Too Many Rules

by G. L. Snodgrass

  The library became my safe haven. Every bump or scrape had my eyes shooting to the front door. My heart skipping a beat until I could confirm it wasn’t Scott walking in.

  A part of me wanted him to change my mind. Or, at least try. I was a little hurt that he had given up on me so easily. I know I wasn’t being totally fair. He’d let me walk away. Nothing could have changed my mind. I’d not risk it. It would have been nice if he had tried though.

  The walk home that day was a surreal experience. The azure blue sky and gentle breeze were screaming spring. A time for love and regeneration. Somebody honked at me as they tore out of the school parking lot. I looked up and was surprised to see my brother’s girlfriend give me the finger and turned and laugh with her boyfriend. Danny didn’t look too pleased. He didn’t try to stop her though.

  Great. They hated me when I supported him, now they laughed at me when I cut his heart out. You’d think they’d have something better to do with their lives.

  My mind drifted as I unconsciously put one foot in front of the other. My heart kept screaming at me that I had made a mistake. My mind, however, knew it had to be done.

  I was halfway home when my shoulders began to itch and a sense of dread settled over me. Somebody was watching me. Was Scott hiding somewhere and following me somehow? I almost jumped with joy. He did care. Please help me change my mind I prayed. Maybe he knew of a solution.

  The itchy feeling didn’t last. Maybe I’d imagined the whole thing. I finished the walk home and immediately hit my room. Crawling into bed I tried to push my world away.

  .o0o.

  Scott

  Five days of pain and humiliation. Stomachs weren’t meant to go through this much turmoil. Every time I saw her my heart stopped and fists clenched. Losing her had killed me. Not knowing why sent me to hell.

  I sat in my bedroom lost in thought kicking myself for not taking a thousand pictures of her. Capturing every moment together should have been one of my main goals. No pictures, no emails. Not even a voice mail message. You’d think that in this day and world I’d have tons of things. The internet was useless. She didn’t have Facebook or a twitter account. Nobody I knew had tagged her in any picture anywhere. Even last year’s yearbook didn’t help. It seems she’d been absent that day. Probably on purpose. Ever invisible.

  I picked the sewing needle off my desk. I don’t know where I got it from. Didn’t really know why I was holding it. My mind sort of turned off as I started to trace the letter K into the back of my hand. A fine red line appeared on the area between my thumb and my index knuckle.

  If I’d been all there I’d have thought about Harry Potter and the evil words that had appeared on the back of his hand. This was a simple K. About an inch long. My fingers continued to trace the shape, first pulling the needle down the long stroke then tracing the other two parts.

  Repeating my movement. I didn’t know why I was doing it but I couldn’t stop. The first bit of blood didn’t shock me, the purple-red color beaded into a drop and sat there as if it belonged.

  I scraped with the needle, more blood slowly began to ooze from the wound. Stopping for a moment, I wiped the hand across my jeans and then started carving again. There is absolutely no telling how long I’d have sat there. I might very well have carved on my hand until my thumb fell off.

  Mattie saved me. She knocked on my door to let me know dinner was ready. A simple everyday occurrence. I jumped back into reality. The red K was already starting to scab over.

  I was positive that my hand would heal long before my heart.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Katie

  Nothing in this world was right without Scott in it. I’d thrown away my emotional rock. My grounding path to the earth. Nothing could ever replace it. Twelve days. You’d think that things would ease up after eight days. It didn’t seem to be working that way.

  Aunt Jenny had tried to pull me out of this depression. I’d ignored her and continued to wallow in my pain. My appetite had disappeared, everything tasted bland and unfulfilling. My bedroom walls were crowding me, making me feel as if I was laid out in a coffin.

  Unable to stand it anymore I jumped up and headed for outside. “I’m going for a walk,” I yelled towards Aunt Jenny.

  Warm, muggy air had built up threatening gray clouds in the distance. Tornado weather the locals called it. Ignoring the warning signs, I set off down our street in the general direction of “I don’t care,” and “to hell with it.” With no idea where I walked or why I continued to get away from the house. It must have been an hour or more later when I finally tried to figure out where I’d ended up.

