Leave a Trail

by Fanetti, Susan

  “That’s her wedding gift to you.” Show’s voice was low and sweet.

  It was perfect. Adrienne could hear the emotion, bittersweet in Cory’s beautiful alto. Knowing the price of this gift made it all the more precious.

  “C’mon, sweetheart. We’re keepin’ your fella waiting.”

  They went down the aisle together, and the look on Badger’s face as she came closer was something she would never forget no matter how long a life she had. His love for her shone from every pore.

  ~oOo~

  The reception at Tuck’s was a predictably raucous affair. The first hour or so, with the dinner and the cake—a giant sheet cake accompanied by three cupcake trees, all made by Marie—went comparatively quietly, for this group. The toasts were bawdy and the laughter loud, and they rang their glasses over and over and over again for the couple to kiss—and no mere pecks were tolerated. They’d spent half the meal sucking face.

  Adrienne liked it that way. And Badger simply could not keep his hands off her, anyway. Especially her ring. He picked her hand up again and again, turning it to make the diamonds sparkle in the light. A slender, white-gold band, filigreed and scalloped, set all around with pavé diamonds, it had been his grandmother’s, and it fit perfectly. Darlene had given it to Badger to give to her. She was so surrounded by family and tradition, and by love and acceptance, that she no longer felt angry at the man who’d raised her. She simply felt finished with him. He had moved her out, and she had moved on.

  They had a band, a local country band called Billy and the Kids. Badger had told her he’d once been friends with them, but not so much anymore. Still, they took the gig, and Adrienne was expecting them to begin playing soon, so they could do the first dance and then people could really party.

  But Cory and Zeke took the stage. Badger had his face against her neck, nuzzling his beard against her throat, and she’d had her eyes closed, thinking that maybe it would be better if they left the partying to everybody else and just went home so she could show him her fancy underwear, when she heard Cory clear her throat at the mic, and she pushed him back a little and focused on the stage. At the church after the service, where Cory had also played an instrumental recessional, Adrienne had hugged her fiercely, tearfully. And Cory had thanked her, telling her that playing again had brought a little more of herself back.

  Maybe that was the vague sense Adrienne had had about why having Cory play at their wedding was important.

  But this was another unexpected treat. Cory spoke into the mic. “I know you picked a song for your first dance. I hope it’s okay that I play something else first. It’s a song that feels like it fits you both so well. In a way, I think it fits our whole family.” She looked across the room at Adrienne. “That okay?”

  Crying, and making every attempt not to make an ugly face while she did so, Adrienne nodded. Badger squeezed her hand and stood, leading her to the dance floor.

  “Good. I hope you like it. It’s called ‘Home,’ and wait till you hear Zeke.”

  She adjusted the mic, and Zeke stepped up. He started to whistle a few notes before Cory started to play, and then she sang—and then Zeke sang, a deep, gorgeous bass. Adrienne knew the song. It was a bright, happy duet about finding home in the place where you’re loved.

  Adrienne hadn’t been a good dancer before her legs were hurt. She was a worse dancer now. She and Badger had never danced together. It didn’t matter. He pulled her close, she rested her cheek on his strong chest, and they swayed to music of the love their family bore them.

  ~oOo~

  They left about an hour of that first dance, after the band had started and she’d danced a father-daughter dance with Show, and then a dance with Hank, and then taken a turn with each member of the Horde. Show and Shannon assured them that they’d take care of the gifts, and they left their guests to get as rowdy as they wanted.

  Hector was staying with Penny at Len and Tasha’s tonight. Adrienne thought it was sweet the way the littermates were still staying together in a way, and having sleepovers and play dates with each other.

  Badger had been quiet most of the evening—not in a way that made her worried or uncomfortable, but as if he were too overwhelmed for speech. She found comfort in the way he’d watched her and touched her all night. There was love in his silence.

  As soon as they were in their bedroom, she took off Shannon’s earrings—she’d checked again and again all night to make sure she’d always had two—and set them on her dresser. Badger fed his hands into her hair.

