Degree of Risk

by Lindsay McKenna

  Dr. Chavez nodded. “I’m ahead of you on that one, Petty Officer Quinn.” She looked at Sarah. “I’ve already gotten you a maternity room up on my floor of the hospital. All your fiancé here has to do is tell the head nurse at the nursing station you are not to be disturbed. She’ll take care of the rest.” Her eyes sparkled as she turned to him. “There’s a nice chair you can sleep in and stay with her in that room.”

  “Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate it.” His voice dropped, brooking no argument. “But unless you tell me different, I’m sleeping with Sarah in her bed.” She needed to be held and Ethan knew it. He wasn’t going to let her out of his embrace. He could tell she was starting to come apart emotionally.

  The doctor shrugged. “I don’t have a problem with it. Tight quarters, but you wouldn’t be the first.”

  “Good,” Ethan said. “I’ll make sure the head nurse understands the situation, too.”

  Dr. Chavez laughed and stood up, putting a pen back into her white lab coat pocket. “SEALs are well-known around here, Petty Officer. I don’t think anyone is going to contest what you want for Sarah.”

  *

  Sarah sighed as the nurse left their room. It was a spacious, bright, pale yellow with a large window at one end, covered with venetian blinds, but also ruffled white curtains. It almost looked like a home, not a hospital room.

  She watched as Ethan set his safed rifle in the corner. She sat on the bed, absorbing the sudden quiet. “I feel so grungy,” she muttered

  Ethan got out of his H-gear, took off his pistol and drop holster and stripped down to his black bodysuit. “Makes two of us.” He walked over to her, measuring the look in her eyes. There was a haunted expression in them, desperation maybe. Ethan had seen this before. Sarah was so close to crying.

  “Come here,” he urged, taking her hands and gently moving her so that her legs hung over the side of the bed. “Feel like taking a shower with me?”

  Looking up into his hard face, those gray eyes warm with love for her, Sarah sighed. “In a heartbeat, Quinn. I need to get clean.” She shivered. “I just want—I need to get the smell of Khogani off me. I can smell him.” She wrapped her arms around herself, closing her eyes and shuddering.

  Ethan moved his fingers through her hair, kissing her brow. “Come on…”

  Sarah slid off the bed. Her leg was sore but had a new, waterproof bandage on it so she could shower. Ethan led her to the other end of the room where there was a bathroom. It was amazingly large. He guided her to a small, cushioned chair and went to the large shower and turned on the faucet. Just the sound of running water took a tiny edge off the building tension within her.

  Sarah watched as Ethan removed his uniform, naked in record time. His body was lean, powerful and there was no question he wanted her. He walked over and took her hand.

  “Your turn.” He untied the back of the gown. After removing it, he took off her bra. Her panties were already gone because the doctor had examined her earlier. He bit back a groan as she turned around and he saw how many bruises littered her body. Sarah didn’t need his rage or his horror over her journey to get back to him. Leading her into the stall, he kept his hand around her elbow, not wanting her to slip. There was a nice bench on one side, so he had her sit down, the water falling around her.

  Closing the door, Ethan picked up the washcloth and soap. “Want to sit there for a minute while I get clean?”

  Sarah sat back, feeling the clean water touch her hair and body. “Mmm, yes. This feels wonderful.” She wanted to enjoy Ethan washing himself, watching the movement of his muscles, the powerful expanse of his chest and his sculpted, broad shoulders. “Once I get done,” he promised her in a gritty tone, “I’m washing you.”

  Sarah slid her trembling fingers through her wet hair. “I’m so ready for it,” she whispered, holding his burning gaze. She wanted to be held by Ethan. Wanted to affirm life over death. Sarah knew she was in shock, her emotions crazy, her desire to cry so powerful right now.

  It didn’t take Ethan long to clean off the sweat and dirt of the mission. He’d scrubbed his short hair and beard, his gaze never leaving hers. Once free of soap, he held out his hand toward her. “Your turn,” he said, his voice a low growl.

  The tension bled out of her as she took his hand and was pulled to her feet. He positioned her beneath the spray of water.

  “Hold on to my waist,” he told her, kissing her lips. “I don’t want you to fall.”

