Too Many Rules

by G. L. Snodgrass

  “So tell me,” Scott said, sitting back and folding his arms. “Do you have any idea how sexy you look, not just now, but all the time?” I sputtered and spewed water across the table. “I’m serious,” he continued, completely ignoring my less than stellar table manners. “You are drop dead gorgeous. It pisses me off when I see other guys staring at you. I know what’s going through their evil little minds and I want to crush them into a fine dust. Sometimes I think you really don’t know, do you?”

  This conversation was so not happening, not here, not now. I couldn’t stop smiling as I began to clear the dishes. Scott jumped up and helped me.

  “You’re ignoring my questions,” Scott said.

  “That’s right,” I answered, pulling out Tupperware for the leftovers, thankful I had something to do to keep busy.

  He laughed and started filling the sink, “I wash, you dry. You know where everything goes, okay? But I’m not wearing an apron; a guy has got to have some standards.”

  I couldn’t help myself, imagining Scott James in an apron made me snort. Not a little, lady-like snort, but a full blown out snort. It was halfway between a bark and a sneeze, God how embarrassing.

  “You don’t have to help,” I said as I tied Aunt Jenny’s apron around my waist.

  “No, no, it’s the least I can do after such an outstanding meal. Besides, this way I can occasionally rub against you and pretend like it was an accident.

  I laughed and had to bury my face in his upper arm to stop from completely losing it.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Scott

  Washing dishes with Katie was my new favorite thing. As I handed her a plate our hands touched and our eyes locked onto each other. Her pupils dilated and we could see what was coming. I saw the desire in her glance, the way her body moved. The soft pink glow of her skin, everything told me that she was ready.

  You could cut the sexual tension with a knife, it was thicker than a London fog. Her subtly soft honeysuckle and jasmine scent washed over me and seeped into my soul. The sweet laughter in her voice sent shivers up and down my spine and made me want to think up funny jokes just to hear it. Every soft curve and pristine piece of skin begged to be caressed. A deep ache settled inside of me and burned to be let out.

  As we stood there in silence, she shifted and rested her hip against mine. I forgot what I was doing for a moment and just thought about how she felt. Her soft hip encased in silky dress resting against me. My heart raced and my palms began to sweat even in the dishwater.

  ‘Slow down, Scott,’ I kept telling myself, you’ll scare her away.

  Before I could stop myself I turned and placed my hands on her hips then lifted her onto the countertop.

  Her eyes got as big as saucers and those perfect lips pursed in surprise, making a delectable O shape that had to be kissed. I stepped between her knees and brought my lips to hers.

  Her lips were sweeter than candied wine and warmer than a summer evening. I melted into her and lost myself in the wonder that was Katie.

  After several minutes we parted and rested foreheads against each other. Slowly she ran her hands up my chest to the knot at my collars. Her nimble fingers pulled the tie apart and slowly slipped it from around my neck while staring deep into my eyes.

  “I love you, Katie,” I said as I leaned forward, pushing the corner of her dress aside so that I might nibble at the apex of her throat and shoulder. She moaned and arched into me as her fingernails gently raked my back. My hand dropped to the outside of her firm silky leg and gently, slowly, slipped under the hem of her dress and made its way up her thigh.

  Unbuttoning the top of my shirt she slid her hands inside and began to caress my chest. It was like being touched by an angel, sending shivers throughout my body. Please, I prayed. Don’t screw this up, don’t let her be afraid

  “I want you, Scott James. I have never wanted anything so much in my life,” she said.

  “Are you sure Katie? I don’t want you to feel pressured but if you stop me now I might very well die right here on the kitchen floor.

  She laughed and jumped from the counter. Taking my hand she led me to her bedroom, looking over her shoulder, shooting me a coy smile that drove me to even higher arousal. My mind raced a thousand miles a minute. This was going to happen.

  A soft lamp illuminated the room in an erotic gentle glow. Her bed invited us. A simple twin bed that would force us to lay in each other’s arms throughout the night. She turned to face me. Reaching out she took my other hand and pulled me into the room.

