The Mistakes I've Made

by J. L. Berg

  Her eyes found mine and slowly made their way down and back up again.

  Oh, yeah, it does.

  “No,” she lied.

  I couldn’t help the wide smile I now carried. “Good. Then, let’s go.”

  We walked side by side down the road, a custom I was growing rather fond of.

  “So, where are we headed?” she asked.

  “Just over there.” I pointed.

  Her eyes followed. “Oh, yeah, I meant to check that place out the day I arrived but ended up at your place first, and…well, I was a bit flustered afterward.”

  That statement made me smile. “Flustered?”

  “I’m not used to being hit on like that,” she admitted.

  “What?” I found myself taken aback. “I mean, not that I relish in the idea of men throwing themselves at you on a regular basis, but I hardly think that’s true. Maybe you just don’t notice it. Like the architect.”

  She shrugged. “I work a lot.”

  I grinned. “That’s your answer? You work a lot? I work a lot, too, but I still manage to—”

  Her hand went up. “Please don’t finish that sentence.”

  A chuckle escaped my lips. “Fair enough. Hey, we’re here.”

  Her eyes turned upward. The bold new sign Millie had designed, which proudly displayed the store named Beachcombers, caught her eye.

  But only for a fraction of a second.

  I pulled the door open and ushered her in.

  “That was definitely a rule-breaker,” I said softly in her ear as she went.

  “What was? Allowing you to open the door for me?”

  “No. Getting jealous over my after-work activities.” I grinned.

  Her gaze turned to mine. “Then, so is asking about men flirting with me.”

  Shrugging, I followed her in. “You brought it up.”

  “Oh my God!” Millie’s voice brought my attention forward. “Is that…no.”

  My eyes rolled.

  “It couldn’t possibly be!”

  “Millie,” I warned, but she carried on with the theatrics as Leilani watched the exchange between us, probably wondering if this was just another blonde I’d slept with.

  “It is! It’s my good friend Taylor. But what’s this? What’s he doing here, in my store? He never comes here.”

  “You’re being ridiculous.”

  She smiled. “I know. But it has been a while since you’ve passed through those doors.”

  “No, it hasn’t,” I argued. “I was here…” I tried to think back as both women waited.

  “See?” Millie’s smile widened.

  “Okay, fine. But can you blame me? Look at this place. What in the world would I buy?”

  Leilani did just that, her wide eyes roaming as she took it all in. It really was an impressive shop filled with beautiful clothes, handcrafted items, and gifts, but there was definitely a female vibe, and I wasn’t feeling it.

  “Well, I’m glad you’re here. What can I do for you? Or are you just here to introduce me to your new friend?” she asked, turning her attention to Leilani.

  I was grateful for the hospitality from Millie. I knew everyone had been nervous since the arrival of Leilani and her ideas for this hotel project, but so far, aside from me, she’d been met with nothing but kindness.

  I swallowed hard.

  That was a sobering revelation.

  It was true. From my brother to the committee to everyone she’d met in the town, not a single person had acted out in anger toward her.

  Not one person but me.

  “Uh…” I stumbled for a moment, still lost in my thought. “Leilani seems to have forgotten her bathing suit back home. Do you think you could help her pick one out?”

  Millie’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Of course!” She motioned to the back of the store, and Leilani quickly followed. “I’ve just started carrying this line—super on trend but not too hard on the pocketbook.” Millie suddenly looked like she’d said something wrong. “Not that you have to worry—”

  Leilani smiled warmly. “I love a good bargain.”

  A look of relief spread across Millie’s face as I leaned back against the checkout counter.

  “Oh, good, because, when I spotted those designer shoes, I got a little worried I wouldn’t have anything suitable for your high standards.”

  Leilani batted her hand as they both dived into the racks. “Please,” she said. “I’ve had these for ages, and it took three paychecks to afford them.”

  The statement surprised both Millie and me.

  Leilani was an heiress after all. The title alone assumed a certain sort of lifestyle. I mean, we’d all grown up watching Paris Hilton.

  “I used to have a pair just like them,” Millie boasted. “Bought them right off the runway in Paris, but I sold them and all their little brothers and sisters to afford this place.”

  Leilani took a moment to look around. “I think you made the right choice. And I love the color scheme you went with.”

  “Really?” Millie said, the pride she felt over this shop showing all over her face. “Because I had an interior designer from Nags Head come down, and she suggested something completely different than this, but it just didn’t feel right.”

  Leilani shook her head, her eyes briefly landing on mine. “Sometimes, you just have to go with your gut.”

  I wasn’t sure if she was referring to her hotel or me, but either way, my stomach flip-flopped like a freaking teenager hoping to get to second base. I continued to wait around as the two women made small talk until Leilani had several swimsuits picked out and headed into the changing room.

  The effort it took not to picture her stripping down naked was monumental.

  “So, what’s the deal between you two?” Millie asked, her voice barely a whisper as she joined me at the wooden counter. She pretended to be interested in organizing several displays of jewelry, but really, she was just being nosy.

  “What do you mean, what’s the deal?”

