The Ultimate Betrayal

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  She’d told herself that she wouldn’t, but from the moment she’d laid eyes on him, she’d known it was going to happen. Her heart had begun racing, her body had heated up, and her nerves had whirled out of control. She’d missed him just as much as he’d missed her, and as soon as he’d kissed her, she’d known she was in trouble. It had been obvious that things were going to escalate and that there was a chance she wouldn’t be able to leave without sleeping with him. If only she’d followed her first mind and not answered her phone when he’d called her again. By now, she’d be in Mitchell with Phillip, and life would be good. She certainly wouldn’t have made the biggest mistake of her life. It was as if she hadn’t learned a thing from the last affair she’d had with Levi. This time she wasn’t married to Phillip, she was only engaged to him, but knowing that fact still wasn’t making her feel any better about what she’d done. She’d fornicated, committed another sin, and gone behind Phillip’s back with another man.

  Alicia continued down the street and onto the highway that would take her back to her condo. She’d debated whether she should still go to Mitchell after all, but she just couldn’t face Phillip. Not now. So she drove along in silence, weeping profusely at times and wondering how she was going to get beyond this.

  When she was a little less than ten miles from her home, her phone rang. Phillip’s name and number displayed across the dashboard of her car, and her nerves crept up a notch. She wasn’t sure what to do, so she held the steering wheel tight and swallowed hard. Thankfully, the ringing stopped. But then he called right back, and she knew she’d better answer.

  She sniffled a couple of times, trying to regain her composure. “Hello?”

  “Hey baby, how’s it going?” he said, and his words broke her heart. His tone was as upbeat and loving as always.

  “Fine.”

  “I hope I didn’t disturb you. The only reason I called back was because my phone dropped the call before I could leave a message.”

  “No, I was taking a little break, and you don’t ever have to worry about disturbing me because when I’m reading or writing, I keep my phone on silent and in another room.”

  “You sound like you’re in the car.”

  “I am. Headed down to the convenience store to pick up some snacks. I was actually going to call you on my way back home.”

  “I wish I was there to do that for you. That way you wouldn’t have to go out.”

  “I know, but if you were here I wouldn’t get any reading done at all,” she said as silent tears seeped from her eyes. She worked hard not to sniffle or sound nasal. “Plus, I really needed some fresh air.”

  “I can imagine. Have you gotten quite a bit read?”

  “Not as much as I want, but maybe almost half,” she said, lying.

  “That’s a lot. Do you think you’ll finish tonight?”

  “I doubt it. Probably tomorrow sometime.”

  “I really missed you today,” he said. “I’m getting to the point where I don’t even like to go a few hours without seeing you.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  “I didn’t think it was possible, but I love you more now than I did before.”

  “I love you, too, baby.”

  “I hope you mean that, because this is my last marriage. This time, when I say until death do us part, I’ll mean it literally.”

  “So will I,” she said, swallowing more tears. “This is it for me, too.”

  “Oh, and hey, my mom said she tried to call you earlier. Something about two more of our relatives she wants to add to the guest list. She knows the invitations have gone out, but I told her you wouldn’t mind sending them one.”

  Alicia hadn’t bothered checking her phone for missed calls or messages, and now she wondered who else had called while she was with Levi.

  “Of course. I’ll give her a call later today or tomorrow.”

  “Just think,” he said, genuinely excited. “In two months, we’ll be heading to sunny Jamaica for ten whole days.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m really looking forward to it,” she said, wishing she could find an easy way to end their call. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could go without crying out loud.

  “We’ll be all alone and able to catch up on all the lovemaking we’ve missed. Being celibate hasn’t been easy, but I’m glad we did the right thing.”

  Alicia stopped at a red light and closed her eyes, replaying what she’d just done with Levi. She’d never felt more guilty in her life.

  “Are you there, baby?” he asked.

  “Yeah…um, I was just thinking about my manuscript and all the other stuff I need to get done this week.”

  “I hear you. I have a lot on my plate, too. Are you almost home?”

  “Yes, only a couple of blocks away.”

  “Well, I’ll let you go, then. But call me tonight before you turn in.”

  “I will,” she said.

  “I love you, baby. With all my heart.”

  “I love you, too.”

  When the light turned green, Alicia proceeded through the intersection and sobbed massive tears. She couldn’t change what she’d done, but one thing was for sure. She would never see Levi again, and this time she meant it.

  Chapter 12

  Melanie flipped on the master bedroom television and turned it to one of the news channels. She stretched her arms toward the ceiling and went into the bathroom. She’d drunk a lot of water yesterday, so she’d been going in there a lot. This was a good thing, though, because water always helped flush out toxins and excess fat.

  She removed her pajamas, stepped on the digital scale, and waited for it to register. After only one day of being on her new diet regimen, she’d already lost two pounds. She knew it was water weight, but she was still thrilled about it because it meant she was making progress.

  Melanie slipped on her above-the-knee terry-cloth robe and walked back into the bedroom. Brad had just come back up from running on the treadmill.

