You Loved Me At My Darkest

by Evie Harper

  Jake's arms drop from his powerful stance. “Lil, you know I can’t do that. Sasha is on the other side of the house. There is no reason for us to be there. Questions will be asked and I can’t risk that.” I know Jake is genuinely sorry, but I won’t take no for an answer.

  “Jake, I’m begging you. I need,” I stress the word need, “to see Sasha before she goes to auction. I have to say goodbye to my sister. And to make sure her face is healing, and that she is okay. If I don’t, I will go mad.”

  Jake’s face shows signs he’s struggling with how to handle this situation. He seems torn, and I hate making him feel that way, but this is too important. I decide to try another tactic to get what I want.

  “If you don’t help me, I will scream this place to the ground. I will kick and hit the walls. I will smash everything in this room and tear up all those very expensive dresses,” I say as I motion my arms toward the closet worth millions of dollars. “I’m sure Marco wouldn’t like that, now, would he? He might think you’re incompetent to watch over me.” I know it’s a low blow, but I’m desperate. Jake has his goals, and I have mine.

  Jake looks to the ceiling. “Fuck, woman, you are going to get me killed.”

  He lowers his eyes to mine, blows out a big breath, and smirks, “Well played, Lil. I will see what I can find out, but I can’t promise you I can make it happen.”

  “That’s enough, thank you,” I say with a huge grin on my face. Jake glances down to my mouth, and then mutters words I can’t hear as he leaves the room. I’m left waiting for him to return with an answer.

  An hour passes since Jake left, and my sanity is hanging on by a thread. I am so close to making this plan a reality that every minute that passes and Jake doesn’t come is torture.

  My door opens, and I spin around to find Jake closing my door. “Well,” I say impatiently.

  “Tomorrow morning after breakfast, she will be in the wine cellar doing stocktake. The guards don’t usually guard them too closely down there as there is no exit. There will be only one guard at the entry to the cellar. I will tell them you are choosing a gift for Marco, so be prepared to find a wine for him as well.”

  I squeal and jump into Jake’s arms and hug him tightly. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Jake. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

  His arms encircle me. My body relaxes in his warmth and safety. We hold each other for a moment. Jake places a soft kiss to my neck, lets me go and walks out.

  The day passes excruciatingly slowly. I try to read. I take a few showers to pass the time, but nothing helps. The anticipation and excitement I have inside me, has me feeling like I will explode before I even get to my sister.

  Finally, dinner comes, and this time, Jake comes with his own food and eats with me. We sit at the small table in comfortable silence eating spaghetti bolognese until Jake speaks, “I checked on you a few times today. You were either staring out the window or in the shower. I counted four showers. Is everything okay?” he asks as he fills his mouth full of spaghetti.

  I shrug and explain, “I’m excited to see Sasha tomorrow, and I’m bored. There’s nothing to do to pass the time. Reading isn’t holding my attention at the moment. There’s too much on my mind.” Jake nods and keeps eating.

  “So tell me, why we are waiting to be moved to Marco’s house?” I inquire. I need more information about Marco and where I will be going. Because as soon as Sasha is safe, I need to start planning my own escape.

  “It shouldn’t be long now. Marco is very careful about moving the collection around. He has a lot of enemies who would love to find even just one of his collection pieces. You were outed at the party, so moving you to his home is going to be secretive. He can’t have anyone knowing where he lives or have anyone follow us. He needs to let the dust settle, and then he will move you.”

  Jake scoops up a big forkful of spaghetti. He sucks in the strands that don’t make it in his mouth. Lucky spaghetti. Staring at his lips, I notice he starts talking again. “From what I have heard, all the other girls are moved to a secret location after a party, and then one by one, he will have them secretly taken back to his home. That’s where you will stay most of your time. It is guarded and only known to Marco and the collection’s guards.”

  “Why does he have enemies?” I ask.

  “Marco has been known to tape the men with the collection pieces, and he uses those tapes to bribe politicians and the mob to get what he wants. Bend the law, it’s how he has been able to stay out of jail. A lot of them want to see him, and his collection wiped out. But he also has a lot of supporters such as the men who attend the parties.”

