoughtfulness, but how they all banded together for their friend. Over the past couple of years, they’d had moments, but it was now—when it mattered most—that everyone was completely on the same page. And, really, it wasn’t for the band. In a roundabout way it was, but it was instead for their brother. They were family now, and they were doing what they had to to take care of Ethan. There was nothing selfish about it.
They laid Ethan down on the middle seat, and Brad felt a fresh new wave of fear overcome him. His friend felt cool to the touch and clammy, but his body on the seat looked dead. He swallowed it down and took the t-shirt and shoes from Val without a word and put them on. Nick handed him the keys and said, “I’ve got the address for the nearest hospital.”
Val climbed up in the van and sat on the floor next to Ethan. That was good, because he needed Nick in her usual seat. “Nick, I need you riding shotgun as my navigator.” Zane got in the very back. Brad caught the guy’s eyes again and then saw Nick’s as they got in the front. They were all as scared as he was. They knew like he did that this was something special.
He turned off the radio when he started the van. He could hear Val behind him saying something to Ethan. It felt then like he had put himself on autopilot. Nick gave him directions and he followed them without question. He sped when he felt like it wasn’t dangerous to do so. The only good thing about it being early morning was that the traffic was minimal. He didn’t have a clock in the van, but he knew it was sometime after four.
Once they got to the hospital, things moved quickly. The staff there took Ethan’s health seriously and whisked him away on a gurney, leaving the four of them to answer questions. They were all the same questions Brad had asked his bandmates when they’d pulled him out of Valerie’s arms, but the nurse with the clipboard asked more. And none of them were able to answer many of them.
After some time, they were shooed off to the ER waiting room, and the nurse promised to give them information as soon as possible. After they settled in, she asked Brad back up to the desk. “I noticed that we failed to get insurance information for you.”
Shit. If Ethan had insurance, Brad didn’t know about it. “I don’t know if he has any insurance.” She frowned. “Do you need some kind of copay or something?”
“Well, I can’t really assess it without knowing what insurance he has.”
Brad pulled his hand through his hair. It was damp from the shower, but the ungodly heat on the drive to the hospital had dried out all of it except the part closest to his head. He drew in a deep breath and shrugged. “I don’t know. I wish I could tell you, but I don’t know. Can’t you get that information from him when he wakes up?”
He had almost said if—if he wakes up. She said, “Will you be guarantor of payment?”
Brad didn’t know why, but it felt like a threat—like they wouldn’t help Ethan unless they knew money was coming. What the hell else was he supposed to do? He shook his head but said, “Sure.” He decided, though, that if they didn’t save his brother, they wouldn’t get shit from him.
And he felt himself grow numb as she started telling him costs of procedures.
Inside, he was raging. They were putting costs on his friend’s life. If Brad had had oodles of money, he and the nurse wouldn’t even be having that conversation. So when he joined his friends in the waiting room, he wasn’t just worried; he was angry.
Sometime later, another nurse came out and asked for Brad. When he stood, she told him that Ethan was in stable condition and said they would be moving him to a room. She wasn’t going to tell him what room until he got pissed and demanded it. “I’m paying the goddamn bill, and we might not be blood brothers, but make no mistake. We are brothers. You tell me the room number or let me speak with your supervisor.” She looked nervous for a few minutes but finally caved and told him. They wouldn’t be allowed in there for a while, so Brad shuffled them all off to the cafeteria and they all drank coffee.
It didn’t escape his notice that no one wanted to eat.
As he sipped at the liquid, he talked with his friends, but he wasn’t really paying attention. His mind was on Ethan, and if his friend made it out of this shit, they were going to have a long conversation, because he couldn’t keep doing this. It was fucking killing him.
Chapter Forty-seven
THAT AFTERNOON, ONLY Brad was allowed to see Ethan. The nurse he’d gotten firm with before said, “It’s because you’re his brother, sir.” The look in her eyes told Brad that he had to follow along with the story—if he said anything about not really being Ethan’s brother, the jig was up. “These other people aren’t family.”
It was stupid, and he could have kicked his own ass for saying it, but he couldn’t stop the words from flying out of his mouth. “What about Val? She’s his fiancée. Shouldn’t she be allowed to see him?”
Val looked up at him, but her acting skills were superb. Instead of protesting or denying it or even looking shocked, she got a look of indignation on her face, challenging the nurse to tell her no. The nurse nodded and Brad suspected she might have been onto them but agreed nonetheless. She wrote Val’s name down and then led them both to ICU, and—once they were there—introduced them to the nurses in charge who then told Val and Brad a list of dos and don’ts. They weren’t allowed to spend much time with Ethan, and there were only certain hours they could be there.
Brad asked, “What’s next? I mean…is he in a coma or what?”
The pale thin-lipped nurse sitting at the desk gave him a look. “Yes, he’s in a coma.” Brad didn’t say anything, but he had more questions. She saw that in his eyes and said, “He’ll be in ICU until the doctor says he’s stable enough to be moved.”