  “Good morning,” he said, pulling the towel from around his neck and wiping his face.

  “Good morning. You were up early.”

  “Yep, since five o’clock. After you gave me all that good lovin’ last night, I slept like a baby and now I’m wide awake.”

  Melanie shook her head, laughing. “Whatever.”

  “I’m surprised you’re not downstairs working out yourself.”

  “I think I’ll make some coffee first.”

  “And you’re gonna drink it before you get on the treadmill?”

  “Yeah, I read an article that said drinking coffee enhances your endurance, and it also maximizes your fat- and calorie-burning ability.”

  “I guess. Oh, and hey, when I leave the office this evening, why don’t you meet me for dinner? A new steak restaurant opened a couple of weeks ago, and I heard it’s excellent.”

  “I don’t know, maybe tomorrow.”

  “Well, as much as I hate to tell you this, after today, I’ll be knee-deep in this new case.”

  “Another big one so soon? And does this mean you won’t be home until late every night again?”

  “Baby, I’m sorry, but you know I don’t have a choice.”

  Melanie frowned. “I’m really tired of spending all these nights and weekends alone.”

  “I understand that, but what can I do? Quit?”

  “If that’s what it takes.”

  “Baby, be serious. You know I can’t do that.”

  Melanie moved toward the doorway. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t even have a husband.”

  “So you’re just going to walk out right in the middle of our conversation?”

  “What else is there to say?”

  “Well, for one thing, it won’t always be this way.”

  “It’s already been this way for a while, and if anything it’s getting worse.”

  “I’m sorry, but as a senior-level partner I have certain responsibilities that I have to live up to. You know that.”

&n
bsp; “I’m glad you’ve moved higher at the firm, but it’s not doing much good for either of us if we can’t spend any quality time together.”

  “That’s why I at least want us to go out tonight and have a nice dinner.”

  Melanie wanted more than anything to be with Brad, but she also thought about her pledge to drink a shake for her last meal of the day. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not. I’m trying to cut back as much as I can.”

  “You can order something healthy. Baked fish, veggies. I’m sure they have much more than steaks on the menu.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t want to be tempted by food I don’t need.”

  “You’re not obsessing over your weight again, are you?”

  “No, I just don’t wanna eat badly this week.”

  “Okay, fine. We can just have dinner here. I can pick up something on the way home.”

  Melanie hadn’t planned on telling him yet, but she figured now was as good a time as any. “Until I lose all this weight, all I’m having is a salad for lunch and protein shakes for breakfast and dinner.”

  Brad raised his eyebrows. “Protein shakes? And that’s all?”

  “That’s the plan.”

  “Well, what weight is it that you need to lose exactly?”

  “Brad, please. Don’t pretend you don’t see all these bulges.”

  “I don’t.”

  “You must be blind, then.”

  “Wait a minute. Didn’t you say you had lunch with your mom yesterday? Was she trippin’ about your weight again?”

  “It’s not about her. I decided to make these changes over the weekend.”

  “Have you looked in the mirror lately? Because if you get any smaller, you’ll be skin and bones.”

  “I only have eight more pounds to go.”

  Brad dropped down on the bed. “Baby, why have you always been so unhappy with the way you look? Especially when you look fine. I mean, so what if you have a few bulges. I don’t see any, but if you do, you can fix that with toning.”

  “I have to lose the weight first.”

  “Is that why you still won’t change clothes in front of me? Why we never make love unless the room is dark?”

  Melanie no longer wanted to talk about this. “Let’s just leave well enough alone, okay?”

  “Baby, I’m not trying to upset you, but not wanting to be naked in front of your own husband isn’t normal. Especially when you don’t have a thing to be ashamed of. Plus, I wouldn’t care if you were thirty pounds overweight, I would still love you just the same.”

  “I don’t expect you to understand.”

  “I really don’t.”

  “And you probably never will, but this is something I have to do for me.”

  Brad raised his hands in defeat.

  Melanie turned toward the doorway. “I’m heading downstairs. You want any breakfast?”

  “Thought you were having a shake?”

  “I am, but I can still make you something.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get something on my way to the office.”

  Melanie knew he was angry, but she left the room anyway. There was no sense arguing about something Brad couldn’t comprehend. He’d never had a weight problem and could eat whatever he wanted, so how could he possibly understand how she felt?

  When she walked through the kitchen, she filled the coffeepot with enough water to make six cups and pushed the Start button. She was glad she’d already inserted the paper filter and poured in the coffee grounds the night before.

  She took her multivitamin and then drank her premixed protein shake, which tasted delicious. So far so good. Yesterday, she’d stuck to her plan and she’d lost two pounds, and now she felt energized. She knew that once she finished her workout, she’d feel even better.

