If I Was Your Woman: A BBW Camden Love Story

by Mz. Toni

  "Oh shit this is my song!" I screamed walking to the dance floor. I looked over and saw Kasan staring so I made sure I gave him a show, he was definitely gonna see what he was missing tonight. While dancing, I looked around at my surroundings and noticed Tremayne too. I was glad he was ok but knowing that he wasn't hurt and had been purposely ignoring my calls pissed me off, so this show was gonna be for both of they asses.

  "I ran into your homeboys they're all fucking idiots you're not even my boyfriend but they trippin cuz I'm in the club, yeah that's right I'm dancing and something cool is in my cup imma send a sexy picture to remind you of what you're giving up," I sang while swaying my hips with my cup in my hand. I was having fun until I saw Tremayne walking up to me.

  "Yo what's up?"

  "Oh now you want to talk to me?" I smirked and walked away.

  "Yo stop playing with me Shante!"

  "No you stop playing with me Tremayne, I been calling you for days and you couldn't just let me know you were ok!" I snapped with my hand on my wide hips.

  "Can we go somewhere to talk please?"

  "I can't, I came with my sisters and I'm not leaving them!" I said with an attitude.

  "Alright well can I stop by your house after you leave?"

  "Ok Kasan," I replied. Before I could get another word out, he walked away. Damn I can't believe I just called him Kasan. Maybe he didn't hear me because I'm sure a nigga like him would have snapped. I continued to dance my life away and drink while sending subliminal messages to Kasan. I know we were tipsy as hell, but me and my girls were having the time of our lives. Finally, we were tired and ready to go.

  "I saw you singing to me," Kasan whispered in my ear.

  "Whatever bestie you better get home to your girl."

  "Cut the bullshit, do you really think I'm still with her after what she did?" he said disgusted.

  "You right, but I gotta go find the girls, I'll see you on Tuesday for movie night," I said hugging him and walking over to Camille.

  "Thanks for talking me into doing this!" Camille said hugging me.

  "No problem bestie that's what I'm here for."

  "Well with that said, I got some catching up to do with my man," she said laughing and walking away.

  "Well I guess it’s just me and you now," I said to Shana.

  "Girl you see that hottie over there? Well he invited me to breakfast, you can come with us though," she said sympathetically.

  "Girl go ahead have fun, you’re a free woman now," I said laughing.

  "And then there was one," I thought as I hopped in my car and headed home. When I pulled up, Tremayne was waiting for me. I had completely forgotten I told him we could talk after the club.

  "How long you been out here?"

  "Not long," he replied keeping it short, I could tell he was upset about something. We walked into the house and he sat on my couch.

  "So are you going to tell me why you couldn't answer my calls?" I asked impatiently.

  "We were supposed to get together that day and you stood me up."

  "Is that what this is about? If you would have answered my calls you would have known that my niece was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia!" I snapped.

  "That's all good and shit, but why the fuck did my boy see you all curled up in that nigga Kasan’s arms?"

  "He was being supportive and comforting me, Tremayne. What the fuck you already knew me and him were close."

  "Yeah aight Shante. If that’s the case, why didn't you call me to comfort and support you huh? I'm ya man right, I'm your fucking man not that nigga!" he screamed standing up and pointing in my face.

  "It was a family thing, I needed my close family there," I said not knowing that I had just hurt his feelings.

  "Wow that's how you coming Shante? I asked you if you had feelings for this nigga and you lied, got me walking around like a fucking dummy. How the fuck do you think I felt when my homeboy told me ‘oh Shante good I saw her hugged up with some nigga at cooper’ while I'm blowing ya phone up thinking you hurt and shit !"

  "I understand Tre but please stop screaming in my face!"

  "Naw you don't understand. You got me claiming your ho ass while you fucking that nigga, but still ain't give me the pussy!" he said angrily.

  "I'm not fucking him Tre he's just my friend."

  "Oh that's why you called me this nigga name at the club right? You didn't think I heard your disrespectful ass huh."

  "Look you're not just gonna keep talking to me like this so I need you to leave!" I snapped.