  She shook her head, smiling. “I mean, are you playing nice, still hoping to sabotage her plans—”

  My eyes nearly bugged out of my head as they jerked to the changing room across the store. “Dude!”

  Her smile only deepened. “Or are you really into this woman?”

  Before I had a chance to answer that question, Leilani peeked her head out of the dressing room, and I felt my mouth fall to the floor.

  “Do you think you could grab a larger top for me in this one? I’m always a size larger up here,” she asked Millie, showing her the mini red bikini top that barely covered her breasts.

  Fuck. Me.

  I didn’t even try not to stare. I mean, what man could?

  If anything, I was just training myself for the torture I’d endure later on in the day.

  The beach?

  What the hell had I been thinking?

  “Sure,” Millie said, giving me an amused grin before she ran to the racks. She handed Leilani the top she needed.

  By the time she returned, I was pretty sure there was drool forming around the corners of my mouth.

  “Oh, man. You’ve got it bad, don’t you?”

  “We’re just friends,” I answered immediately.

  She laughed. “Okay.”

  “What? I can be friends with a female,” I demanded. “We’re friends. And we were platonic friends way before you met Aiden.”

  “Yeah, but you never looked at me like that,” she said quietly, giving a head nod in the direction of the changing room where Leilani was currently trying on a plethora of teeny, tiny bikinis.

  So much for not picturing her naked.

  “That’s because you’re my friend,” I said the words before I even realized they were coming out of my mouth.

  A satisfied grin spread across Millie’s face. “Exactly.”

  “See? I told you,” I boasted as we pulled back onto Highway 12, having just spent an ample amount of time watching the once-wild ponies of Ocracoke.


  I caught a warm smile from the passenger seat.

  “Yes, you were the perfect gentleman. And I even got another history lesson.”

  “Well, I couldn’t take you to see the infamous Banker ponies and not tell you the legends of how they got their name.”

  She laughed. “I swear, you must know everything about this island,” she said.

  I shrugged. “It’s my home. Tell me you don’t know a ton of random facts about Hawaii.”

  Her eyes narrowed as she thought it over. I’d already begun to pull over to the small turnout that led to the beach I wanted to take her to. It was a local spot I’d been visiting since I was a kid.

  “I guess so,” she answered. “Although I think I would know more if my grandparents were still around. And my mom.”

  I nodded. “There are definitely parts of my family history that are spotty because my father is gone.”

  Her eyes lifted to mine. I guessed it was the first time I’d mentioned him.

  “How old were you?”

  “Young,” I replied. “Too young to remember…”

  Much.

  I paused for a moment, gathering my thoughts. “But my mom has always been more than enough, and I had Dean.”

  “He seems like a good guy, your brother?”

  I smiled. “Yeah. Perhaps a bit nosy, but he’s all right. No brothers or sisters for you?”

  She shook her head as both of us headed out of the car. “I remember asking for a little sister once when I was young, but my mom said—jokingly, of course—that they had their hands full with me. I don’t know if they just didn’t want any more or if there was some other reason, but I grew up as an only child.”

  “Sounds lonely,” I said as I grabbed the cooler from the back of the truck.

  We continued our tradition of walking side by side, but this time, our heels dug into the sand as we climbed the dunes toward the beach.

  “It wasn’t,” she replied. “Or, at least, it wasn’t until…” Her voice faded.

  “How old were you?” I asked, echoing her words from earlier.

  “Fifteen,” she said.

  I winced. What a terrible age to lose a mother.

  Not that there was ever a good time, but at fifteen, with all those awkward hormones and emotions to navigate, it was a delicate time, to say the least.

  Even I’d needed my mom’s shoulder to lean on more than once.

  “My father was making the globe-trotting, mega-millionaire thing sort of work back then, coming home when he could, but after my mom died, he just gave up on anything family-related.”

  “Hence the reason you mentioned the hotel staff before?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, they were basically my family for those last few years of high school. Sad, huh?”

  I stood straight and looked her in the eye. “No, not sad at all. You found a family when your own let you down. I’d call that pretty damn brave.”

  A small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips before her attention turned to the cooler I’d dropped on the sand next to me. “So, what does Taylor Sutherland bring to the beach? Beer and chips?”

  “You seriously think I’d bring you all the way out here with just a cooler full of beer and a measly bag of chips? What kind of friend do you take me for?”

  Her hands found her hips, reminding me that, before we’d left Beachcombers, she’d slipped a bathing suit on under her sundress. Just remembering her breasts peeking out of that bikini top had me giddy with anticipation, wondering what was waiting for me underneath it.

  Not for me, I reminded myself. Definitely not for me.

  “Well, I was hoping you’d pack a little more, but I wasn’t sure. You are a bachelor. For all I know, it could be leftovers from your fridge.”

  I gave her an exasperated look. “And, if it were, you’d be delightfully surprised because I am an excellent cook.”

  “Really?” Her brow rose. “Well then, show me what you’ve got.”

  Now, it was my brow that rose…and waggled. She laughed out loud.

  “That’s definitely breaking the rules,” she warned.

  “You’re no fun.”

  “You’re the one who made them up,” she replied with a shrug.

