Lead Me Home: A Fight for Me Stand-Alone Novel

by A. L. Jackson

  Hiding.

  She was all too quick to cover the ripple of disquiet.

  Her words shifted into an overcompensating rant that rode on her breath. “Little punks need someone to teach them a lesson. I mean, seriously, how uncool. Breaking shit for the fun of it. I just never have gotten that mentality. Making life harder for someone . . . because what? They’re bored?”

  She sucked in a saddened breath. “And my grandma’s stuff . . . she’s gonna be so heartbroken that I don’t have it. It’s hard enough that she’s fallen sick. People don’t even realize the things they do really hurt. Or maybe that’s exactly what they want.”

  There was an undertone to all of it as she tossed the boxes back onto the shelf. Like she was processing.

  Like she knew exactly who’d done this.

  “Do you have a bat?” she asked, whirling around to face me.

  Her expression had turned eager.

  Actually fuckin’ serious as she looked back at me like she just stumbled on the solution to all the world’s problems.

  Or at least hers.

  Unreal.

  She had to be insane.

  Or driving me there.

  “You’re coming home with me.” The words were out before I could stop them.

  Yeah, it was a bad idea.

  But there was no chance in hell I was gonna leave her by herself. Not with the lock on the door broken.

  Like a lock made a difference anyway.

  “What?” Her brows lifted so high they disappeared beneath the long, wispy bangs that framed her face.

  Her goddamned striking face.

  Eyes wide and sincere and true. Color that shouldn’t be possible.

  High, carved cheeks. Smooth, olive skin. Plump, pink-tinted lips.

  That smattering of brown freckles that crested the bridge of her nose and dusted beneath her eyes made her appear so damned young and innocent.

  But it was that body that bristled with an undercurrent of energy and fire that sent streaks of light radiating from her like the breaking day.

  Couldn’t stand the thought of her energy fading away. This crazy energy that emanated from her skin like the glow of neon colors.

  Couldn’t stand the thought of someone touching it.

  Snuffing it out.

  Dimming that light until it was cast into darkness.

  “I said you’re coming home with me. You can’t stay here by yourself.”

  Her mouth dropped open in offense, and she propped her hands on her narrow waist, trying to come off as valiant and strong when I saw the panic quiver through her veins.

  Yeah.

  I was fucking panicked, too.

  “Excuse me, but I’m not sure when you decided you got to make decisions for me.”

  “When some asshole busted in your door, that’s when.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not going to your place.”

  “No?”

  “Nope.”

  I dug out my cell phone. “Fine, I’ll call Lillith, and I’ll drop you off there.”

  Horror crested those pink lips. “Don’t you dare, Oliver Preston. It’s almost midnight. You’re going to freak her out. This is Lily we’re talking about, and you know the last thing I need is for her to get all worried over me. She’ll have Brody trying to build me my own sky-rise apartment or something.”

  Sounded like a good plan. I knew there was a reason I liked the guy.

  “Rex and Rynna, then. Or maybe your sister Sammie. I’m sure she has a cozy couch.”

  So what if I was goading her.

  “Are you crazy? And wake up their kids?” she screeched as she pointed at me. “And don’t you dare say Hope and Kale. Chances are, we’d catch those two right in the middle of something they don’t want us to interrupt. They can’t keep their hands off each other. I think that was one of my best matches to date.”

  Her voice got all dreamy on the last. The girl thought she was some kind of arrow-shooting cupid, responsible for every relationship each of our friends had fallen into.

  It was cute and eccentric and ridiculous.

  Crazy talk.

  That’s exactly what this was.

  What I was.

  Crazy.

  Crazy for even considering this. Crazier for insisting on it. Because I knew she was gonna refuse every single one of my suggestions and the only thing she’d be left with was me.

  “Looks to me like your options are running out.”

  She stamped her little foot in defiance. “I’ll go to a motel.”

  I spun on my heel and headed into her bedroom, dragging the duffle bag from the top shelf of her closet. I tossed it onto her bed, doing my best to suppress the images of the last time I had been there.

  But they came fast.

  An assault of greed and lust.

  The girl under me. Skin so soft. Body so warm. Wrapping me in all that comfort.

  Sunshine.

  Had to grit my teeth to force out the words. “You’re coming with me, Nikki. Don’t fight me on this because you aren’t gonna win.”

  “Why do you even care?” She was in the doorway, her pretty face pinching. I saw it, her eyes on the bed, picturing the same damned thing as I was.

  Hurt hit her, wave after wave.

  My stomach knotted.

  Regret and need.

  I turned away.

  Ignoring it, that feeling that struck in the space between us. Something that’d always been there.

  Always.

  As we’d grown, it’d just transformed and gotten bigger and become something we shouldn’t have let it be.

  None of it mattered—not the mistakes I’d made, not the way I felt, not what I wanted.

  I’d rather die than let something bad happen to her.

  “Pack your shit, Nikki, or I’ll do it for you.”

  And the last thing I needed was to be rummaging around through her underwear.

  5

  Ollie

  Six Years Old

  His mom knelt in front of him and squeezed him by the upper arms. “You’re such a big boy. I’m so proud of you.”

