Dream Kiss (Sweet N' Sour Kisses

by Cindy M. Hogan

  “Fine,” he sighed, stood up and walked toward the door. “I’m coming.” His mom rushed inside.

  He gave me a wide-eyed look and continued toward the door. Then like he’d forgotten something, he stopped, turned, walked over to me and took me into a hug, kissed my cheek, then my forehead, and then my nose. He pulled back and smiled at me, a firm, resolute smile showing no teeth. He kissed me gently, pulled back and winked at me before heading for the door. He didn’t turn to wave or say goodbye or anything. He simply disappeared into the house.

  I walked as slowly as a snail to my car. I stared at the house as I opened the door, a bit dumbfounded. I sat hard into the driver’s seat, turned the car on, and somehow ended up at home.

  I didn’t say a word to my family and just went straight down to my room. A strange calmness enveloped me. I felt nothing. No sadness. No happiness. It was like I was floating in the air. No pain. No feeling. I put a Nickolas Sparks movie in, hoping that it could force me to feel something. I wanted to be sad, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t understand what was going on. Why didn’t I feel devastated? Two weeks ago he was the one. I couldn’t even make myself cry during the movie. I sort of felt like stone.

  I looked on the Internet for the fashion show, and it looked like it wouldn’t be over until about midnight. I stayed up.

  Is the show over?

  There was no response for a while, and I worried he wouldn’t respond. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to sleep without talking to him. Then he did respond.

  On our way home.

  For a moment, I questioned if I should go forward with my questions, but the stone-cold feeling that had gripped me wouldn’t let me not. This could be it. The true answer about if he was right for me or not.

  So, that was weird tonight. I ached, holding in a scream.

  Did you catch the show online or something?

  No. I mean when I came over to your house earlier. Frustration claimed me.

  Oh.

  When he didn’t text anything for a minute or so, I went forward. I wasn’t about to stop yet. Things were awkward. Why?

  I don’t know.

  Is there something going on that I need to know about?

  No. Nothing. What about you?

  No. Nothing. I lay back hard onto my back. You didn’t meet anyone while I was gone. I mean, you’re not seeing anyone else?

  No. We probably should have this conversation in person, don’t you think?

  He didn’t elaborate and that bothered me. Do you not feel the same way about me?

  I think it’s time for you to sneak out again. I’ll text you when I get there.

  I groaned. Then I paced my room. He must not feel the same way anymore. About twenty minutes later I got a text. He was just outside.

  I went out the front door again and walked to his car, a very different feeling slamming into me as I went than the first time I’d snuck out. There was no happy anticipation this time, only dread-filled questions.

  To my surprise, he was out of the car, leaning on it, all dressed up from the fashion show. He looked great. Tempting as always. As I got close, he opened the door for me. Maybe I was imagining things. His feelings hadn’t changed. He just sensed that I was feeling insecure and wanted me to feel secure by coming to me. But he never opened the door for me. He had once—at our one month anniversary—he was trying really hard to make the night magical. Maybe he was feeling guilty. I just didn’t know.

  I headed straight for the opening, not wanting to make things more awkward than they needed to be, but he stepped in front of me and pulled me into a hug. I admit it, I melted into it. Then I freaked out a bit. Something was off. I slipped away from him and took a seat. He shut my door and then climbed in the driver’s side and pulled away.

  We stopped at Layton City Park and started walking along the windy sidewalk near the duck pond. He took my hand in his and led me to a bench looking over the water. The reflection of the moon on the water helped calm me. I followed his cue and turned toward him, putting my knee up on the bench. I’d forgotten the question.

  “Brooke.” He rubbed his hands over his thighs. He was nervous. “I do feel the same about you. I don’t know what it was. It was weird, though.”

  “I agree. It’s still weird.” My eyes followed his legs to his chest to his face, and I found his eyes. “It feels weird looking at you.” It had slipped out before I could stop it. “I mean—”

  He interrupted me. “It feels weird to me, too. I’m glad it’s not just me.”

  A feeling washed over me at that moment. A feeling I couldn’t deny. I knew he wasn’t the one for me. It was strange to have that sudden knowledge. I sucked in a quick breath, the realization hitting me hard. My eyes darted to his. Had he felt it too?

  Recognition did not shine in his eyes. He just looked sad.

  “Did I do something?”

  “No.” I didn’t know how to tell him what I now knew. Only the occasional sound of ducks or geese entering the water disturbed the silence. I couldn’t hold back any more.

  “Maybe this time away made us see each other differently.”

  “I don’t know. Are you sure I didn’t do anything?”

  Why was he asking me that? “How could you have done anything? We’ve been away from each other for two weeks.”

  He was nodding slowly, like he was thinking hard about something.

