Dream Kiss (Sweet N' Sour Kisses

by Cindy M. Hogan

  “That sounds good to me. It will be fun to finally get to know him.” She smiled.

  I did, too. I hated fighting with her. And she was right, we had been fighting a lot lately. I didn’t exactly know why.

  I was a bit cranky with my swim students that day. I tried not to be, but all I could think about was getting to Logan. He was lucky. No job and no responsibilities. He could stay up as long as he wanted and sleep until noon. It probably would have bothered me if I didn’t have work. I’d have wanted him up bright and early to spend every waking moment with me.

  I sailed into the house after the last lesson and showered as fast as I could. After getting ready in a flash, I took off for Logan’s house. He was waiting for me on his steps, and he stood up to greet me. We made our way to their two-person swing and made out. When we came up for air, he said, “Don’t go. Stay here with me.” He kissed my cheek.

  “I wish I could, but I can’t.” I kissed his forehead.

  “I’m going to miss you so much.” He kissed my nose.

  “I’ll miss you more.” I kissed his chin.

  “That’s impossible.” His lips met mine, and we kissed until his mom called us in for dinner. All I could think about was getting back to kissing him and wishing he could go with me to Florida.

  “Tomorrow’s the day, huh?” his mom asked.

  “Yep,” I said, letting my head drop down to show her how upset I was about going.

  “Surely you aren’t sad about vacationing in Florida?”

  “Nah. I just don’t know how I’ll handle being away form Logan and you guys for so long.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be so busy, you won’t have any time to think about us, let alone be sad about us. On the other hand, we have a right to be upset. How dare you head to South Beach without us?”

  We ate the fried chicken dinner, and then we all helped with the dishes before the two of us headed out to play miniature golf and bat some balls.

  “Let me help you with that,” Logan said, his voice husky and warm on my neck. He kissed my neck gently, and his warm arms wrapped around me. Holding my hands, he helped me putt. The ball went in.

  “You have the touch, my love.”

  “Indeed I do.”

  I turned to face him, and he kissed me. Gentle at first and then more earnestly. I would have forgotten the game, but a group of kids behind us started snickering, pulling us back to reality.

  I giggled, grabbed his hand and we moved onto the next green.

  We pulled up to his house and spent a while making out in his car before going inside to watch a movie. We made out during the movie, too. His parents didn’t even care. My mom would have been all over us. In fact, she would have sent Logan home before allowing it.

  It had been only a few months ago that I had blasted Katherine for the same thing. Now I understood why she thought I was crazy.

  After the movie, we went back to our swing in the yard and talked a while. Once again, we got caught up in a discussion about our future together.

  “What kind of a reception do you want?” I asked.

  “The only thing I really want is to have a movie projector playing some cool old flick on a wall somewhere.”

  “Are you serious? But it would have to be dark.”

  “Man, we could have a glow-in-the-dark reception—totally unique.”

  I smiled, trying to imagine how that would work. “You know, I think that would not only be doable, but so totally fun. We could have a dance floor with glow-in-the-dark stuff and everything. I think you’re onto something there.”

  “Seriously? You’d have a reception like that?”

  “Heck, yeah. I think it would be so fun. We could tell everyone to come in all black, and then we could give them glow-in-the-dark stuff when they came into the building.”

  “What would your parents say?”

  I didn’t answer for a few seconds. “I think they’d love it. Maybe not my dad, but my mom, yeah. And she’d talk my dad into loving it. What about your parents?”

  “I can’t imagine your parents liking it. Not after what you’ve told me about them.”

  I tried to think what I’d told him that would make him think they wouldn’t like it. Had I made them seem like weirdoes? It would be good to bring him over for dinner after the trip. “Nah, they both love a good party. You should have seen what they did for my sixteenth birthday party. It was so—” My phone alarm rang, and I pulled it out of my pocket and turned it off. “Crap. I have to go.”