  He looked up at the big yellow bus that rumbled at the curb, his belly full of something that felt like wings, and his chest bigger than it’d ever been.

  “Now, do you remember what I told you?” his mom asked as she adjusted the straps of his backpack on his shoulders.

  He tightened his hold on his little sister’s hand. “I’ve got to take care of my little sister. Always and always.”

  His mom smiled and it made his chest tighten more. “That’s right. You’re the biggest and the bravest, so you always watch out for your little sister. She’s going to be scared going to school all by herself, but she doesn’t have to be because she has you right there to protect her.”

  Pride swelled inside him. “I’ll watch her the best, Momma. Just like Daddy said.”

  She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I know you will, brave boy.”

  “Beast Man,” he corrected.

  His momma laughed a soft sound and brushed her fingers through his hair. “That’s right, you’re The Beast now.”

  He proudly held up his The Beast lunchbox that his dad had given him yesterday when he’d gotten home from work. His dad told him he was a beast, destined to be a linebacker, bigger than any of the other boys.

  Last night, his daddy had come into his room to tuck him in and told him he needed to watch out for his little sister.

  Just like his momma was doing right then.

  Their momma looked at his little sister, who was swaying in her pretty dress that she had picked out especially for this day. Ollie was worried it was gonna get messy if she played in the dirt, but their momma said that was okay. “You stay close to your brother, okay? He’ll help you get to your classroom until you know your way around.”

  Sydney looked up at Ollie and beamed. “Okay, Momma.”

  “All right, you two, you’d better get on that bus.”
>
  She pressed a long kiss to Sydney’s cheek, like the way she did when she was sad.

  “It’s okay, Momma,” he said, “I’ve got her. I won’t let nothin’ bad ever happen to her.”

  She nodded at him and wiped a tear from under her eye. “I’m just sad my babies are getting so big. I know you’ve got her. Now go on and have a great day. I’ll be right here waiting when you get finished.”

  “We will!” Sydney said, grinning wide and then even wider when she saw another little girl walking up to the bus with her hand in her mother’s.

  The girl’s eyes were so wide and so blue they were almost purple. Like one of those purple flowers that grew thick in the fields and filled their momma’s garden.

  Though, somehow, they were shiny and iridescent.

  Like a big bubble floatin’ in the sky and getting caught up in the rays of sunlight.

  The girl’s mom hugged her before she nudged her toward the bus. “Go on.”

  The girl’s feet dragged on the dirt as she looked behind her.

  “You wanna sit with us?” Sydney called out, not the least bit shy.

  The girl’s mouth tipped in a small smile. “Okay.”

  Sydney struggled to look around Ollie as they climbed up the bus steps and moved down the narrow aisle between the rows of seats, his little sister trying to get a good peek at the girl. “What’s your name?”

  “Nikki.”

  “Hi, Nikki! My name’s Sydney. This is my Ollie. You wanna be our best friend?”

  “I don’t have a best friend,” Nikki said.

  Nikki looked a little bit scared. Like the way Ollie’s dad said Sydney might be because she didn’t know her way around.

  Ollie puffed out his chest. “Well, you got two now.”

  6

  Nikki

  The powerful engine of Ollie’s car roared as we sped down the road. Night passed us by in a blur of city lights that poured in from above, and the silence had its own distinct vibe as it filled the cab of his car.

  Hot and heavy and confused with a dash of anger thrown in for good measure.

  Seemed fitting considering that was the way this boy always made me feel.

  Angry and hot and on edge.

  What the hell had I agreed to? I knew so much better than to bend to his will. So much better than giving in.

  But how could I not? The truth was, I was scared.

  Terrified, really.

  I could feel the note I’d stuffed into my bag burning a hole in the bottom of it, flames of fear and worry and dread. They’d ignited the second we’d mounted the steps at my apartment, sure it had to be Brenna’s boyfriend Caleb who was responsible for it all.

  Should I just say it? Put my theory out there without an ounce of proof?

  The hardest part was I didn’t know if that would be betraying Brenna’s trust. Disrespecting everything she’d offered me in her fragile state.

  God . . . I just, couldn’t do it. Not with the way Ollie was vibrating beside me like a lunatic.

  I’d seen it in his eyes. Felt it radiating from his body.

  He wanted to hunt and destroy.

  I blew out a relieved breath when my phone finally buzzed with a return text.

  Brenna: I’m fine. Is something wrong?

  Me: No. I just wanted to check on you to make sure he was leaving you alone. Please text me if you need anything. I’ll be there.

  I wondered if my demeanor came across as some kind of dirty confession as I tapped out the reply.

  Or maybe it was just the way Ollie was looking at me as if he wanted all my secrets. Because the daggers he was shooting were so intense, I could feel them penetrating the side of my face.

  Fiery darts.

  I thought he might have the power to flay me wide open with the pass of one. See everything hidden inside.

  Brenna: Thank you so much for being here for me.

  I hugged my phone to my chest as if it might send her a hedge of protection. Send her my hope and belief in her. For her.

