When We Kiss

by Louise, Tia

  Chad’s eyes are confused as they hold mine, and something’s violently jerking on my arm. I snap out of it when I realize I’m the only one still standing with Emberly trying to get me to sit.

  I drop into my seat, tucking my chin and blinking fast. I mouth the words, Oh my God, without saying them out loud, Emberly’s hand goes into mine, and I know she heard me even if I didn’t speak.

  Even my uncle’s shouting isn’t loud enough to cut through the roaring in my ears. I just have to get through thirty more minutes and the final prayer, then I can run out the door, all the way back to my house.

  In my mind, it’s like Travis all over again. It’s walking around behind Emberly’s bakery and seeing Daisy up against the wall with Travis between her legs sticking his tongue down her throat.

  Okay, it’s not as bad as that, but it sure feels that way. What the hell is he doing holding her shit and helping her take her seat in church? Why is she touching his arm like there’s something between them? What the fuck is up with that girl going after my man?

  Emberly nudges my arm with her elbow, and I look down to see she’s written in the margin of her program. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation.

  My lips tighten, and my nose gets hot. I take the tiny pencil and scribble back, So I’m not crazy to be upset?

  I press my elbow into her ribs and slide the program back. She looks down and reads then slowly shakes her head no.

  I take it back and add one more question, Does he sit with her every Sunday?

  Her lips press together, and she takes the little pencil out of my hands. I haven’t really noticed. I’m sorry.

  A painful knot is in my throat, and it has never taken my uncle this long to make us all feel like hell-bound sinners. Finally, he instructs us to bow our heads while God examines our hearts for secret sins.

  I don’t even care anymore. I stand and slip out of the pew in front of my best friend. Then I walk to the back door and push it open. It lets out a loud screech, and when I step out the door, a warm breeze pushes past my shoulders. I keep on walking, all the way home.

  Twenty-Three

  Chad

  The minute Bob Green says Amen, I’m ready to bolt.

  Daisy stands, holding my arm like we’re on some kind of date. We’re not.

  She called the station this morning saying her car wouldn’t start. Since I was standing outside after seeing my mother off, Robbie asked if I’d swing by and pick her up on my way.

  I wasn’t planning to attend the service. I’d told my mother I’d be home tonight for supper. As I expected, she was thrilled—and a bit smug, as if she’d won some sort of victory. She offered to wait for me, but I’d already rented a car. I made an excuse that I needed to be sure Robbie had everything under control.

  There’s no way in hell I’d go back to Charleston without my own transportation. I need to be able to leave when it’s time to come back, and I don’t intend to be gone more than a few days. I know my mother and her ways—she’d invent excuse after excuse to keep me there for good.

  So I hung around a bit longer to drive Daisy to church. I also wanted to try and see my girl one more time before I left.

  Not like this.

  What the hell was she doing in church this morning?

  “I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed a service more.” Daisy’s soft voice is at my shoulder. I turn from straining my eyes down the road after Tabby to studying the young woman holding my arm. “We just have to wait for Melody to be let out of Sunday school. Penelope usually gets her and her little sister Polly and Coco for us.”

  “Sure.” We’re down the short flight of steps, heading to where Emberly is glaring daggers at me from beside Betty Pepper. It’s not what you think!

  “Would you like to stay for lunch? I’m just having chicken, but—”

  “Hey, would you mind if I let Bucky drive you home?”

  We both speak at the same time, and her nose immediately curls. I know—Bucky Pepper smells like formaldehyde. He’s a taxidermist. He’s also a bit odd.

  “I just need to run a quick errand—”

  “It’s true, isn’t it.” She looks down at her hands. “You’re really serious about Tabby Green.”

  “You didn’t know?” I thought the whole town knew after my truck was parked outside her house that night.

  “I guess I don’t get out much.” She glances up at me. Round hazel eyes, hair the color of straw. Daisy’s sweet, but she’s not my Tabby. “Jimmy Rhodes keeps saying how you’re trying to steal his girl.”

  “Jimmy Rhodes.” It’s a part-growl, part-annoyed response.

  “Tabby’s so quirky, I thought… well, you always check in on Melody and me, making sure we’re okay. It seemed like…”

  My shoulders drop, and I do my best to say this as kindly as possible. “Did you think this was a date?”

  Her cheeks flame pink. “Of course not! You’re just being neighborly… Or a good Samaritan or officer of the law. Or—”

  “Robbie asked me if I’d give you a ride this morning.” I put a hand on her arms. “I do check on you and Melody. I also check on Emberly and Coco. I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea. I’m sorry—”

  Her lips press together, and she nods fast. “Thank you so much for your help this morning, Deputy Tucker. I’ll see if Donna White can give me a ride. I’m sure she can.”

  She trots off across the church lawn before I can finish apologizing, and I don’t have time to feel bad about it. I hustle to my truck and take off in the direction of Tabby’s house.

  When I arrive, everything is just like it’s been the whole last week—locked up tight as Fort Knox.

