Lead Me Home: A Fight for Me Stand-Alone Novel

by A. L. Jackson

  Slowly, he nodded. “Don’t mean to be an asshole every day of my life.”

  “Are you sure about that?” I said, my voice cracking with the strain as I let myself tease.

  A gruff laugh left his sexy mouth. I tried to still the tremor the sound evoked in the depths of me.

  There was nothing I loved more than the sound of Ollie happy.

  Pathetic, wasn’t it? He’d hurt me over and over again, and the only thing in the world I wanted was for him to be happy.

  The thing was that I knew the real man. The man hidden by layers of hatred and anger and sorrow. I knew the real heart. The heart concealed by the most devastating kind of grief.

  He eased his fingers through his hair and blew out a sigh. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure about that.”

  “So, you just can’t help it?” I ribbed. It was so much easier than being mad at him.

  He cracked a wry grin and peeked over at me. “Just comes naturally, I guess.”

  “Bear,” I taunted.

  “Brat,” he returned.

  “Beast.”

  My heart fisted as we sparred, affection pulling free and spilling into the air.

  “Sunshine.”

  The second he called me that, tears pricked in my eyes.

  I beat them back, swallowed the lump that bobbed in my throat, and smiled over at him as if he were my oldest friend.

  Because he was.

  “Thank you for rescuing me tonight,” I told him honestly. “I would have been terrified if I had walked up on that by myself.”

  “No worries . . . rescuing damsels is kind of my thing.” The smirk he gave me was only half forced.

  “Well, aren’t you just the savage savior?”

  He smiled over at me, and I smiled back.

  “Saving you was always my job.”

  My insides shook.

  It was so easy to fall back into rhythm with him.

  He looked over at me, his expression softening. “Guess I should have known that wasn’t a guy.”

  “Why’s that?”

  I shouldn’t have let him bait me. Not when the subject was such a thin, shaky line.

  He tacked on a dangerous smile. “Because if you were my girl, I’d be right there, protecting you. Not texting you like some pussy who doesn’t want to get his hands messy.”

  There was some kind of censure in there.

  Possession and a warning.

  Yet, here you are, protecting me.

  So badly, I wanted to say it, but I bit it back and let a smirk ride to my own mouth. “Um . . . this might be news to you, but being a bossy, overbearing asshole does not make you a man.”

  The brute grinned wide, his big body overflowing in the seat, hands squeezing down on that wheel as if he knew exactly what it was doing to me. “You sure about that?”

  “Positive.”

  Ollie looked over at me.

  The easiness was gone.

  Obliterated.

  In its place was a desperate man. The one who’d shown up at my doorstep for seemingly no purpose at all but to check on me but had been there the exact moment I needed him.

  “Who did you piss off, Nikki? Need to know . . . don’t care what it is you’ve gotten yourself into . . . won’t be a dick about it. I just . . . need to know.”

  My chest squeezed, and I had to force out the response. “You heard Seth. It was probably just some kids.”

  He turned back to the road.

  His big body was slung back deliciously in the seat. Everything about him was wholly overwhelming.

  Utterly overpowering.

  “Is that what you want me to believe?” He slid the question from between his lips like a low accusation.

  That was the thing. Oliver Preston did know me. In all the ways that mattered most.

  But even if I wanted to tell him, it wasn’t my right. I couldn’t break Brenna’s confidence.

  God knew what Ollie would do if he even thought someone was trying to hurt me.

  I couldn’t risk that.

  Contemplating, I stared out the windshield before I murmured, “I haven’t done anything wrong, Ollie.”

  I didn’t know if it was an admission or a defense.

  “Never said you did, but sometimes doing the right thing puts us in a bad place.”

  A huff of air blew through my nose.

  Wasn’t that the truth.

  “If I’m in trouble, I’ll let you know. I promise, okay?”

  His eyes darted across at me, his lips thinning as he pressed them together. “Thing I’m worried about is you’re already there.”

  Two minutes later, Ollie made a quick left turn onto Macaber Street.

  Strands of lights twinkled where they crisscrossed over the street, strung between the old renovated buildings to create a cozy vibe.

  The area was a destination in and of itself.

  The renovated buildings boasted restaurants and bars and cafés on the bottom floors, and trendy loft apartments with views of the city and the river took up the upper floors.

  Even though it was after midnight on a weeknight, the sidewalks were dotted with couples that strolled along the storefront windows, wrapped up in each other as if they had nowhere to go, and groups of friends hopped from hot spot to hot spot to drink the night away.

  I wasn’t surprised to see Olive’s, Ollie’s bar, was still packed. Curtis, the head bouncer, guarded the door, and a row of taxis waited to carry the revelers home after a night of indulging.

  Ollie made the next left turn and whipped around to the back of the building.

  He pressed a button, and a large garage door rolled up at one end of the building. He eased his car inside where his collection of restored cars sat in the private garage that took up a small section at the back of the first floor. He pulled the car into one of the open spots, killed the engine, and hopped out without a word.

  Almost warily, I unbuckled and climbed out of the car as he grabbed my duffle from the back seat.

