A Fallow Heart

by Kage, Linda

  Cowardly move, sure, but she didn’t care. Her nerves had wadded themselves into a huge, messy ball and she was performing as well as could be expected, faking all her smiles.

  But Emma Leigh just had to go and say, “Oh, hey. Look who we ran into as soon as we got here.”

  She grabbed Jo Ellen’s arm and revolved her toward the man, practically shoving her into his lap, right between a pair of spread knees. Eyes widening, Jo Ellen gaped at those thick, masculine knees, covered by thin, fraying denim. Her eyes strayed up of their own will, taking in strong, muscled thighs and somehow landing on his crotch, where the fly of his jeans stretched over an impressive bulge nestled under a big shiny brass belt buckle.

  She gulped as the man scooted upright, obviously also alarmed by Emma Leigh thrusting her so close.

  “Coop’s here,” her sister announced.

  Coop?

  As in Cooper Gerhardt?

  Cooper Thaddeus Gerhardt?

  No.

  Jo Ellen’s eyes widened on that denim-clad bulge, her face draining of color. If Travis Untermeyer was the number one person she didn’t want to run into, Cooper Gerhardt was the second. Didn’t even matter that he’d turned into a delicious hunk of heaven, which from what she’d seen so far, it looked as if he had.

  She jerked her face up, her lips instantly parting with surprise as she came face to face with the grown-up version of Cooper Gerhardt.

  Oh, Lord have mercy.

  In high school, he might’ve been the cutest boy in her class. Now, he was just plain hot; Playgirl centerfold, the country boy edition. In a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, he wore blue jeans and a button-up shirt with the arms ripped off. A few ragged fringes hung down over his very tan, very muscled biceps.

  Jo Ellen went a little breathless. “Oh! Uh…H-hello again, Cooper.”

  Pale brown eyes inspected her before he tipped his hat politely. “Jo Ellen.”

  And, wow oh wow, his voice had grown deep. The man truly played havoc on a woman’s hormones.

  The tension between them grew palatable. She could practically taste the brewing chemistry. Like wine, it layered an intoxicating brand against her tongue until she grew lightheaded. Even Alexa paused eating to glance back and forth between them.

  “Been a while,” Cooper murmured oh-so politely.

  Jo Ellen cleared her throat and nodded. “Mmm hmm. How…how are your parents?”

  There, that had to be the safest topic to discuss.

  When he flinched, however, her insides contracted. She’d been grasping for something polite and distant to say, something that had nothing to do with the million and one apologies she felt she owed him. But seeing the brief pain in his expression told her she’d hit a sore spot. She covered her mouth immediately, already worried about both Loren and Thad. They’d always been the most considerate people.

  “Oh, it’s just awful,” Emma Leigh butted into their conversation, explaining Thad’s condition. “Most days, he doesn’t even remember who he is.”

  Jo Ellen glanced at Cooper. When he shifted his gaze away, misery lacing his features, she swallowed. “What about the farm work?” she asked, her voice sounding rusty. “Did you have to hire on more help?”

  Cooper shook his head, still unable to make eye contact with her. “Can’t,” he rumbled out the answer in his new low-pitched voice. “There was no money to hire another hand.”

  Her brow furrowed. “So, how is everything getting done? I thought Thad had bought cattle to add to his farm a couple years back.”

  He glanced at her, a quick intense dart from his whiskey eyes, before looking away again. But in that split second of contact, she felt physically touched. “It’s slow moving, but I’m managing to get through. A couple of neighbors have offered to help when it’s time to pick corn.”

  Jo Ellen’s eyes bugged. “You mean, you’re running your parents’ farm entirely by yourself?”

  He shrugged. “Dad did it by himself before I came along.”

  She shook her head. “But…Grady told me you’d started a spraying and fertilizing business. How can you possibly do both?”

  He crinkled his eyebrows, frowning at her. She flushed slightly, realizing she’d just confessed she’d somewhat kept track of him over the years. This time, she glanced away.

  “I had to put my business on hiatus until Mom and Dad are…settled.”

  With a sigh, she shook her head, knowing this was exactly what he would say before she even asked her question. Irrational anger clutching her tight, she scowled. “You are just bound and determined to sacrifice your entire life for something other than yourself, aren’t you?”

