Leave a Trail

by Fanetti, Susan

  From the far corner, where she was taking hard rolls off a cookie sheet she’d just pulled from one of the two wall ovens, Lilli answered, “Yeah—uh, Adrienne, check the turkey, would you?”

  Cory stepped to the side so that Adrienne could comply. “It says one-sixty degrees.”

  Lilli nodded. “That’s close, then. I’ll make sure the girls have the table set, and I’ll round up the troops.” She went out into the Hall.

  “I heard you and Shannon talking. I think it’s nice that you’re getting married in the church. It’s a nice thing to do for everybody. You’re a sweet girl, Adrienne. Badge’s lucky. We all are.”

  Adrienne stepped back to stand next to Cory, sensing an opportunity in what she had said. “Thank you. Um…can I ask you something?”

  Cory gave her a smile. “Sure.”

  “I don’t really want organ music for the wedding. It’s so heavy and…just not me. Not us. Would you play during the ceremony? There’s a song I really like. Just an acoustic guitar.”

  The smile faded. “Oh, hon. I’m sorry. I don’t play anymore.”

  Adrienne knew that. Badger had told her not to ask, because Cory had stopped playing her guitar when Havoc died, and a wedding seemed to him the wrong reason to ask her to start again. But it felt to her like more than just a thing she wanted in her wedding. It felt important in a bigger way than that. She couldn’t push Cory any harder than simply asking, though. It seemed cruel to do more than ask.

  “Okay. I understand. I just thought I’d ask.”

  Cory considered her for a long time, then shook her head. “I appreciate the honor, Adrienne. It’s very sweet. I just can’t.”

  Adrienne lifted up a bit on her toes and kissed Cory’s cheek. “I understand. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

  “You didn’t. I’m touched.” Cory squeezed her arm. “Let’s get all the food into serving dishes and have ourselves a feast.

  ~oOo~

  Portable buffet tables, stretched end to end over the full length of the Hall, had been covered in white twill—and then overlaid with butcher paper, because they were not feeding a civilized gathering of diners. They were feeding a horde of Horde and farmers. For the same reason, the plates were melamine, and the napkins were paper.

  Although the tables were cheap and efficiently dressed, and the chairs were metal and folding, the women—led by Lilli and Shannon, as always—had made a pretty setting. And there was food everywhere. Three of the biggest turkeys Adrienne had ever seen. Two hams. A big meatloaf. Bowls and baskets and trays of side dishes—vegetables, casseroles, potatoes, breads, everything. The tables literally sagged slightly under the weight of the dishes spread over them. And the bar was covered in pies, cakes, trifles, and cookies.

  People packed the Hall, and room resounded with good cheer. The jovial vibe of the festivities—people talking and laughing, children playing, couples arm in arm or hand in hand, made Adrienne feel a deep ache of homesickness, one she hadn’t felt so strongly since the day her father drove a U-Haul to the B&B and dumped the dregs of her old life on her head. Their family holidays had been civilized affairs, lovely but not remotely like this chaotic revelry in the Hall, but still she felt a pull of loss. With a determined shake of her head, she cleared that pain away. No. She had made her choice. Her ex-father had made his—and she was finished thinking about him. Never would she believe that what he had done was even a misguided gesture of love. It had been a gesture of control, and he had lost.

  She still spoke online with her brothers, but, as they had recently been forbidden to stay connected with her, their contact was dwindling. Now, they had to sneak. They were more than willing to do so, but it made her feel wretched.

  Leaving those unhappy thoughts behind, Adrienne surveyed the scene of the family she had. Distinct from the family she’d lost in every conceivable way. As full and crazy as it was, there was room for her here, room to be the person she was—and room to change her mind about who she was.

  A kids’ table was set up not far from the main table, and it seemed to be nearly as long. Not only the club kids would eat there. Many town families with children had come—even some families who were fairly new to Signal Bend and had been suspicious and fearful of the Horde’s influence. Badger had told Adrienne of their troubles a year ago, and she’d seen it a little when she’d first come to town. But after the fire, when she’d gone back out into the world a little, things had seemed much as they’d always been.

