by Jade White
They stopped by the side of the road for lunch so she could stretch her legs. When Carwin helped her dismount, she could hardly stand; her legs were shaking, her muscles cramping, and her joints aching. It was only sheer effort of will that kept her upright as she attempted to walk some of the tightness from her body. Carwin watched her progress with a thoughtful frown. Without warning, his hand was on her elbow. “Come, let’s go a little farther from the road.”
A few minutes walking found them in a small and somewhat overgrown clearing with the remains of an old fire ring in the center. Eleri frowned. “I thought we were trying to move quickly?”
“We’ve come a bit farther than I expected,” Carwin answered with a shrug. “There’s a village less than a mile down the road. I think it would be prudent to investigate, to gather news and supplies, and also to deliver a warning about the shadow creatures, but I want you to stay here.”
“Why?” Eleri asked with a shiver. She did not at all like the idea of being left alone in the woods, especially after she’d just been reminded of what was lurking out there.
Carwin’s answer was sympathetic but firm. “I understand your fear, but it will be safer here. There’s no telling what’s happening in the village. If the enemy is already there...” Eleri shuddered. She had no desire to see that again.
“Besides,” he continued, “if, as I suspect, Dywell wishes to eliminate any rival claimants to your father’s seat, he may be looking for you. And, despite your clothes, you can’t hide your noble upbringing. It wouldn’t take much for people to put two and two together.”
“Is it really that obvious? I didn’t know I was so memorable,” Eleri muttered, feeling discontent without knowing why. Perhaps part of her had wanted to forget, to pretend that she was just a normal girl. It was less painful.
“I thought all women wished to be memorable?” Carwin teased. “I don’t mean to upset you, but no peasant girl would have such hair,” he said, picking an errant chestnut lock from her shoulder and tucking it behind her ear without seeming to notice how it made her heart race. “So long, well-kept, and shiny. And though your clothes are not especially fine, they are clearly new. Your manners are gentle, your speech is educated, and though that alone marks you as highly born, you might be any lord’s daughter. Except, you have such striking eyes. I’m sure Dywell will have put out a description. So just stay here. Light a fire and take a rest. Make sure to move around so your muscles don’t seize up. I’ll be back before sunset.” He handed her one of the saddlebags and strode off. Eleri frowned after him.
Striking? No one had ever told her anything like that before. Yes, she’d been called beautiful, by her family, even by a stranger or two, but in the same way that you might compliment any young woman. She’d never considered herself to have any particularly noteworthy features. Her hair was brown, her eyes were hazel, and her skin was fair and lightly freckled. Nothing to compose epic poetry about. As she struck the flint to the tinder and coaxed the sparks to life, Eleri wished she had a looking glass. She felt the need to look at herself, to check and make sure her eyes were the same as she remembered. Maybe something about her experiences had changed her. The bards often said that the eyes were windows to the soul.
Carwin returned in the golden light of late afternoon. By that time, Eleri felt she could almost walk normally, but she wasn’t looking forward to riding again. “How was the village?” she asked. Though she been dreading what he might find, Carwin seemed relaxed, so she was hopeful that the news was good.
“All is well,” he replied with a slight smile. “I purchased a few things and told them to keep an eye out for Dywell’s creatures. However, it seems the news of the attack on your keep and the destruction of Prenfford had not yet reached them. They were quite shocked to hear of it, and I don’t think they were acting.”
That was a relief. It meant that, at least for the time being, they’d successfully outrun the shadow beings that haunted her nightmares. Perhaps once they reached the Temple of Arianrhod, they really could find peace. Eleri figured Carwin would be off eventually to continue his quest to avenge his family, but she hoped that she, at least, would be able to remain. Though when she thought of it, the thought of parting from him made her heart feel both empty and leaden. She shook her head, telling herself to stop being foolish.
They were back on the road soon after, and because of their detour, Carwin announced his intention to travel into the night. “With no sign of Dywell nearby, there is less cause to rush, but I would like to stick to our original schedule if at all possible.” Eleri didn’t have a reason to object. She doubted the pain of constant riding would be much lessened by dragging it out, and the temple would be safer than out in the open.
So when night fell, she was still upon the dratted horse. The mare’s name was Myfanwy, and she was, in fact, a gentle creature with easy paces, but Eleri had begun to think of her as more of a hateful torture device than an animal. Every rocking step felt like it vibrated all the way up her spine, and her hips burned and ached all at once.
Carwin strode beside her at a tireless pace, and though she felt guilty that he hadn’t had a chance to rest, at this point she would have liked to trade places with him. They rarely spoke, not wanting to attract any undue notice, and the only thing Eleri could do to keep her mind from her body’s complaints was to look at the sky and listen to the sounds of the night creatures going about their business. With that and the rocking gait of the horse to lull her, her fatigue eventually overcame her discomfort.
