Blind Devotion (Steel Jackals MC Book 1)

by Nancy Haviland

  He nodded absently. “Deep down you want to please me, and giving me this will easily do the trick. Gotta get a look at my prize.” Standing straight and tall, he stroked her hip before hooking his thumb under the edge of her panties. He slowly slid it down, lifting the material away from her body as he did. But it wasn’t until he reached that wet spot he’d mentioned that he pulled it aside.

  “Hello, sweetheart,” he greeted as Tish held her breath. The charming, wolfish tone he used effectively ended their conversation.

  For the moment.

  SEVEN

  The air escaped Tish’s lungs in a hot rush. She hadn’t had her body bared to another person’s eyes since she was a baby. Her boobs were one thing; her pussy was another. She watched from her perch as Josh swallowed, and then swallowed again as if his mouth was watering. After a couple of seconds, she noticed she was nodding again, in encouragement this time. He glanced up and smiled a little because he noticed, too.

  “Want me to describe what I see?”

  She knew what he was seeing. Her bare pussy. She kept it waxed because it made her feel sexy even though she wasn’t. “Not really.”

  The corners of his eyes wrinkled as his smile grew. “Do you masturbate, Tish?”

  “Yes.”

  He groaned. “Gotta see me some of that one day soon.” He looked over his shoulder at her bed. “Over there?”

  She nodded.

  “Do you use any toys on this little beauty?”

  She nodded again, feeling her cheeks flame, but she kept her head up.

  “What?”

  “I have a wand behind those books.” She pointed to her nightstand.

  “That’s my girl. If I fucked you with it pressed to your clit, you’d blow up for me over and over again.”

  “I know I would.” Impatience and yearning gripped her. When masturbating, she should have been using something other than the wand. Maybe she could have saved herself some discomfort.

  “Would you be self-conscious going through your routine if I was watching? Bring your ass a little closer to the edge.”

  Her routine? she thought as he gripped her hips and jerked her forward a few inches before she could move herself. Did she have a routine? “Tonight I would be.”

  “Because this is all new to you. If you were comfortable flashing yourself, I’d have wondered about that. I’d swear you haven’t stopped blushing for the last hour.” He made a rough sound low in his throat. “Once I have you worked up, all that’ll fade and you’ll be begging me to sink my cock into this gorgeous little slit.” He was looking between her face and her pussy now and seemed to have forgotten he’d said he wouldn’t actually fuck her. “But I meant once you’re used to this. Used to us. Will you perform for me then?”

  The idea of getting herself off while he watched had her blush spreading to the rest of her body. “I could probably have some fun teasing you.”

  “I want your feet up, your heels on the edge of this thing.” He tapped the top of the armoire as her mouth fell open.

  “What?”

  “Feet up. Right now, Tish. No more fucking around. How would you tease me?” He took her ankles, and she couldn’t believe she didn’t protest when he bent her legs and placed her heels just in front of her thighs. “Holy Christ,” he breathed when the position opened her right up. He raised his eyes and pinned her with a look so hot she could barely stand it. “You know how I hate repeating myself. Tell me how you’d tease me.”

  She measured the distance between her and his mouth. So close. “M-maybe if I t-tied you to a chair at the foot of my bed and used m-my wand…” She paused, remembering a shopping trip she and Nina had gone on shortly after they’d turned eighteen. “I have a dildo,” she blurted. “I’ve been afraid to use it. Nina and I bought it in a sex shop in Mesa. Maybe once you’ve broken me in, I can add it to the show and really get you going…?”

  He nodded and bent to her feet to kiss her arches without altering her position. He stayed down there. “In here? You’d push that fake cock in here, right, Tish?” That’s when he opened his mouth and sealed his lips around as much of her pussy as he could. Nothing registered but heat, until that first pass of his slippery tongue right down her middle.

  “Oh, my God,” she choked as he tasted her for the first time. She gripped the edge of the armoire and held on so tightly her knuckles protested with sharp little cracks. Without thought, her knees fell open, spreading her even more for him, her inhibitions gone.

