Body Heart Soul (Blind Vows #2)

by J. M. Witt

  Will left a few minutes later, confirming he was going to take care of O’s clients for the next few days. When I got in O’s truck I started to grow nauseous knowing where we were headed. He got behind the wheel and took my hand in his. He didn’t need to say anything, just having him there was enough. We headed toward the police station.

  A rape kit was taken at my doctor’s office, though we all knew it wouldn’t show what we needed it to. They also did a urine pregnancy test, which was negative, and an STD test. She drew blood to send in for an HIV test as well as to check for pregnancy. I knew the blood test could catch it sooner than a pee stick would. The detective put an APB out for Saul and got all of O’s information so he’d know where I was. He chastised me for waiting so long, but said he understood. Promising that they’d find Saul, O and I left.

  “You hungry?”

  “Yeah, but can we make something or just pick something up?”

  “Of course.”

  We were having dinner later that weekend with Stacey. I wanted her to meet O and I needed to update her. She didn’t even know the name of the man I now had in my life. We were sitting at a booth in O’Grady’s when I saw her walk in. When she spotted us, she stopped short and stared at O. Oh God, they knew each other? It was written all over both their faces.

  “O? Des? I, what’s going on?” She sat down across from us and looked straight at us.

  “You two know each other?” I looked to O, who seemed uncomfortable and then to Stacey. “Someone better tell me what the hell is going on right now.”

  “Calm down, Des. It’s not what you think.” He tried to pull me closer as I turned to face him in the booth.

  “Not what I think? Because I think you and my cousin know each other in an intimate way.” My envy was sprouting up like a nasty little weed. “If you and she have a history, I don’t think I can do this.”

  Stacey started cracking up as I glowered at her. She was shaking her head as she testified, “Des, I know O, but not like you think. Calm down. My best friend Lucy is married to his brother Heath.”

  She was covering. I looked at O. There was more, but he wasn’t saying anything. Glaring at Stacey I leaned in toward her and spit out, “There’s more. What is it?”

  “Shit.” That came from O. “Listen, Des,” I wasn’t going to like the sound of this, “Stacey and I went on a few dates, nothing more.”

  “When?”

  “That’s not important.”

  “The fuck! Yes it is.”

  “Jesus, Des. Can we talk about this later?”

  I wasn’t sure the extent of their relationship, if you could call it that, but I was heartbroken. Every crazy scenario running through my mind. I knew I needed to calm down, but I also needed to know what I was dealing with.

  I took a deep breath, “I need to know. One of you better spill it.”

  Stacey started talking. “We met up a little over a month ago. Just dinner and drinks. Nothing happened.”

  I believed her, but he’d said a few dates. “You said a few. When was number two?”

  “Last weekend.” My eyes burned into the side of his face and when he finally made eye contact with me, a single tear fell from his eye. “Des…”

  “Did you fuck her?”

  “He tried.” My head jerked toward Stacey. What did she mean ‘he tried’?

  “Jesus, Stacey. I was drunk.”

  “You weren’t that drunk.”

  I started pushing O out of the booth and he wouldn’t budge. I looked at him and growled out, “If you don’t let me out of this booth, I’ll climb over it.”

  “You can’t leave, Des.”

  “I’d leave if I was her, too.”

  “Stacey! You’re not helping.” I turned back to O, “Please, I’ll be back. I just need to go to the bathroom.” He studied my eyes and then got out of the booth. As I walked past him, his fingers brushed mine.

  I was leaning over the sink in the bathroom taking deep breaths. Stacey and I weren’t as close as we’d once been and it wasn’t the first time we’d had disagreements over a man. I was replaying everything over in my head. ‘He tried’ to sleep with her. What the hell did that mean? And on Friday, after I’d dismissed him. A sob broke from my chest. If I’d told him I was in danger, or done something, he wouldn’t have ended up with Stacey last Friday night. He was supposed to be with me.