  "Not until you tell me the truth, then I'll never hit you up again."

  "Yes, I am in love with Kasan," I admitted.

  "I knew it you fucking bitch!" he yelled slapping fire out of my ass. He didn't stop there he continued to slap, punch and kick me. He was big as hell so I couldn't do shit but ball up in the fetal position to try to protect my face.

  "You got me looking like a lame in these streets. I could get any bitch I want and I settled for you fat ass and this is what you do!" he screamed slapping me before walking out the door.

  I was so sore that I didn't even bother to move, I couldn't believe that he would get that fucking mad. I never promised him anything and I actually did care about him. I was grown enough to admit when I was wrong and maybe I shouldn't have gotten with anyone knowing I still had feelings for someone else. After being on the floor all night, I finally got my ass up, went into the bathroom and ran my bath. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw when I looked in my mirror. My lips were swollen, my eye was black and I had his handprint on my face, I couldn't do shit but cry. My face didn't even look this bad when I got into the fight with the drug dealer. I took my clothes off and cried even more when I saw all the bruises on my ribs and stomach. I felt my side and knew that my ribs were either cracked or fractured and that I had to go to the hospital soon. I soaked my body in the tub and washed the best I could. When I got out an hour later, I felt a little better. I looked at my phone and saw that Kasan, Shana and Camille had all tried calling me. After I threw on some sweatpants, I crawled into my bed. I ended up sleeping for eight hours and when I woke up my side was on fire, I could barely move, I needed help badly. I grabbed my phone and called Shana, Camille and I even tried to call Camille's mom. When nobody answered, I sucked it up and called Mark.

  "What's up sis?"

  "Nothing, where's your wife?"

  "Her and her mom went to the movies."

  "Oh okay well I need a favor."

  "Aight talk to me."

  "I just need you to come pick me up and take me to Cooper."

  "Cooper? What the fuck she need to go to the hospital for?" I heard Kasan say worried.

  "Dammit Mark you got me on speaker what the fuck!"

  "My bad sis I'm feeding Mylee," he said apologetically.

  "It’s cool can you come get me."

  "Naw Kasan just left to pick you up."

  "Fuck!" I screamed hanging up on Mark. Not even ten minutes later, Kasan was banging on my door and I couldn't even get so up to answer it so I texted him letting him know it should be open.

  "Yo what the fuck I tell you about leaving the door unlocked!" he screamed walking into the room. When he saw me, he ran to my side.

  "What happened to you, who did this?" he asked pissed.

  "Kasan please not now, I'm in pain and I want to get to the hospital," I said aggravated and in pain. Carefully picking me up, he took me to his trick and laid me in the back. When we got to the hospital, the wait wasn't long. Kasan stayed by my side the whole time texting on his phone. The doctor came in and let me know I had four cracked ribs. I looked over and saw Kasan chewing on the inside of his cheek, so I knew he was pissed.

  "So what happened Shante and please don't lie?" he asked through gritted teeth.

  "Kasan please just leave it alone it's not a big deal!"

  "Fuck is you stupid? You laying here with four broken ribs, a black eye, a busted lip and bruises all over your body and you saying it
ain't a big deal. Tell me who did it right now!" he screamed heated.

  "It was Tremayne ok!" I yelled back.

  "On everything I love that niggas a dead man walking," Kasan threatened.

  "Please don't hurt him Kasan he didn't mean to," I said sounding stupid as hell.

  "So you love that nigga to the point you gonna let him get away with this shit?" he said shaking his head looking disgusted with me.

  "No I don't love him, but it's my fault he did this. He found out that I'm in love with you even after he asked me I still lied, I made him look weak."

  "Man fuck that he made himself look weak. I don't give a fuck what you did that doesn't give him the right to put his hands on a fucking woman, especially my woman."

  "But that's the thing Kasan, I'm not your fucking woman, you had the chance to be with me and you didn't want me," I screamed at him.

  "I know a nigga fucked up but you got my heart Tae baby. Damn, can't you see I'm in love with you?"