“But how long will he be like this?”
She shrugged. She wasn’t unsympathetic, but her words were clipped and cold. “There no way of telling. He could wake up from it in the next five minutes, or it could be five years from now.”
Brad’s heart sunk, but he put his arm around Val’s shoulders, and they went in to spend as much time with Ethan as they could.
The guy looked like shit. His skin was almost white, making the dark circles under his eyes all the more noticeable. His cheeks looked sunken in, even though Ethan hadn’t lost any weight recently. Val started crying when she saw him and sat in the one chair in the room, pulling it up close to the bed. She took Ethan’s hand in hers.
It destroyed him, seeing her in such pain over something stupid and foolish Ethan had once again selfishly done to himself, and he couldn’t do a goddamn thing to make her feel better. He rested his hand on her shoulder and squeezed, hoping to comfort her.
But then he felt a cold shiver worm its way up his spine. No. He wasn’t hurting just bec
ause of Val’s helpless feelings or because Ethan had done this to himself. It started to dawn on him that there was a lot more going on here, and that realization felt like a hot knife in the chest as soon as it hit him.
Val still loved Ethan.
* * *
The next day they moved Ethan to another room, but he was dead to the world. Before that, though, Brad sent Zane and Nick to the hotel. They were in charge of checking them out of their rooms, Val’s included.
They were all in the room with Ethan when he was first moved to it. Because it was during visiting hours, they were all allowed in the room, but the new nurse in charge made it clear that only Brad and Val could be there once visiting hours were over, and only if they didn’t get in the way. Brad didn’t see how they could be in the way. A nurse came by once in a while to check his vitals and the IV drip, but that was it.
There was another bed in the room. It was empty for now, but Brad knew another person could be put in the room at any time. He knew it was because the hospital had no idea how they were going to pay Ethan’s bill (aside from Brad’s signature on some papers), and a semi-private room was cheaper than one alone.
When Nick and Zane were told to leave, Val asked, “Brad, should we call June?”
Brad had already thought of it. There was no reason to tell her, because her knowledge wouldn’t change a thing. The only thing it would do to his mom would be to make her worry. And he wasn’t ready. “She’d flip out, Val…and there’s really nothing she can do.”
“But what if he stays in the coma forever, Brad, and we don’t tell her? Then what?”
“And how the hell do you think she could even get here?”
“The same way we did.”
He relented. She was right—his mother should know. But he hoped to give Ethan time to wake up. He was torn. “I’ll make you a deal. If he’s still like this in a week, I’ll call her.” Val seemed satisfied with the answer. He asked, “You wanna come with us to get something to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.”
And that was the answer he got from her every time he asked her to eat a meal. He started bringing food to the room, though—a slice of toast or a banana from the cafeteria. She’d eat at it without even paying attention, but she did eat, in spite of her insistence that she wasn’t hungry.
When it was evident that Ethan wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon, Brad gave Nick and Zane a wad of cash and asked them to find a cheap ass motel with two beds and a shower. That way they could sleep and shower when they needed to.
He called his boss on the second day, because he was scheduled for work the following day and, even if Ethan miraculously awakened that afternoon, there was no way in hell they’d make it back in time or that Brad would be in any shape to work. His boss was cool about it but asked him to keep in touch. He also canceled their shows for the following weekend, because even if Ethan was okay by then, he probably wouldn’t be ready to perform. He’d need some time to himself.
But Brad didn’t know how long he could keep all their lives on hold.
Val continued refusing to leave Ethan’s side as the days wore on, and it became evident that he wasn’t just going to sit up in bed and start talking. Brad knew what was going through Val’s mind. She was feeling guilty. She thought that if she and Brad hadn’t spent the night together, she somehow could have saved Ethan. Or, just like the thought he’d entertained himself, maybe she believed that Ethan knew what had happened with them and done it on purpose.
It was possible. It was something Brad had considered more than once.
It seemed like forever ago now, but he was sure he remembered them kissing in the suite, and that was what had prompted him to put her off and make her pissed off. Ethan could have seen that. And then he felt chills, because Ethan had, just that evening, been telling Val how much he loved her and wanted to get back with her. If Ethan had seen what had transpired between his best friend and the woman he apparently still loved, he very well could have decided to overdose. Ethan took everything in life hard, everything, and it was a possibility.
Yeah, Ethan made his own choices (and they were shitty choices at that), but if Brad and Val had pushed him over the edge like that?
God, that revelation hurt. It hurt badly. And he was never going to say a word to Val about it. It would be something he kept to himself for eternity.
* * *
A couple of days later, Brad, Nick, and Zane came back to the room, having finished breakfast, loaded with a couple of snacks for Val. When they walked in, Val was holding a cup of water up to Ethan’s mouth, her hand resting behind his neck.