  I wanted desperately to tell him how much I loved him, but something held me back again. I was afraid of sounding like Riley in his ears. I didn’t think we had a relationship anything like that, but it was still a fear I had—reasonable or not.

  “I know there are things that you want that I can’t give you right now,” Logan said, looking totally vulnerable. “But I still want you to know that I do want to find a way to make it work, because I love you.” His hand rested on my jaw and his eyes watered as he said the words. Fireworks exploded in my gut. I sucked in a quick breath. He had said he loved me.

  With his hand still on my cheek, I moved in for the kiss, taking his face in my hands as I did. “I love you, too.” I said the words into his lips, our eyes locked. The kiss was tender, unhurried, and unbelievably unforgettable.

  I could hardly catch my breath as he walked me to my car. I skipped lightly and leaned into him. A fun weightlessness overtook me.

  At the car, I leaned against the closed door, pulling him to me. “I’m going to miss you so much.” His nose touched mine.

  “At least you’re going on vacation. I’m stuck here doing the same ol’, same ol’ with nothing to take my mind off you.”

  My curfew alarm sounded again. If I didn’t leave right now, I’d be late. “Don’t worry, I’ll force myself to be miserable.” I kissed him and twisted to unlock the car.

  He twisted me back around and hugged me hard, then kissed me like he would never see me again. I was going to be late.

  My dad met me at the door. “You’re late, Brooklyn.”

  “Sorry, Dad. It’s just it was hard saying goodbye to Logan.”

  He huffed. “Weren’t you with him since five?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Don’t let it happen again or you will see significant time loss with this boy. He needs to respect our rules.”

  “Don’t blame it on him, Dad.” I held my chin high and got into a wide stance, glaring at him.

  “If he respected our rules, he would make every effort to get you here on time.” He had a self-satisfied, smug look on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest.

  I didn’t want another lecture from him, so I sighed, said, “Whatever,” under my breath and headed down to my room. He could be such a jerk.

  I thought about texting Logan and telling him what happened with my dad, but then I thought about his comment about my parents. I didn’t want him to think they were total jerks. He’d never want to come for dinner if he thought that. Instead, I rechecked that I had everything I wanted for the trip, then closed my suitcase and went to bed.

  The next morning, I texted him when we got on the plane even though I knew he wouldn’t see it until noon. A small part of me wished he’d see it, that he was somehow waiting for it, but I knew that was wishful thinking. He was dead to the world until noon.

  I loved that my dad worked for the airlines part-time. We got first class almost every time we flew. I sipped my orange juice and unpackaged my blanket, pillow, nice headphones, and care bag and arranged them in my space. I settled back with my book and read until we were in the air, and I could put a movie on.

  After two weeks of playing on the beach, eating out, and shopping, we headed back. I couldn’t wait until Logan saw how tan I was. I never burned, unlike Hannah, who spent half her time on our beach vacations a burnt lobster. While I’d thought of him now and then while in Florida, it hadn’t been as hard a separation as I’d thought it was going to be.
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  I worried a little on the plane back home, wondering why he hadn’t texted me the whole time I was in Florida. But I hadn’t texted him either. I pushed the thoughts away, thinking about his words to me before I left. He loved me, and I loved him. It was all good. I had a blast and came home even more sun-kissed than before.

  Anticipation coursed through me. I was going to see Logan today. I pulled my phone out to text him that we’d landed. When I pulled up his name I saw his last text. Have fun. Love you. That was the last text I got from him the whole time I was there. The first few days it felt weird, but then I figured it was okay. I had been on vacation.

  I decided to hold off on texting him. I would surprise him instead. He knew I was coming home today, but I’d never told him the time, since we hadn’t texted the whole time. I tapped my fingers on the armrests, wishing the plane didn’t have to taxi for so long. I could have let the fact that I had barely thought of him the whole trip bother me, but I chose not to. I imagined myself texting him and what his response could be.

  Hurry over. I’ve missed you. I can’t wait to kiss you.

