Reclaiming Lily

by Patti Lacy

  “I had asked that you stop by after your rounds.” Dr. Duncan’s Adam’s apple bobbed. Though he spoke with his usual calm, there was no trace of his customary self-deprecating humor. Kai swallowed. He meant business.

  “Please.” Kai hurried to the chair in front of her desk that she’d filled with file folders and moved the folders to a cabinet. “Won’t you sit down?”

  “They faxed your results.” Ignoring her request, he continued to slap the file against his leg.

  Kai pretended to ignore him by straightening things on her desk.

  “Did you see them, Kai? I had Pamela run you a copy.” He pointed to her desk. “It should be right there.”

  Kai dug through a stack of papers. Nothing with her name on it . . . as a patient. So where was her file? Pamela had last made a mistake . . . before my tenure here.

  “Maybe she put them in your box.” Dr. Duncan turned toward the door.

  Her renal function panel made an encore appearance . . . in her mind. “Do not bother checking my box. I got a copy at the hospital.” Which I tossed in the trash. She lifted her chin. Met his gaze. “Same story with the sonogram?”

  Nodding, Dr. Duncan raked tapered fingers through wisps of blond hair. “It’s clear, blast it. Crystal clear.”

  Numbly Kai nodded. She had pored through enough RFs to confirm the intuitive dread she’d felt when Deanne took her pressure, when she’d spotted the swelling in her ankles. The tests confirmed what her body had shown. Just as it had been for Mother . . .

  There is something I must tell you, dear sister Kai.

  To this day, Kai remembered the opening sentence of that tissue-thin stationery. Heaven and earth had moved, not only for Kai to receive correspondence from China, but for First Daughter to get Mother to a Beijing clinic, where a diagnosis of kidney disease was given. The letter told of Mother’s swollen limbs, skyrocketing blood pressure. Dozens of times, patients had presented with those symptoms. It is the same with me.

  “I’ve been thinking about your options.”

  “Is it not a bit early for all of this?”

  “It’s late. Best guess is you’re at thirty, forty percent functionality.”

  “They won’t start the transplant procedure till it’s below twenty.”

  “As you well know, that can happen in a week, a year, a decade, though my best guess is, with this rapid onset and few symptoms . . .” He gave her an exasperated look. “You just noticed the swelling, correct?”

  Her jaw tightened. She would not ignore such a thing. “Of course.”

  “I suspect you are on a fast track.” As Dr. Duncan wore out her carpet, sweat beaded his forehead. He bore the pained expression of joggers who had shuffled by her in the Common. Kai battled an insane desire to smile. Her boss was the one who looked ill. Who could imagine that Dr. Kidney himself would care so much for her?

  “Please, Dr. Duncan. Sit down. You are making me nervous.”

  He fixed her with a stare but complied. The file became a drum for his knuckles. “This is a disturbing turn of events, Kai.”

  “But not unexpected.” Though I for one never envisioned it. How silly of me.

  “Have you considered your options? There’s SRN out of Cleveland, RAD in St. Paul—my college buddy works there. Some swear by a clinic in Switzerland—”

  Kai shook her head. “I do not plan to seek treatment elsewhere.”

  Though Dr. Duncan grunted, he slumped in the chair and crossed his legs as if he’d expected her decision. “It might be awkward to be treated in-house, here at MRA.”

  “Why?” Conviction straightened Kai’s spine. This was her clinic. In health . . . and in sickness. “MRA has offered me, a simple Chinese woman, only kindness.” She folded her hands in her lap. “I have trusted MRA with my career. Since you run the practice, Dr. Duncan, I trust it.” Kai realized that her voice was shrill but she did not suppress it. “Why should I not trust both MRA—and you—with my illness?”

  Dr. Duncan seemed to study her from head to toe. Was he looking past her disease? Seeing her in a new way? In any event, it made her nervous. “If you are absolutely sure,” he finally said, “I would like to take your case.”

  “I cannot allow you to waste your valuable time on me.” She said what her parents had taught her to say, but it was a lie. To have an internationally acclaimed doctor ally with her . . . Kai blinked back tears.

  “Ridiculous.” Dr. Duncan waved off her comment. “PKD can’t take one of my best out of commission.”