  But suddenly, out of nowhere, her mother’s words struck her again and she didn’t feel so great. “You’re looking like a size ten again.” Melanie sat down at the granite island and thought back to her childhood. Her parents had argued all the time, and while she’d hated listening to them, it hadn’t compared to hearing the names her dad used to call her. Miss Tubby, Miss Butterball, and Mellie Melon. He would laugh out loud about it and hadn’t seen a thing wrong with what he was saying, and as Melanie had gotten older, her self-esteem had diminished little by little. Her mother had never thought those nicknames were all that funny, however, and almost daily, she’d been furious with Melanie for being so heavy. So much so, her mother bypassed nicknames altogether and had flat-out told her she was fat. It was a wonder she’d still had enough confidence and courage to get her bachelor’s degree in nursing and then two master’s degrees. First, she’d completed a master’s in nursing, and then she’d gone back to get a second master’s with nurse practitioner specialization. She’d been practicing for two years, and the blessing, too, was that even though she hadn’t had the best childhood, God had given her a wonderful husband and a career she loved.

  Although, she had to admit, she was starting to worry about her marriage. It was bad enough that she and Brad rarely spent any special time together, but she also couldn’t totally get beyond his terrible investment decisions. Or maybe this was all her fault. Maybe he was taking on monstrous cases and spending more and more time away from home because he no longer found her attractive. As recently as Saturday, he’d told her she looked “perfect,” but she knew he’d only done so to make her feel good. Especially since she clearly didn’t look perfect and needed to lose weight. He also still hadn’t lost the desire to make love to her, but what man didn’t want sex? A man certainly didn’t have to love a woman or think she was beautiful in order to feel satisfied.

  Melanie glanced over at the coffee, waiting for it to finish brewing. She tried thinking about the positive things going on in her life, but soon, she heard her mother’s “size ten” words again. She couldn’t stop replaying them, and she also remembered her mother’s warning, something she hadn’t focused on much until now: “…the last thing you need is to go losing him…appearances mean everything…you have a responsibility to keep yourself up.” Her mother’s voice was deafening, and Melanie’s mind was made up. Today, she wouldn’t even have a salad for lunch. She would go straight liquid for the next five days. She’d be down ten pounds—or more—in no time.

  Chapter 13

  It was seven a.m., but Alicia hadn’t slept a wink. She’d cried so much, her eyes were nearly swollen shut. She’d tossed and turned, gotten up and paced the bedroom floor, and tossed and turned in bed again. For the life of her, she still couldn’t understand how she’d let something like this happen. Especially since she knew full well that sleeping with Levi had been the very reason she’d lost Phillip the first time. She wouldn’t lose Phillip again, though. She just wouldn’t. Not when she knew how much he loved her, how much she loved him, and how good he was for her. She’d spent four lengthy years doing everything she could to regain his trust, and finally, last year, he’d proposed. At that moment, he’d made her the happiest woman in the world, and she’d shed tears of joy before God. So there was no way she was going to ruin things between them. She’d made yet another grave mistake, but she was putting it all behind her. She would forget that yesterday ever happened. As it was, Levi had already called her twice last night and once this morning, but she’d ignored him. Interestingly enough, he hadn’t left any voice messages, but she was sure it was because he was dead set on talking to her. When he called again, though, she would answer and explain things to him, letting him know that what they’d done should never have happened. She would tell him how much she loved Phillip and how she was going to marry him two months from now as planned. There was no doubt Levi would try to make his case, attempting to convince her otherwise, but this was the life she was choosing and he would have to accept it.

  After Alicia went into the bathroom and washed her face with cold water, she walked downstairs to the kitchen. She turned on the television, pulled a bottle of sugar-free Cran-Apple juice from
the refrigerator, and dropped down on one of the barstools. Hours had passed, yet she still couldn’t get over the fact that she’d actually slept with Levi. She’d driven to a stranger’s home to see him and slept with him like it was nothing. She’d allowed her flesh to manipulate her common sense, and she was ashamed of herself. Phillip deserved so much better than this, and if he ever found out about it, it would kill him.

  But this, at least, was the one thing she wasn’t worried about, because Levi wasn’t the kind of man who played childish games. He’d reminded her of that when he’d emailed her two days ago. He would never tell Phillip or anyone else about the two of them sleeping together, and Alicia, of course, wouldn’t tell anyone, either.

  Alicia watched a few segments of CNN but found herself feeling more depressed. A few moments ago, she’d even gone as far as deciding that she hadn’t slept with Levi after all and that this whole fiasco was nothing more than some horrible delusion. But she knew she was kidding herself and that not only had she made love with Levi, she’d done so willingly. This was the part that troubled her the most. Had Levi forced her to have sex with him or she’d just so happened to run into him by accident and one thing had led to another, she could place more of the blame on him. But, sadly, this wasn’t the case. Alicia had done exactly what she’d wanted to do and hadn’t done much at all to prevent it.

  When she heard her phone ring, she rushed upstairs. She knew it was Levi, and she couldn’t wait to end whatever he thought they had and be done with him for good. But when she picked up her phone and saw that it was Phillip, her stomach churned. She wasn’t in the best shape to talk to him right now, but since she hadn’t called him before bedtime last night the way he’d asked, she figured she’d better answer.