  He pierced her with a sharp, penetrating stare. Then his eyelids quivered before he rumbled out the words, “Well, being that it’s my life, I figure I can sacrifice it for whatever I deem important.”

  “Even if the recipient of that sacrifice doesn’t deserve it?” she charged, drilling her gaze right back into him.

  She had no idea why she was challenging him, or why she grew so instantly upset to learn he’d ditched his business to help his parents. Cooper had been the one and only person to hold her hand and stand up for her when everyone else in the world had turned away. He was the last man on earth she should censure.

  But it felt as if the years had melted away and they were still staring at each other in her parents’ living room. “I can still help you with the baby, Jo Ellen.” he’d promised so adamantly. “Whatever I have to do, I’ll do it.”

  She just couldn’t handle learning he’d yet again thrown his entire future away, all his dreams, for another life-altering sacrifice.

  The adult, present-day, hunky Cooper blinked at her. “You don’t think my parents deserve it?” he asked, sounding confused and a little insulted.

  Jo Ellen flushed, horrified. “Oh my God,” she gasped, covering her mouth. “I didn’t mean it that way at all. I’m sorry. I just…I was talking about…” She blinked rapidly when she realized what she’d actually been referencing.

  His brown gaze settled, filled with kind understanding…a sentiment she knew she hadn’t earned. “S’okay. I know what you’re talking about.”

  Utterly uncomfortable, she cleared her throat and lifted her hand to poof at her hair, but dropped her fingers when she realized she’d been about to display a nervous gesture.

  Cooper sent her a forced grin that had no doubt broken women’s hearts all over Tommy Creek. “Honestly, it’s no sacrifice at all.” He patted his stomach, drawing her attention back to his steely abs. Seriously, was he hiding sock rolls under there? “My mother’s keeping me well fed over the whole ordeal.”

  Dexter, bless his soul, cleared his throat, and spoke loudly enough to break up their conversation. “Speaking of well fed.” He rubbed his wife’s belly and grinned.

  “Hey,” Lexi muttered, clearly offended, though she flushed when Dex dabbed at a spot of barbecue sauce on the corner of her lip with his thumb. “Do you want me to give birth to a weak, puny, little son, or what?”

  “No, ma’am, I most certainly do not.” To appease her, he picked up her next piece and held it to her mouth, manually feeding her.

  As she watched Alexa tear off a piece of pork with her teeth, Jo Ellen swallowed down her loneliness. To make matters worse, Bran cuddled up to Emma Leigh and herded her to a pair of barstools on the other side of Dex and Lexi.

  Jo Ellen knew she should follow them, but for some reason, her gaze lifted to the man beside her.

  His expression matched her mood. He must not like being a single in a group of pairs any more than she did. But when he looked at her, every other couple in the room seemed to melt away.

  He shifted, moving his legs to tuck them under then bar instead of stretching them out to the side where he’d been resting his boot heels on the rungs of the seat next to him.

  “Need a seat?” he asked, offering her the free stool.

  God, she couldn’t sit so close to him. Her hormones were already twitching as
if someone had just fed them speed. But she certainly couldn’t be rude and turn him down either. Lowering her gaze, she seated herself and timidly demurred, “I’m sorry.”

  He chuckled and leaned toward her, stirring her hair with his breath. “I think the correct sentiment is actually supposed to be thank you, not sorry.”

  She shivered, inhaling the light scent of roasted peanuts, before she glanced up. With his long legs wedged under the bar the way they were, his large body looked crowded and uncomfortable. Her first impulse was to move, give him back his room to stretch. But her skin felt hot and prickly, her stomach stirred with a feminine awareness she was glad to learn she still possessed. For the last few years, she’d grown afraid the ability to feel arousal had died off inside her.

  But it stirred now, waking up organs that hadn’t seen use in too long, making them stretch and yawn and glance around to see who’d awakened them. Unable to help herself, she shifted on her stool to ease a breath closer to him.

  “Thank you,” she repeated dutifully, though she no longer remembered what she was thanking him for, him giving over his second stool for her to sit on, or him awakening a long-dormant part of her so she could grow ultra-aware of him as a man.

