Degree of Risk

by Lindsay McKenna

  “No…he’s not among them.”

  She handed him back his helmet and he took it, settling it on his head. The night was black and her vision had to adjust once more. Sarah heard Hunter’s deep voice and saw the SEALs beginning to ratchet down. There were five of them far beyond the circle at the end of the tunnel, moving out in the dark to intercept any enemy that might be hiding beyond the cave.

  “There are two helos coming in,” Ethan told her, gripping her arm and guiding her to where the master chief was giving orders. “One is an MH-47 and the other a medevac. You’re going straight to Bagram on the medevac, Sarah. You’ve been shot and that wound has to be looked at.”

  More and more tiredness swamped her. Every bone in her body hurt. When she’d thrown Khogani over her, she’d felt a burning, ripping pain low in her abdomen. “I’m not going to argue. It sounds good to me.”

  Master Chief Hunter spotted Sarah and moved over to her, looking her up and down. She held an AK-47 in her right hand. “Looks like you had your own party in there, Sarah.”

  She managed a wobbling smile. “I had to try to escape. You know how it is.”

  “Yeah, we heard AK-47 gunfire seconds before we threw the flashbangs inside the cave.”

  “That was me,” she said, sliding her hand into Ethan’s. Sarah wanted contact with him. He was life. Her life. And she felt close to tears now, wanting to be held. She needed his tender smile, his touch to heal the fractures this past week had driven into her soul.

  “Medevac just landed.” Hunter looked at them. “You’re going to Bagram hospital, Sarah. I want Ethan to go with you.” He smiled a little. “Hawk, give me a report? Let me know how she’s doing?”

  “I will, Master Chief. Thank you.”

  Sarah reached out and gripped Hunter’s rough, large hand. “Thank you,” she whispered, choking up, “for coming and getting me. I knew you’d come. I knew it.”

  Hunter squeezed her hand. “You’re one of our own, Sarah. We have your back. Now, get on that medevac. You look pale.”

  Sarah nodded. Ethan had NVGs and could see where they were going. He put his arm around her waist, but couldn’t draw her close to him because of the H-gear he wore around his torso. But it was enough. Sarah wearily leaned against him.

  She didn’t know who was piloting the medevac as they climbed on board. A smile blossomed on her face as she saw Pascal. He stood just outside the helo. The blades were turning, gusting wind slapping against her as Ethan helped her up the slight incline.

  “Pascal!” she yelled. He wore NVGs and grinned as he held out his hand toward her.

  “Get in here, Chief Benson. Damned good to see you ambulatory.”

  As she grabbed her medic’s hand and pushed off with her good foot, a ripping pain in her abdomen doubled Sarah over. Pascal caught her before she nose-dived onto the deck of the helo.

  Alarmed that she’d practically fallen into the medic’s arms, Ethan quickly leaped in to help Sarah on board. The crew chief slid the door closed. It was black inside without the use of NVGs.

  Pascal put a helmet on Sarah’s head and then got her to lie down on the litter strapped to the bulkhead. He plugged in her ICS connection.

  “Can you hear me, Sarah?” he asked.

  Grimacing, Sarah was without NVGs, the cabin so dark she couldn’t see anything. The other medic, Evans, knelt down, awaiting Pascal’s direction.

  “Yeah. Damn. I think I tore a muscle or something in my abdomen.” She lifted her knees up toward her body because it didn’t feel comfortable with her legs straight out.

  The Black Hawk spooled up, the twin engines roaring, the shuddering increasing. Sarah sighed and laid her head back on a pillow that Pascal had provided. Ethan was somewhere, but she couldn’t see him. The helo broke earth, gravity pushing down on her.

  “Let me examine you,” Pascal said. “You know how it goes,” he added, amusement in his voice. “Now, instead of being up in the cockpit, you’re going to see what we do back here.”

  “Go ahead,” she grunted, “I’m all yours, Pascal.” She closed her eyes, her hands across her abdomen, the burning sensation lessening. Pascal squeezed, touched and moved every joint. Sarah had never been on the receiving end of his care and he was gentle, his voice always soothing.

  “Gotta move your hands off your belly, Chief Benson.”

  “Okay,” she whispered, exhausted. When he placed his fingers gently across her abdomen, she cried out. “Damn, Pascal, that hurt!”

