If Only We Knew

by Ancelli

  She touched his leg. “I’m sorry for what she did to you.”

  “Why are you sorry? She did those things to me; you didn’t.”

  “You didn’t deserve any of it.” She began to massage his left leg, like she seen the therapist do.

  “That feels wonderful.” He lay back, and she continued to massage him with her good hand. “You’re amazing. Marry me.” She stopped massaging his leg. “You promised me you would marry me.”

  “I said in the future,” she said barely above a whisper.

  “I want to be a family.”

  “We’re already a family.” Shannon looked at Matt and Matthew. Everything I didn’t know I wanted, and all that I want is right here. “I think we should move in together first.” He pulled her closer.

  “If you want us to move in together first, I guess I’m okay with that.” He leaned in, kissing her neck.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Six months later after his divorce.

  Matt smiled, looking at Matthew sleeping in his crib. “He’s very energetic for eighteen months.”

  “Wait until he turns two. Have you heard of the terrible twos?” Shannon laughed as she walked out of Matthew’s room and entered theirs.

  Matt kissed Matthew, turning off his light, and following her to their room. “What do you mean? It doesn’t get better.”

  Shannon went over to the bed and jumped in. “I spoke to my mom. She wants me to tell you thank you for attending church this morning.”

  “I enjoyed it very much, even if your father ignored us. I thought Christians were supposed to forgive and not judge others.”

  “You are right, but they are also humans. My dad is still mad at me for having a baby, and now it’s worse because I shacked up with you.”

  Matt walked over to his side of the bed and got in. “Shannon, does he know I wanted to get married and you were the one who said we should move in together?”

  “Matt, it doesn’t matter, I’m a grown-ass woman who does what she wants without asking permission from my daddy. If he doesn’t approve of you, that’s his business, because I do.” She cupped his face and gently kissed him.

  “Don’t try to sweet-talk me,” he said between kisses.

  “I’m not. I’m trying to make sweet love to you.” She smiled, kissing his neck.

  “You don’t have to try.” He helped her remove her nightie. “I see you’re ready for me.” He smiled, noticing she didn’t wear any underwear. Shannon jumped on him and began devouring his lips, moving down to his neck and nipples. “Damn, Mamita.” She sucked on his nipples, making him hard as steel. She moved down to his boxers, leaning up to take them off, and threw them on the floor.

  Looking at his cock, she gave him a naughty smile. “Hello.”

  She gripped his cock and rubbed the tip, up and down, adding some saliva for lubrication. She twirled her tongue at the base, making him groan. Grabbing his shaft, she brought her head down and started slowly sucking.

  Matt pulled her hair and guided her up and down, trying to take it slow; his toes were starting to curl. “Mamita.” He moaned. “You have to stop.” He moved forward and picked her up. He opened her legs and stared at her brown pussy. “Exotic,” he said, leaning down and nibbling on her inner thighs.

  Shannon’s legs began to shake. “Sí, papi.”

  Matt laughed, looking up. “I haven’t even finished yet.” He got closer to her pussy and gently licked and sucked her sensitive nub, parting her labia, he inserted two fingers, plunging into her then slowly going in and out, while at the same time, he sucked on her clit. He could tell she was about to burst.

  She started convulsing uncontrollably. “I’m coming, yes, yes!” she moaned.

  Matt kissed his way up, stopping at her breasts and gently sucking on her erect nipples. He leaned up and kissed her lips. “I love you.” He stared into her passion-filled eyes.

  He settled himself between her legs. She grabbed his cock, and he slowly pushed into her as she gasped for air. “Oh God, Matt. I love you,” she said, putting her legs around his back. “More, mas, si.”

  He smiled, and thrust deeper into her. “Mamita, please marry me,” he said between groans, slowly pulling out, leaving just the tip, and then plunging back in, making her pussy contract around his dick.

  “Yes, yes. Oh, Matt, yes!” she yelled then moaned, moving her hips to dance with his thrusts.