  Sarah nodded, her hands sliding around his narrow waist. The warm water felt heavenly and when he began to wash her hair with the almond-scented shampoo, his long fingers massaging her scalp, she moaned.

  “Feel good?”

  His gritty voice filled her. “Yes…wonderful, Ethan…don’t…stop….”

  Ethan wanted to love Sarah with his hands. He couldn’t make love to her right now, but he could damn well use his touch, his tenderness, to not only wash away the stench of Khogani, but dissolve the terror of her journey to escape and survive.

  She was tired as evidenced by the purple shadows beneath her glorious blue eyes, so he didn’t take as long as he wanted. Maybe another time when she was rested, stronger, more centered. He could tell by looking in her eyes she was completely overwhelmed. The shock was setting in big-time and she was exhausted to her soul.

  Sarah had survived so much in such a short and intense period of time. Ethan wondered where she’d gotten such strength, such backbone. As he gently directed the water across her shoulders, Ethan knew where it had come from. It had come from her past. Sarah had learned a terrible lesson in survival at such a young, fragile age. Few people could have lived through that nightmarish hell and turned out as well as she had. Sarah had taken that gut survival she’d created in childhood and made it work for her this time. And now she’d survived…once again.

  “Okay,” he murmured, moving strands of black hair away from her flushed cheeks, “you’re squeaky clean.” He sat Sarah down and then turned off the shower. Grabbing two white bath towels, he brought one across her shoulders, tucking it around her. Then he quickly dried himself off and tucked the towel low around his hips.

  He led her out of the shower and sat her on the chair, drying her hair and working the soft towel all the way down her body. Where there were bruises, he gently patted the area dry. Ethan wanted to kiss every one of them, kiss away her pain, her memories of that horrific escape.

  When he was done, he wrapped the towel beneath her armpits and tucked it in between her breasts. “Off to bed with you,” he said gruffly, picking her up in his arms.

  “Ethan!” she protested, sliding her hands around his shoulder. “I can walk.”

  He leaned over and opened the bathroom door. “I know you can.” He gave Sarah a tender look. “But you’re carrying our baby and you’re tired. Let me do the heavy lifting.” Ethan nudged the door open and carried her to the bed.

  Our baby. The words had special warmth to Sarah. She closed her eyes and rested her head wearily against his shoulder, surrendering to him. “Thank you.”

  Ethan heard her slurring the words. No one understood shock and trauma better than a SEAL. They went through it all the time. They understood what it did to their bodies, to their emotions and to their souls. Gently, he placed her on the bed and removed the towel and helped Sarah lie down. With the light out, the room grew dark. The blinds at the window had a little light peeking around the corners, just enough for him to see where he was going. Sliding into bed with her, Ethan drew the sheet and the light blanket over them. Sarah’s eyes were nearly closed. Her body was soft and rounded. Her breasts full. His gaze moved to her belly. Ethan could swear that it was more softly rounded than before. Sarah was carrying his child, their baby. A powerful ribbon of joy surged through Ethan as he slid his arm beneath her neck, eased her against him.

  Sarah sighed, feeling the hard warmth of Ethan’s body protectively surrounding hers. He slid his other arm across her, his hand against the small of her back.


  “Go to sleep, angel,” he rasped against her delicate ear. “You need to sleep for two now.”

  She felt herself finally beginning to relax, the last of the tension, the stress, dissolving beneath his hand as he gently skimmed her shoulders. His soft kisses against her hair, her temple and cheek lulled her. “Ethan,” she murmured drowsily, “are you okay with me being pregnant?” That worried her the most.

  He squeezed her, kissing her cheek. “Sarah, I love you. And it was meant to be.” Ethan lifted his head away just enough to meet her worried blue gaze. “I’m fine with it. I just want you to be, too.”

  Relief showered through her like sweet, warm rain. Drowning in his dark gray eyes, she whispered, “I want our baby, Ethan. I’m not afraid anymore…. I know I can be a good mom.”