  Even the thought of it sent luxurious chills down my spine. Why hadn’t I been dying to talk to him, to text him while I was gone? Was that weird? Nah. It didn’t matter, we were meant for each other. I couldn’t get home fast enough. I ran up the gangway and grabbed a drink from a vending machine while waiting for my family to catch up to me. Once in the car, I put my headphones in and listened to a playlist Logan and I had made together. My anticipation grew with each song.

  When we turned onto our street, I was preparing to jump out, get in my car, and drive over to Logan’s house—but it wasn’t to be.

  “Now,” my mom said, turning to look at us, “before the two of you go off with friends or take a nap or whatever, I want your suitcases emptied, the contents put away, and the luggage set out for dad to put up.

  “I’ll just do it later, mom. No biggie.”

  “It is a biggie. I want it done right when we get home. I don’t want the suitcases hanging out for weeks.”

  “They won’t. I promise. I want to go see Logan. I’ll do it when I get home.”

  “Did you hear your mother?” my dad said. “You will clean out your bags before you do anything else.” He gave me a piercing stare through the rear-view mirror. I shrank in my seat and huffed.

  It took me longer than it should have to put my stuff away. I spent a bit too much time daydreaming about my reunion with Logan. I imagined how great the kiss would be and how wonderful his strong arms would feel wrapped around me. At one point, I thought I could smell his cologne on the air. I took some time wrapping the shirt I’d picked up for him and wrote him a quick note. I put my empty suitcase in the hall for my dad to pack away, and after yelling up the stairs that I was going to Logan’s, I headed out.

  I rang the bell and moved to the side so that whoever opened the door wouldn’t know who I was before opening it. I hoped it would be Logan. It would be so fun to surprise him. I set his present on a chair and peeked through the warped glass and could make out a form. It was definitely Logan. I’d know his outline anywhere.

  I bounced on the balls of my feet waiting for the door to open. When he opened the door, I yelled, “Surprise!” and ran into his arms. I hugged him tight, waiting for the infamous tingles to overtake me. They didn’t. In fact, it felt like it took a few seconds too long for his arms to squeeze me tight. And there was something different about the way he held me—awkward and forced. I pulled back to look at his face to see if I could find what was different there. His brown squinty eyes smiled at me, and I pushed away the oddity, convincing myself that everything was fine. He moved in for the kiss, and I knew all was well. Until, that is, our teeth clacked together as our mouths tried to find the familiar rhythm we’d shared only two weeks previous.

  Riley flew through my mind mid-kiss. I remembered how the simple act of him kissing me had changed everything. Those bad feelings I had toward him—and how they had raged. The kiss had triggered it all. Had this trip triggered this in Logan? Did seeing me after my trip make him want to barf? A sick feeling weaseled its way into my gut. What was happening? Nothing. I told myself. It was just awkward because I’d been gone for so long. It would return to normal.

  I pulled him further out onto the porch, and he shut the door behind him. I took the present from the chair and handed it to him.

  “You brought me something?”

  “Of course.” I wished I could tell him I’d thought about getting the perfect present the whole time I was in Florida, but I couldn’t. I’d picked up the present as an afterthought on the last day we were there, at the last minute.

  He slid the ribbon off the box, ignoring the little note I’d made, and pulled the shirt out, handing me the empty box and ribbon.

  “Oh! This is great, Brooke. And you got me my favorite color.” He gave me that perfect smile. “I’m going to put it on right now.” He pulled off the shirt he’d been wearing, exposing his six-pack and gently tanned skin.

  I looked away, biting my lip. He looked too good. When I turned back, he was smoothing the navy blue t-shirt over his body. I grabbed at the ends of the shirt and said, “It fits perfectly.”

  “I have to agree with you. But now I feel bad I didn’t get you anything.”

  “I’m the one who went on vacation, not you.”

  “Well, thank you.” He led me down the steps and through his yard to our swing. We sat, rocking slowly. There was an inch between us. I didn’t put my head on his shoulder. He didn’t lean on me. He didn’t hold my hand. And I most certainly didn’t feel comfortable.

