Affinity

by Dianne Wilson

  ~*~

  Evazee lay on her side in a bed, the room lit with the same peach glow that had seduced her. She endured the peach because closing her eyes brought images she didn’t want to face: the eyes of her friends filled with confusion, and Peta—a hollow shell doomed to the same fate as Shasta’s healed LightSucker. Peach was better than that. Not that she deserved better.

  With that thought, she closed her eyes and let the accusers come. Each image was a blow that severed her from who she thought she was.

  From what she believed.

  From why she was here.

  There was no hope.

  The only thing she could do for her friends was to go along with whatever Torn asked of her—any resistance on her part would bring his fist down on them and that would be more than she could bear.

  The door swung open, and the girl who brought food came in with a plate in her hands. Her eyes stayed on the floor, but as she bent down to put the plate on the bedside table, she whispered, “Don’t eat it.” Her eyes lifted and caught Eva’s for the first time. She held Eva’s gaze for a fraction of a second, all at once communicating fear and a warning.

  Don’t eat it.

  Eva had no intention of eating anything; her stomach twisted at the thought. As the girl was leaving, something moved into the room. At that exact moment, the light bulb blew. Eva remained on her side, beyond the ability to care.

  The voice in her ear belonged to someone she knew in another life, a life full of faith and hope. It penetrated through the fog as a dull buzz, insistent, demanding. She covered her ears and curled into a ball. Shut up, Kai.

  Kai, from her dreams. Kai, who had been full of darkness, but then surrendered and let LifeLight fill him. She must be dreaming again. A warm hand found the hollow in the base of her throat and a ripple pulsed through her body. Gripping his arm to steady herself, she peeped. Kai was blazing LifeLight. She recoiled from the sight of her hand on his arm—pale as death and criss-crossed with thick veins the colour of night.

  A scream bubbled from her belly and found its way up and out of her mouth, bouncing off the ceiling, the walls, the inside of her skull. The vision broke off, the room suddenly filled with people and peach light. The scream tore from her throat, stopping only to choke out a sob.

  A sharp pain stung her upper arm. Liquid peace burned through her veins. Her lungs turned their attention from screaming to breathing and all became quiet. Darkness fell like a curtain.

  ~*~

  The four sides of the maintenance tunnel seemed to press in closer than before. Sweat ran down Kai’s temples and burned his eyes. It might have been raining above ground, but down here it was sweltering. He looped his arms around his legs, rested his head on his knees. “I’m stumped. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Mm-hmm.” Runt lay on her back a little further down from him, feet propped up high on the side of the tunnel, toes tapping a rhythm on the metal.

  “You were here. What do they do?”

  “The man said it. They break you, LightSuckers and all. Once you’ve lost belief, you get your own darKound.” Her feet never skipped a beat.

  That didn’t bear thinking about. “So you can see them—the LightSuckers, darKounds?”

  “Yip.” She’d folded herself in two and moved to the wall behind her shoulders with her knees touching her nose.

  “And you’ve seen this building change, the walls become dark lava glass?” The words tripped off his lips. Was he actually saying this out loud?

  “I can see this one.” Her left hand flipped out, palm up. “And that one.” Her right hand mirrored the left. “In a blink. Can’t you?”

  “All the time?”

  She nodded, banging her nose on her knees. “Ow. Yes. I couldn’t always—I needed an object from that side, that’s why I collect them. I liked my feather the most.” She patted the leather bag that she always carried next to her skin. “But then I could see without the feather so I gave it to Zee. The feather matched her mark and the necklace she got from her gran. But then the man took it.” She unfolded her body, rocking up to sit with her legs crossed. Thunderclouds brewed in her dark eyes, but then they brightened as though a thought struck her. “I can get it back! You can have it!”

  “No. You are not going near that man!”

  “But it would help.” Her brow furrowed.

  “But you could also get caught. Rescuing one stuck person is enough for me.”

  “With the necklace, you could see enough to unstuck her.”