  Her lips were so dry as she spoke they stuck together a little. She licked them and a shocking jolt speared up the insides of her thighs when Cooper’s whiskey-pale gaze lowered to her mouth. He nodded and smiled, his eyes lifting to hers only to flicker back down. He looked as if he wanted to lean in and kiss her.

  God, he was tantalizing. Panties must drop wherever he went. In fact, the pair she wore suddenly felt a little strange and ultra-sensitive against her skin as if they were tempted to slither down her legs and fall away on their own accord.

  “So, Em said you’re in Dallas now.” Clearing his throat, Cooper reached past her for more peanuts.

  When his elbow came within a fraction of an inch from brushing her already sensitized breasts, she drew in a breath. The sound must’ve touched his ear because he turned just in time to see how close he’d come to grazing her. His eyes flared and he opened his mouth, lips forming an apology, but he changed his mind at the last moment and decided to ignore the close encounter.

  She prayed she wasn’t nipping. But from the way he zipped his attention back to facing forward, rushing out a heavy, uneasy breath, she feared the worst.

  Jo Ellen took her turn to clear her throat. “Yes, I uh, I started my own business there.”

  Gaze darting back to her, Cooper stared hard before a slow, appreciative smile worked across his feature. “Did you?” She could see it in his eyes, he was genuinely happy for her. “What kind of business?”

  She hesitated. If he called all her hard work a rent-a-hostess, she’d have to…she’d have to…well, she wasn’t certain what she’d do, but it wouldn’t be pleasant. It’d probably be embarrassing, tearful, and very, very…unpleasant. Stomach knotting with apprehension, she explained her job. But instead of snorting or even giving a polite, disinterested nod, letting her know he’d totally lost interest, he watched her as if enthralled.

  “That’s amazing, Jo Ellen.” He looked proud enough to make her chest swell with honor. “I bet you’re perfect at that. I can easily see you organizing a high-society party.”

  A quick frown knit her brow. “You can?” Because only cheap rent-a-hostesses did such menial tasks; or because he’d always seen her as some kind of prissy highbrow?

  She should’ve known better than to think he’d in any way demean her, though. Loren Gerhardt would only raise a perfect gentleman. “Sure,” he told her, his grin broad. “You’re the most…elegant person I ever met, a natural hostess. I bet all the rich socialites are knocking each other down to get you at their parties.”

  Her heart fluttered and her cheeks heated. “Well…I have been heavily booked,” she couldn’t help but brag. Just a little. Hell, she’d worked her butt off to deserve those bragging rights. “To spend the week here, I had to decline a dozen different requests. And I’ve got a job as soon as I return. It’s going to be a tight squeeze but the senator wouldn’t take no for an answer; he even doubled his offer.”

  Cooper’s sexy blond eyebrows arched. “A senator?” He let out a low, appreciative whistle. “You have caught the attention of some big names. And it sounds like you love your job too.”

  “I do.” She smiled. “I really do.” But even as she grinned and swelled with happy warmth, a part of her shriveled with disappointment. This might’ve been what she’d always wanted professionally, but her personal life had suffered the consequences.

  She flashed her twin a glance, all cuddled up with Branson as they sat together, nearly sharing one stool on the other side of Alexa and Dexter. A part of her mourned, realizing she might’ve sacrificed too much, lost too many golden opportunities when she’d put all her time into starting her own business. Another part of her equally mourned because in all honesty, she knew she still never would’ve found what Emma Leigh had obviously found with Branson, even if she hadn’t been so busy working.

  Travis had broken something inside her ten years ago. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to trust a man like that again. She just couldn’t commit. And if she couldn’t put a commitment into a relationship, she didn’t even want to bother.

  “Bathroom,” Alexa said abruptly, rattling Jo Ellen from her declining thoughts. Before she could ask what her cousin-in-law meant, Alexa’s hand grasped her elbow and jerked her off her barstool, dragging her toward the ladies’ room.

  “Um, okay,” Jo Ellen answered, stumbling to catch her balance as she tripped along behind the nearly sprinting pregnant woman. She threw Cooper a worried cringe, hoping she hadn’t insulted him by dashing off in the middle of their conversation. But he lifted his eyebrows in amusement and waved a couple fingers at her in farewell.

