The Winter Garden

by Heidi Swain

  ‘Here,’ I said, throwing him a bath towel, ‘take your jeans off under this and I’ll stick them in the dryer for a few minutes.’

  He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

  ‘What?’ I snapped. ‘I don’t see why I should be only one who’s suffered total humiliation, do you?’

  ‘Turn around then,’ he grumbled.

  I walked out and went to check on Nell. I had no desire to stay and watch him strip off.

  He sat at the table in sullen silence and wrapped in the towel while I mopped and tidied around him, before bracing myself to go back into the cupboard and turn the water back on. As I ducked into the space, having propped the door open again, I could imagine how useful it could be.

  There was room for all sorts to be tucked away out of sight and I felt determined to try and use it. After all, it wasn’t the cupboard that had been the problem all those years ago, was it? It was my spiteful cousin and, as long as she wasn’t around to lock me in, then perhaps I could finally conquer my fear.

  Had Finn not been sitting in the kitchen, I would have let out a whoop of delight at my moment of enlightenment but he was, so I settled for a mental high five instead.

  Back in the kitchen, I wrote a note reminding me not to tip anything down the sink and stuck it on the tiles before retrieving Finn’s jeans from the dryer.

  ‘Here you go,’ I said, handing them back.

  ‘Thanks,’ he muttered, still clearly hacked off.

  I knew why I was in a bad mood with him, but had no idea why he was apparently fed up with me. If he was still miffed over what had happened with Chloe then he needed to get over it, because we had. And if he was regretting our kiss, then he needn’t be fretting over that either because as wonderful as it was, it was just a couple of minutes out of my whole life and I had no intention of telling anyone about it.

  As he eased his legs into the trousers, I couldn’t help but notice a bruise was already blooming on the back of his leg. His unnecessary heroics had caused us both bodily harm.

  ‘I’ll be off then,’ he said, handing me the towel.

  ‘Before you go,’ I said, knowing that as we were both grumpy already then mentioning it couldn’t possibly make things any worse, ‘can I ask you something?’

  He shrugged in response as he bent to pull on his rigger boots.

  ‘Why have you been talking about me behind my back?’

  He took a moment before standing straight and when he did, there was a deep-set frown creasing his brow. It was the look I had now come to associate with him most, which was a shame because he looked far more attractive when he smiled, like he had the day he showed me the hares. I only had to close my eyes to remember the effect that had had on me.

  ‘Who said I’ve been talking about you behind your back?’

  ‘It was—’

  ‘No wait,’ he interrupted, ‘let me guess. It was, Zak, right?’

  ‘Yes,’ I testily said, ‘it was actually.’

  ‘And you believed him?’

  I had no reason not to, especially as he’d sworn that he’d turned over a new leaf and had consequently given me no cause to doubt him. Not that I could tell Finn that, not after the promise I had made to let people work it out for themselves and, given the look on Finn’s face, he wouldn’t have believed me anyway.

  ‘It’s not really the fact that you’ve been talking that’s hacked me off,’ I carried on, ‘it’s more the fact that you’ve been talking about something that you don’t even know the details of.’

  ‘Well you’re a fine one to talk,’ he laughed. ‘Talk about hypocritical!’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘You told me everything I needed to know in the pub,’ he said, roughly brushing past and making for the front door. ‘And backed it up with that phone call in the studio and anyway, aren’t you the one who’s been going behind my back and asking my brother about me? He told me that you were very interested in my past when he bought you a drink in the pub Friday night.’

  ‘He didn’t buy me a drink,’ I said, although that was hardly the point.

  ‘But you did ask him about my relationship history?’

  ‘Well, yes,’ I admitted, ‘but he didn’t tell me—’

  ‘Like I said, that’s totally hypocritical when you’ve just lectured me about not knowing the full story about yours. Don’t you think you would have been better off talking to me, rather than Zak?’

  We seemed to have reached an impasse and glared at each other, neither wanting to be the one to ask for details first. Not that I was much in the mood for sharing and I daresay he wasn’t either.