  “Des, I’m sorry.” I wiped at my face and stared at Stacey. “It shocked the shit out of me to see you two sitting there all chummy. Shit, I don’t know what to say. I’ve been crushing on him for a long time. To see him with you just hit a nerve.”

  I shook my head, “I didn’t know. It’s been so long since we’ve really talked.” I didn’t know what to do. “Saul came back.”

  “What?”

  “Friday night I was supposed to go out with O. When he showed up, I hurt him to get rid of him because Saul was there.”

  “He’s a sick fuck. Are you ok?”

  “I can’t. It was bad. O, Stacey, O and I…”

  She nodded and smiled. “I get it. It’s ok. Why didn’t you tell him about Saul? I mean, I know why you didn’t but...”

  I spewed the words before I even knew what I was saying. “I’m falling in love with him, Stacey. I don’t think I can stop it. There’s something so powerful between us, like nothing I’ve ever felt.”

  “He’s a good guy. I’m a little jealous. But nothing happened between us, not really. Just don’t tell me how amazing he is in bed. I may jump off a cliff. Lord knows he’s hung.”

  I just smiled as I wiped at my drying tears. She didn’t need to know that we hadn’t had sex, yet. It was no one’s business but ours.

  ~ DESiree ~

  ~ Chapter 8 ~

  We finished dinner with Stacey, but she didn’t hang out long. Driving back to O’s place was slightly uncomfortable and I couldn’t take the silence any longer. After Stacey and I had talked in the bathroom, O and I didn’t have a chance to talk so the news of him and Stacey still hung heavy in the air between us.

  “O, we should talk.”

  “Des, I’m so sorry. I was so upset that night. I ran into Stacey and…”

  I squeezed his thigh and reassured him, “O, its ok. We’re good. Stacey told me. I don’t blame you.” He covered my hand with his own. “You had every right to be furious with me that night. You know, I found the flowers in the hallway. No one had bothered to clean them up. You gave them quite the beating. You’ll never know how much I regret what I did.”

  “You didn’t do anything.”

  I leaned in and kissed him. Before it became too heated, I asked him, “Do you dance?”

  “I’ve been known to, but that was before. I think I’m limited to slow dancing now.”

  “I’d love to slow dance with you.”

  “Up with you then.” He walked to the sound bar by his TV and motioned for my phone. “Pick a song or five.”

  I pulled up some songs and handed him the phone. Plugging it in, he walked to the center of the room and held out his hand. I took it and let him pull me close. Broken Ones by Jacquie Lee played. We were both definitely broken, but I was pretty confident that he’d take my broken pieces and make them whole again. I just prayed I could do the same for him, though he seemed much more put together than I was.

  “Fuck, this song is depressing.”

  I squeezed my arm around his waist tighter, “Not really. We’re all broken in some fashion.”

  He pushed me back to look at me, “Des, you’re not broken.”

  “With you I don’t feel broken. I feel like I finally have a chance to be whole again.”

  He placed his forehead on mine, “Me too.”

  “O, please kiss…”

  I didn’t get a chance to finish my request before his lips seized mine. His hands were in my hair as he held my head in place. Slowly, his tongue slid across my lips, causing a tremor to pass through me. Thank the heavens I could still feel that. My hands moved under his shir
t, desperate after all this time to feel his warm skin. My fingers moved over the muscles of his back and I gently dug my nails into his broad shoulders.

  “Des, we should stop this.”

  “Please, O. All I want is to feel you, nothing else.” I took his hand and led him to the bedroom. Kicking my shoes off, I stripped my jeans down my legs as he stared at me.

  “Des?” He was being cautious and I understood. I could see the bulge pushing against his jeans and watched as he adjusted himself. “You’re not making this easy.”

  Beaming, I pulled him closer. I sat down on the bed and moved up, lying in the middle of it. Pulling his shirt off, he dropped it to the floor and crawled next to me. We kissed for a long time, his hands only roaming my face, arms, belly, and legs.

  Without warning or permission, Saul invaded my thoughts. I tried shaking it off. O’s hand finally lingered near my panties and a shiver swept over me and not the good kind. My whole body tensed and I felt him remove his hand from me.

