Mercy for the Damned

by Lisa Olsen

  “Thanks, but what is it?”

  “Don’t worry, it’s only tea. It will help soothe your stomach.”

  How she knew my stomach needed soothing was beyond me, but I was a little leery of drinking strange brews in my condition, even from a good witch. “Thank you, but I’m not all that thirsty,” I begged off, setting it down on the coffee table.

  “It’s safe for the bebe.”

  I froze with my hand still extended towards the cup. “How did you…?”

  “We see things, remember?” she smiled, taking a seat and nudging the mug towards me. “Take a sip, it will help, I promise.”

  Sitting down, I cupped the mug in my hands for warmth. “How many other people know? You didn’t say anything to Parker did you?” my eyes flew wide at the implications.

  “Calmate hermana,” she patted my shoulder. “I didn’t tell anybody.”

  “This thing is harder to keep secret than I thought it’d be,” I sighed, taking an experimental sip of the tea. It wasn’t bad, a little tarter than the blackberry I was used to, but not unpleasantly so.

  “Isn’t that why you’re really here? To talk about the bebe?”

  “Well… I know you have kids, and you seem to have all this knowledge about things I’m pretty clueless about, so I thought… I don’t know what I thought.” I hung my head.

  “What’s the problem? You’re not happy about the news?”

  “To tell the truth, I’m not sure how to feel about it yet, except for scared to death. Adam’s going to flip out when he hears about this, he really doesn’t want to have children. He’s been very clear about that.”

  “It’s not always up to us, is it?” she smiled as a loud bang sounded from overhead, followed by a rush of giggles. “I truly believe things happen for a reason. Talk to Adam, he can’t blame you for this, it’s something you created together.”

  “You don’t know him like I do. Trust me, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And considering what the past couple of months have been like for me, that’s saying a lot.”

  “I think you should give him a chance. You never know, Adam might surprise you.”

  Sipping my tea, I digested that for a few moments. “I am going to tell him, I just need a little time to get used to the idea myself.” That and I had absolutely no idea how to broach it with him at all.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  For the next couple of days I waited to pick the right moment, but there never seemed to be a good time to say “Hey, Adam, guess what? I hope that house of yours has room for a nursery.”

  It almost didn’t feel like the holidays to me at all, and it seemed a little foolish to go through the effort of putting up a tree so late in the game. Christmas Eve came and went, and we didn’t particularly celebrate it between Adam’s indifference and my nausea. So far I’d managed to put him off about that, telling him I had a light case of the flu, and the tea Luz made up for me helped with the worst of it. I didn’t object at all when he left to go “take care of some stuff”, spending the night watching A Christmas Story over and over with Nelo until I fell asleep on the couch.

  On the plus side, none of us had heard from Ben since my last confrontation with him. Neither was he staying at his townhouse, according to Adam, who assured me he’d gone there strictly on a recon mission to look for Azazael’s box.

  My mother called daily, but I begged off another visit, telling her I wasn’t feeling well, and I’d see her on Christmas. I felt bad ignoring her, but I didn’t have the energy to deal with her while I agonized over how to tell Adam the big news. I ran scenario after scenario through my head, discarding each one as insufficient or plain old lame.

  Why did people in the movies always have such an easy time of it? Should I wrap up a gift for him to open with little baby booties in it? Or buy him a #1 Dad coffee mug? If I thought it would work, I’d get a sonogram picture, put it in a Father’s Day card and wait for him to catch on, but all of those movie-type ideas sounded too kitschy.

  As Christmas morning dawned, I made a decision. No more lies. It wasn’t doing me any good to put it off any longer, I wasn’t getting less pregnant by the day. And why was I hiding Adam from my mother? I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. She’d meet him eventually, why not come clean and explain the little mix up about Parker? Not that I was ready to tell her about the baby yet though, that would be better served when she was safely back in California, otherwise she might never leave.

