Break Me Down

by Jennifer Domenico

  I swallow and blink back tears. “I do.”

  “Good,” he says, as a smile spreads across his lips. He nuzzles his mouth and nose against me, inhaling and looking up at me. “This right here has been worth the years of abstinence.”

  I gasp as he dives in, licking and sucking with a ferocity I wasn’t expecting. I moan, tossing my head back and forth on the pillow, tugging at his hair. His tongue moves in circles over my clit, and I start to shake from the intensity of the vibration. Oh shit, oh yes. I’m gonna come. Oh my god. I moan as the tension builds between my legs.

  “Oliver,” I whisper.

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “Feels so good.”

  He plunges two fingers inside of me, and I groan in response. I spread my legs as far as possible as he digs even deeper. Between his tongue and his fingers I feel like I’m floating in a sea of pleasure. He sucks hard on my clit and that was the extra push I needed. I hold my breath and clench as my body gives in to the orgasm spreading over me. I squeeze my eyes shut, dragging my fingers through my hair. Opening my eyes slowly, I smile when I see Oliver hovering over me.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful, Kaia.”

  “Kiss me.”

  He lowers down and our mouths meet again, this time harder, faster, more desperate. I twist us around so that I’m on top of him. Breaking from our kiss, I change direction so that I’m facing his incredible cock. His fingers massage my ass as I slide my mouth over his shaft. I feel another wave of warmth flood my body just from the joy of finally getting this to myself.

  “I need to see your mouth,” Oliver says, his voice suddenly raspy.

  I twist around and smile before devouring him again.

  “Fuck,” he moans. “I’ve fantasized about your mouth so many times. It’s even better than I imagined.”

  I drag my tongue along the underside then suck his balls into my mouth, holding his gaze the entire time. He buries his hands in my hair, watching my every move. I suck the tip, running my tongue in circles over it.

  “Shit, woman,” he mutters.

  I tickle the spot between his balls and his ass, sucking with all my might. He responds by opening his legs further. I bury my face dragging my tongue over every spot of skin, brushing against his opening. He sighs so I press my finger. He grabs my hand stopping me so I move away, not wanting to break the passion of the moment.

  “Climb on top of me,” he demands.

  I clamor to my knees, holding his shaft to my entrance, moving it back and forth. He nods, grinning. A new thought hits me.

  “Protection?” I whisper.

  He shakes his head. “We don’t need it.”

  “I’ve been test—”

  “Kaia,” he interrupts. “I know. It’s okay.”

  I smile and relax as I slide down. I sigh as he fills me and tears cloud my eyes. He trusts me, feels safe, even though he knows what I’ve been. I begin to rock slowly as his hands grip my hips. This is first time in my life I’ve had sex with emotion. The first time I’ve felt something inside. I open my eyes and look down at Oliver, who watches me with his usual intense stare. He reaches up and thumbs my piercing and I smile, understanding his obsession with it.

  Suddenly, he sits up and flips me over. He cups my face, and I grip his hands as he bites and kisses my bottom lip, pounding into me.

  “I can’t go slow, Kaia.”

  “I don’t want you to.”

  “Oh my god, you feel so good,” he breathes the words against my mouth. “Fucking amazing.”

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  Our eyes are locked as we move together. His fingers move to my neck, gripping me, and I smile.

  “Don’t hold back.” I kiss his mouth. “You can be who you want with me.”

  He closes his eyes briefly. When they open again, they’re filled with so much emotion, and I wish he would tell me what he’s thinking.

  “I love you,” I whisper as tears slip from my eyes. “Oliver…”

  “Kaia…” He throws his head back and tenses, as he pumps into me. He kisses me hard for several moments, slumping against me and holding me close. “You’re perfect, Kaia. So perfect.” He looks at me with watery eyes. “I think you just saved my life.”

  I WIPE MY EYES and hold her close, kissing the top of her head. I’ve never experienced sex like that before.

  “Is that what love feels like?” I ask.

