Refresh

by S. Moose

  “I’m home and I brought someone.”

  “Oh yeah?” He walks out of the kitchen and stops dead in his tracks when he sees Alisha. “What the fuck?”

  “Hey, Mason.”

  “Hey, Mason.”

  My worst nightmare is coming true. Everything Heather told me is true and here she is standing in front of us. The secret I’ve been holding to keep her safe is falling apart. Alisha isn’t supposed to be here. She’s not supposed to know Caroline or know anything about her. I made sure of it.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Amber? Is that why you’ve ignored me?” I growl. “You had the nerve to come here and then move?”

  She walks closer to me and my eyes dart to Caroline who is standing there with anger shooting from hers and her hands are crossed tightly over her chest. Fuck.

  “I told her the truth. Don’t call me Amber anymore. I needed to see you. Please let me explain.”

  “Fuck, I can’t. Alisha, you fucking know better. We had a deal. You knew what you had to do and you knew what was at risk if you didn’t follow the rules. No wonder Devin’s been fucking losing his mind.”

  “Devin,” she huffs and turns around. I see how rigid and shaky her body is. “Devin’s a piece of shit.”

  “A deal? Devin?” Caroline screeches. “What deal, Mason? Can someone fucking tell me what’s going on? Why is Devin involved? What the hell is going on?”

  “Caroline, please,” I beg her. “Give me a moment and I’ll explain everything.” I turn back to Alisha, “Why are you here?”

  “I needed to bring Lila here. I need her to be safe. There’s a lot going on right now, Mason. No one is safe anymore.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “They know I’m still alive, Mason. I thought I was safe. I made up a story and thought everything would work out. I thought everything would be okay. I messed up all right?” She cries and hugs her body. “I messed up and now I need to make it right. Don’t you get it?”

  “How? All the papers were forged and we did everything right to get you into protection, Alisha.”

  “Money talks,” she whispers and looks away. “I need you to promise me if anything happens you’ll look after her,” she cries. “Please Mason. She doesn’t have anyone and I can’t keep her safe anymore.”

  “Alisha give me a minute.”

  Turning around, my back’s facing Caroline and Alisha because I can’t face either of them. When your whole world comes crashing down, everyone you wanted to keep safe is now in danger, and people you never wanted to see again show up without a warning.

  “Please Mason.”

  Before I can say anything shots are fired and bullets come flying. “Get down,” I shout and dive for Caroline to protect her.

  “Mason,” she screams. “What’s going on? Mason!”

  I take her face into my hands and kiss her. “Stay down, baby.”

  “Mason?” Her voice shakes and I kiss her again before grabbing my gun and rushing outside to see if I can get any visuals. The car gets away before I can shoot or get the license plate number. Standing in the middle of the street I look around again and try to find something I need to get those mother fuckers.

  “Fuck!” I yell and call for back up.

  “Mason!” I hear Caroline scream and rush inside to find Alisha in a pool of blood. “Is she?”

  Bending down on my knee I try to find a pulse and get nothing. “Fuck,” I mutter and grab her purse to look for anything to help me with the case I’m trying to solve. Inside there’s an envelope and I quickly put it in my jeans when I hear sirens. “Baby.” I take Caroline and carry her to the barstool. “Stay here, okay?” She frantically nods and I make my way outside to deal with the shitstorm brewing.

  Squad cars and an ambulance surround the house as I keep Caroline in my view to make sure she’s not going to up and run away. I tell the other officers what I witnessed and text Clarke to let him know what’s going on. Everyone’s doing their investigation and my mind can’t be clear. All I’m thinking about is Caroline and keeping her safe. Doing everything I can to assist I finally get the okay to leave. Before doing so I head upstairs and grab anything she might need. There’s no way she’s coming back to this house, not after finding out about Evan and Alisha’s death.

  Getting everything I need I quickly head downstairs and let the officers know if they need to question Caroline to let me know.