  Tucking her head beneath his jaw, Ethan closed his eyes. “This little tyke you’re carrying is going to be the most loved kid in the world,” he promised, his voice gritty with emotion. Ethan felt Sarah smile. Felt a softened sigh whisper from her lips, her moist breath flowing across his chest. And he felt her relax utterly into his arms. Sarah was finally safe. She was going to live. He lay there, holding her fiercely with all the love he had for her. And as he closed his eyes, tears wound their way down his cheeks. Sarah had a warrior’s soul and that is what had seen her through this hell and back into his arms. Back into his heart.

  Chapter 14

  Sarah slowly awoke. She lay there, missing Ethan. He was gone. Frowning, she rolled over, noticing sunlight bright around the window. A clock read 0900. Rubbing her face, her mind sluggish, she sat up, the covers pooling around her waist. It was then she noticed a pair of jeans, a red short-sleeved T-shirt, socks and a pair of women’s shoes on the chair next to the bed.

  Slowly moving, feeling even more stiff than before, Sarah hung her legs over the bed. It was then that she saw a note on the bedside table. Leaning over, she picked it up. Unfolding it, she found a beautiful calligraphy script that read “I’ve got a lot of chores to run this morning. Earlier Emma brought over clothes and shoes that might fit you. Hope to be back by 1000. Love, Ethan.”

  Her whole body glowed over his words. Trying to shake off the deep sleep, Sarah ran her hand gently across her belly. There was a baby inside her. Ethan’s child. My child. Created out of pure love. Sarah sat there feeling the raw, nurturing emotions slowly thread through her. Closing her eyes, she felt tears burning in them. Nagging worries about her baby haunted her. No one knew all she’d gone through to escape the Taliban. Was her baby really all right?

  Ethan knocked lightly on the door and Sarah replied. He came in to find her in the chair, a tray with food across her lap. “Hey, how are you doing?” he asked.

  Sarah looked up. Ethan was dressed in SEAL cammies. In his hand was a bouquet of red roses. He looked good this morning. Happy. His eyes burning with love for her.

  “Hey, you, I’m fine.” She smiled. “Flowers?”

  Ethan walked over, leaned down and kissed her smiling lips. “Celebrating many things today,” he promised her gruffly, giving them to her.

  “Mmm, they smell wonderful. Thank you.” And then Sarah shook her head. “Roses. Here? In Afghanistan?”

  Ethan pulled over another chair, sitting near enough to steal some bacon off her tray. “Captain Khalid Shaheen. When I called them early this morning to tell them what had happened, Emma went out and cut them for you.”

  Sarah’s face went soft, her blue eyes much clearer this morning. “Emma loaned you some of her clothes. She thinks you two are within half a shoe size of one another.” He took a second strip of bacon.

  “That’s so sweet of them,” Sarah murmured. She remembered the gorgeous roses in their garden. Ethan was gobbling up her toast. “Are you hungry?”

  “Yeah, a little.” He grinned apologetically. “Have you eaten yet?”

  “Not much. I know you’re a growing boy, but I’m trying to eat for two now.” Sarah picked up the last strip of bacon.

  He gave her a sheepish look. “Okay, okay. I can’t steal food from the mother of my child. Got it.” He rose and said, “Anything you want from the cafeteria?”

  “I’m craving bacon. The more the better.”

  “You lost a lot of salt during those days on the run,” he said with a nod. “I’ll be right back. We’ll eat breakfast together.” He flashed her a boyish smile, slipping out the door.

  Sarah shook her head. One moment, Ethan was a formidable warrior, the next an excited little boy. She smiled and slathered grape jelly on her toast.

  A knock came at the door a few minutes later.

  “Come in,” Sarah called.

  Master Chief Gil Hunter entered. He smiled over at Sarah. “I guess you’re doing pretty well?” He shut the door.

  Stunned to see him, Sarah said, “I’m working at it.” What was he doing here? Hunter was dressed in his usual outfit. He took off his black baseball cap and gestured to the chair.

  “Mind if I sit down and visit for a moment?”

  “Sure. Did you see Ethan? He was going down to the cafeteria.”

  Hunter nodded. “Met him at the elevators. I asked him to bring me up a breakfast tray.” He gave her an amused look. “Do you mind having me over for breakfast?”