  “I don’t know,” she whispers, “but I know it’s different than how it was for me before.”

  “Me too.” I rub her back. “It’s overwhelming, Kaia. Everything I feel right now.”

  “I know.” She looks up at me, and I kiss her mouth. “I’m there too.”

  “What a mind blowing experience to feel…” I pause, searching my mind for words. “All I’ve ever known is pain. Nothing about that just now with you was about pain.”

  “No, Oliver, it wasn’t. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to love you.”

  “I want to love you back, Kaia, but I’m not sure I can. I don’t know if love is in me.”

  “You don’t have to force it. You don’t have to identify it or wish for it. I didn’t ask to fall in love with you. I didn’t want to.” She brushes my cheek with her fingers. “I just did. Maybe you will too, if you just let it happen.”

  “I want you to know,” I say, looking into her eyes. “I want you to know that there’s no one on this Earth more important to me than you. More precious than you. More beautiful than you. I can’t go on the way I was before knowing that it’s possible to feel like I do right now.”

  She smiles through her tears. “That’s all I need.”

  I pull her close and kiss her again. “You’re all I need.”

  I OPEN MY EYES SLOWLY, blinking from the morning light streaming in the room. I sit up quickly, when I realize Kaia isn’t with me. I look around the room, and then relax when the bathroom door opens.

  “Hi,” she says, smiling.

  “Hi.”

  She climbs back into bed and curls up into my arms. “Did you sleep well?”

  “The best of my life.”

  “Me too.”

  We lie together as I stroke her hair. “What are you thinking?” I ask.

  “It meant a lot to me that you don’t think of me as…” she pauses as her voice cracks and I rub her back. “You don’t think of me as dirty.”

  “Why would I?”

  “You know what I’ve done. What I’ve been.”

  “Kaia, sweet Kaia. You think I judge you for that when you know what I’ve been?”

  “No, but, how did you know that you didn’t need to be afraid to have sex with me?”

  “Because you think just like me. You’re not recklessly going to compromise your health. You wouldn’t risk pregnancy with a man you’ll never see again. You’re body is your weapon, so why would you disable it by making a stupid decision?”

  She nods. “I’m psychotic about protection and annual screening.”

  “I knew you would be.” I kiss her cheek. “You weren’t afraid of me either.”

  She laughs softly. “You’ve been abstinent for years. The only thing safer than you is a virgin. Or maybe a priest, but even that’s just a maybe.”

  I laugh. “I love your mind. You’re so witty and sarcastic and sweet. Behind the tough girl you had to create, is the kindest, most loving heart I’ve ever witnessed. You’ve seen the monster and instead of running away, you ran to him and held him. I feel like thanking you, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. How do you thank the person that pulled you from the depths of the ocean? That gave you her air so you could breathe? That waited with you as you healed. How do I thank you for bringing me back to life?”

  “You just did, Oliver.”

  I wipe away the tears sliding down her cheek. “Don’t cry anymore, beautiful Kaia. Don’t stain those pretty eyes. I’m okay. I can breathe now.”

  “I believe that everything we’ve both been seeking is right here.”

 
; “I do too.”

  She lies against my chest and tickles me. “Last night, when I tried to touch your, um…”

  “Yes, I remember.”

  “Off limits?”

  “It is. She used to…” I lower my eyes. “You know how she punished me.”

  “I do.”

  “So, I just can’t allow myself to enjoy it.”

  “I understand, but maybe we can work on it over time. You’ll learn that it’s about pleasure, not punishment. You’ll learn that all I want for you is to feel safe with me.”

  I nod, glancing away, before meeting her eyes again. “I’m gonna try for you, try to bury the beast that bleeds the past and craves causing pain. You don’t deserve that.”

  “You can’t bury him. You tried that. You can only work through it. With me, not away from me.”

  “I can’t show you that.”

  “You already have, and I’m not afraid. I believe, Oliver, I really do believe that you won’t hurt me. I know how to push you, and I will. We can’t live with that hanging over us. You have to unleash him so he’ll go away.”