  “I can see if I want. Maybe I just don’t want to.” Kai scratched his neck. Seeing LightSuckers made his old wounds itch.

  Runt shook her head and peered down her nose at him. “You gotta believe in Him to see. It’s the only way.”

  “Him who?”

  “The kindest person. Ever.”

  “The one with the eye-thing?” Kai motioned back and forth in front of his own with his fingers, then felt foolish and scratched his head.

  Runt held out her hands in delight, as if discovering they had the same favourite song. “You’ve met him?” Light danced on her face. “Do you like him?”

  Kai thought about each time he’d encountered the one they called Tau. Putting what he felt into words was not simple. The word like didn’t cut it. He was intrigued. There was mystery to the man that he couldn’t figure out, but his heart accepted. What he’d said to Runt was true.

  He did believe.

  Why he couldn’t see at will, the way Runt could, was the puzzle.

  “And why—why couldn’t the LightSuckers bite Zee? I’ve been bitten and those things are tough.” A shiver ran through him at the thought, turning his stomach. “But they couldn’t bite her. Why?”

  “She’s filled with LifeLight. It makes them sick. So they wrapped her instead. It’s not as bad as the bites, but it still weighs you down.”

  “Did they do that to you?”

  A funny grin tugged at the corners of her mouth, “They tried.”

  “But?”

  “I never stayed still long enough.”

  Kai barked a laugh, shaking his head.

  Runt looped her arms around her knees, copying him. But her feet tapped constantly. “Well…something is holding you back. You gotta figure out what it is, and then you can rescue Zee.” She shot up and peered out the window. “I’m coming now!”

  “Runt! No!” Kai’s body had stiffened from sitting too long in the cramped space. He uncurled himself, feeling every ache from the beating, but Runt moved too fast. She was already disappearing down the ladder. Kai shuffled after her on his hands and knees. He had to stop her. He’d freed her once from their clutches. He didn’t think he’d get away with it again.

  Voices echoed down the passage.

  Kai crept closer, crouching low. He checked to make sure Runt was hidden. She had tucked herself in a little ball in the shadows behind him. Torn and Elden led a group along the narrow walkway. Kai held his breath as they came closer, arguing in low whispers. As the group passed the opening, Runt slipped out and joined at the rear. Kai reached to grab her and pull her back but he was too slow. He stayed in the shadows with his mind racing.

  Runt worked her way forward through the press of bodies until she was just behind Torn, the offensive one who’d taken her necklace from Zee. The group rounded a corner and disappeared from Kai’s line of sight.

  Blood pounded in Kai’s temples. He crept out of the passage, tip-toeing as fast as he dared to catch up. He reached the corner and flattened himself against the wall. Footsteps echoed close. Should he wait, or should he go?

  He pushed away from the wall as Runt appeared around the corner, grinning. Kai thought he might melt from relief.

  Suddenly, a fist grabbed the back of her shirt, and lifted her high. Torn dangled Runt in the air.

  Runt threw the necklace toward Kai. It bounced and slid, the noise of it lost in the clattering footfall.

  Torn turned Runt around to face him.

  Kai pu
lled back and pressed up against the wall. The necklace lay within reach, but he dare not move.

  Torn’s laugh was slow and cruel. “What have we here? Wait a moment, I know you. You’re the little rat who escaped. Come back for some more? You’re trying to kick me? Bad mistake, sweetheart. Just like coming here today was.”

  Runt didn’t answer but Kai could picture the quiet fury on her face. Careful, Runt. Don’t push this man.

  “Elden, take over. I’ll lock this one up myself. Oh, and check the passage to the maintenance tunnels.”

  ~*~

  Kai snatched up the necklace and ran. He couldn’t get caught now. That would be bad for all of them. He climbed the ladder and crawled as fast as he dared through the tunnels. His shirt sleeve snagged on a loose metal plate, yanking him close enough to gash his arm. Blood ran as he lowered himself down the ladder and back into the darkness of the storage room. Using his hands like a blind man, he felt his way around a tower of crates and hid behind them, close enough to the stairs to hear any movement.