  “Yes, you’ll marry me?” He laughed, grunting between his teeth.

  “Yes, I’ll marry you, whenever you want. Just don’t stop!”

  Matt thrust into her this time with no mercy. Shannon began to shake again. “Yes, mami, come for me.” He groaned.

  She hooked her legs behind his butt and moved her hips in rhythm with his, until she came, screaming. As soon as her pussy squeezed his dick, he came apart in her arms. “Finally,” he said between breaths.

  “Yes I did, finally say yes.” She leaned up, kissing him.

  He kissed her back, smiling, and rubbed her left breast. He stopped suddenly, his smile vanishing. He felt her left breast again and stared at her.

  “What?” She laughed, thinking he was playing around.

  “You have a lump,” he whispered.

  “No I don’t.” Her smile vanished. He grabbed her hand and let her feel it.

  She gently pushed him off of her, and she felt her breast again. “I never felt that before,” she said with a shocked look in her eyes.

  “Mamita, it might be nothing.” He grabbed her hands. “We’ll make an appointment as soon as possible.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Shannon was nervous waiting for the doctor to come in. Matt squeezed her hand. What if I have cancer? Is it too late? All she could think of was everything she would be leaving behind…her son, Matt. Oh God, Matt…Why didn’t I just marry him?

  “Shannon, I’m right here,” Matt said, kissing her hand.

  Doctor Jorge Wilson came in, introduced himself, and explained the process of detecting breast cancer. She changed into a hospital gown and lay down while the doctor did a manual exam.

  “Ms. Jones, you do have a lump in your breast. I’m going to send you to get a mammogram and have a blood test done, and when we have the results, I’ll give you a call.”

  “When will she get the mammogram done?” Matt asked.

  “As soon as we’re finished here. I want her to go to the lab and get it done today.” The doctor stood up. “I’m going to arrange it right now.”

  “When will we know the results?”

  “Twenty-four to forty-eight hours.” He left.

  “Shannon.”

  “Yes, I’m just still in shock. I mean I knew it was a lump, but I thought the doctor would say something else,” she said.

  He kissed her gently on the lips. “I’m with you.”

  ***

  Two days later.

  Shannon, holding a new employee orientation, introduced herself to the expectant faces clustered around the conference room table. Taking her time, she explained the company’s benefits. She asked if anybody had any questions, and they all shook their heads. She let them know she had an open-door policy and stepped out the room.

  She was walking by the front desk when Amanda looked up and said, “Ms. Jones, you have a call from a Doctor Wilson.”

  “Thank you.” Shannon stepped into her office, took a deep breath, and answered. “Good afternoon, this is Shannon Jones.”

  “Good afternoon, Ms. Jones, this is Doctor Wilson.”

  “Yes.”

  “Ma’am, your results are in, and I’m sorry to inform you it is cancer.”

  She remained silent for a couple of seconds.

  “Ma’am.”

  “Yes.”

  “I need you to come in so we can perform a biopsy on the lump, we need to find out if it’s benign. I would like you to come in tomorrow.”

  “Okay, I’ll be there.” She hung up and just cried.

  Amanda knocked and came in. “Shan
non, I have the resumes you requested.” Amanda looked at her with concern. “Shannon, are you okay?” she asked.

  Shannon just waved her hands, gesturing for the woman to leave.

  ***

  Amanda went back to her desk and called the downtown branch.

  “Good afternoon, Normandy Credit Union. This is Tasha. How may I help you?” the receptionist answered.

  “May I talk to Mr. Johnston?”

  “Mr. Johnston is in with a member at this moment. May I take a message?”

  “Tasha, this is Amanda at corporate. I need to talk to Mr. Johnston. It’s an emergency.”

  “Let me try and get him on the phone.”

  Matt’s phone buzzed while he was talking to a member who’d asked to speak to the VP to report a teller. “Excuse me, sir.” He picked up the phone. “Tasha, I’m with a member.”