  He groaned his approval and helped by clamping onto her flanks and holding her in place as he retraced his path. This time, he added more pressure and dipped inside before flattening his tongue to reach a larger area. Up and down he painted her, going deeper and deeper with each stroke. He darted around her clit, delivering teasing licks that made her shudder and moan. When the urge to beg him to fuck her came, she grabbed for the reigns and attempted to gain back some control. It felt as if she were blindly careening into something that was going to wreck her. She brought a hand to his head…and tried to bring him closer.

  Or was she supposed to push him away?

  No. Closer. She needed more pressure.

  But if she got it, she would die from the pleasure.

  She pulled him in anyway.

  He held back and made a tsk sound. “Not ’til I’m ready,” he growled. “But don’t worry, you won’t have long to wait.”

  He pushed a breath out of his mouth, and the heat from it drifted over the crease of her inner thigh. He settled in that spot, an inch away from her labia, and started sucking with long, deep pulls. He came off with a sharp snap, and she looked down to see a dark red circle.

  “Captured and tagged.” Back he went to her pussy, slipping his tongue directly into her opening. Her head fell back when he thrust inside a few times before traveling with a dragging lick from the bottom up. “You have any idea the fucking blue balls I’m dealing with down here by allowing my virgin some time to get used to all this before she takes my cock? Because you are going to take my cock. Can’t do this any other way. Don’t have what’s necessary to stay out of you.”

  He’d barely stopped licking at her to speak, and the vibration of his voice was an electric sensation against her clit that drove her mad. She made a sound she hoped he recognized as her eager agreement and knew if he kept this up, recited a poem or something, she’d come in a matter of seconds.

  “Do you like my mouth on you, babe?” He distracted her from the question by using his thumbs to spread her open, then he nibbled on her sensitive button with his lips covering his teeth. She wailed as a blast of pleasure flashed through her thighs and hit her in a spot that made her insides clutch and grasp for something solid. “Do you?”

  “Yes! God, yes! It’s hot and slippery and so fucking good.”

  “What’s good, baby girl?” He tipped her back with his hand on her stomach, stiffened his tongue as he extended it, and he licked her from ass to clit over and over until her hips began moving in an attempt to catch that strong muscle. She wanted it to fuck her. She needed it, or something, anything, inside her.

  “What you’re doing. Your mouth. Your tongue.” She could barely concentrate on what he was asking her.

  “Who’s the dirty bastard doing you so good, Tish-Tosh? Who’s making your pussy all juicy as he eats you?”

  “Mmm. You are.” She fisted his hair and pulled until he was more firmly against her.

  “Who am I?” he asked, his words now muffled.

  When she didn’t respond, he punished her by moving away from where she most needed him. He nuzzled her inner thighs and rubbed his goatee across her navel before dipping the tip of his tongue into her belly button. He even went down to rub his lips across the tops of her toes before sucking the baby one into his mouth.

  “Josh?”

  He looked up at her whimper and came off the small digit in the same way she’d come off his cock earlier. “Who am I?”

  “You’re my Josh.”
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br />   He went back to her pussy and soaked her when he swirled his tongue in quick circles from top to bottom. Her need once more rushed back, sharp and unrelenting.

  “Who am I, Tish?”

  Right then she knew she couldn’t resist. What was the harm in giving in to him when his reasons for wanting the title had been nothing like what she’d imagined?

  But as she opened her mouth to beg her master to finish her, he sent her spiraling by rubbing through her wetness and sliding two of his thick fingers deep inside her. “Who?” he repeated.

  “Yes! Finally!” She gripped her knees and threw her head back as her pussy clamped down. “Fuck me. Fuck me with them! Please!”

  “Who do you want to fuck you, Tish?” he demanded.

  “You, goddammit! Only you! You own me, okay? You know you do! Yes!” she wailed as he rewarded her by pumping hard into her. “G-god damn… Please, fuck me, Josh. I need to come so badly.”

