Hunger for You (Shadow Shifters: Damaged Hearts)

by A. C. Arthur

  He’s probably still beating and raping my mother. She doesn’t want to be saved, so I stopped thinking about saving her long ago.

  All these thoughts flooded into my mind the moment Dex grabbed my wrist. My body had shivered all over, my vision going blurry in those next few seconds. Bile rose in my throat and I thought for sure I would lose it right there in the middle of the bar, in front of all those people. And then the part of me that I’d hidden so well would surely be revealed. I would be devastated.

  Swallowing deeply, taking deep breaths had helped. I hadn’t vomited, nor had I fainted or broken out into hysterical screams. I’d stood perfectly still, breathing, while his fingers were so tight I knew there would be a bruise tomorrow. As a matter of fact, I hated that there would be a bruise tomorrow.

  I’d been seeing him for about five weeks now. He’d come into the bar late one night and looked like a brooding hero, like Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights. His thick eyebrows almost gave him a unibrow; the sharp features of his face gave him an edgy kind of attractiveness that for whatever reason I was drawn to. Our first date had been a little awkward. We saw a movie—a vampire flick—and then had drinks at another bar where two of his friends joined us. I’d been nervous for the first couple of moments but then Dex acted all possessive of me and I felt safe. Tonight, I didn’t feel safe at all.

  Until the other guy’s hand touched mine.

  Okay, maybe I was romanticizing things. I had a habit of doing that, seeing heroes everywhere I looked, ones that matched the heroes I read about in all the romance novels I downloaded on my e-reader. I was thirteen when I read my first adult romance book and I’d been hooked since then. Sure there were more age-appropriate books, now more than ever actually, but I knew what I’d fallen in love with, I knew what made my heart beat fast, my smile spread, and what kept hope alive for me. It was the romance.

  See, I was doing it again, romanticizing the idea of some guy that came into the bar every night drinking beers like they could drown away whatever bad things that had taken place in his life. I mean, I assumed bad things had happened because he had the biggest, saddest, dark brown eyes I’d ever seen. He usually ate like he was starving, except tonight he didn’t and before Dex had come in I’d been wondering why.

  I wondered about him a lot, more than I guess I should have since technically I was going out with Dex. But there was something sort of lonely about him, something that pulled me to him every time he entered the bar.

  Then the mystery guy had appeared right in front of me, our fingers brushing as we both attempted to pick up the same receipt. I pulled away because it felt like I’d touched a live electrical wire. To be quite honest, it sort of felt like a door had been opened inside of me. Things had begun to happen inside instantly—my boobs tingled, nipples puckering, my thighs shook, wanting to clench right there to stall the slow throbbing that had begun between my legs.

  For his part—the guy that held more of my attention than I thought was necessary—he didn’t seem as bothered by the touch as I did. Sure, he’d looked at me strangely, but he always did that. Guilt came next, like a stinging slap against the back of my head. I was dating Dex. This other guy shouldn’t turn me on, or intrigue me, or both.

  He’d left the bar about an hour ago and yet I was still standing here thinking about him when I should be counting up my last receipts.

  “Your guy Dex was looking all kinds of delicious tonight, girl,” Hanna said once she’d slipped onto the bar stool, crossed one leg, and pulled her four-inch heeled ankle boot off. She was rubbing her foot as she continued to talk. “Who was his friend? I swear he comes in here with the sexiest guys but none of them talk much. I must have rubbed my tits against his back four or five times and he never even blinked my way. Jerk.”

  Hanna was twenty-three and had been working in bars since she was sixteen. She was the one who’d given me the heads-up about the wonderful accommodations I now lived in and given Roy, the manager here, a superior—albeit fake as hell—reference for me to get this job. I felt like I owed her one, but really, I would have been friends with her even if she hadn’t done those things, because Hanna was nice, beneath her tough exterior and heavily made-up face. She was also loyal and I needed a little bit of that in my life.

  “This was a new guy. I’ve never seen him before,” I told her while I finished adding the last of my receipts.

