You Loved Me At My Darkest

by Evie Harper

  She sighs as she takes the pencil and paper from me and leads me into the bathroom, shutting the door behind us. She motions me with her hands to start quickly asking my questions.

  “My sister Sasha, is she okay? Are the men hurting her?” She begins to write. I peek down, unable to wait patiently, bouncing on my heels.

  Your sister is safe as long as she behaves, but she is a fighter, and it has gotten her into some trouble. I believe she has learned and will do fine now.

  A Fighter. I smile. However, remembering her bruised face, I hope she behaves as well. “I don’t want her to be sold. Is there any way I can get her out?” My voice is pleading, the girl studies me for a moment, and I can see her struggle with how to answer this question.

  If you try, the consequences are deadly. You would be risking your lives.

  Anticipation vibrates through me as I realise she didn’t say no. “Is there a way?” I ask quickly. She starts writing again.

  There might be. Are you really willing to die, to leave?

  “Can you honestly tell me she would be better being sold to a stranger than trying to escape this place?

  I can’t tell you that. I know of too many evil men who would be at the auction to buy someone like your sister.

  “I would need to make sure the plan was solid before going ahead. I need certainty when it comes to my sister. In the end, it will be up to Sasha.” I need her gone and safe. “And as for myself, I don’t care what happens to me. I need to get my sister out and safe before she goes to auction next week. I’m not even sure what day it will be.”

  There can be no promises. If she goes ahead with this, it will be up to her to carry it out.

  “What do you mean? How will she get out?” I ask, and she begins to write before I have even finished my question. This time she takes a while to write.

  A plan is in the works at the moment. Another slave girl, Maria, is planning an escape next week. It is planned and prepared. Dr Kingsley and I are helping her. I am allowed to go into town once a week for supplies. Dr Kingsley sometimes escorts me. One guard still comes along. We travel to the nearest town to get our supplies from the grocery store. Maria will sneak into the trunk of the car earlier in the day. She will hold it down so it doesn’t lock. While Dr Kingsley, the guard and I are in the grocery store, she will leave the trunk and head to a house Dr Kingsley has close by. There will be a map in the trunk with the address and details on how to get there from the store. I will need to speak with Maria and Dr Kingsley before I can promise Sasha’s place in the escape plan.

  Reading Dr Kingsley’s name and finding out she is helping these women escape, shocks me, perhaps I judged her too soon. However my focus is on the fact that, this plan could work. It’s tricky but they could really get away. Hope soars in my chest and I smile at the girl. Curiosity crosses my mind and I ask, “Why haven’t you tried this before, with yourself? With any of the other slave girls?”

  Many people have tried to escape and failed. Most of us are too scared to attempt it. We would rather live in hell than die here. I will need to return to the house, so I am not suspected. Understand, if Sasha and Maria are caught, I will say I didn’t know. I will say they did it without my knowledge. This will fall only on their shoulders.

  “I understand,” I state. And I do understand why she would do that. She already has enough scars on her body.

  I hear Jake yelling through the bedroom door, asking, “Are you finished doing girly shit?”

  I open the bathroom door and yell back. “In a minute!” I giggle in my mind for a second at how normal that short conversation just sounded. If we were anywhere else in the world, people would think we are a couple.

  I step back into the bathroom. The girl pushes the paper and pencil back in my hands, her expression terrified. “It’s okay. I won’t let anyone know about this.” I hold her stare, so she knows I’m serious.

  “Can I know your name?” She bites her lip and glances around the bathroom before taking the pencil and paper back from me.

  Beth

  I smile at Beth. “That’s a beautiful name.” Her faces brightens, and she smiles the biggest smile I’ve seen from her.

  I rip the paper up into small pieces and wet them in the bathroom sink then flush them down the toilet.

  I look at Beth and smile. “See, no one will ever know. I promise.” We exit the bathroom, and I place the pencil back under my pillow.

  “I will ask for you again tomorrow. We can discuss more then.” She nods and walks to the door. She knocks on the door. Jake opens it and lets her walk past him.