  ‘I don’t honestly think I care enough to carry on with this conversation,’ I told him as he reached for the door.

  ‘Fine by me,’ he ranted, slamming it behind him and making the house rock again.

  Chapter 17

  Even though I still hadn’t got to the bottom of what it was that Finn had assumed he knew about me, as I tossed and turned in bed that night, I came to the conclusion that I was just going to have to accept the fact that we were never going to get along.

  Whatever the barrier was between us, it had been there from the second we met, and not even a spontaneous moment of passion had been able to shift it. It was hugely inconvenient that I still felt so attracted to him, but I would just have to work harder on getting over that.

  It had perhaps been naïve of me when I moved into the square to think that I was going to become friends with everyone, and if it was only him who rubbed me up the wrong way and vice versa, then I supposed that was still pretty good going, given the number of people who lived in the close-knit community.

  I would do what Luke had asked of me, and work with Finn when it came to deciding where best to place his sculptures around the garden, but beyond that I would avoid him.

  ‘So, what exactly was the problem then?’ Chloe asked as I relayed to her the details of what had happened after she left on Tuesday.

  I hadn’t mentioned the part Finn played in the farcical proceedings, just the watery welcome home bit, and me resorting to crawling about in my underwear to find the source of the problem to add a comedic twist to the tale.

  ‘A worn-out sink seal and some knocked pipework,’ I précised. ‘I haven’t used the sink since so it will be dry when I come to mend it at the weekend. I would have sorted it sooner, but what with things being busy here and Saturday to prepare for, I haven’t had time to even get the sealer in yet.’

  ‘So how are you managing to wash up?’

  ‘I’m doing it in the bathroom.’

  ‘And do you know how to fix the problem?’

  ‘Yes,’ I told her. ‘It’s hardly rocket science, but a plumber would charge plenty to sort it and as it was my fault the pipe got knocked, I feel responsible for the repair. My finances can’t run to a plumber, so…’

  ‘You’re opting to do it yourself.’

  ‘Exactly,’ I sighed, for some reason wondering how Finn’s bruise was faring. ‘And I wish I’d never said anything to Luke because…’

  My words trailed off as I heard someone crunching along the gravel path. Given my failed conviction to not think about him, I hoped I hadn’t now conjured up Finn’s physical form.

  ‘Morning, Freya,’ beamed Zak as he appeared around the corner. ‘Morning, Chloe.’

  ‘Hey, Zak,’ I replied, ignoring the pang of disappointment his appearance didn’t deserve. ‘What are you doing here so early?’

  What I really wanted to ask was what he was doing here at all. Given that he’d all but finished work in the house, he was still maintaining an extremely strong presence in the vicinity. Stronger than his brother anyway, and he actually lived on site.

  ‘Just a couple of things for Luke,’ he told me, ‘including sorting out your dodgy sink.’

  ‘There’s no need,’ I told him, exasperated that Luke hadn’t believed me when I had told him that it was all in hand. ‘I’m doing it at the weekend
.’

  ‘It’s not my call,’ he said, picking up the bulb planter and scrutinising it. ‘I told Luke you were more than capable of dealing with a little job like that, but he’s got a bee in his bonnet about water.’

  ‘Oh yes,’ I said, biting my lip as I remembered. ‘Kate did mention that he’s on high water alert after a burst pipe incident last year.’

  ‘That did cause one hell of a rumpus,’ said Zak, turning the planter up the wrong way. ‘What is this?’ he frowned.

  I gave him a quick demonstration, much to Chloe’s amusement but only because it was easier for him to see it in action, than explain.

  ‘Cool,’ he beamed, kneeling next to me so he could have a go himself. ‘So how about it then?’

  Chloe looked at me and rolled her eyes.

  ‘Fixing the sink, I mean,’ he quickly qualified without so much as a smirk, which made Chloe’s eyebrows shoot up.

  ‘Can you come over about four?’ I asked. ‘We’re packing up early this afternoon, at Luke’s insistence, so we can make the most of the Christmas carnival.’