  “Money from your pocket.” She chuckled, wanting to keep it light, but the euphoria she felt knowing that he would be her doctor was evaporating, leaving a numbness that was giving way to a bone-chilling cold. The awful reality of PKD, day after day after day.

  “You’re set to be seen over at TU.” Dr. Duncan’s eyes gleamed, as if he were advancing on the enemy. Then his shoulders slumped. “But that was for today.”

  “Yes. It was canceled.”

  “Make another one.”

  Kai’s mouth went slack. It was clear where Dr. Duncan was going with this. She began to shake her head, and opened her mouth to protest, just as she had when Gloria and Andrew had spirited Lily away in that dusty van. Again, words failed her.

  “You have other sisters, but they are in China, right?”

  Kai nodded, though her mind silently screamed, No! Not Joy!

  “They have no travel papers. No access to testing, right?” Dr. Duncan leapt to his feet. “Joy’s your best chance. You know that as well as I do.”

  “They . . . the Powells are leaving tomorrow,” spluttered from her mouth.

  “The Powells can come back.”

  Trembling, Kai shook her head. Joy would not be involved!

  Dr. Duncan slammed his fist on her desk. “Why? Tell me that. Why would you miss the chance for a perfect match?”

  Kai envisioned Joy’s face. “I have spent much of my life trying to reclaim what was taken from the Changs, the most precious of which is my sister Joy.”

  “And?” It was the casual shrug of his shoulders that propelled Kai from her chair. She leaned across the desk, her face a mere foot from his.

  “I would have donated both my kidneys if Joy needed them.”

  “But she doesn’t.”

  “She is at risk. I cannot allow—”

  “You cannot allow?” Dr. Duncan’s screech matched hers. “When did you start playing God?”

  “Are you not playing God by deciding that a young girl—”

  “Young girl? She is nearly an adult.”

  “She is seventeen years old. It is not legal.”

  “Seventeen soon becomes eighteen. Legal.”

  “No. I cannot allow it.”

  “Don’t you think Joy should make that decision, with her parents’ help?”

  “Two weeks ago she was arrested.” Kai’s words hissed like steam. “Do you think she has the mental or the emotional acuity to decide such a thing?”

  Dr. Duncan yanked a tissue from the box on her desk and mopped a sweaty red face. He wadded up the tissue, tossed it into the trash. When he missed, two long strides carried him to the tissue, which he slammed home.

  She had never seen him agitated, had never even heard him raise his voice. He was her boss, could technically ask that she leave the practice. She studied her hands instead of his face. What on earth had gotten into her? Into him?

  “This isn’t getting us anywhere.” He picked up the file from her desk.

  Kai sensed his gaze upon her, but she did not meet his eyes. “If ‘anywhere’ means changing my stance on Joy, you are correct.”

  Dr. Duncan gave an exasperated sigh. “Promise me you’ll think about it. She’s here. In Boston.”

  “She must return to Texas. She has schooling issues, police issues—”

  “And you have life-and-death issues.”

  Kai’s blood boiled. Yes, my issues. Not yours, kidney doctor of Massachusetts.

  Dr. Duncan massaged his fore
head, apparently as frustrated with her as she was with him. “It’s only fair that you give Joy a say. How would you feel if she played God, like you are?”

  More talk of God. Yet it is all a mystery. “You have understanding of God?”

  Another sigh came from Dr. Duncan, this one tinged with regret. “God and I are at a stalemate, but I’ve seen enough in the OR to have a healthy fear of Him.”

  Healthy fear. An interesting concept. Kai lifted her chin. “So you neither believe nor disbelieve.”

  “I would like to believe.”

  A cold chill ran along Kai’s spine. Her colleague, now her doctor, had repeated the thing said by her and Joy . . . yesterday. Perhaps Dr. Duncan knows of these miracles that Gloria discussed. That I, too, have experienced . . .

  “Promise me this.” He rapped on her desk. “While we reschedule TU, keep your options open where Joy’s concerned. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?”

  Kai pursed her lips and pretended not to listen, yet Dr. Duncan’s words rang true. To hide such an opportunity from Joy might crush her hope. Her . . . joy.