  “I’ve been feeling these hard things all night. What’s in there?”

  “Pins. This mop isn’t staying up with magic.” She reached up to remove the tiara and start pulling pins, but he brushed her hand away.

  “You look like a princess tonight. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I can’t believe you love me.”

  She looked over her shoulder at him. “What?”

  “No. I mean I can’t believe how lucky I am that you do.” He gently pulled the tiara free and set it on her dresser next to the earrings, then went in and started pulling pins.

  “Oh. Good. Because I really do.”

  “Jesus, there’s like a hundred pins in here. How can that be comfortable?”

  “It’s not. My head itches like you wouldn’t believe. But it was pretty. I wanted to be pretty to marry you.”

  “You’re pretty no matter what. More than pretty.”

  When he got all the pins out and her hair tumbled loose, he ran his fingers through it, over her scalp, tenderly massaging. She sighed at the pleasure and relief. He swept his hand from her shoulder, across her back, catching her waves of hair and pushing them over her other shoulder. Then he began to unfasten her dress. As he pulled the zipper down, he grazed his fingers over his mark. And then he stopped.

  “Babe, what are you wearing?”

  Looking back over her shoulder again, she sent him what she hoped was a saucy smile. “Your wedding present.”

  “Fuck. Are there…stockings?”

  “Get me out of the dress and find out.”

  He pulled the zipper the rest of the way and found out. The corset, garters, and stockings weren’t fancy—just plain, ivory satin and sheer silk, with little lace panties to match—but she felt sexy and special wearing them. And Badger was obviously impressed. He pushed the dress off her shoulders, and as she stepped out of it, she was glad to see that he didn’t just drop the elegant lace. He laid it carefully over the arms of the chair, and then he turned and took her in.

  “God.” He lifted his eyes and met hers. “I love you, Adrienne. I’m so damn sorry I ever hurt you. But I am going to do everything I can to be what you deserve. My whole life, I’m going to work to be what you need.”

  “You don’t have to, Badge. You already are. You’re my home.”

  The reverence in the kiss he gave her then had taste. When she felt drunk with emotion, he pulled back, swept her off her feet, and carried her to their wedding bed.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  With the wedding so close to Christmas, and the whole town in attendance, the Horde decided to forgo the traditional clubhouse Christmas party. On Christmas Day, members and their families met at Isaac and Lilli’s house for a more subdued day.

  Badger and Adrienne were the last to arrive—mainly because waking up next to his wife every day made him twice as horny in the morning as he’d already been. His wife. Adrienne was his wife. Holy fuck. Before he’d even open his eyes, he could feel her next to him, usually tucked snugly against him, and then he’d open his eyes and see his Granny Elma’s ring on her finger, and there was no way either of them was getting out of bed right away.

  She still wasn’t pregnant. He hadn’t put a condom on since the day they’d come home from their fight with the Perros, which was more than two months ago. Almost three months. He wasn’t sure whether it was time to start worrying about that, but Adrienne didn’t seem to be stressing, so he set any worry aside. It w
ould happen. Maybe next year, they’d be buying Christmas gifts for their own little rugrat.

  For now, though, they pulled gifts for Gia, Bo, Loki, Joey, and Millie out of Adrienne’s new car and bobbled their way through the fresh snowfall to the house, buried under packages Adrienne had wrapped with an obsessive artistry, despite the reality that the young children who would open them could not have cared less about the pretty bows and sparkles.

  He’d wanted her to get a truck or an SUV like Lilli’s or Shannon’s, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She’d wanted another ancient Beetle, and he wouldn’t hear of that—it was the wrong vehicle for where they lived. It just was. Four-wheel drive was better. Plus, if she went around a curve on one of these back roads at the wrong time and came up on some asshole thinking he owned the road, a shitty little insect of a car would lose that faceoff every time.

  Then she’d wanted a new import, and that was just not gonna fly anywhere in or around the Horde.