  The street next to Nightingale Square was holding a full-on festive event that evening. The road was going to be completely closed to traffic, apart from Santa’s sleigh and, as well as the shops staying open late, there would be street performers, food carts, carollers and market stalls, all with a seasonal twist.

  Lots of us were going to walk down together and I had been looking forward to it all week. It was about time I started my Christmas shopping and I was excited to be getting in the mood.

  ‘All right,’ Zak agreed, standing up and handing back the planter. ‘I’ll see you in the square at four. Nice scarf by the way,’ he added, addressing Chloe, who was wearing a very bright and colourful knitted creation of her own making. ‘Very striking.’

  He strode off, whistling and with a spring in his step, and Chloe looked from his retreating figure to me and back again, her mouth moving like a marionette who had lost the puppeteer who supplied her voice.

  ‘Oh well,’ I said, ‘that saves me the hassle, I suppose.’

  ‘Saves you the hassle,’ she eventually repeated, sounding incredulous. ‘Is that all you can say?’

  ‘What else is there to say?’ I shrugged, pushing the barrow along a bit.

  ‘But,’ she said, pointing to where Zak had disappeared, ‘we just had a completely normal conversation with Zak Stanton.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And,’ she said, ‘there were no bulging muscles, no bravado, no flirting and no cringeworthy innuendo.’

  ‘Is that really what a standard conversation with him is always full of then?’

  ‘You know it is,’ she said. ‘You’ve seen, and heard, him in action.’

  I had been privy to some of that, but I had to play it down in view of my recent promise.

  ‘Well,’ I shrugged, ‘I’ve hardly known him any time at all, have I? And I did have a feeling that he couldn’t be like that all the time. Especially the bulging muscles bit. It’s freezing today so he could hardly strut about in a T-shirt, could he?’

  ‘But he didn’t even strut,’ she pointed out, still sounding gobsmacked.

  ‘Like I said,’ I nodded, rubbing my hands together, ‘it’s too cold for all that and we need to get on. We’ve got loads to get through if we want to finish early again.’

  * * *

  ‘So, how did I do?’ Zak asked, later that afternoon when he was ensconced in my kitchen with a mug of tea, a plate of biscuits and Nell’s head perched on his knee.

  She wasn’t usually so demonstrative when it came to showing affection, especially to men she barely knew. Eloise and I had always speculated that she must have been mistreated in the past and that made her wary, but she was more than happy to cosy up with Zak. Unless it was the biscuits she was after, but I didn’t think it was.

  ‘Do?’ I frowned, sitting opposite him.

  ‘This morning,’ he elaborated. ‘Talking to you and Chloe. I reckon the compliment about the scarf might have been a step too far.’

  I couldn’t help but laugh as I remembered Chloe’s expression after he had gone.

  ‘That and the sight of you in a jumper,’ I told him. ‘The poor girl didn’t know what had hit her.’

  He patted Nell’s head. ‘I’m still trying to get the balance right,’ he told me with a smile. ‘And anyway, I’m about to lose the jumper.’

  He stood up, reached for the hem with crossed arms and pulled it over his head, taking the T-shirt underneath almost completely with it. Given the taut, toned and tanned torso I was faced with, I thought that it was hardly surprising that he liked to show it off. Creating and maintaining a body which looked like that had to be a full-on commitment. I quickly looked away before he caught me staring.

  ‘Don’t strip off on my account,’ I told him, gathering the mugs and then putting them back down again when I remembered I had nowhere to deposit them.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ he said, reaching for his workbag. ‘I’m not. I just won’t have time to go home and change before the carnival, and I don’t want to mess it up.’

  ‘I see,’ I blushed.

  ‘And between you and me,’ he winked, getting down on all fours, ‘I’m actually happier keeping it on. For one thing, it’s much warmer than a T-shirt and I’ve recently discovered that women seem rather fond of a well-built fella in a chunky knit.’

  ‘Is that right?’ I laughed.

  ‘Sure is,’ he said seriously while carefully pulling on a head torch so as not to mess up his hair which had grown out a bit. ‘I should have been layering up years ago.’