  When I stand before her she’s shaking and her head’s down. The EMTs check her out and everything’s fine. Since Caroline saw everything I did there was no reason to keep her for long or bring her to the hospital. “I need to get some stuff done. Can I take you to Tonya’s?”

  “Yeah. That’s fine. Are those my things?” She points to the duffle bag I have in my hand. “So that’s it then? I can’t come back to my house.”

  “It’ll be taped off for a while. We can get everything you need just let me know. I grabbed some outfits and things you’ll need. Do you want to go upstairs and grab anything else?” Caroline shakes her head and puts her hand in mine. When I get her in the car and get in the driver side I look over and her eyes are closed. Fuck I don’t know what’s going through her head.

  Walking into the station after dropping off a pissed off and scared Caroline with Tonya I’m ready to punch a wall and knock out some people.

  “Does anyone want to fucking tell me what’s going on?”

  Devin looks up and shakes his head. “I told you she was here! Now she’s dead and the gang’s making moves.”

  “What was the point in keeping her away?”

  “She never informed them she felt she was caught. There are no updates so how the fuck are we supposed to know what’s going on. Not much we can do on our end and the PD in California is swamped. If Alisha can’t listen to simple instructions there’s not much we can do. I asked for your help and now we’re fucked.”

  I slam my fists on my desk and slump down in my chair. “This is bullshit. She’s dead and there aren’t any clues. What’s Mike saying?”

  “Nothing, man,” Devin responds and Scott walks in.

  “Don’t do that,” he barks.

  “Not now, Scott,” Devin yells back.

  “Okay ladies what the fuck is going on and someone better talk.” I look at both of them and no one says anything. “Seriously come on. We all talked about this and we worked our asses off. What the fuck is going on between the two of you?”

  “Nothing, Ryan. Scott’s fucking lost his mind. Too much drinking, huh? You drunk right now, buddy?” Devin snarls and Scott gets in his face.

  “I know what you did, you fucker. I know!” he screams and heads outside. I look at Devin and we follow him out, but it’s too late.

  “Drop the knife!” I hear Devin scream and look to see someone in a mask stab Scott and run off. Without thinking, I chase him down.

  “Stop right now!” I yell, but the asshole goes faster and makes a sharp turn. I’m on him until we cross the street and I’m hit by a car. “Fuck!” I cry. I attempt to get back on my feet quickly only to see the car getting away. Taking out my gun I try to get a clear shot, but there are too many civilians around. “Fuck.”

  I need to get Caroline safe. I need to get her out of Tonya’s house and keep her away from all this shit. Not needing to deal with anyone telling me to go to the hospital and get checked out I text Clarke and tell him I’m on my way.

  As soon as I get to Clarke’s, Caroline rushes out and jumps in my arms.

  “Mason,” she cries. “You’re okay. I was so scared. Clarke told me everything.”

  “I’m okay, baby. But get your things. We need to go to my parents’ house.”

  “Okay.” She slowly lets me go and slides off me. “Everything’s changing huh?”

  “Yes, baby. Everything’s changing.”

  I wait outside when Clarke comes out and I see the distress on his face. We talk about what happened and what internal affairs is doing.

 
; “It’s a fucking mess, Clarke,” I tell him. “Scott’s in the department spewing shit about Devin and then gets stabbed and I get hit by a car? What the fuck’s going on?”

  “No idea. Have you talked to Mike? Devin’s informant?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “I haven’t talked to him in a while. Why? What’s going on?”

  “Honestly I don’t know,” Clarke answers and rubs his face with tension and frustration. “We got to find out what the fuck’s going on or else more lives are going to be threatened.”

  “I know, Chief. I’ll try and talk to Devin. When I left the station he was talking to IAB since I gave them my statement already.”

  “Be safe out there and let me know if you hear anything.”

  After almost fifty hours going through notes, interviews and talking with Clarke and Devin I finally get back to my parents’ house and find Caroline curled on my bed holding my sweater. Sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her I lean down and kiss the top of her head.

  “Mason?” she mutters and her eyes slowly flutter open. “You’re okay.”

