Adding Up to Family

by Marie Ferrarella

  The sound of the front door closing had him quickly shutting the refrigerator door and looking up. The next minute, Becky walked into the kitchen carrying a large, flat square box.

  Something smelled good, he thought—something aside from her.

  “You’re home earlier than I thought you’d be,” she was saying. “I just dropped Stephanie off at her friend’s house for the sleepover. I’ve never seen her this excited before.”

  She put the box on the table and he noticed that the logo of a popular pizza restaurant was splashed across the top.

  He looked at her in surprise. “You bought pizza.”

  “You noticed, huh?” Becky quipped. And then she went on to explain, “I thought that since this was Stephanie’s first night away from home, you might be a little antsy and might want to be distracted.” As she spoke, she took out some napkins and a couple of plates. “There’s a home game on tonight with the Angels playing against the Mets, so I thought a pizza and some beer might be in order. We can watch and have dinner in front of the TV—or I could just let you watch the game alone if you’d prefer doing that instead.”

  If he wanted to be distracted, having Becky around would do a far better job than either the pizza or the game would.

  “Why would I prefer to watch alone?” he asked, puzzled.

  “Because I know that sometimes I have a tendency to take over and tell people what to do, and maybe you’d rather be alone tonight—to concentrate on the game.”

  “Tell people what to do? I hadn’t noticed,” Steve deadpanned. And then his face split into a grin. “See, I can make a joke, too.”

  “I see. C’mon,” she urged. “Game’s already started. I can set everything up in the family room.”

  “We can set it up together,” he told her. He saw the slight uncertain look in her eyes. “You do realize that you are entitled to some time off, don’t you?”

  “I know,” she told him. “This is my time off.”

  Steve decided not to argue with that. Otherwise, she might change her mind and decide to do something else. He found himself wanting to spend this time with her.

  He brought in the pizza while she handled the plates, napkins and two bottles of beer. Fortunately, Steve had an old-fashioned, oversize coffee table that more than accommodated everything and then some.

  She went to turn on the TV before she sat down. “I didn’t know you liked baseball,” he commented once the game came on.

  “I do,” she assured him.

  “I never saw you watching a game,” he pointed out.

  “That’s because I usually just follow the scores during the season unless it starts to look like one of my teams is actually headed for the playoffs,” she confessed. “And even then I don’t always watch, because I get too nervous for them. I hate seeing them lose.

  “But tonight, as I was dropping Stephanie off, she told me that you like the Angels, so I thought you might like watching them play while you eat.”

  “As a matter of fact, I would,” he told her. Leaning over, he took out a slice of pizza and put it on his plate. Looking at her, he shook his head and marveled. “You know, you’re not a housekeeper. You’re more like my own personal genie.”

  “If that were the case,” she said, as she took a slice for herself, “I could only grant you three wishes and then poof! I’d be gone. I think having me as your housekeeper might be the better deal.”

  “You might have a point there,” he chuckled. “I certainly wouldn’t want you to disappear.”

  I wouldn’t, either, Becky thought, although she did her best not to show it.

  * * *

  “You know, I wound up eating more than half of this pizza.” It was as much an apology as an observation as he looked into the box sometime later.

  “You were probably hungrier than I was,” she said. “Besides, you got caught up watching some of those close plays. I don’t think you were even aware of the fact that you were chewing until after you’d finished the slice—and maybe not even then.” As if by agreement, they both got up and cleared the coffee table of the empty box, the dirty plates and the crumpled napkins. “It was a pretty exciting game.”

  “It was, wasn’t it?” he commented. “I’m glad I had a chance to catch it. If it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t have remembered that there was a game on until after it was over.”

  He paused for a moment after they walked back into the kitchen and he threw the box into the recycle bin. His eyes met hers. “Thanks for this,” Steve added after a moment.

  “I thought you might like to do something a bit different tonight, since Stephanie was doing something different.” Becky flushed a little, thinking that maybe she was saying too much. “Like I said earlier, I have this tendency to just take charge—unless someone actually stops me.”

  “Doing something different is good,” he told her. “Although, if I was really looking to do something different...”

  Realizing where he was going with this, Steve stopped himself before he got in too deep and said something he couldn’t take back.

  But Becky was still waiting for him to complete his thought. “Yes?” she asked.

  Steve turned toward her, his common sense warring with his desire, causing him to grind to a complete standstill as each side fought to come out on top.

  He looked into her eyes, warning himself not to get lost there even though it would be so easy for him to do that.

  “I think you can probably figure it out,” he murmured.

  Silence hung between them like a lethal live wire, giving off sparks.

  She caught her breath. This was where she took the reprieve, held on to it with both hands and gracefully backed away.

  Or ran.

  But she didn’t want to back away, gracefully or otherwise, and definitely didn’t want to run, even though, in her heart, she knew she should. Because taking that route only led to more of the same, while the other way promised to lead to something a great deal more exciting.