  Maybe I really had gotten in too deep.

  “Who is that?” Ollie finally demanded, shaking me from my thoughts.

  I turned to him, taking him in. He barely fit in the space of the seat, his long legs bent and tucked up under the wheel, seat pushed so far back he might as well have been sitting in the back seat.

  Bigger than life.

  Always, always filling my sight, eyes unable to look anywhere but at him.

  He was squeezing the wheel with those massive hands, the muscles in his arms bulging and flexing with uncontainable strength.

  I squirmed, and my tongue suddenly felt thick where it stuck to the roof of my mouth.

  I didn’t know if it was from looking at him or from the fact my gut told me not to let him in on the note. Not to tell him about the day Brenna had called me right after she’d called the police, and I’d run there to support her.

  Caleb had called me the very thing that was painted on my door as he was being hauled away.

  Bitch.

  “No one,” I told him.

  His eyes darted to my phone. “No one? It’s after midnight, Nikki. Don’t tell me that’s no one. And you refused to call any of our friends. That a guy?”

  I almost laughed.

  Was he serious? He was jealous I might be texting a man?

  That was exactly what I should have been doing.

  Texting a guy.

  Someone who was totally Ollie’s opposite.

  Sweet and stable and harmless.

  Not a man who could rip me to shreds with nothing but a glance. Not a man who would use me up and toss me aside then turn around and act as if I owed him something.

  “What if it is?” I defended, not even trying to keep the outrage out of my words. He deserved it. “Why do you think it’s any concern of yours?”

  “Everything you do is my concern. I thought we already established that earlier.”

  “Right.” It dripped with sarcasm, and I jerked my attention forward, my jaw working hard, propelled by a surge of fury.

  I stared out the windshield. “You’ve sidelined every single one of my relationships. Convinced me they weren’t good enough, or you decided it for me and took it upon yourself to scare them away. I told you, you don’t get to do that anymore.”

  Not after last year.

  Over the years, I’d dated.

  Never seriously. I’d never fully allowed myself to fall because I’d been waiting on him to come to his senses. To see me. To feel me the way I felt him.

  Or maybe it’d just been impossible to fall because I already belonged to him.

  My heart too tangled and wrapped up in him to recognize anyone or anything else.

  “If that’s a guy, then I need a name.” His voice came hard, as sharp as a wielded knife. No question, a threat to cut without hesitation.

  My laugh was one of disbelief. I gave a short shake of my head. “No, Ollie, you don’t.”

  For the last fourteen years, I’d had to watch him with an endless string of girls.

  Painfully pretending as if it didn’t matter. I’d done it after he’d broken me when I was sixteen because I’d wanted to give him the space and the time to heal. But when he’d done it again, as if he didn’t think it wouldn’t destroy me? I was done.

  I would no longer allow Oliver Preston to trample all over me. I was moving on, the best I could, the only way I knew how.

  “Told you earlier you need someone looking after you. Should be clear enough after that shit went down at your apartment.” His voice was gruff like he was scolding a child.

  “Um, no, I don’t. I’m a grown woman. And yeah, I appreciate you being there for me tonight. That’s what friends do, but I don’t need someone else to approve who I see or who I am with. I’ve never tried to do it with you, and it’s high time I stopped allowing you to do it to me.”

  Veins bulged in his arms from the pressure he was exerting on the steering wheel, and that energy flared.
<
br />   Friction and gravity.

  Barbed spikes penetrated my skin.

  I shuddered around it.

  “Just didn’t think you were the boyfriend type.” It was basically a grunt from his sexy mouth.

  Was he for real?

  “Since when?” I challenged.

  Ollie’s jaw clenched in discomfort. Good. Maybe for once he would understand what it felt like.

  He doesn’t care.

  He doesn’t care.

  I had to keep telling myself that.

  What made it worse was the thought of inflicting even an ounce of pain on him made me sick.

  He’d always thought he was the one who needed to stand up and protect me, but it was me who ached to protect him. Shield him and hold him, wishing he’d find that solace in me.

  “Just tell me who you’re texting,” he demanded instead of answering my question.

  For a flash, he turned that potent gaze on me.

  Black sapphire.

  Angry and hard.

  “There are parts of my life you don’t get, Ollie. Some things are private, like the relationships I have with the women who come to sessions. They’re trusting in me, and there is no way I can allow you to get in the middle of that. And you know what? If I am dating someone . . . you don’t get that, either. It’s none of your business. You gave up that right a long time ago. You either need to respect that or accept that I can no longer be in your life.”

  A breath left him on a hard exhale, and his entire being flinched.

  He looked as if he’d taken a swift kick to the gut.

  Shocked.

  Maybe I should have laid it out between us long ago.

  Boundaries and rules.

  God knew, I’d been following his for too long.

  “Is that what you want . . . me out of your life?” He kneaded the wheel as he said it, agitation coming off him in powerful waves.

  I stared across at him.

  At his face.

  His cheeks and his lips and the profile of his beard.

  My beast.

  “No,” I said quietly. It was the honesty that came out behind it that made it ring in the air.