If I Was Your Woman: A BBW Camden Love Story

by Mz. Toni

  "Well you don't have to worry about that because like I said we are just friends, nothing more," I said hugging her. I understood where she was coming from although we met him around the same time she's actually been around him and knows him. If she says he's a dog then more than likely she's right, but I just can't shake these feelings that I'm developing for him. Leaving him in the back of my mind, I decided to talk about better things.

  "Soooooo you know I've been talking to my sister Shana right.”

  "Yessss come on girl spit it out," she said slapping me with a T-shirt.

  "Well in two weeks both of my sisters are coming over and I really want you there when they come just for support because you know I'm nervous as hell."

  "You don't even have to ask, you already know I'm in there especially if you're cooking," she said laughing.

  "So what's up with you and Mark? Come on bitch dish some dirt."

  "Well I got something to tell you," she said nervously.

  "Oh God you're pregnant, imma be an auntie, you already starting to show!" I said rubbing her stomach while laughing.

  "Bye Felicia I am not pregnant and I damn sure ain't showing," she said with a fake attitude.

  "Well why you acting nervous? You know I know you so come on."

  "We been fucking damn!" she screamed loud as hell causing some fat white lady to look our way in disgust.

  "Girl stop being loud like we ain't at work damn," I whispered to her.

  "I don't know why her sloppy odd bodied ass looking at us like that she need to be looking at that ugly floral shirt," she whispered back causing me to look at the lady. Sure enough, she looked like Mrs. Puff from SpongeBob SquarePants, holding up a shirt that looked like a damn tablecloth.

  "Girl let me go help this lady," I said shaking my head while laughing. Once the store was dying down, I asked Cam what happened with Mark.

  "Girl we been fucking for months, I just didn't want to tell anyone I guess because I was embarrassed. I felt like I shouldn't have forgiven him so easily," she said putting her head down.

  "Girl you love him and he loves you, fuck what anybody else thinks. If he makes you happy I say go for it because ain't nobody gonna fuck you but him, not me, not ya mama, and damn sure not them bitches around the way."

  "You’re right which is why I decided to give him another chance last night, I just pray that he doesn't make me regret the shit."

  "Naw he won't fuck up again so think all positive thoughts my fragile little butterfly," I said stroking her hair until we burst out laughing.

  Today went by fast as hell which I was glad about because now I had to go to the library to study for a few hours. Since Camille got dropped off by her boo, I didn't want to bother them and I damn sure ain't calling Kasan after all he did for me last night so the bus it is. I got my coat, book bag, and purse and met Cam outside to wait for my bus while she waited for Mark.

  "You sure you don't want a ride Shante?" Cam said with a worried look.

  "Yeah I'm good that's my bus pulling up now," I said hugging her and hopping on the bus.

  When I got to the library, I sat down and began to study. Truth is I still wasn't comfortable going home. I would normally ask Cam to come stay with me, and I had planned on it, but once she told me she was back with Mark I knew she would be staying over his house a lot. I mean they had a lot of catching up to do which consisted of talking and fucking. While studying my phone vibrated, I smiled when I saw who it was from.

  True Love: Hey Tae baby you always study alone?

  Shante: How do you know I'm studying I could be out on a hot date!

  True Love: In ya work clothes though lmao

  Shante: Whatever Kasan don't you got some bitches to entertain lol

  True Love: Nope too busy studying!

  I felt someone tap my shoulder and when I looked up sure enough, it was Kasan’s ass. I swear before last night I barely saw him, now I'm seeing him twice in a day.

  "What's up beautiful?"

  "Nothing studying what are you doing here?"

  "Well actually I came by your job to scoop you but Cam said you had caught the bus to the library," he said sitting next to me.

  "Oh ok well thank you for attempting to pick me up.”

  "You good. But check it I wanted to know what you were doing tonight."

  "Just studying then I'm gonna go home, why what's up?"

  "You wanna watch a movie?" he asked reading my mind. It’s like he knew me better than I knew myself. I know he knew I was scared to stay home.

  "That sounds cool, let me grab my stuff and we can go," I said closing my book and putting it back in my bag.