  “I’m okay,” I tell her and watch as she slides up to a sitting position. “I’m sorry I kept Alisha and Lila a secret. There’s a lot going on with them and none of it is good.”

  “Am I in danger?”

  I rub my face and look down. Fuck, I don’t want to have this conversation with her. “To be honest I don’t know. Alisha was safe in California, but when people got wind she was in town they took action.”

  “People?”

  “Do you remember when Rico was killed?” Caroline nods her head. “Before that when Evan met Alisha he didn’t realize her connection with Rico and when she got pregnant that caused a lot of shit. We did everything to hide the pregnancy and the week she was due I flew out to California and with help we delivered Lila. No hospitals or doctors. Anyone who knew was under oath not to say anything and to keep Lila out of danger. We made sure Alisha’s death was in the papers and made it real. Everything was real and kept secret. But someone talked and now things are falling apart. The thing is Rico was Alisha’s brother and her betrayal to her family led to her death.”

  “So Rico’s family is behind all of this?” I nod my head. “What does that mean for me?”

  “It means I have to keep you safe at all times. You won’t be able to go back to your house and I’m sorry. I can send people there and we can get whatever you need.”

  Caroline scoffs and shakes her head. “Anything that belongs to Evan you can burn. He’s dead to me. Everything we shared, all the memories, laughs, and shit is for nothing. I can’t believe I cried and mourned over him. And you knew, Mason,” she softly cries. “You knew and didn’t tell me.”

  “I know.” I caress her face and pray she’ll forgive me. “I know and I’m sorry. I wish I could turn back time and tell you everything. I wish Evan never did that and I wish I never knew the secret, but there’s more.”

  “More?”

  “In Alisha’s purse there was an envelope and it was addressed to me. I didn’t read it yet and would like to read it with you if that’s okay.”

  “I guess.”

  “Okay.” Grabbing the letter from my pocket I carefully open it and take out the one page letter.

  Mason,

  If you’re reading this then I’m dead. I knew coming back was going to cost me my life and part of me didn’t care because no matter what, they were going to find me. Thank you for keeping us safe. I wish it didn’t have to come to this and maybe it didn’t. Sometimes bad things happen and we can’t change it.

  Lila is with a friend of mine. The address is at the bottom. Please don’t put her in foster care. She needs a good home and people who will love her. Please don’t let her find out about Evan and me until she’s old enough to understand. My friend will have a box for you. Use it for Lila and please don’t argue.

  Before I left California I burned everything belonging to Lila and me. No one knows about her and that’s the way it needs to stay . . . forever. She’ll never know the evil that surrounds her life.

  Thank you, Mason, for everything.

  Alisha

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know,” I tell her while reading the letter again. “I can’t raise a baby and I can’t ask you to.”

  “Tonya,” Caroline says. “Tonya will do it. She and Clarke want a baby so badly and I know this will make her happy. There aren’t any records of Lila and no one will have to know.”

  When we get to Tonya and Clarke’s house and tell them what’s going on, Tonya eagerly takes the baby and Clarke stays behind. He watches them and then me.

  “This is illegal and bullshit,” I mutter. Shaking my head I get up and go to the window. Alisha and Evan are dead. Lila’s an innocent baby with no one to care for her and I can’t ask Caroline to raise her cheating husband’s child. It’s wrong on every level. Everything in my body is screaming to go through the right channels, but then there’s that small part of me, the part Caroline created, that’s telling me I have to do what Alisha wants.

  “So let me get this straight,” Clarke stands up and paces his living room. “Evan met Alisha who is Rico’s sister who is also Javier’s sister, the man we’ve been trying to arrest, and now she’s dead and you’re giving us Lila.”

  “For the most part,” Caroline answers with confidence and strength. “She’s an innocent baby and has no one.”

  “You’re shitting me, Ryan,” Clarke bellows. “Do you know what you’re doing right now?”

  “She said no one knows about Lila,” I shout back. “What the hell do you want me to do?”