  His mind raced.

  If no one came he could stay here, lie low until he came up with a plan. Easing himself off his feet, he settled on the cement to wait. Darkness set his brain free to run laps, around Zee, Runt, settling on his dilemma—Affinity. He supposedly had enough of it to wallow in, yet he still couldn’t do it.

  His birth mother. It didn’t matter what words she spoke, all of them came at him through a filter of mistrust. How could he trust the woman who’d let him go? And where did he go to unravel that?

  The map. It was a long shot, especially as he didn’t have Runt. Kai got to his feet and retraced his steps, back to his backpack. He got the map out, unrolled it, felt for his music note and pressed his thumb to it. Golden lines lit up, tracing the borders of the map. It showed him nothing he could recognize. It was no use. He needed one of the others to make sense of the map.

  Tau, if you can hear me, I’m clueless. I need you.

  He rested the map on his knees, dug Runt’s necklace out of his pocket, and placed the silvery feather pendant carefully on the printed feather opposite to his mark. Double bright gold shot to the half-image, swirling through it and completing it. A wave rippled through the lines and they popped up off the page into a three-dimensional, glowing image. Kai groaned. There was no mistaking it – it was the cave where he’d first taken refuge from the LightSuckers.

  The cave with empty recesses that messed with his emotions.

  The cave where he’d first met the man who swallowed light for fun.

  28

  Kai pulled back the manhole cover to the storm water drain. It slid open easily and the water splashed deep below. From the drop in water level, he guessed that the rains must have subsided, but it was still wet down there. Kai perched on the edge to think.

  Nothing felt right about leaving the girls here, and yet it seemed clear that he couldn’t help them until he’d figured some stuff out. The water jostled and gurgled below like a living thing. The sound in the dark was that of a beast, a nameless horror waiting to swallow him up.

  The longer he thought about it, the less he wanted to face the storm water drain. Once had been more than enough. Nope. Not gonna happen. He’d tucked his feet in underneath him to stand when he heard a click. Light flooded the room and a door clanged open. Kai had seconds to disappear or be found.

  “Look everywhere. Torn is convinced we have a ghost.” There was no stealth in how they went about looking for him, kicking crates and knocking on walls. If he didn’t know better, he would say they were giving him fair warning.

  As he climbed into the hole, Kai nearly lost his footing. He slipped, hit his head, and fought through stars to drag the cover over the hole above him. With the amount of noise his pursuers were making, he could have tapped out a drum solo on the lid without them noticing.

  The water waiting for him at the bottom of the ladder was cold, and it crept higher with each rung he dropped. With a jolt, his foot connected with the floor, and he shuffled forward with the water level sloshing around his hips. A few seconds of lights above had messed up his night vision and he felt his way along by sliding his feet like an ice skater, exertion burning through his thighs. Pausing every few metres, he listened for sounds of someone behind him. On the fourth pause he heard it: loud scraping echoed from far. They’d found the manhole.

  Swimming would probably be a whole lot quicker.

  He lowered himself into the water, breath coming in short gasps as the cold hit his chest. Pushing off into breaststroke, Kai swam with his head above the water. Not the most efficient way to do the stroke, but putting his head under would probably freeze his brain. Best to avoid that if he had any hope of getting out.

  And getting back.

  At the thought of having to come back through this wet awfulness, somewhere inside him something cried.

  “Shut up already!” His words bounced back at him and he kept swimming.

  Something silvery hooked on his thumb. Runt’s necklace. It had floated out of his pocket and he’d caught it before it sank. He slipped it onto his neck for safe-keeping, tucking it under his shirt. Silver connected to his skin and the world rippled and twisted. Water became mud, metal morphed into snarled roots and soil.

  The digger tunnels. He was back in the digger tunnels.

  ~*~

  Thick globs of mud clung to his hands and knees. Kai hauled himself out the tunnel, sucking in great lung-fuls of air. The moment he’d shifted, the sounds of pursuit from behind had stopped. He didn’t know whether his pursuers were gone, or just the sound of them dampened by the ooze he’d crawled through.

