by Bry Ann
“Sage.”
What I’m met with has my heart sinking.
Sage is curled up on the bed in a tiny ball, sweating harder than makes sense for the little time I was gone. Her cheeks are tinged pink and her hair is matted to her face. She’s rocking around wildly and screaming, begging to be saved. Over and over. Never giving up. I try to be strong, but I can’t stop how helpless I feel. I can’t keep myself from crying.
“Sage,” I choke. “Sage, please come back.”
I put one knee on the bed, testing the waters. Her body goes completely rigid with terror and her screaming stops. But it’s in every inch of her marrow how scared she is.
“Sage, please.”
I back off the bed.
“Sage, it’s Nix. Come back to me. You’re safe. I promise.”
I wipe the tears dropping from my eyes.
“Get away from me!” she shrieks, letting a hand fly out wildly. “No. No. Not Nix… No.”
“It’s me, brave girl.”
Nothing. More begging. I have to do something.
I quietly walk to the side of the bed. I debate heavily what I’m about to do, plead with Sage some more, before just doing it.
I grab Sage by the shoulders and pull her slippery body into me. The second I touch her, all motion, all sound freezes. She completely stops talking. Stops moving. I have to put my hand in front of her mouth to see if she’s still breathing.
I cradle her against me and scoot forward to lean against the headboard.
“You’re safe. You’re safe, Sage.”
I feel when she starts to wake. Her body remains tight, but her muscles loosen.
“Hey,” I whisper, rubbing her sweaty hair back. My heart throbs when the strands end way too soon. She loved her hair. I loved it, too. For Rod to cut it… I mean, Jesus, hasn’t this woman given enough to men without them having to steal one of the few things that makes her feel confident in herself? Shit, I forgot to tell her father about her hair. Fuck. He’s very shallow. He needs to know so he can school the right reaction. He, more than anyone else, has the power to absolutely shatter whatever confidence she has left.
“Nix?”
“Hey, brave girl. It’s so good to hear your voice.”
Sage lets out a long sigh and drops her head onto me, exhausted. At least she’s stopped apologizing to me for her bad dreams.
“You don’t have to hold me. I’m covered in sweat.”
“Don’t care.”
My voice is strained. I know it is.
“How was your sister?” Sage shifts so she’s sitting crisscross on the floor in front of me. Maybe it’s ‘cause I love her so much, but her hair is so cute. It’s all over the place and definitely needs the work of a hairdresser to even it out, but she’s so damn cute. It makes her big eyes pop. It makes her look so tiny. I just wanna kiss her and show her how beautiful I fucking think she is, but I can’t with her mind like this. I have to help her. I have to fix the damage my father caused. I have to get her to think she’s beautiful again first.
But first… I shake my head, trying to grasp the drastic topic change. I blink at her. “Wait… what?”
Her nightmare. That’s the priority. Why are we talking about my sister?
She smiles a little and cups my cheek for a moment. “Your sister, Rose. I heard Rod talking. They wanted you to keep her safe from something. Is she okay? What was it like meeting her? Are you happy? Did it uplift your soul to meet a family member who isn’t evil?”
“Slow down. You’re my focus right now. Let’s get you cleaned up and let’s…” I squeeze my fingers into my eyes, literally shoving the tears back. “Sage, I’m so fucking worried about you. You didn’t need this.”
“It’s okay. It’s okay. Really.”
Her tiny hands, cold and clammy, frantically skid up my forearms.
“Nix, I promise. I’ll be okay.”
“Sage”— I practically leap on her —“please say you’ll get help. Please. For me, if you have to. I’m so fucking scared I’m gonna lose you. You need help. When I pulled you from that treatment center all those years ago, I didn’t think you’d deny all help. Sage, I need you to do this now. After the shit with Rod… fuck, please. Please.”
“What?” She pushes to her feet and throws her hands on her hips. “You wish you hadn’t gotten me out now!”
“No, I wish I never promised you I would. I would never break a promise I already made you.”