  “Oh . . . I don’t know, maybe fucking tell me before any of this shit happens. Damn it, Ryan.” Clarke leaves the room and I fall onto the couch looking at Caroline while Tonya is lovingly carrying Lila. I made the right choice.

  “Give him time, Mason,” Tonya says. “It’s hard and he’s still feeling what happened to Scott. He’s been through a lot. You both have. But this beautiful girl, she’s a blessing. I’ll talk to him. Can she stay with us now?”

  “If that’s what you want. Yes.”

  “Thank you again.” Tonya smiles and kisses Lila’s cheek.

  I made the right choice.

  Leaving Caroline and Tonya to talk I walk into Clarke’s office and shut the door. He looks up then back down at his desk.

  “Lila’s not a secret,” he mutters.

  “What?”

  “Devin’s informant told me Javier knows about Lila. He wants her. You need to give that baby up. She can’t be in my house, Ryan.”

  “Did you not see the look on your wife’s face? She’s happy. Fucking petition for custody of her. There’s no judge in the world that’ll allow a baby to be with a drug lord. Javier’s bad news.”

  “They’ve already been playing clean up. Lila’s the last thing they need. Alisha, Evan and Scott are gone. Who’s to say you or Caroline aren’t next and all you can think about is that fucking baby?”

  “Don’t do that shit. You don’t think I know a hit’s been out for me?”

  “Then what the fuck are you going to do?”

  “I’m not running. We have enough evidence to pin Javier and his crew. Why aren’t we moving in?”

  “There’s not enough to hold him. As soon as he lawyers up we’ve lost. Don’t you get it? My fucking PD has messed up so many times with him. We can’t do that shit again, Ryan.”

  “I’ll figure it out,” I finally say before leaving and taking Caroline back to my parents’ house.

  Heading back home, Caroline’s quiet in the car. I give her time to process the day’s events and force myself to keep my hands on the steering wheel. Everything she’s ever known has been taken away from her.

  “Do you want me to take you to your mom’s house?”

  “No,” she answers and I let out a quiet sigh. I’d fight to keep her with me, but I want everything she decides to be her choice.

 
Since Mason’s working so many hours to find out more about Scott’s death and interrogating Javier, now that new evidence is coming up and people are coming in and confessing, I’m staying with Tonya to keep her company and help with Lila. When I look at her I see Evan and as much as I hate him and as much as I regret spending my life with him I can’t have so much hate in my heart forever.

  The one year anniversary of his death was last week. I visited his grave with Tonya and Lila. We sat there for a while and talked. I held Lila and promised I’d help keep her safe. There was a breeze blowing through and I knew it was Evan telling me he’s sorry.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Tonya asks while putting Lila down.

  “Talk about what?” I don’t look at Tonya and continue knitting a sweater for Lila. Fall is here and winter is around the corner. Winters in Webster can be really bad or mild. Since we’ve had a pretty mild summer I’m thinking this one will be blistering cold and the baby should have nice, warm clothes. Plus, when I knit I don’t turn to anything that will harm my wallet or give me a hangover like shopping or drinking.

  “Don’t play dumb. And honestly . . . knitting?”

  “Yes,” I smile and continue, “it’s very relaxing and Lila will look cute in this sweater. See?” I lift up the sweater and see Tonya shaking her head.

  “Oh, dear, you need a new hobby. So spill it. I know you have a million things on your mind. You didn’t cry at the ceremony and I’m surprised.”

  “Why?”

  “Don’t shut me out.”

  “I’m not,” I sigh. “My husband cheated on me and continued to see this woman and fathered a baby girl. Now my best friend is raising my cheating husband’s baby and I’m supposed to not be upset?”

  “You’re upset we have Lila?”

  “No,” I immediately tell her. “No. I am so glad you have her. She’s going to be loved by you and Clarke. It’ll be amazing. How’s the process going to keep her?”

  “It’s hard,” Tonya sighs. “The judge knows we’ll do a great job, but with Alisha and Evan dead it’s hard to say what she’ll decide.”