  He kept moving.

  Kai wiped his hands on his pants and tried to orientate himself. The forest around him pressed in close, all glowing in teal and purple, moss pulsing with life. He shut his eyes trying to picture the map he’d drawn in the sand with Bree, flinching at the sting that came with the thought of her. Would that ever go away? Probably not.

  As best as he could remember, heading straight would get him through the trees. Once he’d cleared the forest he could figure out which way to go. He set off walking fast, stopping only to wipe his hands on tufts of moss. The moss gave off a sticky sap that smeared the mud, making it worse.

  “Xha! Whatever.”

  He was doing his best to ignore his muddy hands, when a delightful thought occurred to him—he was still seeing colour in everything around him, just the way he did when he’d walked here with Zee. So many bad choices and wrong decisions. He’d even cost Bree her life and yet the light inside hadn’t left him. His hands were dirty, but his insides were still clean. How was that possible?

  Add it to the list of things to ask Tau should he show up again.

  A sickly yellow glow off to the left caught his eye. It was different than the rest of the forest. The strange radiance came from a plant, uprooted and wilting, though ripe with seed. As he knelt beside it, he was mesmerised by its graceful curves. He breathed in its heady perfume. He had to replant it. What a shame it would be for such beautiful seeds to go to waste.

  He dug a hole in the soil and gently lifted the long stem hanging heavy with a cluster of green blossoms. He placed it in the hole, pressed the soil down around it to hold it upright, and looked for water. A faint itch started in his palms. A stone’s throw from the plant, he found a puddle of dark water. Dirty foam collected around the edges. Without a thought, Kai cupped his hands and plunged them in, scooping out some water. Squeezing his fingers together hard, he got most of the water to the plant. A dozen trips later, he was satisfied that the plant wouldn’t go thirsty.

  By the time Kai reached the cave, the itch had spread along his fingers. He hung back just inside the tree line, listening for LightSuckers. In theory he couldn’t get bitten now, but he wasn’t keen to test it. Darkness spilled from the mouth of the cave. He clicked his knuckles, dimmed his light, and started walking.

  Once inside, he took a moment to breathe, to listen. Nothi
ng stirred in the marbled dark. He inched his way forward across the smooth floor, hand trailing along the left wall to guide him. Without a thought, he allowed the light inside himself to brighten in degrees as he went further in. Pure white light shone out of him until it reached the roof of the cave that curved upward into a sharp peak. Light caught on glimmering particles in the rock and set off a run of fiery white sparkles that shot all the way down the long tunnel. It took his breath away.

  Kai scratched his hand and leaned his back against the wall of the cave to think. He was here. Now what?

  Joy shot through him. Kai jumped away from the rock as though he’d stuck his finger in an electric socket. Without realizing, he’d rested against one of those recesses in the wall—the same ones that had stirred his emotions just by glancing at them from a distance the last time he was here.

  He moved on to the next one.

  A wave of panic set his heart pounding. He moved on.

  Deep sadness.

  Over the next three carved-out rectangles, the ache that flowed through him seemed to dull, losing its cutting edge of rawness, but remained a churning riptide below the surface that could cut his legs out from under him.

  He sat down in the middle of the chamber, trying to study the place while avoiding the carved niches. Too many feelings were simply exhausting.

  What was he missing? He nibbled his itchy thumb. The map had shown him this place. What would it show him now that he was here? He dug it out of his bag, unrolling it on the floor in front of him. Knowing he couldn’t see using his mark only, he felt for Runt’s necklace and lifted it, detangling it from his ears where it caught in the process.

  As it fell free from his skin, the floor beneath him morphed to tiles. Cave walls slid away, replaced by ice-white walls, lit at intervals by strategically placed down-lights, each aimed where an empty recess used to be. Now, each one was filled with a framed photograph. How was it possible? This could only be SandSky Gallery. The moon peeped in through a skylight. Night time. So that’s why he was so tired. At least that made sense.