Brad freaked out at first, thinking Val had finally gone over the edge. The woman hadn’t bathed in days, had hardly eaten a thing, and looked like hell. If that wasn’t guilt, he didn’t know what was. But when he first walked in, he was convinced she was fooling herself into pretending he was awake and was forcing water down his throat. As he got closer, though, he saw that Ethan’s eyes were open. He whispered to Nick to ask him to get a nurse. And it wasn’t long before they were all whisked out of the room so the staff could tend to Ethan.
Relief washed over Brad, and he excused himself to find a restroom. He found a tiny one down the hall that looked like one used for urinalyses. He locked the door and let the past week’s emotions overtake him. He hadn’t cried like that since he’d been a kid, and he hoped he never would again, but he had a lot of shit to let go and no punching bag around to beat the shit out of, so he sat on the toilet, rested his arm against the sink, dropped his head on his arm, and let it all out.
Somehow, he knew his life would never be the same.
* * *
They got back to Denver and tried to settle back into a routine, but it felt fake to Brad. None of them talked about it. Yeah, he understood that they felt relief that Ethan had pulled through, and it was a horrible thing, but no one wanted to talk about it. It was tucked away in a seemingly safe place.
It was like a time bomb.
Brad wanted some reassurances. He was at the end of his rope. Ethan was his brother and a brilliant musician, but Brad didn’t want to wonder and worry when the next time would be.
He felt like he was walking on eggshells, and he considered calling another team meeting to talk about what had transpired. But then he thought first that he should talk to Nick to see how he felt. Nick was the most reasonable of the bunch, the one most likely to tell him what he thought. So when he caught Nick outside the apartment after work, he asked him to take a walk. He was still wearing his work coveralls, but he needed to feel everyone out. “How you feeling?”
“What do you mean?”
“The past few weeks have been pretty emotional. You holding up okay, man?”
“Yeah.” Nick shrugged. He was quiet for a little bit but then said, “Things have been a little weird, though.”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I was thinking about calling a meeting.”
“You think that would help?”
Brad took a deep breath. “Honestly? I have no fucking idea. But…I hate the idea of waiting for the next time, you know? I’d like a promise from Ethan that we’re done with this phase of our lives.”
“You don’t really think he’d make a promise like that, do you?”
“No. Wishful thinking.”
They walked in silence for a minute and then Nick said, “You know what’s going on with Val and Ethan, right?”
A ringing started in his ears, and he felt dread as a shiver tickled his spine. He knew he wasn’t going to like what Nick had to say, but he needed to know. “What?”
Nick stopped walking and Brad turned to face him. “I’m only telling you this because it’s only fair to you. I’m not sure what all is or was going on between you and Val, but I don’t want—anyway, uh…Ethan proposed to Val.”
It felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs. When he got his bearings, he sucked in a deep breath of air. Had he heard Nick right? “What?”
/>
“Ethan asked Val to marry him. I, uh…don’t know if it’s totally official yet, but…”
Brad couldn’t hear him after that, and it felt as though the world turned black. He already knew. If Ethan proposed, he knew Val accepted. He felt numb.
Somehow he had the presence of mind to say, “Don’t say anything about me and Val to Ethan. That shit’s over.”
“Yeah. No way. It’s not like she was cheating on him.”
Brad felt like he was going to throw up. He grew quiet, walking back to the apartment with Nick, but his mind was trying to find a way to deal with the worst news it had ever received.
Chapter Forty-eight
BRAD SAT AT the bar nursing the mug of beer. His forearm still stung, but it was a temporary irritation he’d grown used to over the years.
He thought back over the past two hours. He’d been sitting in a chair getting new ink. He’d asked his tattoo artist to design a new one for him, something that had been begging to be part of his permanent story for a while. So now he glanced down at his left forearm to look at the spot that stung—the representation of an arrow. It looked much like what Brad imagined a Native American might have used hundreds of years ago. It was beautiful and colorful and fit right in with all the other tattoos on his arm.
They all held meaning for him. One of his first had become part of the montage on his upper right arm when he’d been eighteen. It was a small banner that was a cliché, but it said MOM. He’d shown it to his mother to soften the blow that her son had gotten an entire half sleeve of ink in less than two months. Others were simply cool designs that became borders around and between the pictures. Another in the initial half-sleeve was a bullet, meant to signify the first name of his band. It was a cool tattoo…dark with no color. Only his skin created the lighter areas of shading. But he also had a tattoo of a revolver, and underneath it were the words Fully Automatic. He’d had that one done just a month or so after meeting Val. What was it about that woman? What had it been about her then? Sure, she was pretty, but for a while now he’d been surrounded by pretty girls who wanted to feel like they were dating a not-too-dangerous bad boy. He’d never understood how he’d gotten that rep. He had his suspicions, though. The main reason was probably because he’d always hung out with Ethan, a guy who had earned the reputation…between his bouts with drugs, drinking, fighting, and a couple run-ins with the law in high school, not to mention the fact that he’d broken a lot of girls’ hearts too. The only thing Ethan ever seemed to give a shit about were himself, his mom, and his guitar. Brad sometimes.
Bullet Series Box Set Books 1-8 Page 126
