Moving Target

by Kimberly Van Meter

  Nathan nodded as if he knew that logically but rational thought never shared a bed with the emotional heart. “I tell myself that but it’s hard, especially when your parents blame you for what happened, too. I think Bunny was the only kid they actually cared about.”

  “I’m beginning to think that forgetting certain memories is a blessing,” Jake admitted.

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind losing a few,” Nathan agreed. “We had the worst parents I can ever imagine. And we only had each other. But I couldn’t take another minute of living in that house and I split the first chance I got, leaving you behind in the process. I made you a promise that night to come back and get you but I joined the marines and didn’t see you again until recently. I wanted to come back, but circumstances were never right and by the time I had the resources, you were already in the army, making your own mark on the world and I figured I was the last person you wanted to see, anyway. And I was right. What I’m trying to say is, you had every reason to hate me and I wouldn’t feel right not admitting that to you and pretending like it never happened just because you can’t remember.”

  Jake didn’t know what to say. He didn’t feel any anger toward Nathan. Whatever had been there previously, had all been wiped away. “Sounds like you were a kid trying to survive. Nothing to apologize for, as far as I can tell. I can’t say what I was feeling before I was injected with that drug but I do know that you pulled me from that bunker and you’re helping me now, so whatever happened in the past...I’m thinking it can stay there.”

  And then tears sparkled in Nathan’s eyes and Jake knew he’d said the right thing. It felt right, besides. Silence returned between them but this time, it no longer felt awkward, but simply comfortable. If he and Nathan had once been close, perhaps they could be again with time. Jake was open to that and grateful for a brother who wanted to rebuild something that had been broken so long ago.

  * * *

  Nathan left Jake on the porch and returned to the house where he found Holden nursing a beer, lost in his own thoughts. He’d managed to talk Holden into staying the night and he was glad because his friend wasn’t looking so good. Not that he blamed him, the guy had lost his twin brother a few months ago and they’d been pretty close.

  Nathan took a seat across from him and cracked his own beer, thankful to be in his own home and not that bunker. “You okay?” he asked Holden. “Thinking of Miko?”

  Holden didn’t answer right away. Then, he said, “I was thinking of that drug and how it’s affected Jake. A part of me wished that Miko had taken the drug. Maybe he’d still be around if he hadn’t been dogged by all that guilt.”

  “That’s a slippery slope, man. That drug does more than just erase the painful memories—it takes all the good ones, too. Miko wouldn’t have wanted that.”

  Holden nodded but the motion lacked conviction. Nathan sighed, knowing that as much as he missed his friend, Holden was missing his brother more. “I appreciate your help in this situation. I know it couldn’t have been easy so soon after Miko’s death.”

  “The world doesn’t stop turning, right?” Holden finished his beer. “I know that but at times, I can’t stop thinking about what happened and why.”

  “That’s a first-class ticket to crazy. There’s no unraveling what happened with Miko. Bad choices and even worse consequences. That’s it. He was a good guy. Just remember that. That’s what I do. He was my friend and that’s how he’ll remain in my memory. He was your brother and nothing will change that, either, no matter what the reports say about his conduct”

  “Yeah, I know. But that’s the thing...I think the reports are wrong.”

  Nathan stopped and stared at Holden. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve been doing some digging...I know ID has been shut down and that’s all good, but I think there’s more to the story. My brother wasn’t the kind of guy who would do the things they said he did.”

  Nathan’s spirits fell. He understood Holden’s reluctance to believe what his brother had done but Nathan knew the facts, even if they were painful to accept. However, he also knew Holden didn’t want to hear Nathan’s opinion on it right now. “If you believe there’s more to the story...don’t give up until you’re satisfied. That’s what I would do.”

  Nathan knew that eventually Holden would have to come to the realization that Miko had indeed, simply taken a wrong turn, but until then, he wouldn’t lose a friend by insisting on it.

  “I’m real sorry about Jake,” Holden said. “I hope he pulls through. Losing a brother...it’s rough.”

  Nathan nodded, thankful that his brother was still alive and kicking, even if he was a bit dotty in the memory department.

  “I’d give anything to have my brother back.” Holden crushed his can and tossed it into the garbage before heading for the second guest bedroom and disappearing behind the closed door.

  Nathan spent several minutes just sitting there, thinking of Miko and everything that had happened with Tessara and ID. He knew where Holden was coming from, hell, he’d lived through it and he didn’t want to believe how badly things had gone down but did he believe that there was more to the picture than what they already knew? Not really. He hoped for Holden’s sake that he found closure. Nathan was tired of all the subterfuge, secrets and lies. Too many lives had been messed with and he was done with it all.

  * * *

  Several weeks went by, filled with tense meetings with the Defense Intelligence Department, as Michelle Rainier tried to convince Kat to take on a new identity and leave Jake behind until Kat finally put her foot down and declared that she wasn’t going anywhere without Jake and that was final.

  “You can understand our concern with you remaining in the private sector,” Michelle said. “That drug can never hit the streets.”

