Romance: My Stepbrother's Plaything

by Valentine, Annie

  “I agree completely,” Hannah said.

  “Oh and after you get married, it’ll be a whole different level! I hope you’re excited to finally start having babies,” Ashley laughed but instead of them reciprocating it, an odd silence fell around them.

  Hayley looked at Hannah from the corner of her eyes and shot her sister a warning look, as though she had said the wrong thing.

  Hannah gulped, “We have actually decided to not have kids,” she said.

  “Oh?” Ashley seemed surprised to hear this, “Why not? I highly recommend you to keep that option open – honestly my kids are everything to me. And I am sure you guys will change your mid later on as well,” she droned on unaware of the horrific looks her sister was shooting her way.

  “No, actually,” Hannah started slowly, “We cannot. Nick had a vasectomy done three years ago,” she said finally and then cracked a smile but you could tell it wasn’t genuine by the way it did not reach her eyes.

  Suddenly, realization dawned upon Ashley’s face and she scrambled to change the topic, “Right – um, sorry I obviously did not know that,” she said hurriedly.

  “That’s fine,” Hannah replied with a smile, “It was a mutual decision.”

  But the flashback began to play in her mind. Three years ago, Hannah had a pregnancy scare. It was at a time when both of them were in college and still did not even live together yet. The prospect had been terrifying then, for they were not in the right state of mind or have the financial means to take care of a baby.

  So, their relief had been massive when they found out it was only a scare. But Nick had gone an extra step and decided to get a vasectomy done. They had argued about it – she had said that he is potentially closing all doors for them to ever conceive a child and he was replied that she did not want children either.

  And while it was true back then, it still had felt very strange to just go on and cut the cord all together –for Hannah did not know what the future held for them. In the end, he had agreed that if they ever changed their minds, they would always adopt but the chance of that happening was bleak.

  That was three years ago and now two weeks away from her wedding with the man who could never give her children, she sometimes found herself thinking about what it would be like. The prospect excited her a little but she wondered if it was because she actually wanted children or if now it had become a forbidden fruit type scenario for her and so she wanted it.

  But whatever the urge was, she found herself buying little baby shoes and baby clothes and hiding them away in the loose step of her dressing drawers. She knew that conceiving a child with Nick was an impossibility and she loved him too much regardless of that, but sometimes she wished it were different and he was more open to the idea.

  Shaking all baby-related thoughts away, Hannah decided to stop sulking about what could have been and focus on the now. She excused herself from Ashley and decided to go find Nick, Hayley followed suit.

  “Hey,” she said as she trailed behind Hannah, “Don’t take any of the things she says too seriously, alright? She doesn’t know how much of a pain those kids are going to be when they grow up,” Hayley tried to pass it off a lighthearted joke but Hannah could see that she was concerned for her inside.

  She nodded, “Where do you think Nick is?” she said, avoiding answering the question but that is when her gaze landed into the spot where he was.

  And he was not alone. From a distance, Hannah could see that Nick was conversing with a woman and while that was not an issue, something about her stance told her that she had seen this person before. An uncomfortable feeling arose in her system as she final begun to realize who it was.

  Her eyes darting between the woman and Nick and then finally coming to rest on Hayley, “Is that Samantha Parker?” she asked her with gritted teeth.

  Hale was quiet for a moment, as though lamenting about something private, “Yeah,” she finally said, “She was back in town – I would not have invited her if I knew you would have a problem with it,” she tried to explain herself but an odd expression has taken over Hannah’s face now as she shook her head firmly.

  “Not at all,” she said, “Excuse me, will you?” she said and then walked off towards Nick and Samantha’s direction.

  Samantha had been Nick’s girlfriend in high school before the two of them started going out and even though, Hannah knew she was no competition for her, seeing her with Nick after all these years made an odd emotion stir up inside of her. It was not one of jealousy – as she was the one with the ring on her finger and not Samantha but something of an odd wistfulness instead.

  She cleared her throat to make her presence known as she walked over to the two of them. Nick seemed startled by her sudden presence but Samantha nearly did a double take – that too in excitement.

  “Hannah!” she called out in her overly zealous tone of hers, “My girl! Oh congratulations! Nick was just told me about your engagement,” she said wrapping the brunette up into a hug.

  Hannah was a little surprised - in high school, Samantha had been extremely cold to her at the very least if not malicious. She had resented the fact that Nick had left her for Hannah but it seemed that over the years, she had done some maturing or at least that is what it seemed like judging by her behavior right now.

  “Thanks,” Hannah managed to squeeze out the words as she wiggled out of her grip, trying to maintain a smile on her face.

  “I was just actually telling Nick how you should both drop by at my house,” she told her, “I would love to catch up with you too in private! I am sure you both have had a hell of a journey to share with me,” she said grinning at Hannah.

  Hannah could not help but nod even though, inside she was begging Nick to abandon this conversation and them to leave.

  Hannah did not know what it was about Samantha but something in her demeanor still irked her immensely to the point where it made her feel uncomfortable in her presence – like the feeling you get when you dress yourself up on a sweater and it turns out to be a sunny day outside.