  “Do they work for him or something? Where do they come from? They look all dark and exotic.” Hanna smiled as she thought about it.

  I shook my head, wrapping a rubber band around all my receipts to keep them all neat and straight, then clapping them onto the bar. Roy was a stickler for neatness around here.

  “I’ve never said more than hi and bye to any of them. They show up, Dex talks to them, and then they go.”

  I learned a long time ago not to ask questions I really didn’t want the answers to. It’s not that I had anything against Dex’s friends, I just didn’t like them. Not the way I liked Dex. But what did I know? I was still trying to figure out why I didn’t get the same physical reactions from Dex as I did from the mysterious stranger with the sad eyes.

  “Ooooh, mysterious,” Hanna said. “So what does Dex do? Is he some kind of drug dealer? Because if so you need to cut his ass loose. The last thing you need is to get caught up in some kind of raid. My sister, Jenna, got caught with drugs in her house because her boyfriend was hiding shit in her vent. She got a PBJ and five years’ probation, has to go downtown and piss in a cup every Monday morning by court order. It sucks!”

  I nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly with Hanna’s conclusions. “No, I’m definitely not trying to have any run-ins with the law. He said his uncle runs some type of business down in Alexandria and he’s working there with him.”

  “Oh, okay, that sounds cool,” Hanna said, taking off the other boot and letting it fall to the floor. “You do good in tips tonight?”

  “Enough to pay my cable bill,” I reported with a smile.

  “You go, girl.” Hanna gave me a high five and we went around turning the chairs up onto the tables talking about the next time we were off and splurging on a spa day.

  I moved around the bar, clearing a couple of tables, putting some glasses on the bar to be put into the dishwasher, trying to ignore the sensations still sifting through my body. It was as if he’d just touched me five minutes ago. My boobs still ached, between my legs throbbing. I was a mess. I had a boyfriend and was thinking about letting another guy touch me, kiss me, damn I wanted … I didn’t even know his name.

  Half an hour later Hanna and I both had our jackets on, purses on one shoulder, car keys in hand as we walked out the front door. Roy was still inside so he’d lock up after he recounted our receipts. Hanna had come in an hour after me today, said she had some kind of appointment before work, so the parking lot had been almost full when she arrived. She’d had to park around the side of the building. I had parked right out front. After we said our good nights and shared a hug, she went around the corner. I hurried to my car, planning to get inside and drive around the corner so I could see that Hanna had gotten into her car safely. The dark figure leaning against my car stopped me.

  I looked back immediately to see if Hanna was still there but it had grown really chilly out tonight and she only had on a thin sweat suit jacket, so she’d been hustling to get into her car and turn up the heat. I wore my old leather jacket so I wasn’t really cold, but I was very concerned about who was waiting for me at my car.

  Scratch that, I was a little afraid. My heartbeat picked up as I moved and I wondered for a split second if I should just run around back to get Hanna to bring me to my car. But I didn’t stop, I kept moving toward the car, toward the dark figure as if, somehow, this was where I was supposed to be.

  As I walked I adjusted the keys in my hand, finding the can of Mace on the chain and flicking off the top so I’d be ready if needed. My heart thumped as I drew closer to the driver’s side of my car. The tall
male that had been leaning against the door stood, hands in pockets, staring at me.

  His facial hair made his complexion appear darker than I really thought it was and those ominous eyes glared at me just the way they did as I moved around the bar. No matter how much I tried to ignore him, I knew he watched me every night he was there. The funny and probably crazy-as-hell thing was that when he wasn’t there watching me, I sort of missed it. Yes, I’m going to stick with calling it crazy that I’d obviously managed to attract some kind of stalker, and wasn’t totally freaked out about it. My finger moved over the nozzle of the Mace as I stopped in front of him.