  "I gave you my heart, my soul, my virginity and my friendship and you threw it away so now that you love me back what the fuck you want me to do, welcome you back?" I asked crying.

  "I've known I was in love with you from the moment we met at Mark's house Shante, but I didn't think I was good enough for you," he said honestly.

  "You not good enough for me? Why would you think that? You got money, cars, hoes and bitches," I said laughing.

  "And you never cared about any of that, never asked me for anything. You’re special and everyone knows it, even that bitch nigga Tre, that's why he was so mad that you didn't want his ass," he said.

  "I love you Shante, I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you. I'm in love with you girl and I need you," he said kissing me passionately. The kiss must have lasted a while because before I knew it, Camille, Mark and Ms. Betty were surrounding me.

  "Awww I got my daughter-in-law finally," Ms. Betty said causing everyone to laugh.

  "So what's up, do you forgive a nigga or not?" he said kissing my forehead.

  "Yes babe I forgive you," I replied blushing.

  "Alright well the women are gonna stay with you while me and Mark go handle something," he said kissing me again and turning to walk away, I grabbed his shirt. I knew as a man this was something he needed to do.

  "I love you babe, please come back to me," I said as a tear slid down my cheek.

  He winked and walked out. Mark gave Cam a kiss and whispered in her ear and they were gone.

  A month has gone by since the incident with Tremayne, I haven't heard from him nor have I tried to reach out to him and I'm fine with that. I never asked Kasan what him and Mark did because I honestly didn't want to know. Me and Kasan have been glued to the hip since we made it official and I wouldn't want it to be any other way. I loved this man with all my heart. Yeah we were still getting to know each other and every day I learned something that made me love him even more than I did before. We aren't perfect, but what relationship is.

  Chapter 30

  (Kasan)

  I love Shante!!! I didn't care who didn't like it. Yeah hoes still tried to get at ya boy, but I was doing a good job blocking them hoes because my girl was enough for me. I'm the only nigga she has ever been with; the only nigga she has ever loved and she treat me good as hell. I come home to dinner, a good fuck and she knows how to roll a nice blunt now. I definitely wasn't going anywhere, this was wifey and the sooner these hoes learned their role, the better. We been together for a month now and yeah I ain't gonna lie, I fucked dude up bad for touching mine, but I didn't kill him even though I wanted to. Shante never brought up or asked what happened and I'm glad because that shows that she doesn't give a fuck about that nigga. That nigga was her past and I was her present and future, so fuck him. I was on my way to go pick up Shante so we could have our movie night with Mark and Camille. Me and Mark hated the shit but whatever made our girls happy, we were all about doing it. When I pulled up, Shante was already waiting outside looking tasty as hell in her sundress and sandals. The wind kept blowing and her dress was flying but I swear if I saw a hint of her pussy she was taking her ass back inside to change.

  "What's up Tae baby?" I asked hugging her.

  "Nothing, you’re late like usual," she said kissing me with her soft lips.

  "My bad, you know that nigga Mark ain't gonna be ready, they probably fucking as we speak," I said laughing.

  "I know, I think they trying to have another baby, but shit Mylee only one."

  "When we gonna start working on our baby?" I asked grabbing her butt.

  "When you put a ring on this finger and stop coming in the house whenever you feel like it," she said moving my hands. We got in the car and pulled off. On the way, my phone started ringing; looking at the screen, I saw it was Carlos.

  "What's up old man?"

  "Same shit different day son."

  "I feel you, so we good?"

  "Yeah but I need you to come see me like now," he said with urgency.

  "Aight but I got my girl with me is that cool?"

  "Yeah bring her. I wanted to meet her anyways."

  "I got you," I said hanging up.

  "Change of plans, we have to go see Carlos."

  "Oh that's cool. It’s good that I'm about to put a face to the name," Shante said laughing. I called Mark to cancel and he didn't care anyways, just like I said that nigga wasn't even ready. When I pulled up to Carlos’ mini mansion, I helped Shante out the car and we walked in hand in hand.

  "Hello sir," his butler said.

  "What's up, I'm here to see Carlos."