  “What’s going on down there?” he asked, his hand on her shoulder, guiding Sarah back down on the litter.

  “I probably tore a muscle when Khogani charged me. He grabbed me by the throat and I punched him in the nose.” She smiled in triumph. “Broke it, too.”

  “That didn’t cause this pain,” Pascal murmured, gently palpating the area again.

  “No, but when he let go of my throat and went for his broken nose, I twisted my hips up and used my feet and legs to throw him off me. That’s when I felt something tear. I didn’t pay much attention to it at the time because I was in the middle of a fight for my life.”

  Pascal patted her shoulder. “You’re lucky to be alive,” he murmured. “I need to reexamine that area. I’ll be very gentle. You tell me where it hurts?”

  Groaning, Sarah muttered, “Don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know.”

  Pascal chuckled.

  Ethan watched silently, his M4 safed and in his left hand. He stood at the end of Sarah’s litter. He was listening to Pascal and her weary replies. Worried, Ethan saw Sarah grimace, her knees reflexing upward as Pascal examined her lower abdomen once again. And then, she’d relaxed as he moved to another part of her abdomen. She would lift her leg on his command, and then lower it. Pascal was looking for something, but he didn’t know what. His blood chilled to hear what Sarah had done. What Khogani had done to her.

  Pascal placed his hand on her shoulder. “Sarah,” he said, “are you getting any vaginal discharge since this happened earlier tonight? Any blood?”

  Her eyes widened. “What?” What the hell kind of question was that? She heard concern in his tone. “No. Why?”

  “I think you’re pregnant, Sarah.”

  Gasping, her mouth dropped open. “No way!”

  Pascal patted her shoulder. “Now, just lay here. Have you been feeling weepy and more emotional in say, the past three months?”

  Her mind hit a brick wall. Stunned, Sarah couldn’t think for a moment. Pregnant? Her? How? “Uh…yes, crying more than usual.” But she’d thought that was because she felt safe with Ethan. That he gave her a safe place where she could let her guard down and let go. He would be there to hold her, shelter her through her stormy weeping sessions.

  “Okay, what about nausea? Vomiting?”

  She closed her eyes. “Oh, God…”

  Ethan stirred, moving around Pascal and standing near Sarah’s shoulder.

  “She’s been throwing up from time to time,” he told Pascal. “No food poisoning. Things haven’t been sitting well for her.” His heart squeezed in his chest. Sarah’s pregnant! Ethan thought she had protection. At least, that’s what she’d told him.

  Pascal murmured, “Listen, Sarah, your pain is on the right side of your uterus. Your abdomen is appearing swollen. You haven’t taken any blunt force trauma to that area to make it swell. There could be other explanations, but the only one that comes to mind is first trimester of pregnancy.”

  “But…but…” Sarah lay there, arm over her eyes, the explosive surprise rippling through her. “I’m on the pill, Pascal.”

  “Listen,” he said soothingly, “women on birth control pills in this kind of threatening combat environment can sometimes just throw off their entire hormonal cycles. Adrenaline and high cortisol spikes can do it. And in our business of medevac, you know how often that occurs. All the time….”

  Sarah dragged in a ragged breath, feeling Ethan’s hand on her shoulder. His fingers smoothed out the wrinkles in her unifo
rm. His touch calmed her. “Are you sure?” she asked, her voice filled with disbelief.

  “Have you had a menstrual period in the past two or three months?”

  “No,” she whispered. “But I thought it was from stress. The combat. Sometimes in the past, I’d stop having periods for three or four months at a time, Pascal. And then they’d start up again.” Ethan’s fingers grazed her brow. His touch stopped her cartwheeling mind. Her whole world had just detonated on her.

  “Given all these indicators,” Pascal told her gently, “when we get to Bagram, I’m going to order a pregnancy test for you, Sarah. The pain you’re feeling may be a partial tear of the placenta. It may have been torn away from your uterine wall when you lifted a pretty heavy guy up and over your head. There was probably a lot of twisting to your effort. That’s enough to create a tear.”

  “What does that mean?” Sarah asked, her voice suddenly fearful. Automatically, she placed her hand protectively over her belly.

  “Something you are going to throw a shoe over.” Pascal chuckled, smiling gently down at her. “I’m going to ask for an ob-gyn doctor at Bagram to examine you. If she finds what I think I’ve found, you’re headed to a bed instead of a helicopter. You’ll need some enforced rest to let that tear heal. You’re not going to lose your baby.”