  I lean against the bed trying to look bored. He looks over to me, and then scans the room. Having not found anything out of place, he leaves and locks the door.

  I look around the room wanting to scream and shout that I may have found a way out for Sasha. I calm myself and go to the window, looking through the bars to the green field and deep blue sea. I send up a silent prayer that this will work, and I will get my baby sister on her way home and away from this evil world.

  ***

  Hours after Beth leaves, I see the door open, and Jake walks into the room and locks the door. I lay the book I’m reading down on my lap and watch him walk over to the bed. He looks nervous, and I could almost giggle at how fidgety he is.

  He looks to the ground and rubs the back of his neck. After a second, Jake looks up at me and goes to talk, but no words are spoken. He shuts his mouth. He tries again, but nothing comes out. He breathes out heavily, sits on the bed and puts his head in his hands.

  Oh, he is gorgeous like this. Maybe I should put him out of his misery. “Jake, is this about the kiss?” He blows out another heavy breath and turns around to me.

  “I’m sorry I did that, Lily. I was out of line. I was angry, and fuck, you look so hot when you’re all fired up. I went too far, and I’m sorry for that.” His voice is soft and full of remorse.

  “I’m not sorry,” I bravely say, not sure why or how I feel. But I’m sure of one thing. I don’t regret that kiss. I would never regret that kiss.

  Jake eyes widen at my words. “You should be. I was rough, and out of line.”

  “It was the best kiss of my life,” I say quickly, regretting my words as soon as they are out of my mouth. Oh, my God, how embarrassing.

  Jake stares down at my lips. His stare makes my mouth go dry, and I lick my lips. “Fuck,” he growls. He gets up and takes purposeful strides to the door. Then he suddenly pivots and pounces on the bed. I let out a squeal as my book is thrown from the bed, and his hands go to my waist. In no time, I’m flat on my back with Jake’s lips on mine again. Oh, heaven. I kiss him back right away, arching my spine, moaning into his mouth at how wonderful his lips feel on mine.

  I grab hold of his shirt and pull him further into me, never wanting to let him go. Nothing is going through my mind except the need to feel this man all over me and inside of me. I feel his erection press into my tummy, and heat floods to all the right places.

  Jake kisses my neck and jaw. As soon as I feel his erection hit my clit, I start grinding shamelessly against him.

  Jake moves slightly to the side, and I whine, vibration from his chuckle sends waves of pleasure to my pussy. His hand gently slides down the front of my shorts and panties. I arch my back and moan in ecstasy as he strokes my clit and fingers me at the same time. The feeling is euphoric. My legs quiver and sweat builds behind my knees. Heat slowly rises up my legs and swirls at my clit. The impending explosion promising to be orgasmic.

  His lips glide across to my ear. “Fuck, Lily, what you do to me. I need you.” His voice is low and husky.

  I’m riding the best high of my life, and I’m so close to the edge. “Jake, please don’t stop. Oh, God, I’m, I’m com—” Jake covers my mouth quickly with a kiss and swallows my scream. Feeling only ecstasy, I fall off the cliff, lost in the most intense sensation of my life.

  When I come to, I hear deep growling, and my body starts heating up all over a
gain as I watch Jake close his eyes and suck on the fingers that were just inside me. His eyes open. They swirl with passion and desire.

  Jake pulls me into his arms and hugs me tenderly for a long moment. He loosens his grip and looks down at me. “Lil, I will never forget what you just gave to me. In this sinister world, you gave me something beautiful and I will hold that memory close to me forever.” Then he lets me go and steps back from the bed. Rejection spreads through me like wildfire.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  I’m begging you.

  Jake

  I messed up big time, but imagining Lily’s delicious taste in my mouth and watching her come undone from my touch was too much of a temptation. It’s hard to believe what just happened was a mistake. But it was, and it can’t happen again.

  “Jake,” she whispers.

  I swear my heart cracks at hearing the sting of rejection in her voice. “Lily, that shouldn’t have happened. I keep crossing the line with you, and it has to stop. If Marco found out what we just did¸ I would have blown my chances of being your guard for here and Marco’s house. I can’t do that.” I’m starting to fucking forget why I’m here. I can’t let anything get in the way.