  “Des. Talk to me.”

  My hands immediately covered my face as I tried to hide the tears. He was right, I wasn’t ready. Between broken breaths, I apologized, “I’m sorry. I’m not ready. I thought I was.”

  “Shhh. It’s ok. We’ve both been through our share of trauma. Give it some time. I’m not going anywhere.” I felt him get off the bed and cover me with the blankets. He sat down next to me and pulled my hands from my face. “Look at me.” I did, barely. “You need some rest. I’ll be right next door if you need me.” I nodded and he kissed my forehead.

  I was so embarrassed. He left the room and once the door closed, I curled into the fetal position. I woke a few hours later, shivering. I couldn’t get warm and though I knew I wasn’t ready to sleep with him, I needed him close.

  Climbing out of bed I made my way to the guest room. The door was open and as my eyes adjusted, I saw his large figure sprawled out in the bed, making it look tiny. As I moved toward the bed, I had second thoughts. Waking a soldier with his history probably wasn’t a good idea. I turned to leave when his voice caught me off guard.

  “You need something?”

  Turning back toward the bed, I stuttered, “I, just, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “I wasn’t asleep. I woke the minute you climbed out of bed.”

  Scoffing, “You did not hear me get up.”

  “Yes I did. It’s what I’m trained for.”

  “Sorry.” This was a mistake.

  “What is it, Des?”

  Spit it out! “I was cold, but I can go, do you have more blankets? I’ll let you sleep.” I stood there, waiting for the rejection I was sure would come, though not sure why I thought he’d reject me.

  “Get your ass over here.” He threw back the covers and I gingerly climbed in next to him. I lay down as close to him as I could, my body half hanging off the edge of the bed. “I thought you wanted me to hold you?”

  “Well, you’re not giving me much room.”

  “You’re right, I’m not. You want to be closer to me, you’re going to have to make that move. I’m comfortable and not budging.”

  Sighing, “You’re infuriating.”

  “You like it that way.”

  I rolled to my side and put my head on his shoulder. His warmth immediately surrounded me. “Oh, God. You’re like a furnace.” I moved in closer, draping my free arm over his torso.

  “You’re like an icebox. Christ!”

  “Wait till you feel these.” I slid a foot up his leg and when the coldness reached his thigh, he jumped.

  “You’re not human. No one’s feet are that cold.” Laughing, I pulled them away as his arm came around my back. “Go to sleep, Des.”

  “Good night, O.”

  “Night.”

  The whole next week he either drove me to work or followed me and he was there waiting when I got out. His place was actually a shorter drive to work for me which was nice. I hadn’t felt safer or more loved in my life.

  Every night we’d go to our separate rooms just for me to crawl into bed with him a few hours later. I’d made some emergency appointments with my therapist and was feeling better. There was still no word on Saul. His apartment was empty and he’d stopped showing up to work. I tried not to think about it.

  I climbed into bed feeling more content than I had in a long time. For the first time, O came to me that night, not the other way around. I jumped up at the sound of the door opening and just stared at him.

  Fuck, he was sexy. His bare chest, ripped with muscles, and a smattering of hair. Sleep pants hung low on his hips and I was well aware of the wetness pooling in my panties. He climbed in next to me as I stared down at him.

  “Can I help you?”

  Smirking, he nonchalantly said, “Nope. Just missed my bed. And I feel like there should be no more separate rooms.”

  “You think so?” His eyes jerked toward mine as I laughed.

  “Des?”

  “Yes, O?”

  “I don’t want you to leave.”

  “I have to go home eventually. I can’t stay here forever.”

  “Why not?”

  My eyes drifted to his as I wondered what he was getting at. The truth was I didn’t want to leave either, but I wasn’t this girl was I? I didn’t just move in with someone on a whim. “I told you, I don’t want to live with someone until…”

  “…Until you’re married?” I just nodded in response. “You said it, not me.”