  They’d gone around and around for fucking months. She threatened to just go and buy one on her own, and he’d asked how she thought she’d get there without him. He threatened to buy one for her on his own. It had been one of their more heated fights, right in the middle of planning the wedding. Finally, she’d seen a bright red Chevy compact SUV on the road and had said it was cute. He’d literally turned his truck around and headed to the nearest Chevy dealer and bought her one of her own.

  Isaac and Lilli’s house was crowded and chaotic. Gia and Bo careened through the rooms, weaving in and out of their uncles’ legs, and Loki toddled behind them, squealing happily and trying to keep up. The women were nowhere to be seen at first, but after Adrienne tucked their presents under the huge tree in front of the window, she kissed his cheek and disappeared into the kitchen. Of course.

  Iris and Rose had come in the day before to spend the holiday week with Show and Shannon. Both teenagers, they had managed to avoid the feminine pull of the kitchen and were sitting on the stairs with their phones in their hands. As Badger watched, Nolan came up the hallway from the bathroom, and Rose turned her head and eyed him through the staircase railing, her sparkly pink phone forgotten. Badger realized that they were about the same age—almost exactly the same age, in fact. Seventeen. Nolan saw her and smiled a little as he walked up and looked over at her through the railing. “Hey.”

  Rose took an earbud out of her ear. “Hey.” Playing a game on her phone, earbuds in, Iris was oblivious to the pheromone dance behind her.

  “What ya doin’?”

  “Nothing. Music.”

  “Anything good?”

  She shrugged and handed her loose earbud through the railing. Grinning hugely, Badger turned before they’d noticed him watching, and saw that somebody else was watching, too. Unhappily. He crossed the room to Show.

  “You okay, brother?”

  “I got no control over my girls. None. That over there is not a good thing. My Rosie cries over every little thing. She needs a different life from this one.”

  Badger shrugged. “Relax, Show. They’re just dancing around each other. Not picking china patterns.”

  Show cocked an ironic eyebrow at him. “Like you’re an expert on teen mating rituals?”

  “I ended up doin’ okay.”

  “Yeah, you did. Good you know that. After I beat some fuckin’ sense into you.”

  ~oOo~

  The women came out to corral the kids for gifts. After they’d opened all their presents and the living room was a knee-deep ocean of crumpled paper and shiny ribbon, the adults sat for a while and watched the commotion. Bo enlisted Dom and Nolan in building a pirate ship. Gia, Tasha and Len played with her new Breyer stable and horses. Adrienne and Shannon sat, with Millie and Joey in their bouncy cars, and chatted with Rose and Iris. And Cory followed Loki around as he learned to push his new riding motorcycle—a gift from Badger and Adrienne. With every thrust of his little legs, he yelled “VROOM!”

  Isaac sat in a big leather and wood chair, Lilli on his lap, her head on his shoulder. Badger could see the edge of melancholy as they smiled and watched their children playing on Christmas morning. Isaac’s last Christmas with his wife and children for years.

  A lump rising in his throat at the thought, Badger made his way through the crowd and clutter and went out on the front porch for some fresh air. The day was overcast and cold. About three inches of snow had fallen early in the morning, and the sky seemed to threaten more. Badge hadn’t checked a weather report to know for sure, but he could smell snow in the air. The house behind him smelled of the feast the women had been preparing, and sounded of a family’s holiday joy. A perfect Christmas day.

  He thought about the Christmas before, when he’d been clutching at the slick sides of his Oxy chasm, fighting pain so deep and constant he’d lost the memory of what it was like not to have it. It had taken all his energy, every day, to cope with that pain and hold his life together, finding some semblance of a normal face to present to his brothers, his parents, so that they would not know the extent of his weakness.

  He had been the only person in his life who’d thought him weak. Now, he almost never thought of the bliss of the high. And he was married to a woman he’d loved for years. There was fight and loss yet before them, but Badger felt a hope he’d thought was dead.

  As the snow started again, and he was getting cold enough to think about heading back in, a truck came over the rise on Isaac’s gravel drive. It took Badger a beat to recognize it, probably because it was about the last truck he’d expect to see coming toward the home of the Horde President on Christmas Day. But then he saw the A/M Farms magnet on the door, and two passengers in the cab. He turned quickly and went inside.