  Raucous voices carried through the walls from the bar.

  Sydney’s soft voice floated to me as if she were standing right at my side, whispering it in my ear.

  Insightful and real.

  My best friend who’d understood the world before any of us could.

  I could almost see her with her face tilted toward the summer sky, her legs dangling over the side of the dock, her toes in the cool water.

  “I think it’s the things that hurt the worst that mean the most, don’t you?” she mused, her hair flying around her face as if she’d stirred a new concept that’d been waiting to be revealed. “Good or bad. That’s what’s gonna shape us. Make us into who we are. Guide us on the path to what we want the most.”

  She glanced over at me. “I think we’ll know it when there’s no other direction we can go. And I’m not going to be afraid of walking it anymore.”

  She wasn’t wrong.

  I gravitated toward this man.

  But what she was wrong about was not being afraid of walking that path.

  I knew firsthand it was wrought with peril.

  Just spending the night here, being in his space, felt as if he was going to break my heart all over again.

  I also somehow understood there was no other place I could go tonight.

  He’d found me exactly when I needed him before I’d even realized that need myself.

  Maybe Ollie had been following his own path.

  All I knew was he’d been there.

  For me.

  I had to be grateful for that.

  He tossed me a look over his shoulder as he strode toward the building.

  The man so gorgeous. Big boots eating up the ground with every mind-altering step.

  So confident and brash and commanding.

  “Comin’, Sunshine?”

  That was Ollie’s way.

  Reeling me closer, filling me up, and then cutting me free. Leaving me floating with no safe place to land.

  I just prayed th
is time I landed on my own two feet.

  7

  Ollie

  Footsteps pounded on the damp earth.

  Desperate.

  Frantic.

  Trees rose on all sides, sentries and witnesses, and branches tore into my skin as I ran through the oppressive night.

  Searching.

  My eyes blurred in the darkness. Muddied by despair. I stumbled through the forest. Gnarled roots twisted, like spindly fingers that had clawed out of hell to hold me back.

  Tears burned my cheeks as the wind blasted my face.

  Cruel like the laughter I swore I heard before it was swallowed by a gust of air.

  I screamed in the middle of it. “Sydney!”

  Voice hoarse, throat bleeding with the pain. “Sydney!”

  Sydney. Sydney. Sydney.

  I dropped to my knees.

  Sydney.

  My eyes flew open, and my breaths jutted from my lungs in a panicked rhythm.

  Pain lanced through my body.

  Physical.

  Rending.

  Pain.

  I deserved it, but sometimes I wished for one goddamned night of peace. I sat up on the side of my bed. With trembling hands, I raked back my hair that clung to my face, matted and sticky with sweat.

  Blowing out a breath, I pushed to standing.

  Through the faint light that bled into my darkened room, my gaze moved to the corkboard against the far wall. Like all of a sudden it might be pointing to the answer of a twisted, intricate mystery.

  Revealing a secret.

  Directing me to the missing piece.

  All these years, that was what I’d done.

  Dug.

  Watched.

  Waited.

  Searching for . . . something.

  Someday . . . someday I would find it.

  Pushing out a strained breath, I shook off the memories.

  Nothing but decay, eating away at my insides. Wondered when there would be nothing left.

  I trudged for the door, needing to get out of this room where the nightmares always reigned.

  Throat dry and desperate for something to cool the hell living in my belly, I stepped out of my room and headed down the hall.

  At the end of it, I stopped dead in my tracks.

  Motherfucker.

  Motherfucker.

  I scrubbed both hands over my face, wondering if I was hallucinating. If I’d thought my throat was dry before, I’d just landed myself in Death Valley.

  All the lights in my place were off except for the one inside the refrigerator. The door was wide open, the stark, white light illuminating the tight, round ass that peeked out.

  White underwear covered only half of her cheeks, and those long, long legs were bare.

  Greed tumbled through me like a landslide.

  I fisted my hands. “What in God’s name are you doing up?” I grated. My voice was so hoarse from sleep, making the words little more than a grunt. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten Nikki had slept in the guest room at the very end of the hall.

  Just hadn’t anticipated finding her like this.

  Gasping, she whirled around. Big, shocked eyes met mine like she hadn’t expected me any more than I’d expected her.

  “Ollie, you scared the crap out of me,” she rasped.

  That seemed to be the theme.

  Her trembling hand flew to her throat like she was trying to ward off the shock. To reassure herself she wasn’t in any danger.

  Standing there, I wondered if that was actually true. Because right then, I was feeling dangerous.

  Volatile.

  Liable to make all kinds of stupid decisions. Like that night close to a year ago, a night I could barely even remember. All I remembered was pulling that bottle from the shelf and trying to drown the grief.

  Then I’d woken in her bed.

  Her naked body against mine, the smell of her on my skin.

  So fucking perfect in my arms.

  It was etched and seared and woven with the faint flashes and taunts of memories.

  Her sweet, sweet touch, and my desperate greed.

  A permanent scar to remind me I couldn’t be trusted.

  Especially with her.