  “Don’t you think it’s weird that we only texted each other right after I got there? I mean, I didn’t text you. You didn’t text me…” I let my voice trail off.

  “I know. I thought I wouldn’t be able to stand not seeing you, touching you.” His eyes searched mine. “And then I didn’t even bother to text or call. And the really weird thing is that I didn’t feel guilty about it.” His hand cradled my chin, and I pushed into it.

  I thought about what my mom had said about distance and time, that it told you all you needed to know about a relationship. “Do you think we needed that time apart to realize we really weren’t meant for each other?” I suddenly felt a great respect for my mom.

  He nodded. “I thought when you came back, even though we hadn’t stayed in touch, that everything would be like it had been…I mean, when I saw you at the door, I was excited, but it just wasn’t the same.”

  “I know what you mean.” I took a deep shuddering breath. “Maybe we should just be friends. I mean, I hate to—”

  He stopped me with several fingers over my mouth. “I think you’re right. Friends it is.” He kissed my cheek, stood up, and held his hand out to me. I took it and also stood. And that was that. We made our way back to his car, our hands swinging back and forth between us as we went. It shocked me that he was so willing to let me go and that it was so easy for me to let him go. I felt a loss, but I wasn’t devastated or really sad either. A peace washed over me. Shouldn’t I feel awful?

  He’d been such a big part of my life for two months. It was amazing how easy it was to leave it all behind. It must have been the right decision. Perhaps by being with him I had been giving up what I wanted in the long run for what gave me pleasure at the moment, and Someone was kind enough to help me see it in the least painful way possible. I said a prayer of thanks in my mind.

  Chapter 6

  I grabbed a hot chocolate and put on another Nicholas Sparks movie. I snuggled into my bed and let my thoughts wander as the movie played in the background.

  It was shocking to look back at the last two months of my life with a new perspective. I really had let Logan consume my life at the expense of my friends and family. A wave of shame crashed over me, thinking about how poorly I had treated them. I was not that person. At least I didn’t want to be. I would have to make it right. The trip with my family had reversed much of the relationship problems I’d created with them, and I felt like we not only loved each other again but liked each other too. The vacation had slowly melted the tension away.

  It had been a crazy sophomore year. I had thought that once I turned sixteen, m
y life would be magical and way more simple—that love would come easily. What I had found was that dating, and especially love, was messy and painful. And figuring that out hurt.

  It was summer, my junior year was barreling toward me. I would soon be seventeen. What would a new school year bring? What new lessons would I learn as I continued to date and start a new year? I would make it great. That was all there was to it.

  My thoughts slowed down, and the movie blurred even more in the background of my thoughts as sleep overtook me.

  I woke to the sound of feet racing around above me. I shot up and looked at the clock. Nine am. Hannah was in the Kaysville Parade for her dance studio today. I jumped up, put shorts and a 4th of July T-shirt on, pulled my hair into a messy bun, and grabbed my makeup bag. I met my family at the car. I’d tell them about Logan later. It was Hannah’s day, and I didn’t want to take anything away from her moment.

  We waited with the massive crowds for the parade to start. What was I going to do after the parade? I needed to connect with Ali, Katherine, and Connor and tell them I was sorry for the last two months. I hoped they’d forgive me. I’d been such a jerk. I texted Katherine. Any plans today?

  There was no response until after the parade. I was starting to think she was ignoring me.

  Layton carnival. You?

  Can you forgive a jerky friend?

  Boys do that to us.

  I grinned. She knew what I was going through.

  If you’re done with being jerky, you can meet us at one by the big slide. She added a winky face to the text.

  It’s as easy as that?

  For me it is. Don’t know about Ali. She’s pretty upset with you, and you better not apologize to her over text.

  Is she coming?

  For the fireworks. I’m meeting Zack and Tate. It’s going to be fun. Come.

  All right. I’ll see you there.

  I wouldn’t wait to make up with Ali. As soon as the parade was over, I’d go to her house and beg for her forgiveness.

  It was time to start fresh. I wanted nothing hanging over my head as I welcomed my junior year.

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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Cindy M. Hogan graduated with a BA in education and is inspired by the unpredictable teenagers she teaches. More than anything she loves the time she has with her own teenage daughters and wishes she could freeze them at this fun age. If she's not reading or writing, you'll find her snuggled up with the love of her life watching a great movie or planning their next party. Most of all, she loves to laugh.

  She is the bestselling and award-winning author of the Watched trilogy, a YA suspense series with a dash of romance. She has since branched off to write a mystery, Gravediggers, that won Best YA novel of 2013, a contemporary romance, Sweet and Sour Kisses, and two in a spy series, Adrenaline Rush and Hotwire.

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