  "He is expecting you, right this way," he said leading up to a huge dining room. The table was laid out with all kinds of Spanish and soul food, I was wondering what the occasion was.

  "Have a seat and he'll join you shortly."

  "Wow babe this is beautiful," Shante said in awe.

  "Yeah Carlos is that nigga, he's like a father to me," I explained.

  "Oh he's the one that gave you a job when you were back in NY right?"

  "Yeah, I told you about that?"

  "Yup briefly that night at the hotel."

  "Oh okay. Yeah he's been grooming me to take over the business since then."

  Me and Shante talked for a little before Carlos came into the dining room.

  "So this is the woman that stole my son's heart," he said standing behind us. When Shante stood up and turned around, he looked like he had seen a ghost. I wasn't sure what happened but he bounced back.

  "You’re even more beautiful than he described," he said kissing her hand.

  "Thank you," she blushed.

  "Aight now back off old man," I said jokingly, grabbing Shante’s arm. For the next three hours, we laughed, joked and told stories. I was glad that pops and Shante were hitting it off because now that Carlos was retiring in New Jersey, we would be seeing a lot of him.

  "Shante can I steal him away for a little?" Carlos asked kindly.

  "Oh sure, just make sure you bring him back," she replied laughing. Me and Carlos went to his office; he had a serious look on his face as he sat down and pulled out an envelope. Pulling out tons of pictures, I stared at them.

  "Who's the little girl?"

  "That's my daughter."

  "Oh ok, so you're gonna find her?" I asked confused.

  "I already did son."

  "That's what's up. Are you gonna reach out to her?"

  "Well that's the thing, your girlfriend is my daughter," he said calmly.

  "Get the fuck out of here!" I replied shocked.

  "Yup. I always kept pictures from when she was younger and from the moment I saw her I knew it was my baby girl, but the birthmark on her arm proved it," he said smiling. Rolling up his shirtsleeve, he showed me his birthmark on his forearm. The crazy part was Shante had the same exact birthmark in the same exact spot.

  "So when are you gonna tell her?" I asked while pouring myself a drink.

  "No time like the present," he said getting up and walking
to the dining room. Shante was sitting down on her phone when she saw us staring at her.

  "Well is someone gonna speak?" she asked laughing.

  "Yeah. Remember you told me about your dad?"

  "Yeah but can't we talk about this later?"

  "No, not really Shante because I'm your father baby."

  "Oh really, you're my dad? Did you know?" she asked looking at me.

  "I just found out babe, I swear," I pleaded.

  "I'm ready to go Kasan. Now!" she screamed.

  "Please baby girl hear me out."

  "Fuck you!! Kasan let's go!" she said storming out of the door.

  "I'll call you pops she's just shocked and upset, but she'll come around," I said walking to my car but before I could get there, a truck pulled up and started shooting. Carlos’ security instantly pulled out their weapons and shot back. My only focus was getting to Shante to protect her. Grabbing my gun, I busted back as I quickly made my way to Shante, by then the shooting had stopped.

  “Babe come on them niggas dead!” I said as I opened my car door only to find Shante leaned over the seat with her hands covering her head, trying to hide.

  “Where's my baby girl?” Carlos asked coming up behind me.

  “She right here but she won't get out the car, she must be in shock,” I said.

  “Shante come on you safe now!” I said pulling her body up only to find that she'd been shot.

  “No no no no!!!” I screamed as I pulled her body out of the car. Cradling her, I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes.

  “What the fuck are y'all motherfuckers standing around for, get help!” Carlos screamed to his security detail. As the tears poured from his eyes, I couldn't help but feel even worse for him, he had literally just got his child back. As Shante coughed up blood, I tried to apply as much pressure as I could to her wounds.

  “I love you Tae baby you can't leave me!”

  “Please don't leave me, I need you!” I screamed while holding her tight.

  “I love you Kasan,” she whispered weakly. Leaning over, I kissed her bloody lips. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Sirens could be heard approaching and that gave me hope that she would be fine, but looking at her eyes flutter I knew she wouldn't be.