  The only thing she’d paired with those underwear was a thin, white tank top, her tiny tits exposed by the skin-tight fabric, nipples just barely peeking through.

  My damned mouth watered.

  Those stunning eyes sparked. Purple flames in my kitchen, burning me through as they went skating down my chest and abdomen.

  The girl was drinking me in like she was just as thirsty as I was.

  Not helping things, Sunshine. Not fucking helping things.

  Clenching my fists, I did my best to convince my dick this girl was nothing but a skinny, bony stick and so not my type. Hardest part was convincing my traitor heart I hadn’t wanted her for my whole life.

  No matter how much shit was piled on top of why I couldn’t have her, there was no way I could ever forget her touch. Her smile and her laugh and the way she made me feel like I was a damn king.

  Her guardian and shield.

  I doubted there’d ever be a time when I looked at her and didn’t think she was the best damned thing I’d ever seen.

  “Not sure what you expect when you’re sneaking around my place in the middle of the night,” I finally managed to say, breaking from the spell the girl had me under.

  Magic in her fingertips.

  And there I was, imagining sucking every single one of them into my mouth.

  One by one.

  Wondering if she’d groan and go wild or if she’d melt. Didn’t know which way I wanted her most.

  Sucking in a deep breath, she seemed to gather herself. Her brow lifted in speculation as she set the carton of milk on the island like she’d rummaged through my kitchen a million times before.

  Guess there was no need to invite her to make herself at home.

  “Middle of night?”

  She spun away and hiked up onto her toes to grab a bowl from the cabinet, giving me another flash of that sweet ass.

  Little tease.

  She spun back around, and there were those tits.

  Didn’t know which view I liked better.

  She really was trying to kill me.

  “I have to be to work in thirty minutes.”

  My attention immediately shot to the huge, curved bay of windows that overlooked the city. Darkness still hugged the buildings, but the promise of something to come was baited in the sky.

  “Just because you sleep half the day away, it doesn’t mean I get to,” she started to ramble, moving to dig through my pantry and my selection of cereals. “Early bird gets the worm—or rather, the breakfast pastry pie. Whatever you want to call it. And I have to be the one to make sure those pies are ready.”

  Right.

  Work.

  At an ungodly hour.

  “And do you have to do it half naked?”

  Couldn’t help but bring attention to her state.

  It was like only then the girl noticed what she was wearing.

  Or lack thereof.

  Her full, pink lips stretched into a lust-inducing O, and the shock was punctuated by a tiny sound.

  A rash of fantasies rapid-fired through my brain.

  Closing the distance.

  Taking that mouth.

  Devouring that body.

  Olive skin and slender curves and cupid mouth.

  Fuck.

  I wanted her.

  Wanted her propped on my counter and spread out on my bed.

  She made an offended sound and angled to the side like that might cover her up. She pointed my direction with one hand while she wrapped her other arm over her tits. “Oh, you think this is funny, do you? Sneaking up on me this way?”

  I was about to respond, but she didn’t let me. That gaze narrowed. “Maybe you really were trying to take advantage of me while I’m here. How the hell a mountain of a man like you sneaks up like
some kind of ninja is beyond me.”

  A chuckle rumbled free, half-pained, half-amused. “This from the girl who decided to parade around my kitchen half naked. Just who is the one who isn’t playing fair?”

  “You were just asleep. I heard you.”

  Affection and regret pulsed through her expression the second she realized what she said. With what she’d let on.

  She’d heard me.

  Fuck. She’d heard me calling out for Sydney.

  Shame rumbled through my spirit. It was a feeling she only managed to intensify.

  The girl’s magic at work again.

  Thought she might be the only one who could really understand. Brutal, considering she was the one I couldn’t let see.

  My life was devoted to finding my sister. Whatever it took. Whatever the cost.

  What made it worse was I couldn’t look at Nikki without seeing Sydney at her side. Without my mind going to what Nikki and I had done.

  I couldn’t let her light be dimmed—tainted by that vacant, ugly space that roiled inside of me.

  In a moment of weakness, she’d gotten in there once, and look how that’d turned out.

  I roughed a palm over my face and down my beard. “You didn’t hear anything,” I told her. Any amusement in my voice had been extinguished.

  That face transformed, and the easy playfulness she normally exuded shifted into some sort of a plea. Because when it was just the two of us together?

  The space between us rippled and danced.

  Begged to be erased.

  That awareness between us became its own, thriving entity.

  Rising from the depths.

  The girl a crashing wave that was going to take me under.

  “Ollie.” Her voice was a petition.

  Pure understanding.

  Come to me.

  Too soft and too kind and too full of all the things she couldn’t make me feel.

  Dropping my head, I lifted a hand. “Don’t. Just . . . get dressed. I’ll drop you at work. We’ll pick up your car after you get off so you have it over here. God knows, I don’t need to be getting up before the ass crack of dawn to drive you every day.”

  She blinked back at me. “You’re crazy if you think I’m coming back over here.”

  “I think we already established that.”

  Crazy was my goddamned middle name.

  Those lips pursed in that wild, impassioned way.