  “I’m an idiot,” she mutters to herself as she sits up on the bed and pulls a pillow in front of her, putting a barrier between us. That small movement wrecks me.

  “Shit, my head gets so messed up around you, Lil. I can’t fucking think straight.” And now I need to shut my mouth. Spouting all this bullshit is not going to help.

  “No, I get it, Jake. Nothing matters to you except getting to Marco’s house and being one of the top guards of a sex slave empire.”

  I take a step back, noticing her temper rising. Number one reason is that she is fucking hot when she’s angry, and I can’t risk jumping her again. The other reason, she’s unpredictable, and there is a lamp right near her that I don’t want thrown at my head.

  “What, are you trying to take over? Be the one to inherit all this evil shit when Marco dies,” she hisses.

  I can’t fault her for thinking that, but I want so much more. I want it all. “Yes, Lily, and nothing is going to get in my way, not even my feelings for you.” I walk to the door realising I just admitted to having feelings for her. Stupid, Jake.

  “You have feelings? Wow, let me know when you find them so I can shove them up your arse, and they can join all the other shit you speak,” she snaps at me. Fuck, that attitude just makes me want her more. I smile on the inside, knowing right now is not the time to show her how much I love her temper.

  I’m hurting her. I know that, but I’m also saving her. How the hell she could want anything to do with me is just fucked up. Lily deserves so much better, and one day she will have it. I walk out of the room and don’t look back.

  ***

  Lily

  I’m a fool. What did you think was going to happen, Lily? I don’t even know what I expected from him after that. I just couldn’t stop what was happening. I didn’t want to. My body comes alive like it never has around Jake. I betray myself by wanting him, but who will stop me if I can’t stop myself?

  He didn’t even relieve himself. I don’t understand how someone so gentle and caring can switch off his emotions so effortlessly and want this evil, disgusting life. But why would he want me, when he said he had no trouble getting women? He can have both: his sick need to reach the top and beautiful women.

  Is this all mind games for him? I fell for my captor, and now I feel foolish. I decide to hide my shame under the blankets for the next few hours; however, after a few minutes with my body relaxed from Jake’s expert hands, my eyes grow heavy and I drift off to sleep.

  ***

  I wake sometime later in the dark to the smell of hot food. My stomach rumbles, and I push the covers off me. I spot something move in the corner of my eye, I jump back and squeal. But see it’s only Jake sitting on his chair in the corner.

  “Sorry, Lil,” he states gently. “I was coming in to let you know your dinner was here. Only I couldn’t wake you. You looked so peaceful.”

  Memories of Jake’s hands and mouth on me race through my mind. The shame and rejection fill my veins. “It’s Lil...ly,” I draw out my name, “to you, and thank you. I’m awake now. I’ll knock when I finish,” I dismiss him, shift to the end of the bed and lift my tray to find lamb and vegetables for dinner tonight. I’m surprised to see I have my steel cutlery privileges back. I lift them in the air and raise an eyebrow to Jake.

  He shrugs and says, “I think we both know you proved they were of no use to you anyway.”

  I ignore him and start eating, waiting for Jake to leave. However, he doesn’t move, so I decide to keep eating as if he’s not even there. Soon enough, he gets up and leaves the room. My shoulders sag. Being a bitch is hard work.

  I devour my dinner, starving from rushing through my lunch today and not eating much of it. I remember my talk with Beth and can’t help but smile at the prospect of getting Sasha back home.

  I go to the drawers and get some pyjamas out; peach silk boxers and matching silk singlet. I knock on the door, letting Jake know I’m finished with dinner and rush to the bathroom before he can enter the room. I shut and lock the bathroom door.

  I put my ear to the door and listen to Jake enter the room, hear the cart being rolled out, and the door close again. I lean against the door, wishing so many things could be different. I wish Jake thought I was worth saving.