  It took him no time to sort the sink and he stressed again that it was a job I was more than capable of and that he hoped I didn’t mind him muscling in.

  ‘Not at all,’ I told him. ‘You were only doing what Luke asked after all.’

  Nell had shuffled over to him and had a paw resting on his leg.

  ‘You,’ he said, leaning over to her to kiss her head, ‘are an absolute sweetheart, aren’t you?’

  ‘She’s certainly fond of you,’ I told him, ‘but she’s wary around men as a rule.’

  ‘Even Finn?’ Zak asked.

  ‘Especially Finn,’ I sighed, thinking how differently the two brothers had behaved in my kitchen.

  Finn had been all about the crashing, groaning and shouting whereas Zak had been slow, steady and quiet, not to mention tender and kind to Nell. Given his flirtatious in-your-face reputation, I could have been forgiven for assuming it should have been the other way around.

  ‘And how is my brother?’ Zak asked. ‘I’ve been staying out of his way. I thought it best to put a bit of time between our last encounter and the next so it might not come as quite such a shock when I don’t carry on acting like the cock, he quite rightly thinks I am.’

  That was further proof that Zak was in earnest about his fresh start and I was pleased he had thought it all through.

  ‘I have no idea,’ I told him. ‘I haven’t seen him for a couple of days.’

  ‘But I thought you were working together on some project for the garden.’

  ‘We are,’ I said, looking away, ‘but we haven’t had much to do yet, so…’

  ‘Do I sense trouble in paradise?’ Zak asked, without a trace of his former teasing.

  ‘Not at all,’ I told him, with what I hoped was a nonchalant shrug. ‘We just don’t seem capable of getting on, so I’ve decided to keep our relationship on a strictly professional footing.’

  ‘Aside from the fact that you’ve both expressed curiosity about each other’s current relationship status and past loves, it’s all work, work, work,’ Zak astutely pointed out.

  ‘I know what you’re getting at,’ I shot back, ‘but that was just because we were getting to know each other and now we do, we’ve come to the conclusion that we don’t like each other all that much.’

  ‘I think that’s just because you don’t properly know each other,’ Zak interrupted. ‘I daresay yo
u’ve got more story behind you than a jilted groom, and if you knew why Finn—’

  ‘I have no interest in knowing why Finn anything,’ I snapped.

  Peter had hardly been the jilted groom, standing at the altar surrounded by family, friends and overblown floral displays. The reality was that he’d barely got the ring on my finger before I’d decided to take it off again, and as for Finn’s reasons for objecting to my life choices, well, I didn’t want to know what they were.

  ‘I just think—’ Zak tried again.

  ‘Well, don’t,’ I said, throwing him his jumper. ‘Where your brother and I are concerned, please don’t think at all. Now come on, otherwise we’ll be late for the carnival.’

  ‘And we can’t have that. I’m never late to a party.’

  * * *

  The street was already packed by the time we, and practically everyone else from the square, congregated on the green and walked down together. Exactly as the posters had advertised, the whole area was alive with festive music, extra decorations and a whole host of mouth-watering smells.

  ‘Here,’ I said to Zak, handing him a soft bread roll from Blossom’s which was crammed full of sliced turkey, pigs in blankets and cranberry and gin jelly.

  ‘What’s this?’

  ‘A thank you for sorting out my sink,’ I told him.

  ‘Luke’s already seen me right for that,’ he pointed out.

  ‘Just eat it, will you?’ I told him, as I swallowed down the first delectable bite of mine. ‘I can’t manage two.’

  He followed my lead and was soon making yummy noises of his own. We tried the deep-fried brussels sprouts next, which were far tastier than I could have imagined, and washed it all down with orange and cinnamon infused mulled wine. Last on the festive food list was Christmas pudding ice cream, which Zak insisted on paying for.

  ‘I’ve got to head off,’ he said, bending his head so I could hear him above the Salvation Army band which was belting out a rousing rendition of ‘The Holly and the Ivy’. ‘I’m meeting a mate, but maybe I’ll see you later, in the pub.’