She was on a ship at sea. The deck rolled subtly underneath her feet, but the sky was dark and gray. “A storm is coming,” said a voice, a woman she didn’t recognize. A roar split the air; a dragon, the same one from earlier, passed overhead. Before she could ponder what that might mean, Eleri felt the boat lean sideways, and she slid across the deck toward the cold, dark water. She screamed...
And found herself tipped right into Carwin’s arms. “Oh!” she gasped, blinking in the darkness. It had been a dream, of course.
“You must be tired,” he said, looking down at her with concern in his voice. “I know you haven’t been sleeping well.” Eleri flushed. He hadn’t mentioned what had happened the previous night, and she’d hoped she had imagined it, but now she feared that wasn’t the case.
“I’m sorry to be causing so many problems,” she mumbled, her apology not made easier by the fact that she was keenly aware of the warmth of Carwin’s body against her as he put her back on the horse.
“I can’t expect you to have a warrior’s stamina,” he replied in a reasonable tone. “Unfortunately, we can’t stop here. There’s a steep ravine on both sides of the road.” His brow furrowed in thought and then he sighed. “I suppose I’ll have to ride with you to make sure you don’t fall off,” he said. “Next time, I might not be quick enough to catch you.”
Eleri had no wish to fall from a horse, so she couldn’t bring herself to argue, but the idea of Carwin being that close to her for an extended period of time was as unnerving as it was pleasant. He pulled himself up behind her, a hand on each side holding the reigns. She could feel his breath stirring her hair. “All right?” he asked.
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
Though riding double forced them to touch, she felt more than a little strange about it and leaned forward to give him, and herself, some room. Even the aches of her hips and thighs couldn’t distract her from the knowledge that he was mere inches away. She was sure that despite what had happened earlier, there would be no way she could relax enough to fall asleep again. Carwin clicked his tongue at the horse, and they began to move. Whatever her intentions, exhaustion and the steady gait of the horse conspired to bring her sliding back into slumber in moments.
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Eleri started to slump forward, and Carwin grabbed her around the waist before she fell. Surprisingly, she didn’t wake, and he nudged her into leaning back so that her weight rested against his chest
. Myfanwy didn’t pause in her stride. Carwin sighed, feeling Eleri’s slight form resting in his arms. Fate kept conspiring to bring them together like this, and he couldn’t pretend that he was unaffected. She was a beautiful girl, kind and clever, and brave despite her sheltered upbringing.
A bit stubborn in a way he had to admit he found endearing, but he couldn’t allow himself to think of her that way. He had already lost one family, and he couldn’t bear to lose another. His life belonged to Ceridwen. As soon as this was over, he would be too. Eleri deserved someone who could be there for her in the long term, who could make a commitment.
Of course, his traitorous brain reminded him, that might not be very likely at this point. A noble lady with no family would not exactly be in high demand, especially with no one able to vouch for her honor since leaving the keep.
In better circumstances, a second or third son of a lord might be happy to make such a match, especially if he hoped to reclaim the lands Eleri’s father had once held, but with the threat of Dywell’s minions looming, very few would want to take the chance. None of that was her fault. It felt cruel that, because of an unlucky twist of fate, she might have to spend her life alone.
Maybe...
“No,” he told himself, surprised to hear his own voice slicing through the night air. It was a foolish thought, and selfish. Only if he kept his distance would she have any chance of happiness.
CHAPTER THREE
Eleri was surprised to wake up and find that it was morning. She was wrapped in a blanket next to the fire, still wearing everything but her shoes. Apparently, she’d slept through their arrival at camp, and Carwin had not bothered to wake her. In fact, she was bit surprised and more than a little frightened when she looked around and didn’t see him anywhere.
There was a pot of porridge sitting among the glowing coals and something else, some kind of tea or broth. “Help yourself to breakfast,” came Carwin’s voice from behind her. She glanced backward and sighed with relief. It seemed that he’d been watering the horse and washing himself; his straw-blond hair was dripping wet. She tried not to think too deeply about that.
“That tea is something I brought back from the village,” he continued, unaware of her discomfiture. “It should help with the aches and pains from riding.”
“Thank you,” she said, and she meant it. The break yesterday had helped some, but after riding long into the night and sleeping on the cold ground, she hurt even more than she had the day before, and all she could think about was that they had at least another day of riding ahead of them. The tea was bitter, but if would keep her legs from cramping, she would drink the whole mug with a smile.
“I picked up something else for you too,” Carwin said when she was done with breakfast. She raised an eyebrow at his playful grin, and from behind his back, he produced a small bow and quiver of arrows.
Eleri gasped in surprise. “You really got these for me? Thank you!” She knew her mother would be horrified if she ever found out, but Eleri was thrilled. So much had changed in the few days that she’d been traveling with Carwin, and she knew, no matter what happened, that her life would never go back to what it was before.
She was getting a little tired of feeling like a parcel that Carwin was forced to carry around until he could deliver it to someone else, and she’d always wanted to learn archery. “So, you’ll teach me?” she asked, looking up at him with bright eyes.