  “Aw, Christ.” In the next second, she found herself empty again as she was wrenched from her high seat and thrown onto her bed. Josh positioned her on her hands and knees. “Drop that chest down. I want this ass in the air. Now,” he commanded as he gifted her right ass cheek a sound smack that stung.

  She cried out in surprise, and as her core pulsed in a delicious wave from the spank, she did as she was told. She hissed when she felt him use the perfect amount of pressure to slide his thumb from the wet rosebud of her ass to her over-sensitive clit.

  Then to her utter shock and disbelief, that magical digit disappeared and he did nothing. Long seconds ticked by, and then he was grinding out a round of curses. When she felt the mattress shift and still, she looked back to see him at her dresser scooping up his cut and going to the door!

  He stood there with his hand on the knob, his body stiff as a board, the tattoos all over his broad back rippling as if they were alive.

  “Josh Sylvan! Get back here!”

  He gave a tortured groan and shook his head hard enough to let her know he was trying to clear it. “Can’t do it like this. It’s backward.”

  She barely understood him, and when she realized why, she nearly came right then. He’d been sucking on his fingers.

  “I gotta get the hell away from you before I fuck you like a wild animal. I’ll hurt you, Tish. I’ll hurt you because I don’t have enough of a mind left to give a shit that this is your first time, and that’s fuckin’ wrong, too.”

  Too? she thought as he turned slowly. He thought what they were doing was wrong?

  When he came around, his chin was down near his heaving chest; his eyes were otherworldly bright as they locked on her, still open to him in the position he’d requested. “I want to consume your virginity. I want to eat it out of you. My cock wants to rip through it and absorb it because it’s all fuckin’ mine. Do you get that? Every part of you will belong to me once I’ve had you. Every part. And I will not make this memory a bad one. Not for either of us. I won’t.”

  Then he did it to her again. He slammed out of the room, and a second later, out of the house.

  Tish fell to her side and burst into frustrated, furious tears. “I want you to do all of that!” she cried as her body trembled with a desire she wasn’t sure would ever be sated.

  She lay there alone for what felt like forever, confused, wired, her mind spinning with too many questions and not enough answers. Finally, unable to stand it anymore, she crawled over and dragged her wand out from its hiding place on the bottom shelf of her nightstand. As she fell back against her cold pillows and a muted buzz filled the room, fresh tears fell. She held the rubber head to her clit, and the heavy vibration produced one orgasm after another, and through them all, Tish relived every touch and every dirty word Josh had uttered. Even though it had ended like this, tonight had still been one of the most amazing of her life.

  If only he’d stayed, she thought as she finally went limp and quiet filled the room after she pressed the off switch on the sex toy. If only he’d trusted himself enough to know he’d never hurt her. Trusted her enough to have told her what was giving him so much trouble, because there had been more in his eyes than the fear of causing her pain when he took her virginity. Maybe then the pleasure of her multiple releases wouldn’t have been so empty.

  And maybe the darkness that had been lifting little by little as they’d opened up to one another wouldn’t have had the opportunity to bear down and happily swallow her up yet again.

  EIGHT

  Covering her mouth to hide yet another yawn, Tish pushed through the doors and welcomed the late Monday afternoon heat. She moved off to the side of the promenade to avoid being run over by students rushing home or to their after-school jobs as she soon would be. Shivering, she tipped her face up to the punishing rays of the sun.

  She’d been frozen for days now. Before her mother had disappeared late Saturday morning, she’d laughed at Tish and asked her why she was so lazy, dragging her ass around the house with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Beneath that blanket had been Josh’s white T-shirt that he’d left behind—yes, she was that pathetic. She’d given her mother a cool look and told her if she couldn’t be nice she’d have to leave. Rachel had left.

  Just like Josh.

  Her head fell forward as the ache in her heart morphed into a pain-filled anger. Where was he? Who was he with? How many times had he had her? Had he exhausted himself? Exhausted the lucky bitch he was with?

  Tears burned her throat as she tried to breathe through the jealousy ravaging her as more questions came. Why hadn’t he come back? Did he regret the things he’d said to her? Had he meant them or had they been something he’d said in the heat of the moment?