  “Em,” Alexa called as she dragged Jo Ellen along. “I said bathroom.”

  Emma Leigh lifted her face from where she’d been flirting with Branson and frowned. “But I don’t have to go.”

  Alexa darted a dirty scowl over her shoulder and roared, “Now!”

  “Geez, all right, okay. I’m coming.” Emma grumbled as she slid off her stool. After slapping a quick, departing kiss to her husband’s cheek, she hurried to catch up. “What’s the big fuss anyway, Lex? You had Joey with you. And I’ll tell you right now, I don’t group potty.”

  Jo Ellen frowned at her sister, prepared to berate her for being obstinate when Alexa clearly wanted their company, but as soon as the bathroom door closed the three of them inside the dim, dank lavatory, Alexa burst into tears.

  “I wet my pants,” she bawled, though the muted words sounded more like I met my mants through the two layers of fingers she held horrified over her mouth.

  Jo Ellen gaped at her. Then she blinked and shared a look with Em, silently asking, did she just say what I think she said?

  Emma whirled back to Alexa. “You did what?”

  With her hands covering her face and only letting them see bits of her red, blushing cheeks, Alexa muffled the words again. “I freaking peed my pants. I can’t believe it. I didn’t even know I had to go. One second I was chowing down, then there was this gush, and it’s all wet and…and…”

  Since Emma Leigh was too busy gawking as if Lexi had turned alien on them, Jo Ellen rushed forward to catch her cousin-in-law in a warm, supportive hug. “It’s okay, sweetie. Don’t worry. We can handle this. I’m sure with thirty extra pounds pressing on your bladder, it happens all the time to women in your condition.” Needing her twin’s backup, she sent a telling took to Em. “Right, Emma Leigh?”

  Emma Leigh winkled her nose before giving a slight negative slash of the head. “I never peed my pants when I was pregnant.”

  As Lexi sobbed even louder and hid her bright-pink face against Jo Ellen’s shoulder, Jo Ellen scowled. “Could you possibly be a little supportive here? She’s clearly upset. You understand what she’s going through more than I do. Tell he
r this is normal.”

  “But I never—”

  “Emma Leigh!” Jo Ellen cried, wanting to strangle her sister, not for the first time in her life. “I said supportive.”

  “Oh, all right.” Easing hesitantly closer, she nudged Lexi’s arm. “Buck up, sport. At least you’ll have something in common with your new baby now, huh.”

  As Jo Ellen sighed and rolled her eyes, Lexi thankfully blurted out a shocked laugh. She lifted her face, wiped her red eyes and threw Em a tremulous grin. “Oh my God, you suck at moral support.”

  Emma grinned back, looking proud. “I know, right?”

  With another heaving breath of exasperation, yet relieved the tension had abated, Jo Ellen patted Lexi’s arm. “Why don’t you step into a stall and toss your underwear over the door. We’ll hold it under the hand dryer until you’re dry and good to go again.”

  “Thank you, Jo Ellen. You’re a life saver.” Following orders, she promptly slipped into a stall and latched the door closed.

  “I can’t believe you seriously peed your pants.” Emma Leigh wandered to the sinks to inspect her face in the single mirror. She leaned close to pat a discoloration on the side of her nose. “Bran is going to die laughing when he hears—”

  “If you tell him, I will slaughter you.”

  “Oh, honey, there’s no way I’m keeping this from him. Wild horses couldn’t—”

  “Panties incoming.”

  Jo Ellen stepped forward and caught the wad of cloth sailing over the bathroom stall. She grimaced when her fingers encountered wetness. But determined to be a supportive cousin-in-law, she trooped dutifully toward the dryer.

  “Please don’t tell him, Em,” Lex had resorted to begging. “This is downright humiliating.”

  Thinking the two needed their attention diverted, Jo Ellen cleared her throat and decided now was as good a time as any to announce, “So, I ran into Travis the other day.”

  Mission accomplished, she watched Emma Leigh gasp and swivel toward her. Eyes wide with shock, she opened her mouth to demand answers. Jo Ellen pushed the dryer on, successfully drowning out her twin’s question.