  “What are you doing here? I thought you had left a while ago.” Maybe I could have been nicer, but why? He was creeping me out, standing here in the dark parking lot like he was Batman or something. I half expected him to speak in a raspy voice and to say something obscure instead of superhero-like. And the way he made me feel inside, despite the creepiness was beginning to piss me off.

  “I wanted to be sure you were okay,” was his response.

  His voice seemed deeper out here in the cool night air than it had in the bar. However, his body was just as broad, just as muscled as I’d noticed on many nights before. And he smelled … I tried not to inhale too deeply, because I already knew how he smelled, especially after our collision earlier. It was an extremely fresh smell, like a rainy day. It made me want to run my fingers through his hair, the unruly, too-long locks that tended to fall over his forehead just as it furrowed and his eyes narrowed. I would only admit that to myself since I’d die if he knew I’d been paying as much attention to him as it appeared he had to me.

  “I’m fine and I don’t think you should be checking up on me,” I told him, no matter how sweet I thought it actually was. “If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get home. It’s late.”

  I tried to move around him. That was pointless. He stood between the side of my car and Roy’s car, which was parked right beside mine. And he filled the space completely. He was built like those guys at the gym, the ones that I figure must have lived there with all the intricate cuts and chiseled muscles they readily displayed. Sure, I’d never seen this guy in shorts and a tight tank, but I was positive he was as mouthwatering as the gym buffs.

  “Did he hurt you?”

  His next question startled me and I stopped my attempt to get past him. I looked up at him questioningly. “Nobody hurt me and nobody is going to hurt me ever again.” My lips clamped shut as soon as I’d said those words. It was too much information and I knew it the second the words tumbled free. His head tilted slightly, that thick lock of hair falling close to his left eye. My fingers itched to brush it away, even as my heart began a steady pounding. It wasn’t fear that had tripped my heart rate this time, not that bone-chilling fear that had seeped into my body when Dex had grabbed me earlier. This was different, it was … anticipation, and that had me gasping.

  “I saw him grab you and yell at you. If he hurt you I can take care of it,” he proclaimed seriously.

  Licking my now-dry lips, swallowing to be sure my voice didn’t crack when I spoke, I shook my head. “I don’t need you to take care of anything. I don’t even know you,” I replied.

  He opened his mouth to speak, then pressed his lips together. He took a deep breath and then exhaled. For those seconds I watched that movement as if being mesmerized. His lips, the rise and fall of his chest, everything about him made me want to … to what?

  I had no idea what this guy was about to do and I didn’t want to wait to figure it out. So I pushed past him to get to my car door. His body was so hard and the heat that emanated from it made me want to lean in farther, to wrap myself in the warmth and possibly feel the safety I’d always longed for. That didn’t make any sense. How could someone I didn’t even know make me feel safe? How could I know how warm being wrapped in his arms would be?

  I didn’t anticipate his next move and it startled me so badly I dropped my Mace and gasped. He turned with my movement and flattened me against the door, his hands going to both sides of the car to trap me there.

  “I’m Caleb and if I see him grab you like that again, I’m going to break his arms.”

  His words were spoken with such vehemence, such absolute rage I knew they were true. He would break Dex’s arms. I don’t know why and I knew that wasn’t what I wanted to happen, still, I didn’t doubt his … Caleb’s words one bit.

  “He’s my boyfriend,” I said defiantly. “He’s allowed to touch me. You,” I said, gathering my strength and lifting my hand to poke him in his chest, “you are not.”

  He frowned down at me, sparks of brightness streaking through his otherwise dark eyes. I thought he was going to hit me then or at the very least shake me until I felt like my eyeballs would roll right out of my head—that would have been all too familiar.

  “You are foolish,” he said through clenched teeth. “He will hurt you if you let him.”

  “You don’t know me and you don’t know Dex. And if you don’t get away from me right now I’m going to—”

  My words were cut off at the sound of a horn and then we were caught in the intense glare of headlights on high beam. The brightness fell over his face and my breath caught. He looked so fierce, so angry and yet he was the most attractive guy I’d ever seen in person—magazine and online pics of man candy did not count. There was a sudden urge to wrap my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life, but I dismissed that as being over-the-top romantic and definitely falling for the bad-boy hero, which I swore I’d never do.