  The mention of the men from the parties has me losing my appetite.

  “So does Marco only throw a party a month?” I ask Jake quietly, unsure if I want an answer or not.

  Jake looks at me with guilt in his eyes. “Honestly, I’m not sure.”

  We finish our dinner in silence, and Jake looks lost in his thoughts. I don’t think even a drumming band could get his attention. I stay silent and watch as numerous emotions pass over his face. His forehead creases a few times, and he clenches his eyes closed once. I wish I knew what he was battling. If only he would just come clean, maybe we could help each other.

  Jake comes back to the present and looks at me with an intensity I’m seeing more and more from him lately. “Lily, I know this might be hard to believe, but I am not going to let you get hurt again. You don’t need to know how or why. Just know that I’m going to protect you from now on.”

  I stare at Jake stunned. “How can you promise that?”

  “I can’t.” His eyes examine my face. “But I will try my hardest to keep you from any more parties. We’ll say you’re not well...something. I will come up with a plan.” His voice is strong and reassuring.

  “I don’t understand you at all, Jake. I’m afraid you’re playing me, but something in me trusts you,” I end on a whisper, looking away, feeling vulnerable that I just let him see a piece of me.

  My eyes swing back to Jake as he speaks, “I’m not playing you, Lil. I’m just as trapped as you are, because I need to stay. I don’t want to, but I have to. And being this close to you, having feelings for you, could hurt you more than you ever know, but I know enough now that I’m not going to stay away from you. There is something between us that goes beyond what we both think we should feel. Now it’s my turn to have faith that everything is going to turn out the way I want it to. God, no, the way I need it to.” His eyes penetrate mine. I can see the conflict he’s battling within himself to open up to me.

  Jake walks around the table to me. His hand cups my left cheek and he kisses me on my lips. The kiss is slow and gentle; the sweetest kiss I’ve ever had. He pulls back and kisses my forehead. “Sweet dreams, baby.” Then he takes the cart and leaves the room.

  I fall back on the chair, gazing at the ceiling with a giant smile on my face. My mind tells me I’m crazy for considering this man an ally. However, my heart won’t let me pull away; it wants him. I don’t know how long my mind will rule my heart. For every moment I spend with him, my heart grows stronger than my mind.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  This is goodbye, for now.

  It's morning and the day I get to see Sasha. I’ve been mentally preparing myself to stay strong. Saying goodbye will be hard, but it’s only for a little while.

  I’m just pulling on some sandals when Jake comes in with my breakfast. I’m on the floor in a short red halter summer dress. It’s beautiful, something I would wear back home around the farm on a warm day. Jake’s gaze goes straight for my breasts, and he licks his lips. I instantly want to rub my thighs together to ease the vibrating need between my legs.

  Jake shakes his head and says, “Eat quickly, Lil, and we’ll head straight down to the wine cellar.” Those words are like ice water hitting me, and I jump up and start eating.

  While eating, I glance at Jake. He’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed and watching me eat. “Jak
e, I have some questions about last night, about...us.”

  Jake’s eyes soften when he answers, “I don’t have answers for you, Lil. We can only take this one day at a time.”

  “And if I don’t want this,” I point between the two of us. I do want this, desperately. Which makes me insane to wish for anything with him, but I’ve never been one to fight what I know I want, and Jake is something my body craves.

  Jake smirks as if he can read my thoughts. “Oh, baby, then you should have hidden that fiery temper from me. Now I’ve seen it, there will be no getting away from me.” He winks, walks over, grabs my waist and looks into my eyes. “And you know you want it too, Lil. I can see it in your eyes and feel it in the trembles that travel through your body when I touch you. But until I work out some details, this stays between us. If Marco finds out I’ve touched you, we’ll pay the price with our lives. So out of this room, we mean nothing to each other, understood?” His tone is firm.

  I nod, understanding and agreeing with him. “This is insane,” I mutter.