  When we got to my house I popped some popcorn and put Shottas in. It was a good thing we liked almost all the same movies because this was my favorite. We laid on the couch and only made it through half the movie before his phone started ringing. I wasn't his girl and we weren't fucking but he still showed me enough respect and put it on silent. We watched a few episodes of Martin after Shottas went off and before I knew it, we were both knocked out.

  Chapter 6

  (Shante)

  My night with Kasan was fun. It hurt to know that he didn't like me the way I liked him, but it’s cool, we've been hanging out a lot since that night a few weeks ago. He's cool as hell I don't mind having him as a friend. We have a connection that was undeniable, maybe it wasn't a sexual one and that's ok. After I got off work, I hurried to shower and get dressed. Tonight is the night I meet my sisters after fifteen years. I'm nervous as hell, palms all sweaty, I just hope they like me. It’s crazy because my oldest sister Shana was like a mom to me, everything my mom should have done, my sister Shana did. My mom was always mean to me, she said I was too smart for my own good but Shana didn't mind, she said I gave her life. She loved how smart I was at such a young age. I remember when I just turned four I was so excited to start preschool. My sister signed me up but when she went to drop me off the teacher informed us that my mom needed to bring me for the first day because there was some more paperwork she had to fill out. I remember being so hurt and disappointed I cried my eyes out.

  "Please Shana, I wanna go to school you promised," I cried.

  "Don’t cry baby I'm gonna make it happen," she said rubbing my face.

  "How? She said we need mom and she ain't gonna come."

  "Don’t worry big sis gonna take care of it, don't I always," she said confidently. I nodded my head yes. She walked away to go speak to the teacher, I don't know how she did it but fifteen minutes later she came back smiling telling me to grab my stuff I was starting that day.

  My big sister always came through in times of need. When we didn't know where our next meal would come from Shana always made it happen, that's why I was confused when she left without me. I wasn’t too surprised that Angel left, she was selfish and mean and when I was younger she would come home with food and eat it in my face. She was always hitting me for no reason, she was just horrible and for no reason. I hope she isn't like that now because I won't hesitate to whoop her ass if she tries some shit, I don't want to but I will.

  I lotioned up and got dressed. I decided to wear a black and white Marilyn Monroe shirt under a white blazer, black skinny jeans and my black and white Jordan’s. I washed my hair in the shower so I could have my natural curl, added some lip gloss and I was ready to go. They would be here to pick me up in an hour, as I waited my nerves were getting the best of me so I decided to call Cammy for support. As I dialed her number my doorbell rang, I jumped up nervous as hell as I went to open the door.

  What the hell they were an hour early, I said to myself as I swung the door open. Standing in front of me were Cammy, Mark and Kasan, I was beyond surprised to see Kasan standing there. We talked earlier on my lunch break and I explained to him that I would be reuniting with my sisters tonight. He gave me some words of encouragement but never mentioned that he would be stopping by. It’s crazy how much of a support system he's been in such a small period of time.<
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  Cammy interrupted my thoughts by pulling me in for a hug. I swear this girl never ceases to amaze me. "I was just about to call you," I said smiling.

  "I knew you would be nervous so I figured I'd just pop up."

  "Awww thanks bestie you know me so well. My palms are sweaty, I'm a nervous wreck and they'll be here in an hour," I said fidgeting. Kasan walked up and grabbed my hands kissing the back of each one.

  "Don’t worry you look beautiful and you’re a sweetheart, I know they'll love you," he said kissing my forehead.

  "Thanks for coming. You definitely surprised me by showing up here."

  "I already told you Shante, you officially have a friend in me. Ain’t no getting rid of me," he said laughing which caused me to laugh.

  I looked at Cammy and noticed her giving Kasan the stank eye like she was about to fuck him up. I don’t know what’s going on with those two but imma for damn sure find out. I thought they were cool like brother and sister, that's the way they used to act, but now it’s like she can't stand him. I'm gonna have to ask her about that later. Mark kissed my cheek and wished me luck. We started talking and listening to music and before I knew it, the doorbell was ringing. A whole hour had gone by and thanks to my friends, I didn't even notice. I stood up and opened the door and there stood Shana and Angel. My sister Shana hugged me tight while Angel played the background

  "You have grown to be such a beautiful young woman Shante," Shana said through tears.