  Dr. Duncan nodded curtly, picked up the file—her file—and left, closing the door behind him. It was only then that Kai laid down her head and began to cry. For the decision she must make, for the China Chang sisters, whose chances for developing PKD had risen; finally, for herself. Though she hated each selfish tear, a fear that she couldn’t shake settled into her soul. She had no medical expertise, no experience, to eradicate it.

  Sounds of MRA business-as-usual seeped under the door, yet Kai ignored them in her urge to talk to the God she did not understand. “I do not know how to communicate. I do know that I need help. Please continue to smile on the life of my dear Lily.” Would the Christian God mind if she used Fourth Sister’s given name when they talked? “Please be with Gloria. Andrew.” Tears clogged Kai’s mouth and nose, yet if this God was as compassionate as others said, surely He would not mind tears. “Please protect Ling and Mei from PKD.”

  As she wiped her eyes, she remembered the way Cheryl and Andrew and the Powells finished their prayers. “Amen.”

  24

  It’s so hard to hurry up and wait. Gloria, Andrew, and Joy sat in leather club chairs arranged before historical harbor prints hanging on a wall painted cool blue. A sailboat model rested on a massive oak desk. Built-in bookcases were filled with everything from classics to anatomy texts. Stirring music poured from hidden speakers. The usual diplomas, announcing Dr. David Cabot’s qualifications, hung near the door.

  Andrew settled into his chair and sighed contentedly. If he was worried about Joy’s heart, he didn’t show it.

  “Wonder what the delay is.”

  Gloria squeezed Andrew’s hand, glad he’d filled silence with small talk. As always, Andrew intuited her thoughts. “Even us VIPs have to wait.”

  Joy smacked grape gum. “That’s not the point! They got us in for my tests on, like, a few hours’ notice.” A purple bubble burst. “Y’all wouldn’t believe their schedule!” Joy sucked gum into her mouth. “Kai visits Mass Gen twice a day. Last night she even prayed with her patients.”

  Lightning bolts shot up Gloria’s arms. She opened her mouth to ask questions, but Joy had gone off on a tangent about a boy who’d handed her his Walkman. A boy . . .

  “Was his name Johnny?” burst out of Gloria.

  Another bubble popped. “How did you know?”

  “I prayed for him yesterday at lunch.”

  “Hmm.” It was classic Joy, scrutinizing her . . . and her motives. “That’s cool.”

  Suddenly prayer’s cool? Gloria couldn’t help but remember pouty Joy, makeup coarsening her features, filthy words spewing from her mouth at the mention of church. Though we’re at the doctor’s, waiting for more results, I’m glad we’ve gone through this.

  Gloria and Joy traded smiles. God used Kai to change us. Perhaps God will use us to change Kai.

  A man with freckled skin and a reddish-brown mop of hair entered the room. He had a lanky build, like Dr. Duncan, Kai’s associate. Handsome too.

  “Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Powell. I’m David Cabot.” He shook hands with Andrew, nodded at Gloria. “Joy, nice to see you again. Sorry to keep you guys waiting.”

  “Are you kidding?” Andrew drawled in his easy way. “They even offered us tea.”

  “Glad to hear it.” Dr. Cabot smoothed his East Coast accent with soft-toned gentility, then pulled a chair from near the window and moved it next to Andrew’s seat. He handed a file to Gloria before he sat down. “Here’s Joy’s original file. MRA said it was yours.” An easy smile lit up a chiseled face. “It sure helped me get an overview.”

  “Kai had me bring it. She’s been amazing.”

  The fine cheekbones hollowed, as if her words had pained him. Was it her imagination, or did his mouth droop as well? Gloria studied him curiously as he sat down, paper in hand. Perhaps Kai and this doctor had had a run-in. Gloria tapped her shoe. Waiting had revved her already hyperactive imagination.

  Dr. Cabot yanked reading glasses from his coat pocket and jammed them haphazardly onto his nose, giving him a lopsided look. A smile replaced his dazed expression. “Well, young lady. Your blood work came back normal. Ditto the stress test and echocardiogram.” He arched his shoulders and leaned close, like he was sharing a good secret. “I went through Dr. Carlson’s file and noted a fluctuation in your pressures.” The paper was thrust at Joy, who snatched it up as if it were a treasure map.