  Jake laughs. “God, you have no idea. We’re just asking for trouble.” He kisses my hair. “You ready?”

  “Definitely,” I reply.

  Jake smiles down at me and my heart thumps hard against my chest. He makes me weak at the knees just from a lift of his lips. I clear my head of naughty Jake thoughts as we head down toward the cellar.

  We don’t pass any guards until we hit the kitchen. Four are at a bench having breakfast, and none even turn our way as we pass through the room.

  We exit the kitchen and Jake leads me down two hallways before I see a guard sitting on a chair looking down at his phone.

  He peers up at us and lifts his chin at Jake.

  “Phil,” Jake addresses the man.

  “Hey, Jake, what’s going on?” The guard takes me in, then turns back to Jake.

  “Lily needs a gift for Marco,” Jake confidently replies.

  Jake gestures to the door. “Slave down there?” I tense at him calling Sasha a slave. I know it’s not real, but it still hurts to hear her referred to that way.

  “Yeah, but she’s quiet. You’ll be fine.”

  Jake lifts his chin, and then opens the door for me to enter first as the guard goes back to his phone.

  I take slow steps until I hear the door shut behind us. Then I start running down the steps. The walls are made out of rough-edged stones. A metal gate greets us at the bottom of the steps, and it’s already open. I race through and view a vast room with five rows of shelves with thousands of bottles on each shelf.

  I start searching down every row. On the third one, I see Sasha standing, looking toward the shelves with a folder in her hands.

  I run toward her, and she twists at the sound of my feet hitting the concrete floor. She spots me and smiles. She begins to run to me, but I get to her faster, and we crash into each other. Our arms squeeze each other firmly.

  “Lil, I’ve missed you so much,” she whispers into my neck.

  “I’ve missed you like crazy too, Sash.”

  Jake coughs behind us, and we both jump at the sound. “We can’t be long, Lily. I will wait over there.” He points to the first row of shelves.

  I nod and turn back to Sasha. Her face is healing nicely. Her bruise has turned yellow, and the swelling is gone. Her lip still has a cut, but it’s much smaller now. I check her arms, legs and look down her dress. Sasha giggles. Relief floods through my body that she is healing, and she doesn’t have any new marks on her. I glance back and see Jake is far away from us.

  “Sash, has Beth talked to you?” I question.

  “Yes, she told me everything, but what about you, Lily? I can’t leave you here,” she announces.

  “Yes, you can, and you will, Sash. I have a nice room. I’m fed and I can shower. I am and will be just fine. You need to get back home to Australia. Tell the police. They will help me.” I speak with absolute confidence. Sasha just has to get home and tell them what happened to us. Thoughts of what would happen to Jake flutter through my mind, but I quickly push them away to think about another time.

  “But—” Sasha starts to speak but stops. I see her struggling with what she wants to say. “I’ve heard about the parties. What happens there? Did someone hurt you?”

  Oh, God, if I tell her the truth, there is no way she will leave me behind, so I do the only thing I can right now.

  I shake my head, begging my eyes not to betray me. I stare straight at Sasha and I lie, “No, no one hurt me.” My voice comes out stronger than I thought it would.

  “What’s the collection then, Lil? There has to be a reason to keep you.”

  I need to get Sasha to focus on her. “Sasha, don’t worry about me. You get home and safe first. Then you can help me, okay?”

  Tears spill from Sash’s glistening blue eyes as a sob escapes her lips. “What aren’t you telling me? I don’t want to leave you here all alone.”

  Oh, my beautiful Sash is so worried about me. I’m so proud to have such an amazing sister.

  “I know you don’t, Sash. But I’m okay. Look at me. I’m healthy, clean, and protected.” I point back to Jake. “He’s good to me,” I whisper.

  She examines Jake, and then smirks, “Lily Morgan, no boy could interest you back home and then you go and find one when we get kidnapped. Are you kidding me?” She laughs. I have missed that sound. It’s music to my ears.