  “I won’t leave Jake,” Kat said, crossing her arms. “We love each other.”

  “How is his memory?” she asked.

  “Improving every day. It takes work but he’s beginning to remember small details.”

  Michelle nodded with approval at the promising news. “In your clinical opinion, do you feel a full recovery is possible?”

  “With time,” Kat answered carefully. “But if I had access to my lab notes I might be able to expedite the process.”

  “We’ve had our team of scientists studying your notes and I have to say that you’re brilliant—and light-years ahead of anything we can replicate. I do wish your notes hadn’t been coded, though. It’s taken just as much time to decode your notes as it has to follow them.”

  “I’d say that’s a good thing,” Kat said. “I don’t want anyone replicating what I’ve done.”

  Michelle leaned forward. “Come work for us.”

  Kat stared. Had this woman lost her mind? Work for the people who had caused all this turmoil? Not a chance.

  Michelle saw the storm brewing in Kat’s expression and said, “Hear me out. You’re right in that even if we change your identity, nothing is foolproof. Someone might find out who you are and what you’re capable of. However, if you work for us, we can grant you top security clearance with a sizable increase in income, which will enable you to continue working in your field, with better resources and top-notch security.”

  “People still might find out about MCX-209,” Kat maintained stubbornly, not willing to take the chance. “It’s too risky.”

  “We have resources. We can destroy all mention of the drug and its formula. Tessara Pharm has already relinquished all your data and scrubbed your computer of all notes pertaining to MCX-209. The only reference is here in this lab, which you could control if you were the department head.”

  To be department head of a state-of-the-art lab? The temptation pulled at the scientist in her but her heart was still leery. “What kind of work would I be doing here?” she asked, cautious curious. “Nothing ille
gal?”

  “Nothing illegal. We follow strict guidelines set forth by the FDA in our drug trials. Our experiments are more cerebral than chemical. We employ the nation’s top minds and I think you would fit in perfectly among our team of geniuses.”

  In another time, this offer would’ve been a dream come true. “What about Jake?” she asked.

  “Jake is still a valuable member of this team. When he recovers, his job is waiting for him.”

  Kat chewed her lip in thought. Jake had expressed a concern about his future, what he was qualified to do, how he would provide a living now that his circumstances had changed—man stuff. A small smile followed at the private thought. Michelle was offering a chance to rebuild their lives—to move out of Nathan and Jaci’s home—and start fresh. “Who would I answer to?” she asked.

  “Me.”

  “And only you?”

  “And only me.”

  Kat liked Michelle. She seemed a straight shooter and after Kat’s ordeal, she appreciated that quality in a person. She had loved her lab, even if she’d been ordered to do evil things in it. Could she walk back into that lab and forget all the terrible things that happened there? No. But she suspected if she agreed to sign on the dotted line, Michelle could make some adjustments. “If I agreed, you’d have to meet some requests,” Kat warned.

  “Name them.”

  “I can’t work in that lab again. It’s tainted with what happened. I’ll need a whole new lab.”

  Michelle laughed. “Understandable and that’s easily met. You wouldn’t be working in The Bunker—I’m in the process of decommissioning that facility. After what happened with Miles Jogan, I think it’s best to distance ourselves from that place. My dear, you would be coming to Washington to work in a state-of-the-art lab there, not in some underground box in New Mexico.”

  “Oh!” Kat exclaimed, happier than she realized she’d be. “That makes a big difference in how I feel about your offer.”

  “Glad to hear it.”

  “One more thing... The people who died in that place...I wanted to honor them in some way. They died needlessly.”

  “What did you have in mind? We have to tread cautiously. As far as the record is concerned, what happened in The Bunker never happened, as I’m sure you can understand.”

  “I know. But some of those people had families who might be worried about them. It’s not right, just because they were drug addicts, to let their families suffer by not knowing that they’re never coming home again.”

  “I understand your pain and your determination to make it right somehow. But we can’t tell the families what happened without endangering the entire department. But you can honor those people by ensuring something like this never happens again.”

  Kat knew in her heart that Michelle was telling the truth. To inform the families would be to open up the department to public scrutiny, and for a department that operates behind a cloak of secrecy, that probably wasn’t a good idea. “Can we build a memorial somewhere on the grounds? I want to be able to look at it and remember their sacrifice, even if I’m the only person who knows what it stands for.”

  Michelle nodded, pleased with the idea. “That would be very appropriate. I will get a team on it and of course, we’ll want your input as to its design.”

  Kat nodded, knowing this was the best they could do. It wasn’t ideal but it was something. All that remained was to seal the deal.

  “Where do I sign up?”

  “Welcome to the team,” Michelle said, smiling as she shook Kat’s hand. “We’re honored to have someone like you with us.”

  Kat released a shaky breath, feeling as if she’d just taken a huge leap toward a new future.

  But only time would tell if it was the future she envisioned.