  The neighborhood looked like an older development section. Most of the houses were single story ranches with low chain link fences around the front yards.

  Huge oak trees picketed throughout the area letting you know how long the houses had to have been there. The wide street had cars and pickups parked along the sidewalks and occasionally up into a yard.

  Something bothered me, that itchy pain between my shoulder blades had returned and for the first time, I realized I was in a part of town I didn’t know. I wondered if I’d be able to hear the Tornado alarm way out here. I wondered what I’d do if I did. The people around here were strangers.

  I turned and started for home, walking faster now that I had a destination in mind. The itchy feeling didn’t go away and was becoming a concern. I twisted and turned trying to find out if somebody was following me.

  Every girl knows that awful feeling of being in a strange place, alone, and thinking you were being followed. It squeezes your heart and puts your head on a swivel. At the same time, she desperately doesn’t want to appear frightened or worried. Not advertise her weakness or worse, look like a fool.

  A deep rumble washed over me from behind. My heart skipped a beat and my palms began to sweat. Scott, I’d wanted to see a black and white pick-up truck.

  Instead, a baby blue Cadillac rumbled far down the street and slowly approached. I’d seen the same car a couple of days earlier at Aunt Jenny’s store. It stood out like a debutante at a rodeo.

  I stopped and stared as it got closer. The thing was the size of a boat as is glided towards me. At the last moment, it made a right turn at the intersection I’d crossed. I breathed a sigh of relief and headed home.

  Two blocks later I heard the rumble again as it stroked the itchy spot between my shoulder blades. I glanced over my shoulder and froze. The rumble belonged to a black and white truck. I breathed a sigh of relief only to tense up when I realized who it was and the fact that he was slowing down to stop next to me.

  Scott’s white knuckles gripped his steering wheel. His right hand was wrapped in a white bandage. I gasped when I thought he’d been hurt. My hands ached to rub away the pain. Leaning over he opened the passenger door and said, “Get in Katie; it’s getting ready to pour.”

  My heart refused to beat, my feet refused to move, and my stomach refused to stop churning. This was a turning point in my life; I knew it deep down in my core. If I got into that truck with Scott I might lose my will. His handsome, adorable face called to me. I wanted those giant arms wrapped around me holding me, keeping me safe. I missed everything about him, his laugh, his curiosity, and his strength.

  Without conscious thought I stepped forward and climbed in, making sure to stay as far away as possible. I didn’t want him thinking that things had changed.

  “We need to talk,” he said while he put the vehicle into gear and started up the street. “We’ve got to end this thing in a way that makes some kind of sense.”

  My heart broke again when I saw the painful expression flash across his eyes. He looked so lost, the confusion must be killing him. I couldn’t do this anymore; he had to know why so he could move on. Maybe, if he moved on, I could also.

  Deep down I knew it’d never happen, but I could hope. Scott always gave me hope.

  “Okay Scott, let’s go somewhere we can talk and I’ll tell you what happene
d and why we can’t be together.”

  His shoulders slumped as he fought to control his breathing. “Thanks,” he said then thought for a moment. “I don’t want to go to the bluffs, not in this weather, we’d be way too exposed,” he said before making a U-turn right there.

  “I know where,” he said and was quiet until we pulled into Jack’s convenient store and into the very parking spot where I’d told him all about my mother going to jail for prostitution.

  For a moment a prickly silence fell over us.

  “I’ve got to know Katie, it’s eating me up inside. What happened?” he asked while continuing to stare out his front window, both hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly I was worried he’d break it in two. His eyes glistened and his breaths were coming in rapid short bursts as if he’d run a race.

  My God he hurt. I could feel the pain rippling off him. What had I done? Hanging my head in defeat I tuned in my seat and said. “It’s not you Scott, it was never about you.”

  He snorted, “Okay then. What? Why do this? Everything was perfect the other night. Did you feel like I pressured you? Too much, too fast? What?”