  I hadn’t given Adam my final answer yet about moving in with him either, but what was I so afraid of? Maybe in the back of my mind I equated sharing his house with giving up some freedom, but look at what I’d get in return. The chance to see Adam every day, to build a real life with him (especially with the baby coming) was too good to pass up. Not to mention money would be tight, and not having to keep my apartment would make things a lot easier.

  All of a sudden it dawned on me… I lay in bed making those life altering decisions when I’d fallen asleep on the couch. “Adam?”

  “Out here…” came the response, from the direction of the living room.

  Slipping on my robe and fuzzy slippers, I shuffled out of the bedroom, stunned to see a seven foot tree scraping the ceiling in the corner by the TV. Completely decorated with posh red and silver ornaments, the delicate white lights twinkled on and off, casting the room with a bright glow.

  Adam moved through the kitchen with ease, a hand towel slung over one shoulder while he expertly flipped a pancake up into the air and caught it with the plate. “You made it just in time, how do you want your eggs?”

  He’d gone though such an effort for me, I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wasn’t hungry in the slightest. “The pancakes are enough for me, is there any hot water?” Hopefully with some tea I’d even be able to eat a few bites. “When did you do all of this?”

  “I had a little bit of free time. Some of us don’t sleep away the best hours of the night,” he smirked, sliding the plate across the breakfast bar to me.

  “This is really sweet, Adam, thanks.” Eyes shiny with unshed tears, I blinked rapidly to keep from crying, my emotions running away with me.

  “Hey, don’t let that get around, I’ve got a rep to protect,” he pretended to frown. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

  I shook my head, it was a big deal to me. “No, I’m pretty sure this is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me before. The tree, breakfast… especially since you don’t even celebrate Christmas to start with.”

  “Eh, I can appreciate the sentiment even if the calendar is a bit off,” he shrugged it off. “Besides, you haven’t been eating much lately, I had to try and tempt you with something.” Setting the butter and syrup before me, he poured out a cup of steaming water for my tea.

  “Is this the kind of treatment I can expect if I move in with you?” I took a sip of the tea before it was even done steeping, craving the relief it brought.

  “If that’s what it takes,” he winked. “I’ll make you breakfast in bed every day.”

  “Okay then.”

  Adam blinked, “Okay then?”

  “Let’s do it. I’ll give my notice to the landlord tomorrow, and maybe I can move out as early as next month.”

  Vaulting the breakfast bar, Adam landed lightly on his feet, pulling me into an excited hug. “Hell, who cares about notice? You can move in tomorrow. I’ll make all the arrangements.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh over his eagerness. “How about you show me your place tomorrow? I haven’t even seen it yet.”

  “You’re gonna love it. We can go today if you want.”

  “I’ve got to spend most of today cooking, remember? After everyone goes home tonight you can show it to me if you want.” His enthusiasm was hard to resist, and I found myself eager to start the new chapter in our lives together too.

  “Alright, as soon as you’re done with your family we can take a drive. Unless you feel like stretching your wings a l
ittle?” he raised a brow.

  I hadn’t even tried calling forth my wings since the night we returned from Midian, and I had to admit, the idea of zooming through the night sky with him was awfully tempting. But my stomach gave a lurch at the thought of the heights and speed involved, and I rethought answering yes. “Maybe we should drive for the first time. I might be tired after having everyone over. But um, listen, I’ve been thinking…”

  “Uh oh…” A roll of the eyes was given, and I smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

  “Be nice. I was thinking, I don’t want to have any secrets between us.”

  “Everybody has secrets.”

  “Okay… well, I’d like to minimize the secrets between us. I want to tell my mother about you today, I’d like her to meet you.”

  “Really?” Adam’s face lit up with a surprisingly innocent smile. “You don’t think that will raise a lot of uncomfortable questions?”