  “You don't know what I’m capable of. You don’t know the immensity of my darkness. You don’t the demons that dance in my mind.”

  “You don't how much I love you. You don’t know that there’s nothing you could do that would make me leave you. You don’t know, Oliver, how stubborn I can be when I want something. But you’re going to find out.”

  I close my eyes listening to her words. “What if you’re wrong? What if it’s too much for you to bear? I don’t want to risk scaring you away.”

  “We’re victims of the same disease,” she says, touching my face. “Don’t you see that? I’m not some dumb college girl that doesn’t get it. You need to trust me with this.”

  “I don’t know.”

  Kaia sits up, holding my hands in hers. “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to come out of the cage together? Close your eyes and imagine it.” I do as she says. “Imagine the sun shining on your face for the first time after years of being locked in prison, feeling like a horrible person that no one could ever love. Just feel the sun shining.” Her lips press against mine, and I open my eyes. “I’m the sun, Oliver. The doors are open and you can walk out and soak me up. You can feel me all around you, bathing you in my warmth. Now that you felt it, you can’t go back in the prison. It would be ten times worse than it was before.”

  “You’re incredible, you know that? A thousand years of therapy could never do what you did in the last twenty-four hours.”

  She leans over the bed and picks up the cuffs laying on the floor, handing them to me. “Step outside, Oliver. The sun is waiting for you.”

  “I DON’T KNOW WHERE to start,” he says, taking the cuffs from me.

  “I do.” I tilt my head, smiling. “What’s the one thing you’ve wanted to do since you first saw me in the pool naked?” I finger the barbell in my nipple. “I bet I know.”

  “Fuck,” he whispers, dragging the word out.

  “You want to pull this, tug it, bite it? You wanna see how far you can go, how much I can take. Well, I’ll tell you a secret. The idea of that turns me on. You can do whatever you want.”

  He reaches out, pushing my hand away, and twisting my nipple between his fingers. I grin, encouraging him.

  “You should get the other one done too,” he says, his voice suddenly husky.

  “Only if you come with me and watch it happen.”

  He smiles, nodding his head. “Yeah, we’ll do that.”

  “Do you have toys here, Oliver?”

  “I have a few things locked away.”

  “Well,” I say, moving closer to him, and dragging my tongue across his lips. “You should get what you have. The cuffs, the vibrator, the fucking machine. We’re gonna need them all.”

  I watch as his Adam’s apple moves visibly through his throat. “You’re sure you’re ready for this?”

  “I been waiting my whole life for this.”

  I watch a slight smile tug at his lips before it disappears. He narrows his eyes and nods at me. He pushes my shoulder, gently. “Lie down.”

  I smile and do as I’m told.

  “Stop smiling too. You won’t enjoy this.”

  “You’re wrong about that.”

  “We’ll see. Tell me your safe word.”

  “What’s that?”

  “The word you’ll say when you’ve had too much.”

  “I don’t need a word like that.”

  “I do. I need to know your threshold.”

  I shake my head. “No, you don’t. You’ll stop when you’re ready. I’ll endure it until you’re done. I have no threshold, no boundaries you can cross. There are no limits with me.”

  “Everyone has limits.”

  “I guess we’ll find them out together then.”

  “Kaia.”

  “You’ll know. You’ll sense it. You can trust yourself.”

  “You give me more credit than I deserve.”

  “We’ll see who’s right when we’re done.”

  He stares at me in disbelief.

  “What’s your favorite thing to do, Oliver?”

  “Spanking.”

  I flip over to my stomach and look back at him, wiggling my ass. “Here it is.”

  “While fucking your ass,” he adds.

  “Okay,” I say, letting that sink in.

  “Has anyone fucked your ass before, Kaia?”

  “No. You’ll be the first.”

  I hear him release his breath slowly. “It will hurt.”

  I shrug. “I’m glad I can give you this. Something I’ve never given anyone else. I must have been saving it for you.”

  “I’ll try to take it easy on you since it’s your first time.”

