Fighting to Start

by S. L. Ziegler

  The girl he’s married to.

  The girl he’s fathered a child with.

  Nothing between them, my ass.

  I walk out the bathroom, walk out of the party, and walk out on everything.

  Our past is broken, our present is damaged, and our future is gone. It slipped into the air, just like two sparrows in wind.

  How much can we go through before our love isn’t enough anymore?

  Because I think we’re at that point.

  Chapter 28

  Reed

  Keys start working in my lock and my heart fucking skips a beat. I’ve never been so nervous. I look up from my spot on the couch and see Matt walking in with Courtney and Laura behind him. I stand, looking for Hadley, but she’s not with them. Laura comes over and pulls me into the kitchen when Matt and Courtney walk up the stairs to our bedroom.

  “Laura, please tell me where she is. You told me she will cool down and come to me. It’s been forty-eight hours and not a single word.”

  Laura interrupts me by slapping me hard across the face. “Were you ever going to tell her about Krystal? You promised you would before she could find out, and now she thinks it’s way more than it is.”

  I grab her hand and my face falls. “I don’t know… I fucking wanted to, but that wouldn’t have helped her. You didn’t hear how upset she was about our baby. It seemed selfish to tell her, knowing it would fucking destroy her again. I couldn’t do that to her. Not again. Not after what I did before. I swear, if Krystal told her, I will destroy her.”

  “She didn’t tell her. Hadley heard girls talking about it when she went to the bathroom. And your wonderful wife threatened to go to the papers with everything unless you pay. We kept this shit quiet for this long, and if we don’t give in, she doesn’t have anything else to hold on to.”

  “She can fucking take it all. I don’t care about that shit. God, I just need to talk to Hadley.”

  “Don’t you fucking get it, Reed? Hadley is already broken, she’s gone, and I wouldn’t hold your breath about her coming back any time soon—if at all.”

  “Did you tell her I would explain everything to her?” What the fuck did I do?

  “I did, but she was a little too gone to even understand. Reed, you need to do something to clean this Krystal shit up. You need to fix this problem before you try anything with Hadley.”

  I’m about to be fucking be sick. “She using?” I ask, scared to death of the answer.

  “I don’t know really, only that when Matt got to the hotel she’s at, he said she looked rough. He didn’t find anything around, but he knows she would hide it. He gave her some pills to sleep while we get her things. Matt is taking her away from all the mess, probably to their house in Hawaii.”

  Courtney comes in, looking stressed, and Matt only nods at me. “You ladies want to take the bags over to the hotel? I need to talk to Reed alone.”

  Laura looks questionably to me with a raised eyebrow, so I try my best to calm her down. “It’s okay. You girls can go.”

  She squeezes my arm and offers a smile. Then both girls leave and Matt waits until he hears the door close.

  “Listen, I don’t need any fucking excuses. I don’t care. I’m not playing the middleman between you two—she’s my sister and I haven’t been there for her enough, apparently. But I think you deserve to know that I found out shit about Bennett. He and your fuck buddy have been hooking up. It seems like they have been together for some time now. Seems they have something planned, probably how Bennett knew all the shit about you. But I’m working on finding out where he is right now. Hadley needs to get back in the right place in her head. Reed, just give her space for now. Laura was right—you need to get this shit settled first with Krystal before anything else. When you do that, you can come talk to her. But until then, just leave it alone.”

  Matt walks away as I collapse on the ground, realizing that there is no coming back from this. I fucked everything up, thought I was doing the right thing yet again. The most fucked-up thing is that my father was right—I’m a fucking failure.

  I stare at the door, hoping that she will come walking through it, but she doesn’t.

  My phone starts vibrating in my hand, and in a daze, I answer it without looking. “Hello?”

  “Reed?” A very upset-sounding Hadley is on the phone.

  “Babe, where are you at?”

  “Is it true?” I hear her take a deep breath. “That you married that bitch and have a baby?”

  “Hadley, babe…tell me where you are and we can talk about this face-to-face.”

  “Fuck that! Tell me the truth.”

  “Yes…but let me explain first. Please.”

  “Nope, you had your chance. Goodbye, Reed.”

  “Had—”

  She hangs up without another word. I glance at the clock and know there’s only one place I can go in order to clear my head. I pick up my keys and head to the gym.

  Hadley

  Snorting line after line makes my head cloudy, my judgment tainted. I know this now that my high is almost gone, wishing my head was in the right place before I invited Bennett inside my new hotel room. I had to get away from my brother, Courtney—hell, I had to get away from everyone. I swear, each of their looks… I should’ve had balloons and a big piece of cake for the pity party they threw for me. I’m not ready to be sober, to feel anything, or face any of them—any of this shit.

  Bennett happened to be at the hotel bar and had some coke with him. I was so messed up I didn’t even care what he did or said, I just wanted more. I started to come down from my last hit, and wasting time finding more seemed too unappealing. In my eyes, that was a win. He confirmed everything I’d heard in the bathroom and then handed me the rolled up twenty and a bag of coke. I didn’t think about anything, I only needed more to get high, to escape everything.