  “It might, but I want her to know you, especially with… you know, the future. I don’t want to get into the whole angel thing, but the rest of it, where I’m in love with you, that part I’d like to share with her if you want to.”

  “I’d like that.” Adam leaned in to kiss me, and I felt my stress level go down from DefCon One to level Two. I just had to work up the nerve to tell him the rest of it, and I took another steadying drink of tea, but he beat me to the punch. “That sort of goes along with something I had in mind as well.”

  “Oh?”

  “Your present.”

  “I thought you said you didn’t celebrate Christmas?”

  “It’s not a Christmas present.” From his pocket, Adam produced a small velvet box. That wasn’t what I thought it was, was it?

  “Adam…” I didn’t have any other words as I stared at the little box in shock.

  “I know we’ve never talked about this before, but your mother did indicate that she has fairly strong opinions about you living in sin with a man who’s not your husband,” he smiled, opening the box to reveal a perfect princess cut diamond set in white gold, flanked by two smaller sapphires, the exact color of his eyes.

  “Oh, Adam,” I swallowed, hardly daring to reach for the beautiful ring. “Wait, you aren’t doing this because of my mother, are you? Because I don’t want you buying in to her guilt…”

  “I’m not doing this because of your mother, Mercy. I’m doing it because I love you, and I’m ready to keep loving you for all eternity. I know I’ve spent the past thousand and more years trying to forget my past and everything I lost, and for the first time, I feel like maybe I’m done paying for my sins. I feel like maybe I have a chance at true happiness. I don’t want to spend another sleepless night without you by my side. Merceline Renault, will you be my wife?”

  He took my breath away with the proposal, and I fell back against the stool, too stunned to answer right away, even though part of me shouted a resounding, yes! “There’s a chance I’m not immortal you know. We don’t know if I have enough Grace for that.” I felt that needed saying. All that talk about eternity… if it didn’t apply to me, marriage to me might not be anything like the picture he painted.

  “Then I’ll share the rest of my Grace to keep you with me forever.” Taking the ring out of the box, he slipped it over my finger while I watched. “Marry me, Mercy. You know I won’t stop bugging you until I get what I want.”

  “You don’t have to bug me.” I stared at the glittering jewel on my finger. “Adam, are you sure about this?”

  “Say yes. You know you want to.”

  “Of course I want to, but…”

  “Then… say yes.”

  “Yes,” I whispered, dizzy with excitement as he picked me up and swung me around, delivering a sizzling kiss that left me breathless. Already walking me backwards towards the bedroom, I remembered I still had to talk to him about the baby before we got too heavily into it. “What about my pancakes?” I murmured against his lips.

  “I’ll make you new ones afterwards.”

  “Adam, I think we should talk about…” I never got the rest of it out as he captured my lips in a slow, drugging kiss, making me forget everything but the havoc he played with my body. My Grace kindled to his, enveloping us both with a soft, golden glow as he gave me the rest of my Christmas present.

  Only after we both lay in a haze of pleasure, did I gather the strength to bring up the dreaded topic. There wouldn’t be a more perfect moment than when we both lay there, basking in the afterglow. It seemed like a natural segue into the possibilities of the future. Once more he’d been adamant about using protection, and I hadn’t objected. Even though it was a moot point, I hadn’t wanted to ruin the mood.

  “Adam?” I ventured, fingertips tracing lightly over the ridges of his abdomen.

  “Mmm?” He didn’t move or react beyond the single syllable response.

  “Now that we’re talking about getting married…”

  “We are getting married, not just talking about it. Hell, I’d blow off this Christmas thing in a heartbeat and do it today if you wanted to.”

  “Okay, now that we’re getting married,” I tried again. “Maybe we should talk about the future.”

  “What’s there to talk about? You move in with me, we get married, cue the happily ever after.”