  Lilli and Cory got the kids seated and fed first. Then Isaac cupped his hands over his mouth and called people to the table, and the room settled quickly. Badger caught Adrienne’s hand and pulled her to sit with him near the head, where the Horde family was grouping.

  Isaac stood at the head of the table, the biggest turkey in front of him. Not for the first time, Adrienne was struck hard by his size and presence. With his long, dark braid, his beard, his distinctive scar and intense green eyes, all sitting on top of impossibly broad shoulders, Isaac commanded attention and respect by simply existing. He wore his significance on his bones. In one way or another, all the Horde did, whether they were giants like Isaac and Show or not. They were not men to be taken lightly. Her gaze shifted to the man at her side. Her man. He was watching Isaac, and she had his profile all to herself. He was beautiful. She’d always believed that she could see the depth of his soul most clearly when his face was in repose. He was a man who watched, who thought, who felt—who knew—before he acted. A man like that might be mistaken for one who could be discounted, but that would be a terrible mistake.

  Love for him made her blood race and bubble.

  When the table was fully seated, before he picked up the carving tools, Isaac said, “There’s a lot of great food here, and I’m not gonna keep you from it. But I wanted to thank you all for being here with us, makin’ this day full of family and friends. It means a lot.” He looked at Lilli, then over at the kids’ table—the occupants there were ignoring him completely. He cleared his throat. “I’m not a grace-sayer. But I do want to say thanks. We have a lot to be thankful for. A year ago, I didn’t believe that could be true again. We’ve had some hard times. We’ve lost a lot. All of us—the club, the town. Family and friends. We’ve got hard times ahead. That’s the way of this life. It’s the way of any life, I guess. But I am thankful for my family. For my brothers and my club. For my friends and neighbors. For my town, this little wide spot that almost died right out from under us. We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve fought together, and we’ve fought each other. But we came through it standing. We came through it together. I am thankful for all of you. I am thankful for this life.”

  He was quiet for a few seconds, and his silence spread through the Hall; even the children keyed into the change and settled. Then he nodded. “Okay. Let’s cut this bird and dig in.” The adults erupted in cheers and applause.

  Badger turned to Adrienne, his dazzling eyes aglitter with unshed tears. “That is worth everything.”

  Her own eyes blurring now, she nodded.

  ~oOo~

  Four days before Christmas, on Isaac and Lilli’s sixth wedding anniversary, Adrienne sat at a vanity in a small back room of St. John’s Methodist Church. Bree Jensen, the office manager at Tasha’s clinic, stood behind her, pinning her mass of hair into a loose updo.

  “You have the most amazing hair I’ve ever had my hands in.” Bree spoke with bobby pins in her teeth. “Thank you so much for letting me do this.”

  Adrienne smiled at Bree’s reflection in the illuminated mirror. “Dora said you were a wizard with hair, and she was right. This is perfect, Bree. Just perfect. Thank you so much.”

  The pretty blonde blushed. Once all the pins were in, she finger-combed the tendrils left on either side of Adrienne’s face. Then she held up the final touch. “Do you want to do the honors, or should I?”

  “You can do it.”

  Bree nodded and tucked the slimly delicate, silver and pearl tiara into the bound wave
s atop Adrienne’s head. Then she stepped back, and three women looked into the mirror at the result.

  “Wow,” said Shannon, beaming at Adrienne in the mirror.

  “You are so beautiful,” Bree whispered. “The prettiest bride I ever saw. I’m gonna go find Ashlynne and my mom. Thanks again for this job.” With a little gesture that was practically a curtsy, Bree left.

  Before the door had closed completely, it stopped, and there was a light knock on the other side.

  Still smiling into the mirror, Shannon called out, “If you’re not Badge, come in.”

  Darlene, Badger’s mother, opened the door and peeked in. “I don’t mean to interrupt.”

  Adrienne turned and smiled at her mother-in-law-to-be. “Not at all. Come in!”

  Darlene had chosen a matronly, but pretty, jacketed dress in deep rose chiffon. She looked exactly like the mother of a groom, a bit frumpy, especially standing next to the glorious Shannon, who was wearing a beautiful, shiny silk suit in sage green. So close to Christmas, and with the church already decorated for the holidays, Adrienne had gone with the flow and chosen shades of red and green for her colors.