  We’d been together almost every day since that first date. Had he finally had some time to process and didn’t like what he had discovered? What about me? How did I feel? Had it taken being away from him to realize I wasn’t the one for him, nor he for me? Could two weeks make that big of a difference? We’d been talking about getting married for heaven’s sake.

  “What did you do while I was gone?” I decided to force the conversation.

  “Oh, you know,” he said without looking at me. “Sleeping, eating, movies. Same ol’ same ol’…What about you?” His clasped hands lay still in his lap.

  “The beaches there are amazing. The sand is totally white and the water is so warm. We lay out all day and played in the water. They had the coolest shops and restaurants there, too.”

  “Sounds like a ton of fun.” He looked at me for the first time since sitting there and then his gaze fell on some trees on the other side of the yard. A sadness hung in the air between us. Things definitely weren’t the same. I knew it. I thought he knew it too, but I couldn’t bring myself to bring it up right then, not when I’d just gotten back.

  I rambled on about the different stores and the things we ate, all the while a deep, dark hole seemed to open up in my gut. I longed for my old Logan. I wanted to ask him if he’d missed me, but the words got caught in my throat, creating a painful, hard ball. Not only because I was afraid of the answer, but because I couldn’t tell him I’d missed him. I thought about pulling out my phone to show him all the pictures I’d taken, but it seemed like it would take too much effort.

  I curled one of my legs onto the bench to get a good look at him. His soft eyes were closed, his head tilted back slightly, his heels raised from his leather flip flops as he swung us ever so slightly. His face had been freshly shaven and while his hair was mussed up, I could see that it was clean. It had been intentionally tousled. I loved his dark, thick hair and thought about running my fingers through its soft curls. I caught a whiff of soap coming from his lightly tanned skin. I wanted his hand in mine, but the truth wouldn’t let me reach out and take it. This was not meant to be. We were not meant to be.

  His eyes fluttered open, and he looked at me from the corner of his eye. He pressed his lips into a smile.

  “You tired?” I asked, taking courage.

  “Sort of.” He turned to see me face to face. “I’
m glad you’re back.” His face had a serious quality to it I’d never seen or noticed before.

  “Are you?” I almost brought my hand to my lips as if it could somehow take back the words.

  “Yes!” The word came a touch too fast, like it was an automatic answer that took no thought. He made no move to bring me to him.

  Loud voices seeped through the walls of his house. “Is there something wrong?” I nodded toward the house. My heart started to beat faster. Maybe his behavior had nothing to do with me at all. Maybe they were having family problems.

  He took out his phone and said, “Nah. I’m sure it’s just my mom looking for me. Camden is in some fashion show tonight in Salt Lake, and we’re going. She’s all worked up about it. Doesn’t want to be late.” He looked at his phone. “Yeah. I think we’re supposed to leave soon.”

  “A fashion show here? That’s great. He’s always in New York or California or some exotic location.”

  “Yep.” He nodded his head. “This is the first time I’ll get to see him do a really big show.”

  “Are you sure everything’s…good?” I studied the grass in front of us.

  “With my family? Of course.” We stared at each other. His eyes searched mine and mine his.

  His mom’s voice burst out the front door, “Logan—oh, there you are,” she said, catching sight of us. “Brooklyn? Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were here.”

  “Yeah. I just got back.” I stood up.

  “Ah. I’m so glad. If only I’d known,” she gave Logan a sharp look. “I would have gotten you a ticket.”

  “Oh, no big deal,” I said, wondering why Logan hadn’t insisted his mom get me a ticket. I mean, he knew I was coming home today, he just didn’t know the exact time. “I totally understand. I hope you guys have a good time.” I forced levity into my voice.

  She turned to Logan. “Logan, I’m sorry, I know Brooke just got back, but we’ve got to get out of here in five minutes, and you’re not even dressed.”