  “Isaac!”

  In the living room, Isaac was setting Lilli off his lap and standing behind her. “What’s up?”

  “Hav’s folks are coming up.”

  “Fuck. Lilli, take the women and kids into the kitchen.”

  “No way, Is—”

  Before Lilli could finish his name, Isaac grabbed her arms. “Just fuckin’ listen, woman.” Badger saw Lilli’s grey eyes go glassy with cold fire. Isaac gentled but stayed firm. “Baby, listen. I need you safe.”

  She stared a moment longer, then nodded curtly. The women gathered up the children and went back to the kitchen. Nolan stayed with the men. Cory had tried to get him to go back, but when he’d refused, she nodded and, with a glance at Isaac, went to the kitchen with Loki struggling in her arms.

  Isaac went to the front door, but Show pulled him back before he opened it. “You don’t know what you’re going out to.”

  “I’m not pulling a gun on Hav’s father, Show.”

  “No. But don’t go out there alone.”

  The Horde were standing in the front hall. When Isaac looked around at his brothers, they all nodded. “Okay. I’ll leave the door open. Len, you come out with me.” Len stepped forward, and Isaac opened the door.

  But it wasn’t Don Mariano walking up to the porch. It was Hav’s mother, June, carrying three wrapped packages in her arms.

  Isaac stepped out, and Badger saw him cast a scanning glance around. “June. Merry Christmas.”

  She nodded. “Thank you. And to you. I’m sorry to bother you on a family day, but I was hoping I could leave these for Cory and the boys?”

  Isaac turned back to the men in the hallway. “Nolan. Get your mom.” Everybody relaxed about halfway. Don was still unaccounted for, but June seemed harmless. “Sure, June. Here, let me take those.”

  As Isaac carried the presents into the house, and June waited on the porch with Len, Cory came in from the kitchen. Isaac gestured to the gifts he’d just laid at the foot of the tree. “It’s up to you, sweetheart. What do you want to do?”

  Cory went to the front door. “Hi, June.”

  Her eyes red and brimming, June smiled. “Cory. Honey, hi. Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas.” Cory breathed a thoughtful sigh. “Would you like to come in and
sit with Loki while he opens his present?”

  “Oh, mercy. Oh, Cory,” June was all but sobbing now. “Yes. Yes, thank you.” She looked over her shoulder and then back. “Thank you. What a gift.” When Cory stepped back, June crossed the threshold and passed a row of large, suspicious men.

  Isaac went back onto the porch and looked around. “He’s still in the truck. I’m gonna go talk to him.”

  “Dammit, boss,” Len muttered. “So he can shoot you through the window? If he wanted to talk to you, he’d be here with his wife. I’ll watch him. But you know you should leave him be. There’s mending fences and there’s asking to get shot again.”

  “Maybe he’s not coming up because he’s worried what we’d do to him. He did shoot me the last time we were really face to face.”

  “Exactly. So he’s a threat. And if he’s not, these aren’t the conditions to find that out. Even if you go out there with your piece drawn, you can’t see what he’s doing. And that’s not the way to start a productive conversation, regardless.”

  Isaac glared at Len, then nodded and went back into his house.

  ~oOo~

  June stayed for an hour, holding Loki on her lap most of the time, brushing her fingers through his dark curls. He was a good-natured kid, boisterous and unhappy to be restrained, but friendly with everyone. When June had helped him open the fairly large package and he’d seen the photo on the outside of the box, he’d clapped giddily, opened his eyes wide, and pursed his lips to say “OOOOH!” It was a little plastic tool bench with a set of little plastic tools.

  Cory smiled as she helped him open the box and pull his new toy out. “Like your daddy, Loki. Your daddy had tools just like this.”

  He nodded seriously. “Like Daddy.”

  As Badger watched that sweet and sad moment play out, Adrienne came up to him and circled his waist with her arms. “Do you think they’re making up?”