  “Yes, but, after that. After I move in with you and we’re married and settled,” I swallowed, “In the future…”

  “I guess you can keep working if that makes you happy, but maybe you could scale it back a little? There are so many things I want to show you, places to go. Do you think Parker would object to a few months off for our honeymoon? I was thinking we could start with Fiji and then…”

  I listened to him spin a beautiful, glistening web of dreams where we traveled the world in style and luxury. Reaching the remotest of places, where only our kind could easily go, he truly did want to give me the world. It was up to me to bring him down to Earth, even though I hated bringing reality back into the picture.

  “That does sound wonderful,” I admitted, “but do you ever think what would happen if we ended up having a baby? That might put an end to those travel plans for a while, don’t you think?”

  “That’s one of the many reasons why we’re not having kids now or ever. I’d rather keep you all to myself. Think of it, Mercy, no responsibilities, no rules. We go where we want, when we want. You’re not worried about the money are you?” He leaned up to kiss the side of my temple. “I told you, I’ve got that covered.”

  “Okay, but things don’t always go as planned. What if it happens?”

  “We were very careful. As long as we keep being careful, it’s not a problem.”

  “Is that what it would be for you if we had a baby? A problem?”

  His eyes popped open, brows drawing together into a single dark line. “Mercy, you know it’s not an option. Not now, not ever. I thought you were on board with this.”

  “I understand what you’re worried about, really I do. But we both know the circumstances aren’t the same.”

  “Are you saying you want to have a baby now? Christ, we just got engaged, where is this coming from?”

  “No, having a baby now is the last thing I had in mind, but…” God, he was making it sound like I was this clingy girl who wanted an instant family, when that was far from the case. More than anything I wanted that life he’d shown was possible. I wanted to travel the world and not worry about anyone or anything more than spending time with the man I loved. But that wasn’t reality, not anymore.

  “Are you worried about bringing protection with us while we’re at the ends of the earth? Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.” Adam leaned up to drop a quick kiss to my cheek. “How about I make you those pancakes?” Sliding out of bed, he looked around for his jeans, tugging them on most of the way while he looked for his t-shirt.

  “No, Adam, I don’t want pancakes, I want to finish this conversation.”

  “Well, I don’t. You know, I don’t get women sometimes,
it’s like nothing we do is enough. I thought asking you to marry me would make you happy.”

  “It did, I am, I’m very happy. I just think we can’t bury our heads in the sand about this topic because it makes you uncomfortable. Sooner or later we…”

  “No,” he cut me off, shirt draped over one arm. “There is no sooner or later. We’re done with this topic. I’d rather enjoy the day if you don’t mind. Now… all of a sudden I’m in the mood for some bacon. I think I’ll pop down to the store and pick some up. When I come back, I’ll make enough pancakes for an army and I’ll let you bore me to death with wedding details. Sound good?”

  I opened my mouth to blurt it out. I’m having your baby… but nothing came out. He wanted to enjoy the day, and I did too. “Yeah, that sounds good,” I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything else. What would waiting one more day hurt?

  *

  Somehow I pushed away the worries and doubts, doing my best to live in the present, and enjoy the day for what it was - the first step to our future together. Daphne and Sam planned to stop by for drinks later in the evening, and Parker and Luz might even show up, so I looked forward to a full house before the night was through. Nelo ventured out to help me with the dinner preparations, and I promised him we’d have our very own celebration after my mother went home. I had a present under the tree for him to share with Mimsy, a smoked salmon nearly as big as he was, his favorite delicacy.

  I wondered how Nelo would react to the news that I was pregnant. Having an extra pair of hands to fetch diapers and wipes sounded appealing, but was I dooming my baby to some kind of failure if I raised it with a dark minion around? How the heck would I explain there were certain things like demons we didn’t talk about in polite society? I couldn’t ask the little guy to leave, he was as much a part of my family as Sam or Mimsy, and he’d never survive in the world on his own. Maybe people would assume Nelo was an imaginary friend, and besides, that was way in the future, no sense in borrowing more trouble than was already on my plate.