She glares hard at me.
“I’m scared, Sage!”
She opens her mouth with her eyes blazing fire, but closes it, goes to the bathroom, and slams the door.
“Fuck!”
I grab the lamp off the counter and throw it against the wall. I don’t give a fuck if it shatters. Fucking hell.
I go to my car, grab Pam and the Kindle, stick it outside the bathroom door, pen a note saying I’m going out, and drive off.
I have shit to do.
I have to do… something.
Because I don’t know how to help the one person I care about.
I drive straight to Rod’s.
Gun in tow.
Knife in hand. Well, wrapped around my ankle.
As soon as I get to Rod’s, I kick the door down and throw my gun out in front of my body.
“Rod!” I roar.
“Jesus fuck, kid. I didn’t touch her,” he grumbles, trudging into the room like a fucking sloth.
Once he enters the room, his eyes flicker from me to the gun several times.
“What is this? You can’t kill me.”
I feel my eyes flash. “Sit.”
“You can’t kill me,” he sneers.
“Sit the fuck down and don’t test me right now.”
With a scowl, he slowly lowers his body down onto the couch.
“You’re gonna tell me every last detail of your time with Sage.”
“Nothing happened, Nixon!”
“I didn’t ask that. Talk.”
I flick the gun up for emphasis.
“You really are your father’s son,” he grumbles.
I shoot two inches from his foot.
“Shut up and talk.”
“I don’t feel like reliving that miserable-ass time. I’ll make a deal. You ask your thing about our time together instead of this whole charade and I’ll tell you something about your sister.”
Focus on the bracelets. Don’t fucking shoot Rod. You don’t need that nightmare, Nix. Think of how much you’ll have to deal with from Aaron if you do.
I let out a deep breath.
“You know nothing about my sister that could interest me. I have contact with her now, motherfucker. Sage, get talking.”
“Oh,” he laughs. It’s a laugh I know well. It’s the laugh Aaron always lets slip when he’s one step ahead of me. “Trust me, this will interest you.”
“Is Rose in trouble?” I ask immediately, feeling my heart pound. Maybe, despite everything, I do still love her. Maybe just in a different way.
“Tsk, tsk, kiddo.” I fucking hate when he calls me that. I could kill him. He’s the one sitting on the couch like a pussy. I’m the one with the gun. “You remember the deal. Take the gun off me, and I ain’t sayin’ shit about Sage. I’m over that whole nightmare situation.”
Sage, Rose, Sage… I search Rod’s face. That fucking laugh. It’s haunting me. I lower my gun slightly with a sigh.
“Tell me what you know about Rose.”
“Put your gun away.”
I chuckle lowly. “You think I was born yesterday? Gun stays by my side, but I’ll put it away once you tell me what I want to know. And no, I won’t make you tell me about Sage.”
He thinks on it for a second before smirking.
“Aaron’s no idiot.”
“I’ve never taken him for one.”
“He knows your loyalty still lies with that girl.”
I stay silent.
“He also knows that if he kills Sage off, he’ll lose you.”
Well, this is the first time Aaron’s underestimated me, because he lost me just for touching Sage.
“But your sister, on the other hand… just saying, Aaron would do anything to keep you in line.”
“He’s gonna hurt Rose? Why the fuck would he do that? She’s his… prized thing, whatever. He’d never hurt her. Why?”
“Your jealousy of your sister hinders you. You always think she’s his prized possession. Yes, as one of his children, she has a use. For sure. But you, Nix, you’re his trophy. You’re his work of art. He’s in prison and you’re the one out there representing him. More than me. More than anyone. When he dies, you’re his legacy. You’re how he goes on. And whether or not you hate him, you are the perfect student. The perfect little slave. He easily controls you. You’re him and he’ll do anything to keep it that way.”
The sick, broken little boy inside of me is so happy to this hear this. Happy to hear that all the years of torture I endured earned me his approval. But a bigger part of me, a part that’s grown these past five years, is sickened by that. It disgusts me.