  “Mr. Johnston, I apologize for interrupting, but Amanda from corporate says she needs to talk to you. It’s important.”

  “Put her through.” He looked over at the man. “It’ll just be a minute. Amanda, how can I help you?”

  “Mr. Johnston, it’s Ms. Jones. She got a call from a doctor, and she’s been crying ever since. Can you try to come here? I think she needs you.”

  “Amanda, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thanks for calling.” He hung the phone up and buzzed for his teller supervisor. “Terry, I need you to come and help Mr. Conwell, I have an emergency.” He hung up. “Sir, I’m sorry, but I have to leave. I’m leaving you with Mrs. Hill. You’re in good hands.” He got up and introduced them and ran out the office to head to corporate.

  ***

  Matt ran into the building. “Thank you,” he said, passing Amanda at the front desk.

  He opened Shannon’s office door, and she looked up. Her eyes were bloodshot red. “I came as fast as I could.” He walked over to her desk, picking her up from her chair, and hugged her. “What did he say?”

  “I have cancer.” She kept crying. “I have fucking cancer.”

  Matt hugged her tighter. “You don’t know, it might be benign,” he whispered, with tears in his eyes, too.

  “What if its not?”

  “Then we’ll deal with it, but for right now, we have to think positive. When is your next appointment?”

  “Tomorrow. I’m getting a biopsy done.”

  He leaned her away, staring at her. “I’m going with you. You won’t go through this alone.”

  She cupped his face. “Matt, what am I going to do if it’s—”

  “Don’t say it. Get your things. I’m taking you home.” He turned off her computer and grabbed her purse.

  ***

  A week later, they were waiting to hear the results of her biopsy.

  Doctor Wilson came in with a file in his hand. By the look on his face, he already knew. The doctor sighed. “You have stage IIA breast cancer.”

  Shannon placed her hand over her mouth as a tear ran down Matt’s face.

  After the initial shock, he wanted to run out the doctor’s office and break down, but he wiped the tear. He needed to be strong for her. “What is Stage IIA?” He paused. “And what are the treatments?”

  The doctor explained, “Stage IIA breast cancer is a tumor greater than two centimeters. The treatment plan I’ve come up with would begin with chemotherapy to see if we can shrink the lump. If that doesn’t work, then we start on radiation treatment.”

  He looked over at Shannon and saw the disbelief in her eyes. She blinked her eyes a couple of times, and the tears came. “I have cancer,” she whispered, staring at Matt.

  He stood and pulled her up, giving her a tight hug, then whispered, “We will beat this together.”

  Shannon got herself together by wiping her tears and straightening up, and said, “I’ve done lots of research on the Internet on breast cancer since you diagnosed me.” Matt squeezed her hand in silence. “I want you to perform a lumpectomy.” She stared at the doctor.

  “Is lumpectomy the best option?” Matt asked. “Because you recommended chemotherapy.”

  “If we perform a lumpectomy, I’ll be removing the tumor as well as some of the surrounding tissue. I can’t tell you that this surgery will be successful, but right now, it’s my third recommendation. I recommend chemotherapy first because it’s intended to stop or slow the growth of the cancer cells.”

  “What are the risks?” Matt asked.

  “The surgery has some risks. Afterward, the affected breast might be slightly different from the other. One might be larger than the other. Some small deformation may occur, and she might lose sensation.”

  “That’s a low price to pay for my life. I want you to perform the surgery as soon as possible,” she said, wiping her tears.

  He left the doctor’s office hopeful after scheduling her surgery two weeks away.

  Shannon stopped Matt. “Let’s get married.”

  “I thought we were.”

  “No, I mean right away. Tomorrow isn’t promised to me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  One week later.

  Both dressed in white, Matt and Shannon exchanged their vows in bare feet on soft white sand with the sunset glistening on the beach behind them. The sunset was breathtaking as the pastor pronounced them husband and wife.