  “It’s not even funny, Sash. He’s a kidnapper,” I say in a high-pitched whisper. “But he cares. He helped me get down here to see you. There’s so much more to him. I just haven’t figured it out yet, and I may never.”

  “Go with your heart, Lil. That’s what Mum would say.” My heart squeezes as I remember many times our mother saying that to the both of us when we were unsure about something.

  I nod, trying hard to keep my tears back. “So the plan is ready?” I ask, just getting the words past the lump in my throat.

  “Yes, Beth filled me in on everything. She’s going to unlock the trunk for Maria and me, and then we will sneak in right before they leave so no one notices us gone.”

  Okay, that sounds like a good idea. “How will you get to the car?” I want to know everything.

  “We move freely around the front rooms on this side of the house. We clean them regularly, so they don’t bother us when we’re working. Beth said if we need help, she will have Sally ask the guard for something, and we will quickly slip out and into the boot.” Sally, another faceless girl who is risking her life for my sister.

  As Sasha’s explains the plans to me, her hands begin to shake.

  “You can do this,” I declare, my voice firm and resolute.

  Sasha’s head bobs yes, as if she’s trying to convince herself. “I know I can. I have to. I can’t get sold, Lil. Some of the stories the other girls have told me...” Trembles violently shake her body. “I would rather die than be sold to those monsters.”

  “That won’t happen. You will get out and be on your way home this time tomorrow.” I smile, trying to show her the positives of this plan.

  She smiles back at me. “I’m actually looking forward to driving the combine.” I laugh out loud at Sasha’s words. The combine is a massive machine we use to harvest the wheat. Sash hates driving it and being stuck in it for hours at a time. She would whine about it all the time when we were home. What I would give to go back to those days. I guess now we will appreciate everything more, appreciate our freedom so much more.

  I glance to Jake. He’s patiently waiting, but I know we need to go soon. I examine my sister before I let her go. I want to remember every freckle, every strand of hair and her glistening blue eyes that have been with me in all the significant moments in my life.

  A silent tear escapes my eye. “I have to go, Sash, so this is goodbye for now.” My tears fall faster as I take in Sash’s crumbling face. I wipe them away as my sight starts to blur. “I’ll see you soon.” I hug her. “Be careful. I love you,” I say as I squeeze her tighter.


  Sasha clings to me with a death grip. “Lil,” she whispers.

  “Yeah?” I reply.

  “I want you to know, that I love you and that Mum and Dad would be so proud of you. You’re the best big sister any little sister could ask for.”

  My chest squeezes painfully at hearing Sasha talk about our parents, and my silent tears turn into whimpers. Our hug becomes impossibly tighter. Both of us refusing to let the other go. She feels like home.

  I hear boots and twist my head around. Jake approaches us, his expression filled with sadness. “Lily, this is all the time I can give you two. We have to go.”

  I turn back to Sash and wink as I mouth, “See you soon, sis.” She smiles at me and nods.

  Jake has Sasha’s full attention and then she speaks, “Jake, thank you for looking out for my sister.” She gives him a small smile. God, I love her.

  Jake’s face softens and he only nods as he gently pulls me by my arm, somehow knowing I can’t physically remove myself from my sister’s presence.

  Walking toward the stairs, I look back at Sasha. She picks up her folder and continues counting wine bottles, but this time, with a smile on her face.

  We walk up the stairs and open the door to where the guard is sitting. My heart comes close to exploding for a second when I realise we have no wine with us, but then Jake holds up a bottle to the guard.

  “Got it. Catch you around, Phil.” My heart starts to calm, but still beats wildly. Phil lifts his chin to Jake, and we continue through the house toward my room.

  Jake closes the door to my room, and I collapse on the bed with a heavy exhale. “I totally forgot about the wine. Thank God, you remembered.”

  Jake puts the wine on my dresser and asks, “What was your sister thanking me for?”

  “She was questioning the parties and the collection.” I shrug. “So I pretty much told her nothing happened to me, and you were protecting me. I don’t want her to worry about me while she is trapped as well.”