“I’m not my father.”
He smirks, but says nothing.
“I’m not,” I growl, tucking my gun away.
“Quit bitching and get out of my fucking house. Your little girlfriend doesn’t fucking sleep, so I’m tired as hell.”
Without a word, I trudge out of his apartment and grab my cell phone.
“Sven,” I bark into the phone. “We need to talk.”
As soon as I found out about the danger to my sister, I knew I had to go out of town. I decided immediately, until I know more of what is going on and what my — our — father has planned, to go to the mansion where Rose now lives with Sven. At least until Sven gets back from the ‘business’ trip he just left for. Just to be sure she’s protected while he isn’t there. I know he’ll protect her when I can’t, but I feel better knowing one of the two of us is with her until I’m certain Aaron isn’t gonna try and fuck with her. She’s far too delicate.
I’m bombarded immediately by Rose when I arrive. She’s angry and emotional, demanding to know why I didn’t say bye when I left her last time. Which… I completely didn’t. When I got wind of Sage’s location, I just took off. So it makes sense that she’s demanding to know how I could just bust the news on her that I was her brother back at the motel and then leave without a word.
I’m an asshole.
I didn’t even think about it, to be honest. I should have. I remember the look on her face when I told her. The betrayal in her eyes…
Rose’s blue eyes bore into me, terrified and confused, flickering back and forth between Sven and I in the tiny motel room we were crammed in.
I hissed out a deep breath.
I owed this to her. Rod wasn’t letting Sage go. They were gonna fuck with Sage and I either way.
“Rose. I… Shit, this is hard. Rose, Sven didn’t kill me back at the cabin because I’m your brother. We are related. Same mom, same dad, different life. My blood, my DNA is just as corrupt as yours, except I act on it and you’ve fought it. Quit hating yourself.”
“You’re lying!” Rose whispered. “I don’t have anyone.”
“I’m not lying Rose,” I whispered. If only she knew however hard it was for her to accept, it’s always been ten times harder for me.
“YES, YOU ARE!” she screamed, vibrating with tension.
That’s when I saw it in her eyes. The bone-deep betrayal when she looked at me. The heartbreak. I was just another person on her list of people who let her down.
I hated it!
It’s not that I never wanted to tell her, I just couldn’t. Not without risking someone’s life. Who’s in particular depended on the time in my life, but it was always someone.
I had to be the bad guy to do the right thing.
I didn’t think about the fact that she really had no idea I even existed. I’d always known about her. She’d always been some sort of enigma in my life, but for her, I never existed. When Aaron was arrested, she was all alone. Then I just left. I didn’t consider her at all. That’s something Aaron would do.
Shit.
What if Rod’s right? Fuckin’ hell.
I throw my stuff down on the bed of the guest room I’m staying in, for the night, at least.
Bzzzz. Bzzzz.
I glance at my ringing cell phone with a despondent expression. I rarely crave alcohol, but right now, I’m hitting my threshold of stress. I’m not ready to talk to Rod, Sven, or whatever other asshole is on the other end of this line.
I narrow my eyes at the screen. I immediately snatch it up when I see the name.
Sage.
She rarely calls me, if ever. I can’t remember the last time she initiated a call while I was working.
I pick it up but say nothing. I can feel her presence on the other end of the line, but it’s silent for a long time. Tense. She has to initiate this one. I just can’t. I know I shouldn't be, but I’m so damn angry with her. She won’t just talk to someone. Doesn’t she get that I fucking need her? I need her to be happy, and she refuses to put the work into herself. It’s driving me mad.
But God, she was just kidnapped by my father’s men. I’m a complete bastard.
“Are you safe?” she finally asks in a small voice.
“I’m at my sister’s,” I tell her quietly.
“Oh, good. I’m glad you’re, uh, fostering that… relationship,” she whispers.
I almost snort. Yeah, if that’s what you’d call this fucked up mess she’s dragged me into.