  “Whatever you think is best.” I turn back. “Are you going to restrain me?”

  “Absolutely.”

  I smile into the sheets. “Let’s do this.”

  “It’s time for you to stop talking.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I said so.”

  “Ah, but I already know how sweet your punishment is. Maybe I’ll just keep talking.”

  “Be careful. I’ve held back before.”

  “Oh, I know that.”

  Oliver walks away, disappearing into his closet. Several minutes later, he returns with a small chest. He sets it on the bed and unlocks it, while I flip around and sit cross legged watching him. He removes several items, lifting each for my inspection.

  “I’m sure you’ve seen a whip and a crop before,” he says.

  “Yes.”

  “Nipple clamps,” he says, dangling them before me. I nod. “Let’s see,” he says, looking in the box. Smiling he lifts my purple vibrator. “I believe this belongs to you.”

  “It does.”

  “Relax, I’ll be right back.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I don’t have lube so I’m going to the kitchen to get olive oil. It’ll have to do.”

  I nod. As I wait, I pick up each item looking at it. A few moments later, Oliver returns carrying the oil and a plate of cookies.

  “I want the fucking machine too,” I say.

  He tilts his head. “Why?”

  “Because you can’t be in two places at once.”

  He grins and nods. “Be right back.”

  I pick up a cookie and eat it. I have a feeling I’m going to need my strength for this. When he comes back in, he’s carrying it under his arm, and I feel a gush of warmth between my legs. I can’t believe I’m so excited.

  “Lay on your stomach.”

  I nod and roll over, extending my arms above my head. Oliver sits next to me, cuffing my wrists and attaching the cuffs to the headboard. He tugs on them making sure we both know they’re secure.

  He scoops up my hair, pulling it to the side. “You have very pretty hair.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Everything about you is perfection.” He runs his fingers ov
er my back. “Everything.”

  I nod, breathing hard in anticipation.

  “Are you comfortable?”

  “Yes.”

  He lifts my hips and shoves a pillow under me, propping my ass up. He steps behind me and spreads my legs apart. “I could stare at you like this for days. Has anyone ever told you what a pretty little pussy you have?”

  “No,” I whisper.

  “Well, it is. Like a pink little flower waiting to bloom. Do you want me to make you bloom today?”

  “Yes, Doctor.”

  “Oliver.”

  “I like calling you Doctor.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that’s what you are and it’s sexy as fuck. Can I please call you that?”

  He’s silent for a moment. “You may.”

  “Thank you.”

  I feel his hands spread my ass cheeks apart and drag his finger up and down. The next sensation is the dildo from the machine being inserted.

  “You're already wet,” he observes.

  “I want this.”

  “So do I.” He turns the vibrator on and pushes it underneath me, pressing it against my clit.

  I sigh.

  “Feels good?”

  “Yes.”

  He appears in front of me, pulling my head up with my hair. “Suck.” I greedily suck his cock into my mouth, straining from my position. “Do a good job, baby.”

  I nod, shifting my eyes up, but all I can see are the rippled muscles of his torso. It doesn’t take long before I feel the orgasm building deep within.

  “Come for me, Kaia.”

  I groan as the first orgasm crashes over me. I know many more will come. Oliver moves away from me and takes his position behind me. Moments later, soft cold leather smacks against my back and ass. I gasp softly, more from surprise than hurt. He does it again and turns up the intensity on the machine pumping in and out of me. Another smack, and then I feel the cold oil pouring down my backside. I do my best to relax and wait for it. His finger enters first and that pushes me into another orgasm.

  The feeling of it is so intense as his finger slides in and out of my ass. A minute later, another finger goes in, and I moan loudly.

  “You’re doing great, baby. So great,” he says.

  I nod and take a deep breath. Oooh, it’s so much. So much. I feel him pressing against me, and I realize it’s his dick this time. One by one he replaces his fingers with his cock, slowly, pushing softly. My eyes fill with tears, overcome by so much pleasure at one time.