  Now Darlene looked into the mirror, beaming at Adrienne’s reflection. “Oh, honey. You look like an angel.” A hand fluttered near her throat. “Oh, my. I think I’m gonna cry.”

  “Thanks, Darlene.” It still seemed odd to use her first name. “You look really pretty, too.”

  “You’re such as sweetie. Thanks.” She lifted the skirt of her dress a little and swayed her hips. “I can’t think when I felt this fancy. Maybe not since my own weddin’.” She glanced at Shannon. “I…I wonder…could I have a minute with her? Just a minute, alone?”

  Shannon met Adrienne’s eyes, and Adrienne nodded.

  “Sure. I’ll just go make sure everything’s running smoothly.” Shannon stepped out, and Adrienne was alone with Darlene. For a few seconds, they were uncomfortably quiet. Darlene looked like she regretted asking for this audience. Adrienne watched her in the mirror as she fretted and fidgeted.

  “Darlene? Are you okay?”

  She tittered nervously. “Oh, yes. I wanted to talk to you about somethin’, but I’m not sure how to start.”

  Now Adrienne felt a little worry. “Is there a problem?” She turned in her seat at the vanity and gestured toward a nearby armchair. Darlene sat.

  “No. It’s just…okay.” She sighed. “I want to talk to you about who Justin is. What it means that he’s not really Justin anymore. He’s Badger. Horde.”

  Now Adrienne felt more worry. Was this going to be some kind of ill-timed warning? “Darlene, you don’t have to—”

  Darlene held up her hand, and Adrienne didn’t finish her sentence. “I know. I just want to say that maybe it seems strange that a mom would see her boy hurt like Jus—Badger’s been hurt and still be at peace with the life he chose. I know for a while some people in town didn’t understand it. I let him think that he’s keepin’ stuff from me, but he’s not. Hank, too. He knows. We talk about it. We worry. I just want to let you know that just because we don’t meddle in his choices, it don’t mean we don’t care.”

  “I don’t think that. I’d never think that. Badger doesn’t think that. He loves you guys.”

  She smiled and reached out to pat Adrienne’s hand. The pads of her fingers were rough and grooved with work. “You really are a sweet girl. The Horde does a lot of good. I know you know it, but I just want to say that we know it, too. Hank and me, we owe them a lot, more than we could ever repay. When Justin was hurt so bad, laid up in the clubhouse, and he didn’t want us around, that was hard. It’s hard to see your own child sufferin’ like he was—and not bein’ able to do anything was worse. But we knew he was in good hands. We trusted the club. We knew they’d take care. Maybe I had a different life in mind for my baby, but I know he’s in the life that’s right for him. I just…I just felt like I wanted you to know that.”

  Darlene had let her hand lie on Adrienne’s through that whole speech. Now she seemed to realize it, and she twitched and began to pull away. Adrienne caught her and held that work-aged hand in both of hers. “I do know it. Badger is so lucky. You love him without judgment. You understand him. That makes you special to me.” She lifted Badger’s mom’s hand and kissed it.

  “Oh, honey. You are a treasure.”

  There was a quick knock at the door, and Shannon opened it and leaned in. “I’m sorry, but it’s getting to be about time, I think.”

  With a quick squeeze of Adrienne’s hand, Darlene stood and smoothed out the skirt of her dress. “Okay. I’m gonna take Jason’s arm and have him walk me down the aisle. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” At the door, she turned back. “You are just beautiful, Adrienne. Inside and out. An angel sent from heaven just for us.” She blew a little kiss and left.

  Alone with Shannon, Adrienne looked up into the mirror to see her mother, this mother, smiling at her, almost glowing with love. Adrienne felt the warmth of it in her heart.

  “You really do look perfect, Ade. Like something out of old Hollywood. You just need one more touch. Something borrowed.” She reached into her handbag and handed Adrienne a black velvet box.

  “What’s this?”

  Shannon made a diffident shrug. “Just something I bought in my old life, before Signal Bend.”

  Adrienne opened the box and found a magnificent pair of art deco, diamond and pearl drop earrings set in platinum. “Oh. Oh, Shannon. Oh, my God. These are…oh, my God. Are you sure you trust me with these?”