“Yes, I will,” he said, smiling back. “I figured it would be a good excuse to take a few breaks on our journey. We made good time last night during your nap. If it doesn’t bother you to ride together, we may even arrive at the temple tonight.”
That was a bit of a surprise, and for a moment, Eleri didn’t know how to reply. She was afraid that anything she said to Carwin would give away her confused feelings regarding him. “I... no. That’s fine. The sooner, the better, right?” she said with a wavering smile. She’d certainly be glad to be done with traveling for a while, and as for what came after... It was too difficult to even think about.
And a few minutes later, they were back on the horse. It was awkward at first. Now that she wasn’t half asleep, Eleri was more aware of how close they were. Even if she leaned forward to give him room, Carwin’s chest brushed her back every time either of them shifted in the saddle, and the warmth of his body and the sound of his breath were ever present in her thoughts.
However, as the morning wore on, the tension slowly dissipated, and Eleri shored up her courage to ask him what he knew about the temple. By the time they stopped for lunch, Eleri felt... not exactly normal, but more comfortable in close proximity to him.
They ate a quick meal of bread, cheese, and apples, and then Carwin brought two bows from where they had been tied to the saddle. “Are you ready to give it a try?”
Eleri nodded and accepted the bow, her fingers trembling slightly. She had never touched a weapon before and had been taught that they were dangerous. It took an effort of will to remind herself that it couldn’t actually hurt her on its own, but once she managed to relax, the polished wood felt nice in her hand, smooth and light, quickly warming to her touch. “First, watch what I do,” Carwin said, raising his own bow in front of him. “You hold the bow in your non-dominant hand, like this.”
It wasn’t too difficult to grasp the basics, and soon it was time for her to try on her own. Carwin had carved an X into a tree at the other side of the clearing to serve as a target. Eleri fitted the arrow to the string as he had taught her and pulled back. Her arms were not used to such exertion, and they shook as she drew the arrow to her cheek. “Now, loose. Don’t hold it,” Carwin said, startling her. The arrow flew up into the tree branches, startling a group of birds into the sky. He laughed and shook his head.
“That was my fault. I should have told you before, but you’ll want to do most of your aiming before you pull the arrow back. The longer you hold the bow drawn, the more your accuracy will suffer. Try again. This time, I won’t interrupt.”
They practiced a bit more before getting back on the road and traveling until early evening. Eleri was surprised when they turned off the trail, but Carwin’s explanation was sensible. “I figure we may as well stop for a meal. Unless my memory is faulty, we’re still several hours away from the Temple, and there’s no guarantee they’ll let strangers in after nightfall. Why don’t you practice with your bow a bit while I get a fire going?”
There was a tree in the distance with a large and distinctive knot that would make a perfect target. Eleri fired several arrows, some of which even hit the tree, before receiving an unpleasant surprise. Thwack! The bowstring snapped painfully against the inside of her upper arm. “Argh!” she yelled, rubbing at the stinging skin with her free hand.
“Are you all right?’ Carwin called from the fire. She gave a vague sort of reply, grimacing at the large purple welt she could see forming under her sleeve. He had come over to see what was amiss and flashed her a sympathetic smile when he saw the situation. “That happens to everyone, I’m afraid. Your stance has gone wrong; let me show you.”
She raised the bow again. “You see, you’ve got your wrist turned,” he said before moving to stand behind her. His hands went to her hips, and she was surprised he couldn’t feel her shiver as he pulled them straight. “It’s tempting to step toward your target, but firing from a squared stance will keep your arm out of the way,” he said next to her ear.
“Why don’t you try again?”
He was still standing behind her as she nocked the arrow, but just before she drew it back, he grabbed the hand holding the bow with his other arm braced against her back. “You shouldn’t lock your elbow,” he said, shaking the arm to loosen it. “Keep it slightly bent. Now, draw.” He kept his hand over hers on the bow, and Eleri was so distracted by it, she wasn’t even sure that she aimed. He released her hand, and she loosed the arrow. It hit the tree with a solid thunk, but she didn’t bother to look.
For a moment, she felt possessed. She low
ered the bow and turned her head toward Carwin. He was squinting after the arrow in the fading light, but he turned toward her just as her hand reached up to touch his cheek. His eyes widened, but she didn’t give him time to protest. She rose onto her toes and pressed her lips to his. It was meant to be quick, but, to her surprise, he didn’t pull back immediately. An arm came around her hip, and his fingers brushed over her cheekbone.
Eleri had never kissed a man on the lips like this, and she wasn’t entirely sure how it was supposed to go. His mouth was warm and soft, and he smelled like leather and autumn. All in all, it was much more enjoyable than she’d anticipated, but too brief.
Carwin pulled back and looked at her, almost as if he was seeing her for the first time. “Eleri, I...” he said in a rough voice. She held her breath, unsure what he would say, but hoping that he at least wouldn’t be angry with her. He took another step back, and she felt her heart sink. “I’m sorry. I can’t. It would be wrong.”