  My body strummed like a guitar string, every part of my being was attuned to this very minute. All I could think about was getting that dress off and my hands roaming over her body. If onl ...

  DING DONG! The damn doorbell sounded as if a gong from hell. Both Katie and I froze trying to fathom what had happened.

  DING DONG! Again, the impatient sound reverberated through us, ruining our moment. “Maybe it’s Aunt Jenny and she’s lost her key. Oh my God, what if….” Katie said. Her hand went to her mouth and fear sparked through her eyes.

  “Calm down, Katie. Maybe it’s a salesman. Your aunt would have called if she was coming back early,” I said, praying to every god I could think of that whoever it was, could be gotten rid of quickly.

  I followed Katie as she approached the door. She turned to tell me something when the doorbell rang again. Whoever they were, they were as impatient as hell. I knew the feeling.

  Huffing in exasperation, Katie threw the door open.

  A pretty woman in her mid-thirties with long blond hair, wearing a tight-knit beige dress that clung to every curve stood at the door looking hesitant and a little afraid.

  Katie reached out and grabbed my hand.

  “Mom?” she said.

  .o0o.

  Katie

  My mother stood in the doorway like a phantom from my nightmares. Where? How? Questions continually tumbled through my mind. Beyond unexpected surprise, this ranked up there with finding Atlantis while looking for a toothpick. My vision started to narrow and I thought I might faint. Instinctively I grabbed Scott’s hand for support. What was she doing here and why now?

  “Aren’t you going to invite me in honey?” she asked

  Every fiber of my being yelled for me to keep her drama away from Scott or he’d run for the hills.

  Prison hadn’t been kind to her. Fine wrinkly lines spread out from the corners of her eyes. Her lips looked smaller, less fluffy. Her neck no longer had the long tight tone it used to. My mom was no longer the young woman I remembered.

  “Who do we have here?” she asked, her eyes slowly traveling up the length of Scott making my hackles rise. I hadn’t known I had hackles until I saw the way my mother looked at Scott.

  “This is Scott James ... My boyfriend,” I said. Mother’s eyebrows rose in surprise as Scott stepped forward to shake her hand. Her eyes focused on his exposed chest where I had unbuttoned his shirt then shifted to my mussed hair and smeared lipstick.

  “I’m impressed,” she said with a weak smile.

  “Nice to meet you, Ms. Rivers,” he said.

  Her small dainty hand looked like a teacup in a mixing bowl as she shook Scott’s hand, holding onto it a little longer than necessary. I don’t know if she knew what she was doing. You’d think that someone who’d seen the bad side of life as much as she had would be beyond flirting, but I honestly think she used it as a weapon to keep others off balance. What she didn’t know was that it was wasted on Scott, he was oblivious.

  “So… Where Is Jennifer?” she asked.

  “Aunt Jenny’s gone for the weekend,” I answered before realizing what I was saying. Mother’s eyebrow shot so far up that I thought for sure that it would merge with her hairline. She looked again at Scott then back to me before shaking her head.

  A panicked expression crossed Scott’s face and he cleared his throat. “Listen, I better be going Katie. Thank you for a wonderful evening. The dinner was great. I’ll make s
ure Mattie gets that recipe from you. Okay?” he said with a smile.

  That’s my Scott, keep everything normal. My emotional rock was abandoning me to my mother. He couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I didn’t blame him, I blamed my mother. She'd ruined all of my plans, again.

  I reached up and kissed him gently caressing his cheek. “Thank you, for everything. Pick me up on Monday for school?”

  He nodded as he leaned down and whispered in my ear “I love you, Katie, hang in there. And I want a do-over. We have unfinished business.”

  I blushed and nodded then hugged him goodbye. Mom watched from the sidelines neither commenting nor showing any kind of curiosity.