  “As you guys know, this morning her BP was close to normal.” Now Dr. Cabot addressed them all. “With no presenting symptoms, I’m not ready to do a heart cath.” The file shut. “Let’s monitor things. Wait it out. My guess? Joy has a healthy, normal heart.”

  Gloria felt her body sag in relief. “Oh, God,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

  “Praise the Lord!” came from Andrew. “Isn’t that wonderful?”

  Dr. Cabot nodded. “All glory to Him.”

  Andrew’s face glowed, as it always did when God connected him with Christian brothers in unexpected venues.

  Gloria glanced at Joy, who was still poring over her test results, and decided to risk her daughter’s usual reaction. “So you are a believer?”

  “Yes.” A pensive look captured gray-blue eyes. “I accepted Christ while at Harvard.”

  Joy’s head jerked as if she had been slapped. Her eyes blazed with curiosity and narrowed, surely calibrating and filing this new data. “How do you explain contradictions between science and faith?” Her leg bounced wildly, though her usual eye rolls and snorts had been left at home.

  Gloria gulped air. God was at work in Joy, just like Kai.

  A gentle smile made Dr. Cabot killer handsome. “Before I believed, God spoke to me through the complexities of the creatures I dissected in biology labs.” He chuckled in a self-deprecating way. “I know, I know. It sounds sick.”

  “No!” Joy cried, and then slumped in her chair. “I mean, I get it.”

  “So you’re a science geek too!”

  “Yeah . . . kinda.” Joy shrugged, as if disinterested. The gleam in her eyes said otherwise.

  “It’s not just science where He speaks to me. I hear His rhythms in etudes, nocturnes . . . even jazz.” Dr. Cabot drummed his knee. “As to reconciling science and faith, I leave that to Him. Who can fathom His complexities? Yet I trust Him with them . . . and with my life.”

  “How can a loving God allow suffering? Stuff y’all deal with every day?” Yearning to know arched Joy’s back, tremored her mouth.

  Gloria and Andrew exchanged glances. Joy had sat through at least a dozen sermons on this very topic.

  Dr. Cabot laced his fingers and rested them on his knee. “In this world you will have trouble.” The Yankee voice boomed strong. “It is the path man chose, the path God allowed. It is a mystery, Joy. I understand your questions. But don’t let questions blind you to God’s goodness and mercy. New with every patient who walks in here. New with every
experimental drug. New with discoveries on horizons we never imagined.”

  Joy sat transfixed, as if she were hearing the words for the first time. Perhaps her heart had been opened to hear for the first time.

  A pager attached to Dr. Cabot’s belt beeped. After studying it, he got to his feet. “Thanks for the chance to see your daughter.” He shook hands with Andrew and Gloria, stepped close to Joy, and shook her hand. “You’re a carbon copy of Kai.”

  Joy beamed and then asked, “You know her?”

  Did that jaw again tighten? “Yes” came out husky. “Tell her I said hello, okay?” A tic worked in his cheek.

  He knows Kai. Gloria continued to study the doctor’s face and reconsidered the motive behind their VIP treatment today. Are they friends? More than friends?

  “Keep digging . . . into lab manuals and the Bible. God can use you, Joy.”

  Though Joy didn’t nod, a smile crept to the corners of her mouth.

  They left the L&A offices and sailed, carefree, into a lovely spring day. Andrew pulled her close, Joy moseyed ahead. As pedestrians veered about them on the busy Boston street, questions flitted though Gloria’s mind. How had Dr. Cabot known that Kai and Joy were sisters? Maybe it was in the referral. Still, something told Gloria those two had more in common than medicine.

  It has been a day to forever remember . . . and long to forget. As Kai prepared to leave the office, her cell phone rang. Sure that it was the Powells, confirming dinner plans, she dug in her handbag, shuffled files on her desk, and finally tracked the ring to her lab-coat pocket. Breathless, she grabbed it and flipped the cover. “Hello. Hello?”

  “Kai.” The voice of heart doctor David sent her heart into crazy rhythms. “Kai?”

  It is about Joy. Breathing raggedly, Kai backtracked to her chair, all the while listening to the lovely voice saying her name. If ever I needed a heart doctor, it is now.

  “Yes, David.”

  “Are you all right?”