  The thought tempted her.

  As it grew and took on a life of its own, she could feel her heart slamming against her chest, threatening to give her away at any moment.

  She could hardly breathe.

  “Do I get a hint?” Becky asked in a low voice.

  He was losing this battle.

  Damn it, why did she have to look so appealing? He wanted to tell himself that it was the lighting, but it wasn’t. She would have looked just as appealing if she’d been standing in a forest during a moonless night at midnight.

  And he wanted her.

  Heaven help him, he wanted her even though he knew that there would be a very heavy price to pay for all this.

  But he didn’t care about some price that would have to be paid somewhere down the line. Didn’t care about anything except this overwhelming need that was eating away at his gut, pleading with him to at least assuage that need just a little if he didn’t want to lose his mind.

  So, even though every fiber of what made him a logical engineer ordered him to back away from this woman now, before he found himself getting in so deep that he couldn’t find his way out again, Steve allowed himself to move on his instincts.

  He framed her face with his hands and he kissed her. Kissed her with a force that took both their breaths away.

  And when he finally drew back, trying desperately to grab on to the last shreds of sanity, Becky murmured, “I think I’m going to need a bigger hint.”

  And just like that, Steve was lost.

  Lost because he didn’t want to back away. Lost because it had been too long since he’d felt that overwhelming, gut-warming glow of wanting to connect with a woman he both liked and desired.

  It was a combination far rarer than it sounded.

  He didn’t have the will to talk himself out of it, or to think through
his actions. There was only here, only now, and this gnawing, insatiable longing that was completely undoing him like a runaway spool of thread.

  * * *

  Becky couldn’t put a name to what she was feeling because she had never felt it before. All she knew was that it was ravaging her, reducing her to a pulsating ember whose fire would consume her.

  But before it did, she wanted to make the most of it, the most of this feeling comprised of wild, earthshaking ecstasy that had taken possession of her.

  That owned her.

  It was as if she’d suddenly been born again. Everything was new for her. Everything that was happening just created larger and larger needs within her, sweeping her up to the next plateau, and then the next one.

  Becky found herself doing things she’d never dreamed of doing. For every stitch of clothing he pulled away from her, she did the same with him. She was undressing him in a frenzy of wild, uncoordinated movements. Desire was dictating everything she did.

  She had the uncontrollable urge to draw her palms along his taut chest muscles, absorbing the feel of his body through her skin even as he was exploring hers, claiming her with every hot, demanding kiss that he branded her with.

  Her head kept swirling, making her brain play hide-and-seek with reality.

  Because she had never felt this way about a man, had never been this close to one before—until now. Never made love with one before.

  Now she wanted to experience everything at once, to touch and be touched, to kiss and be kissed, and most of all, she wanted to go where this achingly hot desire was leading her.

  * * *

  Her skin was soft, pliant, and the more he kissed her, the more he wanted her. She was like a feast and he couldn’t seem to get enough of her. He attributed it to his long, self-enforced celibacy, but in the back of his mind, he sensed that there was more to it than that. However, right now he couldn’t think, couldn’t reason things out. All he wanted to do was to feel, to savor this delicious, wildly erotic woman.

  It just showed him that he could not tell a book by its cover. To look at her was to look at a woman who was every inch a lady. But then she had all but exploded in his arms and she was a wildcat, and the thought of having her gave him a rush the likes of which he had never experienced before.

  Wanting to satisfy her, he forced himself to take his time. To draw the process out even though all he wanted to do was to take her now, this moment.

  So he made love to every part of her, exciting himself in the process. Slowly drawing his lips along every inch of her, lingering, causing her to twist and turn beneath him and look up at him with complete awe.

  And then, because he couldn’t hold out a second longer, he drew his hard body along hers until they were totally aligned and more than ready for the last step that would create one out of two.

  His eyes on hers, Steve moved her legs apart with his knee and then began to enter her.

  In no way had he anticipated the resistance he encountered.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Steve was going to stop.

  She could sense it. Just like that, he was going to stop. The very thought caused a tidal wave of regret to fill up the spaces inside her. She’d come too far, wanted him too much to have him just draw back. The initial thrust had brought pain, but there would be so much more pain if he backed away from her right now.

  She needed him not to back away.

  So Becky tightened her arms around his neck and arched her body higher against his, shattering the last of his self-control and blowing it apart.

  The pain that had scissored through her subsided as the tantalizing rhythm of their bodies increased. Fiery heat and passion swallowed her again.

  Every movement he made she emulated and then surpassed, until suddenly, the very sky exploded, raining ecstasy down all around her.

  All around them.

  Making her want to hold on to this precious moment forever.

  But after a few moments, the intensity that had seized her began to slowly fade, taking with it the euphoria that had colored her world in such exquisite, blazing hues.