  “Nice to meet you, Ms. Rivers,” Scott tossed back to my mom as he put on his jacket before hurrying out the door. My mom looked at him with open admiration. Who could blame her? The man looked powerful and handsome. I’m sure she was wondering what he was doing with me. Heaven knew I wondered the same thing a dozen times a day.

  My mother waited until the door was fully closed before asking me, “You’re on birth control, right? Don’t want you making the same mistake I did.”

  I cringed inside. That’s what I’d always be, “Her Mistake.”

  I shrugged it off and faced her. “It’s no longer your concern, Mom. You sort of lost the right to care when they hauled you off to prison. Remember?”

  She didn’t flinch at my sharp words. It would take a lot more than that to get through her stiff armor, but her eyes widened in surprise. I wasn’t the mousy fifteen-year-old she last saw in the courtroom.

  My mom didn’t know what happened to me in Jimmy’s apartment. But I think she had her suspicions. She was already in jail by the time I escaped and her pimp was in jail with her. She'd long since hocked everything she owned to pay for drugs. No bondsman would give her bail money.

  The last time I saw her, the Judge had banged his gavel formalizing her three to five-year sentence. She'd thrown me a regretful look as they led her away in cuffs. A look that said, ‘Sorry kid, you’re on your own.’

  “God, this place gives me the creeps,” she said with a shudder, dragging me out of my dark memories. She ran a fingertip along the fireplace mantle. “How do you like plain old Nebraska?” she asked with a sneer.

  “I like it fine.” There was no need to go into details about the social purgatory Scott and I were in. In reality, it wasn’t much different from my schools in California.

  “I can imagine. With a boyfriend like that.”

  “Why are you here, mom? I thought you had to stay in the state if you got out on parole?” A sudden thought jumped into my mind. “You didn’t escape or anything did you?”

  Her rich laughter filled the room. It was a laugh I remembered from my early childhood when she’d pretend she was happy.

  “No, no, nothing like that. I’m out on parole. I got special permission to come see you. I have to be back in two days.”

  Why? It’s not like there was a deep abiding love she felt for me. She had barely written while in jail. A birthday note in November and a Christmas letter in December, then nothing for another ten months. I had faithfully written to her every week while I was in foster care. Pretending everything was fine. When I didn’t get any responses I panicked, first thinking she knew and despised me for what happened. I figured out she just didn’t care. My last letter had been a short note to tell her I was moving to Aunt Jenny’s.

  It had occurred to me that my mother had returned after three years of separation and we hadn’t hugged each other. Not for the first time. I wonder if she felt any guilt about what happened.

  “Dad says to say hello, by the way,” I said and was rewarded when her eyes popped and mouth fell open. Something had finally pierced her and I felt good to get a little back of my own.

  “You tracked him down did you? Is he still married to that Diana bitch?” she asked. Her claws came out and for the first time ever I saw a hint of jealousy in my mother.

  “Yes, they are still married, and in fact, their son Danny was Scott’s best friend for years. Funny how life works out sometimes.” The feeling of pure glee at twisting the knife a little did not make me upset. That might have worried me at another time, but not now, not with her.

  She stared off into space for a moment, probably wondering what might have been. She gathered herself and took a deep breath before squaring her shoulders. “It seems California’s jails are overcrowded,” she said. “They’re letting people out left and right.”

  My stomach dropped as I waited for her next words. Where was Scott? I needed Scott.

  “Jimmy got out too,” she said as she stared at me watching for my reaction. “I thought you might want to know.”

  Four words, four little words, and my world ceased to exist as everything went black.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Scott

  I should have known, should have seen it coming. Maybe I could have changed things. Looking back the signs were all there.

  Hey, I never claimed to understand girls. On Monday morning she had Mattie scoot over instead of waiting for her to get out and let Katie into the middle. I chalked it up to her being in a rush.

  The next indication was in first period when she didn’t say a word to me all class. Not even a note slipped under the desk. She sat there biting the corner of her lip and staring off into space. Her books were lined up perfectly with the corner of her desk. She ran her hand along the edge checking the alignment three times. When she pulled out the third handy wipe and opened the package in the open I finally realized she wasn’t doing well. I reached over to caress her shoulder and let her know I was there. She cringed and drew away from me like a skittish colt. When the bell rang she was out the door with a quick wave.