  I shower, and as soon as I’m dressed and my hair is dry, I turn the lights out and get under the covers. I find it hard to sleep tonight. My fingers touch my lips softly, and the memory of Jake’s rough, passionate kisses sends a shiver through me. However much he hurt me, I will never regret what happened between us. Jake shows me a side of him I don’t think he lets other’s see, and for that, I will always cherish our moment.

  My back is to the door when I hear it open. I know it will be Jake checking on me for the last time before he goes back to his room. I close my eyes and feign sleep. Hearing footsteps coming closer to the bed, I hold my breath, and then there is nothing for a few moments. A warm, soft hand brushes my hair behind my ear, and a soft kiss is placed on my temple.

  “Sweet dreams, Lil,” Jake whisper’s quietly. I stay still, hear him walk out of the room, and the lock click into place.

  Tears form in my eyes; confusion and anger pound at my heart. I don’t understand him, and I don’t want to. I want nothing to do with this new world of mine.

  But tomorrow will bring new plans with Beth. I need to stay focused on getting my sister out of Hell.

  ***

  All morning I have been sitting at the window watching the outside world. The clouds still move across the sky. The breeze still moves on to the next gust of wind that picks it up. The ocean waves keep crashing against the cliff. But me, I stay here and just wait. I can’t move on. Inside my head, I’m screaming and crashing through walls to get out of here, but on the outside, I am calm and silent.

  I have gone to knock on the door too many times to count to ask Jake to send up the same slave girl, Beth. I’m still trying to think of a reason I would need her for. I need to find out what is happening, but I can’t tell Jake that. I have never been a patient person, and this is too much for me.

  I stand to actually knock this time when my door opens, Beth walks in carrying a bucket and cleaning products. She closes my door, and I can’t hide my smile that she came back.

  Beth walks straight to the bathroom. I dash to my pillow for the pencil and take another page out of a different book. As soon as I enter, Beth closes and locks the door. My heart is beating rapidly, dying to know what news she has for me.

  She takes the pencil and paper and starts writing.

  I don’t have long. Your guard thinks your bathroom needs to be cleaned. Maria and Dr Kingsley have agreed to help your sister. We go in three days, which will be this Wednesday; we usually leave around eleven am. Sasha is intended to go to auction Wednesday nigh
t. They have already told her she will need to be ready by five pm. I have talked to your sister about our plans; however, she is reluctant to leave without you.

  I quickly reassure Beth, “Don’t worry about Sasha. She will do this. Somehow, I will find a way to get in contact with her and reassure her I will be fine.”

  I don’t know if I can see you again before Wednesday. If you feel you have to talk to me, ask for someone, and I will try to make sure it’s me they send up.

  Beth pauses in her writing, looks up to me, and then begins writing again.

  I can see how much your sister means to you. I promise to try my hardest to get her out of here.

  Silent tears fall down my face, and I grab Beth’s hands and hold them. “Thank you,” I reply with every ounce of sincerity I have in my heart.

  Beth and I do a quick clean of the bathroom in silence and then she leaves.

  I pace the room trying to think of a way to see Sasha. I have only two days to see her and say goodbye. And most importantly, convince her I will be fine. She needs to take this opportunity.

  Breakfast and a shower later, I still have no idea how I will see Sasha. While I’m going through the closet searching for some clothes to wear, I decide to talk to Jake, feel him out, and see if he will let me have another run-in with her. I dress in a black tank top and a pair of skinny jeans that look very expensive.

  I knock softly, and the door opens. Jake’s dressed in his usual black cargo pants, grey t-shirt, and army boots. He licks his lips while his eyes roam over my body, and a shiver runs through me. He finds my eyes and arches an eyebrow, waiting for me to speak like he didn’t just eye fuck the hell out of me. He must see the desire in my eyes because he crosses his arms against his chest and takes a step back. Goddamn, those arms, when he crosses them, they bulge to massive. Focus!

  Finally, I remember why I knocked and say, “I would like to see my sister again.” I stare into his eyes, so he knows how serious I am. “I want to make sure she is okay. Can we walk past wherever she will be today?”