  “You may kiss your bride.”

  Matt smiled, leaning into Shannon, and gently kissed her lips. “I love you.”

  Shannon wiped his tears. “I love you too.”

  Andrew, Sherry, and Matthew clapped.

  Matthew jumped. “Yeah, Mom-my, Dad-dy.” He laughed, clapping.

  They’d decided to keep her cancer from their families until she was ready to share.

  Sherry ran up to the newlyweds and gave them each a big hug. “You know our parents are going to kill us for not telling them.”

  Andrew picked up Matthew and walked up behind Sherry. “This is their secret to tell, not ours, big-mouth.”

  Sherry turned around, furious. “I don’t have a big mouth, you ass.”

  “Okay, if you say so.” He turned and hugged Shannon.

  “Shannon, tell him I don’t have a big mouth.” Sherry looked at her.

  “You do.” She giggled.

  “I’ll prove it to you. If you don’t want me to say anything, I won’t, but that ring on your finger will give it away.”

  Shannon looked at the three-carat ring with a big smile on her face. “Finally, I’m Mrs. Johnston,” she whispered.

  Matt came up behind her, kissing her on her neck. “Finally.”

  “We’re leaving now. Say bye to your son,” Andrew said.

  Matt and Shannon kissed and hugged their son, saying how much they loved him. He loved the attention and kissed them back.

  “Enjoy your honeymoon,” Andrew said as he left with Sherry and Matthew.

  “Bye.” Matthew waved and threw kisses. “Muah!”

  Shannon placed her hand on her mouth and threw kisses back.

  “Bye.” Matt waved, and then he turned around. “It’s just you and me.”

  They strolled hand-in-hand on the white, sandy beach.

  She leaned into him, and he put his arms around her. “When are you going tell your parents?”

  “I was thinking of inviting them over for dinner.” She put her arms around his waist.

  “You think your dad will come?”

  “My mom will force him.”

  “When are you going to tell them about the cancer?”

  She stopped and stared at him. “I don’t want them to worry.”

  “Baby, with the treatments, they’ll notice something is wrong. I know you’re going to beat this thing, but you also need all the support you can get.” They continued walking.

  “First, I have to tell them I’m married, and then I’ll think about telling them about the cancer. But no more talk about cancer. It’s our honeymoon.” She pulled away from him and ran.

  He caught up with her, picking her up, and ran down the beach.


  ***

  Matt watched his wife while she slept. You’re so beautiful. With his index finger, he traced her full lips. This is how it’s supposed to feel: no regrets, no guilt, just love. What will I do without you? He caressed her cheek with his fingertips. You’re so strong. I know you can beat this, he thought, staring at her.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Two weeks later.

  Shannon opened the front door for her parents.

  “Good evening.” Her mom gave her a hug. Her father entered the house without saying one word to her.

  Shannon closed the door behind her. Matt came out the bedroom with Matthew in his arms. “Gran-ma,” he said, trying to get away from Matt.

  “Hi, Matt.” She took Matthew from him.

  “Hi, Mrs. Joy, it’s great to see you.” He kissed her cheeks. “Mr. Jones, how are you?”

  Her father just ignored him.

  “Patrick, Matt’s talking to you.”

  Matt looked over at Shannon and could tell from the look on her face she wasn’t feeling good, he walked over to her. “Mamita, are you okay?” He touched her forehead.

  “I’m okay.” She smiled at him.

  “She would be much better if you moved out of her house,” her father said.

  “Patrick, please be quiet.” Her mom scowled at him.

  “No, I’m tired of not saying what’s on my mind,” he said, raising his voice.

  “Daddy, please stop,” Shannon pleaded.

  “First, you knocked up my daughter while you were married, and now you shack up with her. I guess she is not good enough to marry.”

  Matt just gave him a dirty look, clenching his jaw.