  Lunch was a boring, lonely hell. Mattie told me that Katie had stopped her in the hall and let her know that she wouldn’t be joining us, that she had something to take care of. I cross-examined Mattie in detail. Unfortunately, she couldn’t provide any enlightenment. Her confusion matched mine.

  Catching up to her during sixth period in the library, I came to a screeching halt. Her hair once again hung across her eyes and she wore a bulky sweater. Spring had arrived weeks ago, the library windows were wide open for Christ’s sake. From what I could see, her eyes were red and puffy. She’d been crying. My heart broke as I walked up to her.

  “Are you all right, Katie? How’d it go with your mom?” I asked.

  Her head leaned forward with her chin on her chest as she focused down at her hands with a frozen stare.

  “We can’t see each other anymore,” she said with a cold, emotionless voice.

  My heart stopped then broke into a thousand pieces like a shattered water glass. No warning. No “it’s not you, it’s me” statement. Not even, “We can still be friends.” Nothing. Simply an exclamation that ruined everything in my world.

  I’d been hurt before. I’d dislocated a shoulder in tenth grade. My face had a healthy chunk carved out by a snapped piece of barbed wire. My parents dying in a car wreck. Hell, even catching Danny and Gina had hurt. There are all kinds of different hurts. Nothing like this though. My very soul had been gouged out and left hanging to dry in the wind.

  “What… What do you mean?” I asked, my voice cracking for the first time in three years. Maybe I had misheard her.

  She shook her head and repeated it. “We can’t see each other again.”

  “For a while, or forever?” I choked out, dreading the answer.

  She hesitated then sighed and her shoulders slumped. “Forever,” she said bursting into tears before she turned and ran back to Mrs. Johnson’s office and away from me.

  There comes a time in every guy’s life when he is faced with a truly terrifying situation. We always wonder how we’ll perform. How will we react when a true crisis arrives? I wish to report that I failed miserably. I didn’t chase her into the office, didn’t run after her and take her in my arms and change her mind. No. Not big bad Sc
ott. I stood there in shock, my mouth open, and eyes bugging out like a fish on the beach.

  I’d lost the ability to calmly think. Everything was blank. The anger started to take over. I could feel it building from the bottom of my shoes and rushing to fill every muscle. I wanted to pound and destroy everything around me.

  Yelling, “Aaaargh,” at the top of my lungs I swung my fist and swept her perfectly aligned books off the counter and onto the floor. Feeling absolutely no better, I stormed out of the library before I could do more damage.

  Mattie pestered me all the way home about Katie. Where she was, what had happened, what I had done to ruin things? Finally, I told her to shut up or she could walk home. I didn’t even feel bad about snapping at Mattie. I didn’t’ know if I’d ever feel anything again.

  .o0o.

  Katie

  The deep dark shame-filled every part of my body. Only the pain could fight against it. Scott hurt and I had been the one to cause it.

  Everything about what I had done to him was wrong. I will never forget his face when I told him. Scott didn’t like letting people see inside his feelings. His armor was every bit as strong as my mom’s.

  All day I had hidden from the truth and delayed the inevitable. Putting it off because I couldn’t face the truth. Scott and I couldn’t be together. We’d never consummate our love. For the rest of my life, I’d miss what might have been. I knew that it would eat at my soul until I shriveled up and died.

  First period was hell the next morning. His huge physical presence inches away. His soft smoky aftershave sent a shiver down my spine. Warmth and that feeling of home poured off of him and into my core. We sat next to each other, neither speaking. Fighting hard to make sure our glances did not cross. Like Ghostbuster streams, if our glances crossed, the universe would cease to exist.

  This time, he was the first one out the door. His broad back briefly filled the exit before he disappeared. A sense of loss burned through me. The rest of the day was a blue haze as I walked through the school in a funk.