“Hmm-hmmm, sure.”
“Give her a chance, Nix. I know—”
“I’m not discussing this.” I can’t. “It’s not you,” I add. “I’m just not ready. The scars are still raw and I really just met her. It’s a bit of a mess over here.”
“Oh, are you okay?”
I hate to be a jerk, but it feels good to have someone ask about how I am before asking about Rose.
“I’m okay, princess,” I whisper. “I… I’m sorry I was mean.”
“No, it’s okay. You were scared. For me. I get it. I do. I just… Nix, I can’t go back there. Even for you. I can’t. I’ll lose my mind. What if I become like Tammy?”
Ah, Essie. Her fear makes more sense now. If Essie was one of the only people she interacted with during her time in hell, and a mentor of sorts from what I’ve gathered, it would make sense that she would take her cues from her.
“Let’s not discuss this over the phone.”
The silence stretches. I can almost feel her biting her lip.
“I don’t wanna sound desperate or anything. I’m not that girl. I don’t wanna be, but you’re… you’re coming home, right?”
Wait. What?!
“What? Of course! Why would you even ask me that?”
“I don’t know. Sorry.”
“No, uh-uh, you know. Why, Sage?”
“I don’t want you to think I can’t handle your life. I know you love me, Nix. I know you’d never leave because I’m struggling, but you would leave if you felt your life was too much for me.”
I stay silent for a long time.
“I’m not sure I could ever leave you, angel.”
“But… even…”
“I’ll protect you. I’ll keep you safe. I won’t leave you. That will never be the answer for us.”
“But you said you regret taking me home with you.”
“I said I regret pulling you from treatment. Sage, babe, you need help. I regret pulling you out early.”
“That was the best day of my life. You gave me the freedom of choice for the first time in my life.”
And you regret it… are the unsaid words.
I hiss out a breath.
“I don’t regret giving you a choice. I just… you need help, babe. You need help and that place was good. I want your happiness more than anything, but I also want what’s best for you.”
She doesn’t say anything.
“We’ll get back to this. I’m gonna be going back and forth between our house and my sister’s…” mafia mansion. “There’s a lot of shit going down on this end. I can’t abandon her.”
“Okay,” Sage says softly. “I’m happy to hear that. Let me know if I can help in any way.”
“Alright, I—”
“Um so, oh, sorry if I cut you off.”
“No, you’re fine. Go ahead.”
“I think I’m gonna go to my dad’s for the night. My mom can help me fix my hair, and I promise Dad will keep a close eye on me. I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”
“Shit, God, I’m an asshole for leaving you after what you just went through! Fuck.”
“Nix, stop. You saved me. You’re the hero of this story. Stop making yourself the villain.”
“You are biased. My father is the reason you were taken from your home and I had the nerve to leave you alone the same night you were rescued.”
“I’m not innocent in this, Nix.”
“I’m just staying the night here. Sven’s not even in town and I need to talk to him. I’ll be home tomorrow. Have your father pick you up himself. No staff. I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”
“Yay. I’m happy to hear that. I’ll make dinner. My readers need a new recipe anyway. I’ve been away for too long. They’re gonna wonder where I’ve been. Can you maybe rent a movie? We need a night, Nix.”
“I know, princess. I have ideas. Make us something good for dinner. I admit I’ve slipped on the vegan train.”
She snorts. “I’m gonna make this dinner so vegan to torture you, then. Tofu, broccoli, hemp seeds, the works.”
“Can’t wait.”
“That doesn’t give you license to eat a shit ton of beef jerky at Rose’s place.”
“I haven’t had beef jerky since I met you… officially.”
“That makes me love you more.”
I chuckle. “More cows saved!”
“And turkeys, Nix. They even have salmon jerky, too, now. So we save fish as well.”
“That’s good to hear, babe.”
She laughs softly. “I love you. I can’t wait to have our night tomorrow.”
“Me either, babe. Me either.”