  "Thank you sis, you're very pretty too," I said smiling. I loved being able to call her sis.

  Shana was gorgeous. She was 5'11, 180lbs, with almond shaped eyes. She was rocking the hell out of a cute short pixie cut. She had on a sweater dress, tights and a pair of riding boots. She was like me, cute and simple.

  "Aren’t you going to say hi?" Angel said with a snotty attitude.

  "I was going to get to you eventually," I said matching her rude tone. I embraced her tightly. Although I didn't like her attitude, she was still my sister and I was glad to have her back. She gave me the once over, turning her nose up like something stank.

  "I see that baby weight never left."

  "Angel! Why you say some shit like that?" Shana said stepping into her personal space.

  "It’s cool sis, I see a lot hasn't changed in fifteen years on her either. Her attitude still shitty and she still has that Latoya Jackson nose," I said laughing, so did Shana.

  "Bitch I will slap the shit out of you," Angel said stepping into my space.

  "Bitch I wish you would, I'm begging you to even try it," I said calmly and serious as a heart attack.

  "Alright everybody calm down, how about you invite us in?" Shana said trying to diffuse the situation.

  This was some bullshit. They haven't even walked into my house yet, ain't even been here five minutes and already I was ready to slap the shit out of my sister. I wanted to try to make this work so I welcomed them in my apartment so they could meet my friends before we went to dinner.

  "These are my older sisters Shana and Angel," I said introducing them to the gang.

  "Damn they fine," Angel said pushing past me.

  "I'm Angel, Shante’s big sister, and you are?" she asked flirting with Mark.

  "He's taken!" Cammy said with an attitude.

  "Oh ok you don't have to get base sweetie, I see you're one of those insecure types huh."

  "I’m not your sweetie and insecure never, I’m just letting you know when you see this, know that it belongs to me," Cammy said grabbing Marks dick. Angel was shocked that Cammy made such a bold move. We on the other hand weren't shocked at all, we started laughing. I swear Camille’s ass played no games when it came to her man.

  "Yo you a fucking trip!" Mark said as he kissed Cammy passionately.

  “Naw she a fucking trip. These thots be out of control so I gotta let em know that I don't play when it comes to mine!” Cammy said loudly.

  "Hi it’s nice to meet you guys, I’m Shana and I’m sorry about my sister's behavior," she said embarrassed.

  "Don't apologize for her girl she got the right chick, I'll mop her ass all up and down this house," Cammy said heated.

  "So do you have a girl too?" I heard Angel ask Kasan. I was heated because she was flirting with him, but he wasn't my man so what could I say.

  "Actually I do," Kasan said grabbing my waist and smiling. I was so confused but his touch felt so good. I decided to play along, shit who knows the next time I would get this kind of attention from Kasan’s confused ass, but I wasn't expecting what was said next.

  "Wait a minute, she's your girl?" my sister asked while laughing.

  "What the fuck is so funny?" Cammy asked rudely.

  "Cammy please chill, she's my sister and I really want us to at least try and get along," I pleaded. I knew my bestie and if she felt somebody was coming for me she definitely would fuck shit up.

  "Man this bitch may be ya blood, but she ain't no sister, not with all the shade she throwing. She got life all the way fucked up if she think this shit sweet."

  "I ain't throwing shade little girl, I was just shocked that a fine ass man like him would be messing with her," Angel said laughing hard.

  "Oh this funny looking bitch really trying it," Cammy said trying to break free of Mark’s hold.

  "Look, I think we should leave and I'll come alone next time," Shana said sadly.

  "Naw, why you gotta leave? That bitch can leave by herself, ole shade throwing donkey in the face bitch with her “Do You Remember the Time” nose having ass," Cammy said heated. Oh my God I was trying to stifle my laughter but I swear I couldn't and neither could anyone else.