  But now, sitting here, my body numb but my brain still going a million miles a minute, I know I fucked up again. Bennett was there for me and only me. To get back at me. Bennett strolls over, rubbing his fingers down my body. I try to stop him, but my body won’t move.

  “Oh, little naïve Hadley, did you really think I would want to see you after what your brother and your damn boyfriend did to my company? Oh no, this is all payback, just like I told you I would do if you opened your fucking mouth.”

  I hear a knock and try to yell, but it only comes out as a whisper.

  Bennett backhands me across the face. “You will not speak. Understand? I don’t want to hear anything from you. But it shouldn’t matter, you won’t believe the mutual friend we have now.”

  I hear her voice before I see her and my insides cringe. I want to vomit. “He came to the gym right after she called. I told you he would. He isn’t going to be a problem now…trust me.”

  I hear mumbling and kissing. For a split second, there was nothing till another shock of pain rips across my face.

  “Can you believe he left me for this cracked out junkie?”

  I lift my head as Bennett wraps his arms around Krystal’s waist. “No. I’ve fucked her and you. Trust me, you are my adventurous girl. She only likes it one way, and it’s so boring.”

  Krystal places her fingers under my chin, glaring at me as her fist connects with my stomach. Then she turns to Bennett, and with a smile on her face, she asks, “Can I show her the movie now? Please, Bennett? I really, really want to.”

  “If it makes you happy.” Bennett answers her question, but I can’t seem to rein in my focus enough to understand what they’re talking about. “See, we found each other when you both dicked us over. Figured, an enemy of your enemy is my friend. Guess you can say we have the same way of thinking.”

  That sound. The sound I know too well—Reed fucking. Bennett moves my head, giving me no other choice but to see it. I fight the urge to get sick, try to close my eyes, but it’s no use. Krystal is over me, opening them and forcing me to watch it. The tears run down my face as I see Reed come inside Krystal, him ri
pping off the condom, put on another one, and start fucking the other girl.

  Krystal leans down to my ear. “See that? That’s why he married me, not you. I think this one was our honeymoon. We spent a week in his bed, fucking the whole time. That was just one of the girls I brought in for him. I have more on here if you want to watch it.”

  I don’t know how long I sit here with them shoving needles in my arm. With each hit, I became more and more numb, each time, watching Reed fuck Krystal over and over. At this point, I’m thankful for the drugs they’re injecting me with. Between seeing the man I love do things to girls I never knew he liked, and the constant beatings, I need the drug—whatever it is.

  Krystal left a while ago, but time is so far away from anything I know. The door opens again and I see her come toward Bennett. “Did he pay for the rest of the videos?” he asks her.

  “Yep, he’s so distraught over the thought of Hadley seeing the rest of them that he’s paid everything for us. It’s time to get the ball rolling on all the rest of this shit. The little bitch’s brother has already started looking for her.”

  “Okay, get the stuff and I’ll get her ready.”

  Krystal runs up and hugs Bennett. “I can’t believe it. We’re about to get everything we want.” She kisses him on the cheek and then runs off to only God knows where. I don’t have time to react when the pain from another one of Bennett’s strikes radiates through my head.

  The drug takes over my body the minute he injects me with it. Bennett picks me up like a doll, and left I’m lying near lifeless in the arms of a man that hates me, defenseless. I try my hardest to hang on, to keep my eyes open, but nothing is working. How much more can my body take? Bennett throws me in the bathtub with water and it continues to steadily rise just above my mouth. I try my hardest to stay above, but I can’t. This is the moment I’ll die, and it’ll all be because I wasn’t strong enough to deal with heartache. Reed breaking my heart—this is my last thought before I die.

  Weak. That’s all I am. And weakness is what will kill me.

  Bennett and Krystal start fighting, but their voices are muffled as the water enters my ears.

  Chapter 29

  Reed

  Shes at the Bordeoux Hotel room 411. Saw Krystal coming out of the hotel with someone too. I’m going up there now.

  “Hey, Matt. We gotta go. Bash found her.”

  Matt comes over, ripping the phone out of my hand and reads the text. “I’m going and you’re staying here.”

  “Fuck no. You may be her brother, but I’m going.”

  “Well, come on then, but you better stay the fuck out of my way.”

  I throw my car in park and run into the hotel. I’ve had an uneasy feeling during the entire ride over here. Something isn’t right with Krystal being in the same hotel that Hadley is in. Waiting for the elevator, Matt starts getting jittery. “Dude, chill out. You’re freaking me out.”

  Matt looks up, and for the first time since Hadley couldn’t be found, I see the fear in his eyes. “She told you about the time I found her when she overdosed, right? I have that same damn feeling right now. I pray for your sake that she’s okay, because if she’s not, you’re fucking dead.” Matt turns and focuses on the elevator, and then the door finally opens. Both of us are stone-silent as we rush down the hallway.

  We pass room 405, 407, and then 409. We see room 411 at the same time, and the door is wide open. We enter the room, both trying to get in first—it’s fucking trashed. Syringes and foil are all over the place, and that damn fucking sex tape is playing on the TV. I hear Matt scream for me to call 9-1-1. I pick up my phone and run to the bathroom, stopping still at the sight of Bash doing chest compressions on Hadley.