  My chin dropped to my chest and my hair fell into my eyes. I desperately wanted to go somewhere else and hide, preferably forever. “My mother came back the other night.”

  He silently sat there waiting for the rest. “Yeah, so? I was there, remember? In fact, we were minutes away from making unforgettable love when she interrupted us. Believe me, I know she showed up. What’s that got to do with us?”

  I shook my head as a big juicy tear spilled over and started to run down my cheek. He immediately reached for his back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to me. I looked down at that Cobalt blue embroidered S and burst into a full blown crying fit.

  Through muffled sobs, I said, “She let me know that Jimmy had been let out also. It seems that the jails are too full in California.”

  Again, he was silent. I glanced at him through watery eyes and from beneath my bangs. His furrowed brow and confused eyes let me know that he didn’t get it. Sighing in exasperation, I said, “Don’t you see? He’s going to come after me. I know he is.”

  Scott jumped as if I had punched him. “Katie, I’ll protect you. Do you really think I’d let anything happen to you? Do you think so little of me that you’d think that?” His voice rose in surprise and I thought it would crack. “I’d die before I’d let anything happen to you, you have to know that.”

  “No, No, it’s not like that,” I said as I blew my nose into his handkerchief. I’d have to wash it again before I gave it back. Maybe a dinner …. ‘No Katie, don’t get your hopes up,’ I told myself.

  “If his being out of jail is what’s bothering you, I can fix that,” he said with a smile. “I’ll kill him and your problems are solved. See, that was easy.”

  “Scott, be serious.”

  “Believe me, I’m serious. There is nothing I want to do more than end that miserable skunk’s life. Forever. Preferably in a painfully slow way.

  “You don’t get it.”

  “No. I don’t get it, tell me,” he said.

  “If he ever found out about you and how I feel about you he could use that. He could make me do it all again.” My face fell into my hands and my shoulders shook with the sobs.

  Scott didn’t move from his seat. Instead, he reached and slowly rubbed my back. I think he expected me to flinch away.

  “I don’t know if you’ve noticed Katie, I’m not exactly like other guys. He wouldn’t have much of an easy time beating me.”

  “It doesn’t matter, all he’d have to do would be to threaten me with hurting you. You don’t know him. This isn’t some high school kid. He’s a bad man and I know he’s coming after me.” I looked into his eyes. “It would be worse than dying if he did something to you. I can’t, won’t let that happen.”

  “So you’re willing to ruin my life, ruin us! To protect me from some imaginary boogeyman.”

  “He’s not imaginary, He’s real. You weren’t there. You didn’t go through it. I won’t do it again,” I whimpered through sobs.

  “Jesus Katie, I’m sorry. I know he’s real, what happened to you should never be allowed to happen to anyone. I’d do anything to make it as if it never happened, but I can’t. What I can do is make sure it doesn’t destroy the rest of your life.”

  “Exactly,” I said. “That’s why we have to be apart. Don’t you see, it’s the only way?”

  He hung his head and shook it from side to side. “What am I going to do with you?” he mumbled to himself.

  .o0o.

  Scott

  Katie wiped her eyes with my handkerchief. What a mess. Pure terror filled her eyes. Why couldn’t she see? It made my insides hurt to think that she didn’t trust me. I know she’d been messed up by the attack. The fact that she functioned and could make it through life made me admire her every day. That didn’t mean she could give up on us like this.

  The handkerchief looked like it was sopping wet as she turned it around in her hands trying to find a dry spot. Giving up she blew her nose again then wiped her eyes on her shoulder.

  “Hold on a second, I’ll be right back,” I said. “Promise me you’ll stay right here.”

  Katie looked up with red watery eyes, her eyebrows raised in question then nodded her acceptance.

  Opening my door, I made sure to remove the keys. It wasn’t likely she’d take off on me, but I wasn’t taking any chances.

  The sky hadn’t changed much. The dark clouds hugged the horizon and the muggy air made it feel like you were walking through a swimming pool. It surprised me to realize we’d only been here for minutes. It felt like hours.