  "You ain't gotta tell me twice, fuck all y'all, I didn't want to meet that fat bitch anyways!" Angel said grabbing her purse. I’ve had enough of her fucking mouth. I felt the tears falling from my eyes and before I knew it, I had slapped the shit out of my own sister.

  “I wanted to meet you because I don't have anyone. I wanted to reunite with my family, but fuck you too bitch with family like you and mom who the fuck needs enemies!" I screamed.

  "I can't believe you put your stinking hands on me! You wanna know why I've never liked your ass? It's because everything was good before mom got with that drug dealing daddy of yours and had your fat ass, she should have swallowed you," she said with venom in her voice, causing a chill to run down my spine. As soon as those words left her mouth I didn't even have time to react because Cammy punched her dead in her shit knocking her right on her ass.

  “I’m so tired of your fucking mouth bitch. My sis invites you to her home and this is what you do,” Cammy said kicking her. Before she could kick her again Mark came and grabbed her.

  "You still got people fighting your battles huh, first Shana now this short bitch!" Angel said spitting out blood.

  "Ain’t nobody gotta fight my battles trick, I just know when somebody ain't worth it," I said shaking my head.

  "Yeah whatever, you'd be dead right now if it wasn't for Shana saving you like she always did," she said laughing. But before she could finish, Shana slapped her face.

  "You did it, how could you do that to your own sister," Shana said crying. I didn't know what the fuck was going on.

  "Look Shante, I’m so sorry all of this happened, I love you so much and I'll call you tomorrow to explain everything," Shana said kissing my cheek and rushing out with Angel, closing the door behind her.

  "I fucking hate that bitch, I swear she hasn't seen me in fifteen years and this is the shit she pulls," I said heated.

  "Calm down baby girl, don't let her get you all worked up, she ain't even worth it," Kasan said rubbing my back.

  "I don’t understand why nobody loves me, why am I cursed, what have I done to deserve this life?" I said balling in his arms.

  "You're not cursed, you've just been dealt a fucked up hand, but it will get better. You had Cammy and Mark but now you have me and your oldest sis too, we all the family you need," he said smiling. Looking at Kasan I wanted not
hing more than to jump on him. He was looking real tasty but I had to keep telling myself that we were friends and nothing more.

  "What y'all in here doing?" Cammy said giving Kasan the evil eye.

  "Nothing we’re just talking Cammy," I said jumping up. I don't know why she had me nervous like I just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. I don’t know why she starts acting funny when she sees me interacting with Kasan; I’m starting to think maybe she’s feeling him.

  "Well I'm gonna go holla at my cuz about some shit, don't let this get you down Tae baby," Kasan said kissing my cheek and walking out my room.

  "What the hell was that about?” Cammy asked.

  "Nothing, he was just making sure I was good."

  "Uh huh looks like love's in the air so be careful."

  "Girl how many times I gotta tell you we not on it like that," I said laughing.

  "Uh huh well me and Mark want to take you out since shit with your sisters went left."

  "Thanks bestie but I’m gonna just stay in, I'm not even feeling being around other people right now," I said sadly.

  "We can order some food and watch House Party, come on you know you want to."

  "Naw don't think I forgot you and Mark were supposed to go on a date tonight, he been busy lately and you've been planning this for weeks. Go head I'm good, have fun with ya man."

  "You sure?" she asked skeptically.

  "I’m positive, I’m good."

  "Alright well we gonna head out, but you know I'm only a phone call away," she said hugging me. I heard my front door close as I laid in my bed until I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 7

  (Shana)

  "I can't believe you pulled that shit," I said to Angel livid that she would act a fucking fool at Shante’s house.

  "Man fuck her, you know I didn't want to go anyways,” she said nonchalantly.

  “So it was you that turned the gas on huh?” I asked sadly.

  “It’s her fault that all those niggas raped us, but every time I turn around you taking up for her,” she said angrily.

  “See that’s where you get it fucked up. It wasn't her fault or her dad’s, mom was grown. She decided to use those drugs, mom was weak and still is,” I said honestly.