  “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

  I can’t say anything, all I can do is stare at Hadley, lying there lifeless, and I can’t save her.

  “This is 911 what is your emergency.”

  The voice coming through my phone snaps me out of it. “I’m in room 411 at the Bordeaux Hotel. I think my girlfriend OD’d.”

  “Is she breathing?”

  “I don’t…think so. Someone is doing CPR right now. Just fucking hurry.”

  I kneel down, grasping onto Hadley’s cold hand, squeezing it just like I always do, and hoping she will fucking squeeze it back, but I get nothing. I bend down to whisper in her ear. “Hadley Marie, please wake up. I need you with me, now and forever. You have to stay with me, babe. I love you madly.”

  And still nothing.

  I storm into the hospital, forcing my way through the mess of reporters asking questions.

  “Do you blame yourself for this?”

  “Is this anything to do with the video?”

  “Is it true you are still married?”

  “Reports of drug use were there, where you also using?”

  A hard hand grips my shoulder from behind. Glancing over, I see Kenny and Lance pushing me through the madness toward the ER.

  Five hours later, I hear nothing, not a fucking word. I haven’t left my goddamn seat in case Matt comes out to tell me something. Only silence. I watch people come in and out through the doors but they’re never for me. Lance left because Courtney was freaking out. Kenny keeps walking around, but I stay in this one fucking spot and wait. I press my head against the back wall and close my eyes, praying for the first time in a very long time.

  “Son?” Kenny nods to the entrance and I see William and Mark running in.

  “Hey, Reed. Have you heard anything?” William asks.

  “Nothing.”

  “She’s strong, Dad. She’ll pull through. She has to.” Mark looks bad, too bad for someone that’s kept his distance from his sister his whole life. His usually perfect hair is all over the place and his eyes are bloodshot—I’ve never seen him look like this before.

  And for the first time, I feel pity for someone else. William just lost his wife, Mark just lost his mother, and they’re now faced with losing Hadley as well.

  The ticking of the fucking clock on the wall reminds me how we still don’t know shit. Matt walks out, breathing like he just ran a marathon, and two doctors follow closely behind him. He spots me, walks over, and punches me dead in the nose. I fall over with him on top on me.

  “That’s enough, boys,” William says sternly, stopping Matt immediately with his fist still raised in the air. Mark pulls him off me as Kenny helps me up.

  “You did this, and I’ve had your fucking back from day one. I believed your ass when you said you wouldn’t ever hurt her. You don’t deserve to be here!” Matt screams at me.

  “I said that’s enough. Put this shit aside for one damn minute. I want to know about my baby girl.”

  One of the doctors ushers us through the doors and into a room. That dreadful room you know isn’t good to go into.

  “Mr. Thomas, please have a seat. We have some serious things to discuss with you.”

  I look over at Matt and see tears pool in his eyes.

  “I’m sure you all know Hadley was doing drugs. We just received her toxicology report and it looks like she had heavy levels of oxycodone in her system along with large traces of cocaine. I wanted to let you know that with levels that high, we don’t think it’s about her getting high. It also appears that she has been severely beaten. Her face required some stitches, some ribs were broken, but those should heal over time. What worries me the most is we aren’t sure how long she was under the water. She’s in a coma now, and we will just have to see when or if she wakes up to evaluate the extent of the damage to her brain. The good news is, she does show some great brain activity, so we are hopeful. She just got into a private room and you can see her in a few minutes.”

  “I want to, please.”

  “Like fucking hell you are,” Matt and Mark say in unison

  “Sons, whether you want to believe it or not, Hadley loves him and she needs him now. He may be able to help her.”

  “Dad, do you really believe that shit?” Matt asks.r />
  “I am going in there with him. You boys can wait out here until you both calm down.”

  Mark gets up and whispers something in his ear, and William only nods. Standing up, I follow him into her room.

  “Hadley…please, babe…wake up.” I get off my chair and kiss her on the forehead, just like I know she loves. “Madly.”

  I created this demon inside the woman I love. The hurt, the fucking broken girl lying right here—I caused this. Every single fucking thing that happened is the result of the fuck up I did. I have to find a way to help, to pick her up, and make her whole again.

  Epilogue

  “I bet it’s good to be home, babe.”

  If he only knew this isn’t my home anymore. Living with Reed, here and now, is the last thing I want.

  “Yep, where are Lucy and Loki?” I woke up three weeks ago, still remembering every single thing that happened to me. Every time Reed touches me, I see him touching another girl, Krystal—anyone that’s not me.

  Family, doctors, and Reed talked about sending me to rehab right when I woke up. I didn’t say a word. I nodded and went into the treatment center. I did the bare minimum there and talked as little as possible to everyone that visited, except the police. I told them every sick detail of what Bennett and Krystal did to me. That’s what got me finally released—they knew I didn’t inject myself. Luckily, they were caught trying to pick up the money Reed paid them, so I never have to look over my shoulder. Apparently, Bash had something to do with tracking them and the cash. But paying attention to the people talking around me isn’t something I’ve been doing, so I know nothing else.