  “Tissues?” I asked the clerk. I grabbed a couple of cokes and took them and the tissues to the counter. A motion outside caught my eye. A baby blue Cadillac the size of a small house had pulled to stop in front of my truck. What the …. The guy had the whole friggin’ parking lot ... A bald guy with enough tattoos to cover a naked sheep stepped out of the beast.

  ‘Most definitely not a Nebraska farmer,’ I thought. My stomach dropped when I realized who it might be.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Scott

  I stood there with my wallet in my hand and my mouth open. This couldn’t be happening. The guy looked to be in his early thirties and appeared to be pretty well built. A thick neck, wide shoulders and big arms. Not an easy customer I thought as I left my stuff on the counter and headed out the door.

  “Hey,” I yelled. He didn’t look back. Instead, he walked to the passenger side door and yanked it open, reaching in for Katie. My world instantly turned red, all I could see was this guy. All I could think about was that this was the man who had hurt Katie.

  Katie screamed and I could see her kicking at him as she tried to scoot away. A soul-crushing fear swept through me as I sprinted across the parking lot. The guy, Jimmy for sure, heard me coming and stepped away to face me. His beady eyes narrowed.

  Katie was right, they did look like lizard eyes. As I ran towards him I lowered my head for the most important tackle of my life. Jimmy didn’t react like he was supposed to. Instead of bracing himself, he stepped into my charge and threw a punch that landed against the side of my head like a sledgehammer hitting an anvil. An inch forward and it would have shattered my cheekbone into fifty-one pieces.

  The punch staggered me. Stopping me in my tracks. I threw my arm out to catch the hood of my truck and stop myself from falling to the ground. Oh, my God, this was for real.

  I tried to clear away the stars and stop the ringing by shaking my head back and forth.

  Jimmy had turned back towards Katie when he caught the fact that I hadn’t gone down. A brief worried look crossed his slummy little face. He’d thrown his best punch, caught me square, and I hadn’t gone down. I could tell he was surprised as he forgot about Katie and focused on me.

  Like a magician, he produced a knife and swept it towards me with a backhand swipe. I
sucked my stomach in and introduced it to my backbone while I jumped back. I felt the knife catch my shirt and heard a faint swish as it parted the cloth.

  A warm wet feeling sprang out on my stomach and I realized the knife had cut me. I didn’t have any idea how bad it might be. At least my intestines weren’t hanging out, not yet. For the first time in my life, a feeling of uncontrolled terror washed through me. I realized if I lost, this man would take Katie. I’d be dead, but he’d have Katie.

  The man was fast. He followed the knife swipe with a left jab towards my right eye. I stepped inside the punch and blocked it to the side while throwing a punch of my own to his solar plexus. He grunted as my fist landed.

  This fight wasn’t like the movies where we stood back and swung at each other with fake punching sound effects. This wasn’t some high school boyhood tussle. This was a prison brawl to the death. Primeval, live or die, kill or be killed.

  It would be over fast, I had size and strength. He had speed and the knife.

  Jimmy stepped back for a moment. He knew what this had become. A small smile tweaked his lips. This was not the first time he’d been in this situation and he probably felt the odds were in his favor. What he didn’t know was that I was willing to die to make sure he didn’t get to her. Just as long as I got to take him with me.

  My fingers clenched and unclenched into fists as I imagined my fingers around his throat. I stepped in again, bent low, as we slowly circled.

  He lunged and I caught his knife arm with inches to spare. The man continued to push, trying to drive it into my chest. Gripping his wrist with both hands, now I shifted and pulled with every ounce of strength I ever had.

  His eyes popped open to the size of billiard balls as he realized what I was doing. Using his momentum I pulled his wrist into the truck and watched the twinkle of shiny metal as the knife flew into the air before skidding across the parking lot.

  Now we were more even.

  He turned and charged before I could recover. His head caught me in the chest. He quickly lifted it to catch me under the chin while he slipped a heel behind me to trip me to the ground. The asphalt dug into my shoulders as I slid across the asphalt.