  Chapter 13

  Sarah blinked, shielding her eyes as her gurney was wheeled into the E.R. at Bagram air base. Ethan walked at her shoulder and it gave her some calm as, inwardly, she was slowly falling apart. Her hand was guarding her belly.

  Pascal walked at her other shoulder. He smiled warmly down at her, his hand comforting on her shoulder. Sarah was grateful that the medevac pilots were going to let him stay to speak with the physicians first before taking off for Camp Bravo.

  Pascal knew the system at the E.R. and once inside the doors, a nurse met them, giving them a numbered cubical to wheel her into for examination. Pascal peeled off in search of the ob-gyn physician.

  The nurse’s eyes got big as the orderlies moved Sarah into the cubical. She stared across it at Ethan.

  “I’m sorry,” she said firmly, “but you cannot be in here.”

  Ethan was in full gear, his weapons showing he was a SEAL. Sarah saw him give the nurse a cool look as he came to her left side, his hand moving to her shoulder.

  “I’m family,” he stated, daring her to dispute it.

  The nurse grimaced, said nothing and quickly went about her business.

  Pascal came in grinning. “Sarah, this is Dr. Maria Chavez, best ob-gyn here at Bagram.”

  A black-haired, brown-eyed woman, very short, maybe five foot one, with a radiant smile on her face, entered the cubical.

  Pascal came over and moved the gurney up into Fowler’s position, giving Sarah the ability to sit up in a comfortable position instead of being flat on her back. Pascal gave Dr. Chavez the symptoms. Once he did, he came around, pressed a quick kiss to Sarah’s cheek and said, “Gotta go. Let me know the good news once Dr. Chavez has examined you.”

  Sarah reached out, squeezing the medic’s hand. “I will. Thanks for everything, Pascal.”

  He gave her a genial smile and lifted his hand in farewell to Ethan and quickly left the cubical, heading outside to the awaiting medevac.

  “So,” Dr. Chavez murmured, touching Sarah’s hand, “you might be pregnant?”

  Sarah muttered, “I guess I’m the last to know.” She shared an ironic glance with Ethan.

  “And this is the father?” Dr. Chavez indicated Ethan.

  “It is,” Ethan said.

  Dr. Chavez looked up at the monitors the nurse had put online and attached to Sarah’s arm. “Well, your blood pressure is high.”

  “She just came out of a hell of a firefight,” Ethan growled.

  Sarah gave Ethan a pleading look. He was being a bristly guard dog, ready to snap and snarl at anyone. He was coming down off an adrenaline high from the firefight, as well.

  “Hmm,” Dr. Chavez murmured. “We’ll run blood and urine tests on you, Chief Benson, to determine your pregnancy. If it shows you are, you’ll be coming to my office and I’ll perform an examination where it’s quieter and less stressful on you. Okay?”

  Nodding, Sarah said, “Fine. Thank you.” She could use a whole lot less stress.

  Another woman entered the room. “This is Dr. Linda Sontag. She’s your admission physician. She’ll take care of you first and then I’ll more than likely see you later.” Dr. Chavez patted her hand and left.

  Sarah was so glad to be surrounded by women. They did not threaten her. Ethan remained near her head, his hand never leaving her shoulder, a clear signal to all around her that he was hers.

  Sarah felt exhausted, but relieved. She was alive. She had survived when she never thought she would. Most of all, Sarah was thankful that little Jamaal would be taken home to his parents by Reza. That had a happy ending, too.

  Sarah had to climb out of her flight suit and into a blue, knee-length gown. Ethan had helped her, much to the chagrin of the nurse who was assigned to do it. He shooed her out of the curtained cubical. His mouth thinned as she sat on the gurney in her bra and panties.

  “You’re so damned bruised up,” he muttered, picking up the gown. He couldn’t believe the deep bruises on her hips and legs. The purple fingerprints from Khogani grabbing her throat were now vivid and Ethan felt a murderous rage flow through him. As he eased the gown over Sarah’s arms and tied the three ties in the back for her, his heart clenched. She not only had the crash and the firefight to contend with, she had an unexpected pregnancy on top of it all. He couldn’t say he was unhappy about it, though.