  What the hell was he talking about? He couldn’t possibly mean what I thought he meant. “What?” I started laughing, “You want to get married? You don’t even know me.”

  Sliding closer he started talking nonsense and I believed every word of it. “I know enough. Marry me, Des. I’ll keep you safe. Nothing will ever happen to you again.”

  I was in shock and ecstatic. I was fucking crazy. “O, it’s not funny. Be serious.”

  “I’ve never been more serious in my life. You make me feel things I never thought I’d feel again. I know it’s the same for you, too. Deny it if you dare.”

  “I, fuck. Yes, I feel it too, but it’s so soon. People will think we’re insane.”

  “Fuck them. I am crazy. Crazy for you.” He placed chaste kisses all over my face as I tried to talk myself out of saying yes. “I have something for you.”

  “You do?”

  He sat up and turned on the lamp on the night stand. He opened his hand and lying in the palm of his hand was a diamond ring. “Desiree Greene, will you marry me?”

  “O? It’s for me?”

  “Of course it is.”

  My tear filled eyes looked to his as I decided to follow my heart one more time. “Yes.”

  He beamed as he encouraged me, “Try it on.” I held my finger out as he slid the cushion cut diamond onto my ring finger.

  A tear fell down my cheek. “I love it.” He laid us back down and pulled me to my spot on his chest and ran his hands up and down my back.

  I hadn’t met any of his family, except for Will, or any of his friends. And my parents, getting them here anytime soon would be unlikely given the distance. But, we were adults and I knew we didn’t need their blessing to know how we felt.

  ~ DESiree ~

  ~ Chapter 9 ~

  “O, I know this will sound crazy, but I need to try again. I need to know I can let you…do things to me.”

  “Baby, there’s no rush.”

  “I know, but…Please.” I crawled on top of him and straddled his waist. Looking down on him, his hands resting on the pillow above his head, “Can we try again?”

  His arms moved and stopped when he cupped my face. “I like you on top.” He kissed me and whispered into my mouth, “You’re in control. Use me, baby.”

  His words resonated with me. Maybe being on top and in charge was just what I needed. Removing his hands from my face, I pinned them above his head. Lowering my face, I kissed his chest and made my way up to his neck. We hadn’t done this nearly enough. He could har
dly contain himself as I sucked and nipped on his neck and ears. His hardness grew below me and I pressed into it, hitting just the right spot.

  “Oh, God.”

  “Des, you’re killing me.”

  My hand slid between our bodies as I shifted a little lower and finally held onto what I’d wanted to for so long. His length and girth were both impressive as I swirled his pre-cum around his tip. His hips bucked and he lifted himself to his elbows, watching me stroke him. I released him long enough to push his pants down his thighs and gripped him again.

  He sat up and I avoided his kiss as I watched his face. His cock pulsed in my hands and I was enjoying this more than I thought I would. Burying his head in my neck, he began sucking. I moved closer to him at the same time he pulled me closer.

  “Des, I want to touch you. Please tell me I can.”

  My clit throbbed in response to his words. “Yes. Just, oh, God.”

  “I’ll go slowly.”

  His hand moved over my ass and squeezed, his fingers pushing under the lace fabric. I continued stroking him as his other hand moved under my shirt and found my breast. I cried out louder than I expected and had to assure him it was a good cry when he pulled back.

  “Can I take it off?” He looked at the shirt of his that I’d been sleeping in every night and I nodded.

  His fingers ran up my ribcage as I lifted my arms and pulled them out of the sleeves. Hazel-green eyes met mine as his hand ran over the top of my chest from shoulder to shoulder. I lowered my lips to his and found his cock once again. I moved my hips to press closer to him.

  “Please, O. Touch me.”

  A grunt was his only response as he kissed my neck and I felt the palm of his hand cup me through my panties. I arched into his hand and he moved his fingers against me. Moving lower, the small scrap of fabric barely covered me and he easily pushed it aside. I was still stroking him. He was so close to my entrance, just a slight movement and we could be joined as one, but I didn’t want to let go of him.