  Sarah flushed, seeing the kindness in his eyes. “Of course not. How is everyone? Did your guys get any injuries or wounds?”

  He shook his head, tossing his hat on the bed. “Not a scratch.” He folded his hands and looked at her. “Ethan told me you’re pregnant?”

  Sarah nodded, seeing no judgment in his eyes. “Yes,” she said softly. “A huge surprise to both of us.”

  His mouth quirked a little. “I would imagine. It was a shock to me, too.”

  “It wasn’t planned, believe me.”

  “No,” Hunter said, “but probably for the best. You’re not exactly a conservative medevac pilot,” he pointed out drily. “You fly in where angels fear to tread, Sarah.”

  She snorted. “Master Chief, I’ve been flying for nine years. You SEALs just aren’t used to it, is all. I know what I’m doing.”

  “No question there,” he said, grinning. “But I think Ethan is stripping gears over it. He’s having a hard time holding his focus and that could get him in trouble. You’ll be going stateside shortly and I think with you out of danger, he’ll settle down and won’t be distracted.”

  She saw the wisdom in his tough-looking face. “You have three children, don’t you?”

  “Three daughters. Love every one to pieces, too. I love my wife especially because she’s been the chief parent raising them. I am gone a lot. She’s a strong lady.”

  “Love is the only glue that could hold that kind of marriage together,” Sarah murmured.

  “That’s true. And—” he smiled a little “—I think you and Ethan have shared that kind of love between you.”

  A deep warmth flowed through Sarah. “We do,” she said, her voice suddenly emotional. “When I survived that crash, all I kept picturing was Ethan’s face. I was so worried no one would know I survived. I thought the Army might write me off. I was praying the SEALs wouldn’t.” She sniffed and wiped tears from her eyes. “And you didn’t. I owe you and my baby’s life to all of you.”

  “Ethan kept insisting you were alive even after he saw the crash and explosion,” Hunter said grimly.

  “You believed him.”

  “Yes, I did. Some people—couples—have this invisible bond between them. Ethan came back to Bravo raising hell in the platoon, insisting we get out there to find proof that you had survived it.”

  More tears fell. Sarah gave him a sheepish look. “Sorry, I’m so darned emotional these days….” And scared. Scared that something would happen to her baby. Maybe she couldn’t carry it to full term because of her own trauma during the crash? All terrible thoughts, and Sarah didn’t want to give them voice.

  “My wife, Sophie, when she was pregnant always carried around a box of tissues wherever she went.” He grinned.
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br />   “Good to know,” Sarah muttered, grabbing a tissue from the bedside table. “I never cry. This is so weird for me.”

  “Tears are always good, Sarah. They wash the soul clean,” the master chief assured her gently.

  The door opened. Ethan entered with three trays balanced in his hands.

  Sarah smiled as he set them on the bed. “Three trays?”

  Ethan grinned and nodded to the master chief. “Yeah, I kinda stole a lot off your tray from your and our baby’s mouths earlier. I thought you deserved a new tray of food.” He handed it to Sarah and took the other and set it on the bed. After giving one tray filled with breakfast food to the master chief, Ethan sat on the bed, his long legs dangling over it, and dug into his mountain of scrambled eggs.

  Hunter ate slowly. Ethan was wolfing the food down. Sarah was daintily picking at things that appealed to her.

  “I’ve got some news to share with you,” Hunter said after they finished eating. Gil placed his tray to his left and stacked the other trays on top of it. Turning, he said, “Khogani escaped.”

  “No!” Sarah sat up, her hands curling into fists. “How?” she demanded, her voice wobbling. “How?”

  Ethan slid off the bed and went over and sat on the arm of the chair, placing his hand on her tense shoulder.

  “After you left by medevac, I had my men go through the cave system again. Dusty found a secret door in the cell room. He opened it and followed it out to a tunnel. It came out about one-tenth of a mile away. He alerted us by radio, and I told him to track Khogani and he did. Khogani must have had a horse stashed in a cave across a wash because Dusty lost his trail. All he found at that point was hoof prints of one horse. We figured Khogani mounted up and took off into the night. At that point, I called Dusty back.”