  I know, I thought, remembering just how tight that bikini top had been while stretched over those perky breasts of hers. Don’t remind me.

  To prove to her just how good my cooking skills were, I popped open the cooler and began pulling things out.

  When her eyes widened, I realized I might have gone a little overboard.

  Okay, I probably should have realized that late last night when I had lost sleep, cooking for a girl I was convinced was no more than a friend.

  Yeah, I definitely had it bad.

  “You made all of this?” she exclaimed as I pulled out homemade chicken salad, rolls, several side dishes, and of course, dessert.

  “I like to cook,” I simply said.

  “Well, you’ll be happy to know, I am a girl who likes to eat.”

  “Thank God.” I laughed.

  We both dug in, and I felt a distinct sense of pride as I watched her sink her teeth into the food I’d made especially for her. I rarely cooked for other people, aside from my brother’s early morning visits, and it was nice to feel appreciated and see the joy in someone else’s eyes.

  Or maybe just hers.

  We ate in comfortable silence for a time, enjoying the warm afternoon sun and each other’s company.

  Nothing was hurried or rushed, just like a day at the beach was supposed to be.

  “I would have never guessed you were such an amazing cook,” Leilani finally said, nibbling on a brownie. “What are some other random facts about you that I might not know?”

  “Well, let me think,” I said, leaning back on my elbows. “I was a scrawny kid. Bet you didn’t know that.”

  She laughed. “No way.”

  “Yep.” I grinned. “Smallest kid in my kindergarten class. But there were only three of us, so it wasn’t great odds, but I was still pretty small. I didn’t fill out until middle school.”

  “Only three? That’s crazy.” She briefly paused, probably trying to visualize a class size that small. Finally, she spoke up again, “Give me another.”

  “Okay,” I agreed, turning toward her. “I guess this one might be hard to believe, given my love for my town, but up until a few years ago, my plan was to eventually leave Ocracoke.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “You heard the part about three kids being in my kindergarten class?”

  She giggled.

  “Seriously though, I just wanted to be somewhere different—or so I thought. I thought there was something missing, like I was—”

  “Waiting for your life to start?”

  Our eyes met.

  “Yeah.”

  “I feel that way, too,” she admitted. “Like I’m just holding my breath, waiting for my real life to begin.”

  “And has it?” I asked.

  “I’m starting to wonder.”

  The air seemed to crackle around us, making my skin prickle and my heart race.

  God, I wanted to kiss her again. What I wouldn’t give to feel those lips against mine, to slip my hand under that short, little skirt, and to finally give in to all those fantasies I’d been having of us together.

  But, instead, I opened my mouth and asked her a question, “What about you?” I felt like the ultimate loser. I’d never been one to beat around the bush when it came to making the moves on a woman. But, Leilani was different.

  Leilani was more. “What are some random facts about you?” I asked.

  Her eyes blinked several times before she answered, obviously still stuck in the moment I’d just yanked us out of, “Um…oh!” She grinned, moving her leg so that her ankle was in plain view. “I have a tattoo!”

  I leaned forward, running my finger on the tiny lightning bolt that adorned the inside of her ankle. Her breath caught the second I touched her,
which only made me want to linger there longer.

  Her gaze met mine. “That’s a rule-breaker,” she managed to say but only just. She was so caught up in my touch she could barely get a word out.

  Grinning, I pulled back. “Which house?” I asked, nodding to her tattoo.

  Seemingly impressed, she replied, “Ravenclaw. You?”

  “Take a guess,” I said.

  She looked at me, her lips scrunched to the side as she took an appraisal of me.

  “Gryffindor?” she said.

  “That’s correct! Or at least, that’s what my niece told me when she made me take the test one day in the office. I actually bought the first book, but I haven’t had the time to start it yet. Lizzie—that’s my niece—and her mom are obsessed with all things Harry Potter. Well, that, and a whole plethora of things I don’t understand.”

  “Well, the fact that you’re willing to take the time to learn about something for your niece is pretty cool.”

  “Lizzie’s pretty cool,” I said adamantly. “You’ll have to meet her sometime.”

  Her smile held warmth. “I’d like that.”

  “What’s another one?” I asked, liking this little game we’d started. It was fun to get to know her a bit better, and as an added bonus, it was an easy distraction from wanting to tear her clothes off.

  Well, almost.

  “Oh, um…” I could see the wheels spinning as she thought of another random fact. Suddenly, her eyes went to the waves nearby. “I haven’t been swimming since I was a teenager.”

  “What?” I exclaimed.

  Her hands found her face. She melted into them, covering her head in shame. “I know; it’s horrible.”

  “That’s…” I couldn’t even find the words. “Like, a decade!”

  “I know!”

  “Why? And are we talking all kinds of swimming? Pool, ocean? Not even a quick dunk in a Jacuzzi?”

  She just shrugged her shoulders.

  Her eyes finally met mine, and I couldn’t help the grin that tugged at my lips. It only grew when her adorable face appeared, so bewildered over her silly confession.

  “I was kind of a nerd in college,” she explained. “And I guess I just forgot?”

  “You forgot?” I echoed her words like they were just too ridiculous to be heard. “Who forgets to swim?”