  “Hey,” Sarah joked, turning around and sitting on the gurney, smoothing the blue gown around her knees, “I was on the run for days. I took a few falls.” She tried to smile, but it didn’t work.

  Ethan leaned over, kissing Sarah’s lips gently. He moved his hand through her hair. “It’s okay, angel, bruises go away. And you’re safe. That’s all I care about.”

  Her lips tingled as he eased away. Ethan’s gray eyes were turbulent-looking and she could feel the coiled tension within him. “I didn’t think I’d make it out alive, Ethan,” she whispered, feeling tears prick the back of her eyes.

  Gripping her hand, he rasped, “I know. But you did.” He eyed her proudly. “You’re a fierce mama bear.” He went over and pulled the curtain aside, giving the doctor and nurse permission to enter.

  Sarah lay there letting them poke and prod her. They took a blood sample and the doctor removed the dressing Dr. Anas had placed around her wound. It was cleaned and a new bandage applied. Dr. Sontag didn’t think surgery was needed based upon the fact she could move her toes, there was no numbness in her limb and she was walking on it. She examined the bruises, noted them, asked how she got them. Everything was recorded and Sarah felt more and more tired as the hour wore on. She just wanted this over with and to get to a quiet room and sleep.

  Ethan would be with her. Right now his quiet, intense presence was feeding her, helping her to control the violent emotions wanting release. Between Khogani almost killing her and the fact she was pregnant, her mind roiled. Sarah never questioned Pascal’s diagnosis. If he said she was, then she was. Sarah didn’t need blood or urine tests to prove it. He was the finest combat medic she’d ever flown with. And now that would be over, too. Medevac would never allow a pregnant woman pilot to fly in a combat zone.

  There was so much going on, Sarah felt as if she was falling off a cliff and she didn’t know where she was going to land. Only Ethan’s hand on her shoulder, gave her stability. He loved her. And no matter what happened in her life from this moment on, she had him. And that’s all that really mattered to Sarah. Ethan had come for her. He had helped save her life.

  *

  “Congratulations,” Dr. Chavez said brightly to Sarah. “You’re going to be a mom.”

  Sarah sat on the gurney with Ethan nearby, a serious frown on his face. The doctor had just examined her
and gone through the blood and urine test results.

  “How far along am I?” A pure streak of joy tunneled through Sarah. She was going to have a child! More important, that child would have a loving set of parents. Their child would be raised in a safe, loving environment, unlike her own.

  Dr. Chavez smiled. “I would say three months. Now, you do have a small tear where your placenta tore away from the wall of your uterus. But I think after seven days’ bed rest, you can get back on your feet.”

  “I probably did that when I threw Khogani off me,” she muttered.

  The doctor nodded. “Probably. But it’s not a critical issue and that means you can get up, go to the bathroom and take a shower on your own. But it also means you can sit a lot or lay in a bed a lot. You cannot do any lifting or any physical exercise.” And then Maria glanced over at Ethan. “No sex, either.”

  Sarah nodded. She’d figured that much out. “No sex for how long?”

  “Give it ten days, all right?” And she tapped Sarah’s hand. “Easy does it for the next month, all right?”

  “I think we can manage that,” Sarah said, glancing at Ethan. He was sitting like a stone Buddha, his game face on. But then warmth seeped into his expression and she felt invisibly wrapped in his love.

  “Okay, here’s what I’m going to do for you,” Dr. Chavez said, looking at both of them. “I want you to spend the next two days here in the hospital under observation. That leg wound needs some ongoing attention. After two days, I’m transferring you to the women’s BOQ where you can just rest and sit around being bored out of your skull. At the end of these seven days of incarceration, I’ll release you back to your squadron at Camp Bravo. I’m signing no-fly orders for you. You’re pregnant and that means you’re out of the combat zone. Your CO will take things from there. More than likely, you’ll have another week at Bravo and then get rotated stateside for the duration of your pregnancy.”

  Sarah nodded. “I figured that out.”

  Ethan stood up and walked over to Sarah’s gurney. He pinned the doctor with his gaze. “I want a couple of things from you, Doctor. I want a private room for Sarah. And I want privacy. That means no nurse dipping into her room every four or six hours. She’s been through a hell of a firefight and could have lost her life. She needs uninterrupted sleep.”