  “Hey, Zoe, you okay?” Hanna called from her car. “You need me to dial nine-one-one?”

  “I’m not the bad guy here,” he whispered, looking down at me. “But you already know that, don’t you?”

  I nodded and then swallowed, searching for my words—even if they were only primal ones—because standing here mute wasn’t my best look. I believed what he’d said. I don’t know why, but I did. I just didn’t know how to react to them.

  “I’m okay, Hanna,” I lied, but used the opportunity to push Caleb off of me and turned to hurriedly unlock my car door. “I’ll be right behind you,” I told her.

  “Good, because I’d hate to have such a good customer arrested for harassment!” Hanna yelled. “But I will so don’t you forget it, buddy!”

  Caleb had backed away from the car by the time I pulled the door open and slipped inside. I refused to look out the window to see what he was doing now, just put the key in the ignition and prayed it would actually start this time. It did, after some spit and sputtering action that was beyond embarrassing. On my nod, Hanna pulled her car up slowly and I moved my vehicle out of the parking spot. We both left the parking lot without looking back. Or, okay, maybe Hanna didn’t look back, but I did.

  Caleb was still standing there, his hands in his pockets once more, his intense gaze still on me and my car, even though I was coming up on the intersection almost half a block away. Of course it was dark and I couldn’t really tell that he was looking at me, but I knew it, I could feel it almost as if his presence was right in the passenger seat beside me. It was an eerie feeling, an unfamiliar one, a warm and slightly satisfying one that I considered myself all kinds of a romantic fool for entertaining. But as I turned the corner, officially ending the visual contact between us, I smiled. Just a small one but one that warmed me all over as I imagined Caleb’s intense gaze, his warm body, and those intriguing eyes. In one of my romance novels he would be a hero, the brooding, sulking, dark hero that scared the heroine at first then kissed her until she melted.

  Or he was the serial killer that stalked the spineless heroine who was naïve enough to fall for his brooding good looks. A nervous chuckle erupted in my chest and I shook my head, continuing my drive home while politely informing my inner romantic that Caleb and his creepy threats were not a good thing. Definitely not a good thing at all.

  CHAPTER 3

  Caleb

  If he touched her again I was not only g
oing to break his arm, I was going to break both arms, then his legs, then I was just going to kill the SOB. That’s how I was feeling the moment I turned into the bar parking lot, three nights later. I’d purposely stayed away because her words, “he’s my boyfriend and you’re not” still rang in my ears. Even though that probably wasn’t an exact quote, it had the same punch-in-my-gut result.

  She was right, I wasn’t her boyfriend, so I really didn’t have a right to act possessive and protective of her. Hell, I’d only learned her name because her available-anytime-you-want friend—whose name I also now knew was Hanna—had yelled it across the parking lot. So from a factual standpoint, I probably should have minded my own business, but from a Shadow Shifter standpoint, that was impossible.

  When that asshole—who had been identified by Zoe as Dex—had grabbed her by the arm she’d been afraid. The tangy, citrus scent of fear had wafted fresh and potent all the way across the bar, dangling in front of me like the red cape in front of a bull. I’d been able to restrain my reaction at that particular moment, but that had only been temporary. I wanted to let her know she was safe and that I would protect her. The realization that she didn’t give a rat’s ass about my shifter instincts, possibly because she thought I was simply another human, was both startling and annoying as hell.

  Putting the truck in park and yanking the key out of the ignition, I thought of all the reasons why I shouldn’t be here, why I should have simply gone back to my apartment and continued to stay far away from this bar and this female. I don’t do connections—that was the first reason as clearly stated by the pattern of my life. I had gone from an orphan to the adopted son of Gil and Marta Sanchez, traveling the world with them and their two sons and daughter, to finally wandering around the human world on my own. Alone, which is how I always figured I’d end up.