  The adrenaline that had sped up her heart began to slip away, as well, taking with it her feeling of well-being.

  Steve rolled off her, lying instead at her side.

  Silence slowly seeped into the room where only a few minutes before, the sound of heavy breathing had permeated the very air.

  Becky braced herself for what she knew, in her heart, was coming.

  She didn’t have long to wait.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Steve asked.

  She ran the tip of her tongue along lips that had gone completely dry. She willed her heart to settle down. “Tell you what?” she asked in a stilted voice.

  He looked at her in disbelief. “That you were a virgin!”

  His voice sounded accusing, sharp. Was he really angry? Or was that disappointment she heard in his voice? She couldn’t tell.

  “I must have missed filling in that line on my résumé,” she said, staring up at the darkened ceiling.

  “This isn’t a joke, Rebecca,” he told her, his guilt getting the better of him.

  She turned toward him. “And exactly when was I supposed to tell you?”

  “I don’t know,” he answered, feeling helpless, guilty and a host of other things he couldn’t even name. “Sometime,” he stressed. Raising himself up on his elbow, he looked down at her incredulously. “And how is it even possible that you’ve never...you’ve never... You’re twenty-seven, right?”

  “What does that have to do with it?” she asked. Grabbing the edge of the comforter, she pulled it up against her, covering her nudity. “There’s no expiration date for being a virgin.” Her voice lowered to sound like a voice-over announcer. “‘Do it by twenty-one or you’re automatically not a virgin anymore’?”

  “I didn’t mean that.” He dragged his hand through his hair, frustrated, searching for the right words to use. “Hell, Becky, you’re beautiful. I would have thought any number of guys would have tried to get you into bed by now.”

  Didn’t he get it yet? “It doesn’t matter what they might have tried. I’m not that easy to get,” she informed him.

  Her meaning was beginning to dawn on him. “You mean you never wanted to do this before?” he questioned, astonished.

  She pulled the comforter closer as she sat up. Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them back. “Look, I’m sorry if you were disappointed—”

  “Disappointed?” he echoed, dumbfounded. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re the one who should be disappointed!”

  Now this was really not making any sense. She stared at Steve, totally bewildered.

  “Were you there just now?” she questioned. “That was the singularly most wonderful experience of my life, so why in the world would I be disappointed?”

  “Because,” he stressed, “your first time should have been special.”

  “Again, were you just there with me?” she asked him incredulously. “It was beyond special. I can give you a written recommendation if you want—of course, I would be sorely tempted to kill the woman who accepted the recommendation, but that’s my problem, not yours.”

  Steve slowly moved the comforter she was holding aside and pulled her to him as he lay back down.

  “You have no problem,” he told her, just before he kissed her again.

  She could feel her body heating once more as she melted into his arms. There was still something unresolved between them. A large something. She could sense it. But for now, all she wanted to do was capture the tail of the fiery comet one more time before she retreated from the field.

  Throwing her arms around his neck, she silently let him know that she wanted to make love with him all over again.

  And he was there for her.

&n
bsp; * * *

  In all honesty, Steve thought he would feel guilty, but he hadn’t expected the guilt to be this oppressive, to weigh him down so heavily that he had to concentrate in order to breathe. Making love with Becky had been a wild, rejuvenating experience, and for the space of time while it was happening, he felt glad to be alive again.

  But after the euphoria passed and the dust settled, the feeling of disloyalty reared its head again. Left unchallenged, it flourished, creating strong waves of oppressive, soul-crushing guilt. Guilt he found he couldn’t deal with.

  Faced with this, Steve did the only thing he could do. He retreated. Getting up the minute he opened his eyes, he decided that he was going to go in to work even though it was Saturday.

  “You’re going to work?” Becky questioned as she placed the breakfast she had barely finished making before him.

  Something had made her get up while he was still sleeping. Perhaps she’d sensed that he wasn’t quite ready to wake up to the sight of her when he first opened his eyes. Unable to get back to sleep, she’d headed to the kitchen.

  By the time she’d finished preparing his breakfast, Steve was up and walking toward the door. Moving fast, she’d managed to waylay him.

  “Aren’t you going to have breakfast?” she’d asked him.

  Since she’d gone through the trouble, he reluctantly sat down at the table and had breakfast, but not before telling her that he had to go in. That was when she’d stared at him, stunned, and asked if he was serious.

  “Yes.” Steve said the word to his plate as he quickly finished what was on it.

  She didn’t understand. “I thought you said you had the weekend free.”

  “Yes, well, something came up,” he told her, avoiding her eyes again.

  Becky looked at him for a long moment. He’d scared himself, she realized. He’d felt something last night and he was frightened. She would bet anything on it. “I’m picking Stephanie up from the Alexander house in an hour,” she told him, watching his face for some sign that she was getting through. “She’s going to be disappointed not to find you home.”