  Perhaps it was in the way that Samantha had always been perfection bottled up in a little vial – she had graduated on top of their class and gone abroad to pursue her education while the rest stayed behind. Hannah would sometimes hear stories about her adventure world hopping around the world from mutual friends but for the most part, she tried to steer clear of anything Samantha inspired.

  And right now it was proving to be quite the arduous task.

  “Yeah, definitely,” Nick chimed in, “Actually, we would love to have you at the wedding as well!” he offered without even asking Hannah.

  This caused Samantha’s eyes to lit up in excitement and Hannah’s to widen in horror – Hannah stared back at Nick and silently tried to communicate her apprehension with her eyes but he was paying no attention as Samantha giggled and nodded her head.

  “Of course, of course,” she replied, “I would not miss it for the world!” she said and then let out an exaggerated squeal.

  --

  The car-ride home had been mostly silent with the sounds of the radio droning out the absence of noise. Even though they were comfortable with such silences, Nick knew that this one felt impregnated with the weight of something between them. And so when Hannah said she would retire to bed early, claiming she isn’t feeling well, Nick knew that something was bothering her.

  He slid over next to her on their bed and nudged her lightly with his elbow, “Hey there sleepy head,” he said softly, “do you want to talk about it?” he asked gently.

  “Talk about what?” she said pursing her lips together, “I do not have anything to say to you,” she concluded and tried to turn the other way.

  But Nick was quick, as his hands snaked across her waist and turned her over to his side again, “Hey?” he said firmly, “We do not do this passive aggressive stuff. Come on, this is us,” he said softly, nudging her again, “you can tell me.”

  She sighed and he knew that it was indic
ation that she had caved, “I don’t know – it’s just a whole bunch of ramblings inside of my brain,” she admitted, truthfully.

  “About the wedding?”

  She pressed her lips together in a tight line, “Well, partially,” she said, “but, you know.”

  “Hey, don’t get cold feet now. I’ll be devastated if a pretty girl like you abandon me down the altar,” he teased, grinning now to lighten up the mood.

  Hannah laughed in return and playfully hit his arm with the back of her hands, “Hey, stop it,” she said.

  A small moment of silence fell upon them and then Hannah finally decided to get out of her head and speak up, “Nick?” she asked.

  “Mhmm?” he replied, he had begun to trace little circles across her stomach with his fingers and seemed perfectly content that way.

  “I was wondering,” she started and then paused to search for the right words to say, “Do you... are we still convinced that children are a bad idea?” she asked.

  Nick stopped the motion of his fingers and prodded himself upwards to look at her, “Why? Are you thinking about them?” he asked her solemnly.

  She did not shake her head but she did not nod either, “Honestly, no,” she finally admitted after a small thought, “but I was only wondering. A fleeting thought in my brain - you know?”

  Nick sank back down again and his fingers went back to work with the circles, “You know we cannot even if we tried,” he said quietly.

  Hannah sighed – she knew that this was the response she was going to receive in the first place. She wondered why did she even brought it up, “I guess,” she said, “I just – sometimes I get curious okay? What if I don’t want to rob myself off the experience of motherhood?”

  Nick was silent for a moment as he let her words sink in – he did not know why she was suddenly expressing her maternal instincts that he had never even known the existence of before. “You are not robbing yourself of anything,” he answered, sounding a little irked, “I mean – we made this decision together.”

  Hannah was put off by his tone of words toward her, “Yeah well you seemed to forget that when you were off making decisions for us on your own today,” she said, knowing that this will piss him off.

  “What are you trying to say here, Hannah?” he asked, getting up now so that he sat up on the bed instead of laying down.

  “Samantha,” she said, not wanting to explain more.

  “Oh you have to be kidding me,” he said, running a frustrated hand now through his hair, “Was I supposed to ask you before inviting her? I thought she was a friend!” he said defensively.

  She pursed her lips together, “She was definitely not just a friend to you, though.”

  “That was years ago,” Nick said as though he found her words extremely incredulous, “You know that I only love you right? I did not know you would react in such an emotional and unnecessary way.”

  His proclamation of love calmed her down a little even though she was not still entirely sure what she was anxious for. And then she sighed, “I know – but she just reminds me of that time,” she admitted quietly.

  “Babe,” Nick said now turning over to her, “You the only one with my heart. And if you want, I can cancel plans with her and take her invite back,” he offered.

  “No, no,” Hannah said, backtracking now, “I was just being silly, I guess. There is no need to do either of those things.”

  “Okay,” he said, “but I still want you to know that you are my only.”

  She smiled at that and instead of replying in words, she decided to swoop down and peck him on the lips instead.

  Chapter 3

  It was the day that Nick and Hannah were meant to go see Samantha. Even though Hannah was dreading the event, she had decided to be a mature grown up about the situation and suck it up – for Nick.

  It was almost 6 AM by the time they had finally gotten ready for dinner with Samantha. Hannah had done up her hair and makeup well but she had just managed to slip in inside of her dress and needed help zipping it up.