  “Hey, you waited. I thought you said you were getting a ride to work with Brian.”

  Tish schooled her features before lifting her head to find a statuesque brunette standing beside her.

  Nina Samson, Tish’s best friend since grade five, was uniquely gorgeous with the darkest eyes and hair but was a tomboy right to the very bone. She made no more effort with her appearance than to scrape her hair into a messy ponytail and throw a pair of loose sweats over her tattooed limbs. Ratty Converse sneakers usually completed the outfit. Unless she was working. Then she donned shapeless coveralls and jammed a grease-stained cap on her head to shadow the smears of dirt and grime usually found somewhere on her flawless cheeks. She was a certified auto mechanic and worked together with her dad in their family’s shop in town. She would graduate at the same time as Tish, only she would earn a general accounting certificate rather than one in graphic arts.

  “I didn’t see him after all,” Tish lied. She’d seen Brian inside but hadn’t had the energy to call out to him. “Would you mind giving me a ride?”

  “Who was it you didn’t see? Him?” Nina raised an arched brow as she motioned to Brian, who was standing across the way having an intimate conversation with his girlfriend, Meredith.

  Tish didn’t have it in her to even be embarrassed. “Oh, yeah. That ride?”

  “Duh. Come on. During the drive, you can tell me what the hell is up with you today. I’m supposed to be the one who brings misery into this duo.”

  Tish chuckled as they started walking toward the back of the parking lot where Nina always parked her baby. “How’s your aunt?”

  Nina gave her an odd look. “Who?”

  “Your aunt. You said you were visiting her again. Isn’t that where you were?” Tish knocked her bag into Nina’s long leg. “If I sat by myself all weekend for nothing, I’ll kill you.”

  “Oh! Yeah. Uh, she’s good. I don’t call her Aunt Laine, though, just Laine, so that’s why I got confused. If you’d have said ‘how’s Laine?’, I wouldn’t have been so brain dead.”

  Nina unlocked, and they tossed their bags into the back before taking their places up front in the sexy Camaro SS she and her dad had refurbished. Tish quickly debated sharing what had happened on the weekend. She knew what privacy meant to Josh and was loathe to blab their p
ersonal business, but this was Nina, and Tish badly needed to talk.

  “Josh is home.”

  The breaks chirped, stalling the car’s progress out of the parking spot. Nina’s head whipped her way. “What? Your Josh?”

  At any other time, it would have made her heart skip a beat to hear him referred to as hers. Not today. “He sure isn’t mine,” she muttered as she motioned for Nina to go after the guy behind them beeped.

  After sticking her hand out the window and flipping the bird behind her, Nina got them moving. “How the hell? I thought he still had two more years to get through.”

  “Early release for good behavior. I didn’t know they did stuff like that.”

  “They don’t. So, that’s awesome for you!” As she pulled onto the street, she looked over. “No? Tish! I’d have thought you’d be pissing your panties with joy the second he came home.”

  “We got into it on Friday.” She pushed her palms into her tired eyes for a good rub. “We almost had sex, Nina.”

  “Whaaat? Shut your fucking mouth!”

  More beeping sounded behind them when her nutty friend sat there even after the light they were stopped at had turned green. She just stared over with her dark eyes wide with shock. “You’ve never fucked a man in your life, and you’re going to start with a behemoth like Josh? Holy shit, girl.” The solemn angel on the back of her hand flashed when she held it up for a high-five.

  Tish grabbed it and put it on the wheel. “Will you drive, you idiot?”

  “No. Seriously, give me some sugar. You just impressed the shit out of me. I thought the idea of taking a dick was disgusting to you. Should have known that would be true about any dick but his. How the hell would you have taken it, by the way?” She offered her palm again.

  “Nina!” Tish gave her the high-five.

  “I’m not kidding. Those guys don’t mess around. He’d have destroyed you. So why didn’t he? What happened?”

  “How can you talk so casually about something like that?” Tish’s stomach was hopping around with a remembered excitement she probably shouldn’t be feeling.