  * * *

  “I don’t like it,” Jake said when Kat told him of Michelle’s offer. “I think you ought to take the identity swap and stop worrying about me.”

  “Don’t be stupid, I would never leave you behind,” Kat said, frowning and hurt that he would suggest such a thing after everything they’d been through. “This is a perfect opportunity to take control of our lives. I didn’t like the idea of hiding on the run, anyway. This way, I can continue my work without the threat of someone finding out who and what I do, because I’ll be in control of all information. It’s really the best of both worlds and I can’t believe you’re throwing a fit about it!”

  “You’re the one being stupid,” Jake argued, unable to temper his words. He was frustrated by his slow progress and feeling damn useless. How was he supposed to provide for Kat when he couldn’t remember how he used to make a living? He was barely qualified to be a checker at Walmart much less a government agent, no matter that his job awaited him when he recovered—if he recovered at all. “You have to stop putting your life in jeopardy for me. You need to take the identity swap.”

  “That’s not a guarantee of safety,” she countered, her frown deepening. “All it will take is one person finding out that I created MCX-209 and I’ll be on the run again, my life in danger with no support or help. This way, I have protection.”

  “Yeah, from the very people who had tried to force you to make the drug that did this to me,” Jake said bitterly. “Doesn’t fill me with much confidence.”

  “Michelle is a good person. She wouldn’t make me do anything like Miles did. I trust her.”

  “Never trust anyone in government,” Jake returned darkly, and she cocked her head at him in confusion. He shrugged. “I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately. I have more spare time than I’m accustomed to.”

  He was becoming a regular couch potato. Progress was coming but it was far too slow for his tastes. He wanted to remember everything now, not ten years from now. Somehow, even though he was being a royal ass, a warm smile spread across Kat’s lips as she surprised him with a cuddle, saying, “It’s moments like these that I know I truly love you, because you can be such a pill when you are feeling peckish.”

  “I am not feeling peckish,” he said, his arms wrapping around her instinctually. That settled feeling that followed whenever they touched blanketed his frustration, snuffing it out until he was left with only love for this woman.

  “You know you’re a terrible patient,” she said, gazing up at him. “Surly, cantankerous, uncooperative...the worst.”

  “I know.”

  “But even so, I love you, Jake Isaacs.”

  Her words were a balm to his ragged senses, but he couldn’t understand why she’d want to hitch her wagon to his lame horse. “What if I never regain all my memories and I remain this useless waste of oxygen?”

  “Stop it,” she chastised him. “You’re alive and that’s what matters. I sleep beside you each night and wake up to you every morning. For me, that’s enough. And besides, the rest will come. I have faith. Until then, you’re just going to have to get right with the idea that I will be the provider for a while.”

  “I guess so. Feels weird, though. I feel as if I should be contributing more. I feel like a burden,” he admitted.

  “Well, you’re not,” she said, reaching to kiss him on the nose. “You’re my knight in shining armor and you will regain your memories because somewhere locked in that brain is the memory of our first time together and that’s something you’re going to want to remember forever.”

  He knew she was right. Jake wanted to hold on to any memory involving Kat. She was his world and he never wanted to let her go. Somehow...someway, he’d make his memories come back. Failure wasn’t an option.

  “Now that we’re finished arguing, let’s have some makeup sex,” Kat suggested with a wink, pulling him toward the bedroom. “I have a new position I found on the internet that I want to try.”

  Jake groaned with fake fear as he allowed her to drag him into their bedroom. “Careful,
you wild woman. The last position nearly crippled me!”

  “Oh, stop being such a baby. Don’t worry, this time we’ll limber up first.”

  How could you not love a woman like that? He might not remember everything—or much of anything at times—but he knew one thing for sure...Kat was the only woman in the world for him.

  And he was just fine with that.

  Epilogue

  “Jake Isaacs did you take my memory stick again?” Kat asked, exasperated as she searched under countless papers, books and assorted research materials for that tiny mega memory stick for her laptop.

  “I don’t remember,” Jake called out, and Kat followed his voice to see him on the computer, playing yet another brain game. He flashed her a devilish grin and she knew he was teasing her.

  “Where’s my stick? I need it to finish my notes.”

  Jake returned to his game. “You are brilliant, you know that? Getting James to do the coding on the games you’ve created was a stroke of genius. And it works, too. This new game is really charging my batteries. I think I remembered something about my childhood.”

  “Yeah?” Kat perked up, grinning at Jake. “What was that?”

  Jake pushed away from the computer desk and reached out to pull Kat into his lap. She landed with a small squeak. “I remembered that I was never much of a game player unless it was the kind of game involving girl parts and boy parts.”

  “Oh! Jake, you’re incorrigible!” She laughed as he nuzzled her neck. “That is not a recovered memory, it’s just part of your DNA. Now, where is my stick?”

  “Forget the stick,” he said, rising from the chair and dumping her on her feet. “Today, we’re doing something special.”

  “Such as?” she asked as he clasped her hand and pulled her to the garden. “Are you feeling all right?”