  “Nick?” she called out to him from the room, “Where are we going again?” The exact details of the diner had slipped from her mind.

  “You know that Japanese place on Ford Street,” he replied stepping out of their closet and Hannah was immediately aware of the fact that he was shirtless. She drank him up for a while and then cleared her throat, realizing that he had caught her staring.

  “Like what you see?” he grinned at her, causing her to snap out of her trance.

  “Zip me up,” she chose not to answer and instead just gave him the directive. He chuckled and walked to her obediently, his cold hands reaching over to the top of her zipper and his eyes fixated on the small metal latch to pull it up.

  Hannah watched him in the full length mirror before her, gazing at him appreciatively.

  But before his fingers pulled up the zipper up all the way, he dipped down his neck to leave a kiss at the spot and then covered it over with the zipper, causing a small shiver to go down her body.

  “You are beautiful,” he said to her.

  She turned around to wrap her hands over his shoulders, leaning in to nuzzle his shoulder, “you flatter me,” she said.

  “And you deserve every little bit of it,” he said in conclusion, “Now are we ready to leave?”

  She stole once last full glance in the mirror. Well, her hair was in place for once and Nick thought she looked beautiful. So perhaps it was time to go.

  She nodded and took the hand he had held out for her, admiring the stone on her finger as she did so. She never got tired of looking at the ring – to her, it was the perfect physical representation of their love and she loved to show it off to the world proudly.

  --

  The restaurant itself was quiet quaint in aesthetic and Hannah could hardly wait as she waiter brought their food to their table. Samantha sat right across the table from them, flicking her hair to a side as she retold one of her stories from her semester in Europe.

  “Ah, those men are great,” she humble bragged, “Honestly, you two; I really admire the way you have stuck together with each other all these years. I would have never been able to do it!” she said.

  Hannah exchanged a surreptitious glance with Nick bur Samantha remained oblivious as she carried on speaking. “Just – it’s amazing. I mean, I used to get tired of a man after a month with him – which is great because Europe has a lot of men,” she said, laughing at her own anecdote.

  “Well, we’re pretty happy the way we are,” Nick told her politely with smile and turned to look at Hannah, his smile widening into a goofy grin, “When you find the one – you just know.”

  Hannah looked back at him and returned his grin, “Yeah, I guess to each their own,” she said, addressing Samantha.

  Samantha looked between the two of them and an unrecognizable hint of an expression flashed her face. She then returned her gaze to her own plate.

  “You know,” she said, taking a bite out of her meal, “I may have had my fair share of experiences with a lot of men but somehow, it makes each encounter all the more intense. I remember every single one,” she said and for a fraction of a second, her eyes flicked over to Nick as she said the words.

  It was a brief exchanged – so rapid you could have almost missed it if you were not paying enough attention but it was enough to suddenly make Hannah lose all her appetite. She gazed back at Samantha, who had gone back to eating as though nothing had occurred just now and then Hannah looked back, who seemed oblivious and probably actually was in reality.

  With a raise of her eyebrow, Hannah regarded Samantha was scrutiny. Did this mean that Samantha still remember the time she was with Nick? She did not know too many details of their relationship but she knew that Samantha was the person who Nick had given up his virginity to. They had dated for two years before Samantha broke it off with him only to hook up with his best friend but six months later, she had wanted him back. But by then, it was far too lat
e as Nick had already met Hannah and was too smitten with her to pay Samantha any regard.

  Still, Hannah wondered if Samantha still had some latent feelings for Nick. The thought oddly upset her more than it should. Suddenly, she pushed it away from her head and decided to focus on the present moment instead of conjuring up new issues in her mind.

  “It’s the same with us,” Hannah finally replied, staring her dead on, “but with us, we are each other’s constant. So it is more a series than a new episode each time,” she explained and Nick laughed at her analogy.

  But Samantha only had a little polite smile to offer them as she went back to taking another bite of her food.

  --

  “Honestly that was completely out of line,” her raven haired best friend remarked the next day as Hannah recounted her events from the night before to her, “she was probably either trying to rile you up or seeing if she still had a chance with Nick – both of which of course, have a zero success rate.”

  Hannah pursed her lips together and then nodded, “You are right,” she said, “I am not affected by anything she says. Honestly, I do not even mind that she comes to the wedding all that much. But just – this morning I saw that she had texted Nick.”

  This piqued the interest of Hayley, “Texted him?” she asked with a raised eyebrow, “That’s weird. Did you see what it read?”

  Hannah shook her head, “No I didn’t want to be that girl,” she said with a laugh, “but her contact name has been saved under ‘Sam’.”

  “Girl, if you won’t, I will!” Hayley said quickly, “Ain’t no boy good enough to mess over my best friend.”

  “Hey, he hasn’t done anything,” Hannah quickly came to her fiancés’ aid, “I trust him – it’s her that I am vary of.”

  “You want me to step in?” Hayley offered, “I could give her a straight talk – where you lack majorly.”

  She shook her head, “It’s not that extreme. It was just a text and it could be anything,” she said but deep down, it did bother her a little.