  “I trust you with anything, Ade.” She took the box back and lifted an earring out. “They’re antique, with a screw back. Not for pierced ears. Do you need help?”

  “Please.” Adrienne tipped her head, presenting her ear to Shannon.

  When she had her earrings, and her tiara, and her perfect hair, she stood, a white silk dressing gown loose over her ivory corset and gartered stockings—something that was aggressively not her style, but she didn’t wander around her life wearing a tiara and diamond earrings, either. She let the robe drop away, and Shannon helped her ease into her dress. Finally, she slipped into a pair of vivid blue peau de soie kitten heels—her ‘something blue’—and she was…ready? Yes, she was ready to get married.

  As Shannon and she held hands and said nothing, there was a knock at the door. Shannon went to the door and peeked out, making sure it wasn’t Badger. “Hey, you.”

  From the other side of the door, Adrienne heard Show’s voice. “Hey, hon. She ready? They’re good to go out here.”

  Shannon turned back, her eyes wide and loving. “You ready?” At Adrienne’s nod, she lifted up her own small bouquet and handed Adrienne her larger. “Okay. I’ll meet you out front. I’ll check to make sure Lilli has Gia and Bo ready, but you know she does.”

  Show came in as Shannon went out. He stopped near the door and stared. “Christ, little one. Look at you.”

  She blushed and looked down at her dress. “It’s good?”

  “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

  She cast a surreptitious glance at the mirror. She did look pretty great. In the reflection, she saw Show come up to her and take her hand. “You know, if another man took my place when Rose or Iris or Millie get married, I don’t know how I’d deal with that.”

  “Show, don’t.” Under no circumstances in the universe did Adrienne want to talk about her ex-father right now.

  “It’s okay, little one. He made his choice. I stood there and watched him make that mistake. My girls were taken from me, and I had to fight to get Rose and Iris back. I can’t imagine turning away from them. And I just want to tell you that. I’ll never turn my back on you. You’re my girl now. If you ever want him in your life again, just tell me, and I’ll take a step to the side. But I will always be on your side. I love you.”

  Taking deep, slow breaths and blowing them out so that she wouldn’t lose it and ruin Bree’s beautiful makeup, Adrienne took a few seconds before she could answer. When
she could, she wrapped her arms around Show’s waist and hugged him hard. “I love you. You’re the only father I need.”

  He held her, then stepped back. With a brush of his fingers across her brow, he murmured, “Don’t want to muss your pretty hair. You ready to get hitched?”

  She nodded, and Show held out his arm, cocked at the elbow. She took it, and he led her out of the room and to the sanctuary.

  Lilli was waiting with Gia and Bo. Gia was wearing a pretty and simple grey taffeta dress, with long sleeves and a full skirt, a crimson sash around her waist, tied in a bow at her back. Bo wore a black suit with a grey bow tie. Lilli handed Gia a red basket, filled with snowflakes made of glittered paper, and she helped them hold it between them, a little hand on each side.

  “Fanciest wedding I’ve ever been to.”

  Adrienne turned at Show’s comment, and he winked. “Prettiest, too.”

  Gia and Bo went down the aisle to traditional organ music. It was lovely, but Adrienne still felt a pang. Then Shannon kissed her cheek and went down the aisle on her own—Mother of the Bride, Matron of Honor, and only bridesmaid.

  The music stopped, and Show led her to the center of the doorway. The kids had tossed the contents of their basket as they’d walked, and the white sheeting down the aisle looked like glittering snow. They were marrying in the evening, after dark, and, but for a light over the altar, the church was illuminated only by candles. “Oh, it’s so beautiful. It’s perfect.”

  “Of course it is, little one. Nothing else for you.” Show squeezed her hand where it lay on his arm, and he led her into the sanctuary, where Badger stood at the end of the aisle, Len at his side, waiting for her.

  As the guests filling the pews turned to see her, Adrienne heard the first plucked notes of the song she’d wanted played. With a gasp, she turned toward the source of the sound and saw Cory standing at a microphone near the organ, her pretty red guitar slung over her shoulders. Zeke stood next to her, and after a few bars, he put a harmonica to his mouth and accompanied her.