  Lifting my fist, I knock loudly. “Tabby, open up. It’s me. I need to talk to you.”

  I’m getting to know the outside of this door too well.

  “What do you want?” It opens fast, and I take a surprised step back when I see her. Mascara is smeared at her eyes, and her nose is pink from crying.

  Panic hits my chest. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  She sniffs loudly, but anger flashes at me. “Why do you keep coming here? Go sniff around some other girl’s door.”

  Even with her anger, her tears are like shards of glass in my stomach. I can’t believe she’s crying. I’ve never seen her cry. “I wanted to talk to you. I have to go—”

  She holds up a finger. “I’m just going to stop you right there, Chad Tucker, because I have something to say to you.”

  “Okay…”

  “I don’t know what the hell is going on between you and Daisy Sales, but I think she’s just perfect for you.” That slim finger is pointing at my chest now.

  “You do?”

  “You want some law-abiding family girl, someone who’s meek and easy to control? Well, she’s it. You can keep her barefoot and pregnant right here in this crummy little town, and I’m sure the two of you will be very happy.”

  “Tabby, that’s not what—”

  “I’m not finished!” Her voice gets louder, and I hold up my hands. “You are not to come here anymore. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear the seductive words coming out of your mouth. I don’t want to smell your…” She waves a hand between us. “Whatever that smell is that smells so good.”

  “You like how I smell?” For the first time in a week, the tension in my chest breaks. She likes the way I smell… My words are seductive? It’s like the sun rising over the ocean. She’s in love with me, and I’m a fucking blind-assed idiot.

  “Don’t change the subject!”

  “Are you finished?” My voice is gentler now, and she crosses her arms, glaring at me with watery eyes. She’s so beautiful when she’s feisty like this. “Stop crying.”

  I reach out to wipe her eyes, and she pushes my hand away. “Stop bossing me around.”

  “I can’t help it. It’s who I am.” I want to gather her to my chest and kiss those tears away. My arms ache for her. “Seems like you used to like me bossing you
around.”

  She lets that pass. “Why are you here?”

  “For starters, I’m sorry I raised my voice Friday night. I overreacted.”

  Her fury softens a notch. “We were both yelling.”

  “Still…” I think about what I’m about to say. “Tell me about your job. When does it start?”

  “I told you it’s none of your business.”

  I want to say everything about her is my business.

  I don’t.

  “Just tell me—how soon do they want you to start?”

  Her arms uncross, and she looks away. “I don’t know. It was pretty out of the blue. They liked the website so much, they asked if I’d like to join their team. I told them I’d have to think about it.”

  “So you haven’t told them yes?” I take a step closer.

  “No, but I’m going to.” Green eyes flash at me. “I just haven’t had a chance to get back to them.”

  “You said they offered you the job after the soft launch. That was on Wednesday. Why didn’t you say yes to them then?”

  She shrugs and looks away again. “It’s not good business to say yes that fast. It makes you seem too eager.”

  The warmth in my chest grows stronger. I’m not buying a word she just said. She didn’t tell them yes because she’s going to those places with me.

  But I’ll play along. “How long will they wait for an answer?”

  Her brow furrows, and she pinches those full lips together. “I don’t know. Why are you asking so many questions?”

  “Don’t tell them anything until I talk to you again. Will you do that for me?”

  “Are you trying to control me? Trying to put me in handcuffs again? It didn’t work, remember? It was a sign.”

  “A sign I need better handcuffs.” Her eyes narrow, and I put my hands on her waist, holding her closer.

  I don’t care if she’s mad at me, I want to touch her, make her stop being so damn stubborn. Only… it’s her stubbornness I love.

  “Will you just do this for me? Wait until I see you again before making any permanent decisions?”

  “What does that even mean?”

  Leaning down, I steal a kiss. It’s a quick one—just a parting hit off those sweet, sweet lips, no tongue. I know I’m supposed to ask permission first, but the little whimper in her exhale lets me know she isn’t offended.

  When I lean up, her eyes blink open slowly, and I give her a grin. “It means wait for me.”

  Twenty-Four

  Tabby

  Just like that, Chad Tucker leaves town without a word.

  It takes me a few days of holding my breath to realize he isn’t checking in at the bakery like he usually does. Emberly doesn’t bring him up. I won’t say his name, and I’m sure as hell not about to text him. I have my pride.

  The bruises on my wrists are almost completely faded, and every time I see those pale yellow marks, my insides ache. I miss Chad. I miss Andy.

  I make it to Wednesday until I finally break down and ask.

  “Robbie said he went back to Charleston.” Emberly’s rolling out fondant to cover the Queen of Heart’s dress for Melody’s birthday cake.

  Me and my big mouth. “Did he say for how long?”

  “I’m not sure he knows.”

  “He has to know.” I mutter, standing back to look at the Alice in Wonderland masterpiece my friend has created. “Daisy’s lucky I don’t stab this cake right through the middle.”

  “Don’t you dare!” Emberly cries. “That would be hurting me and Melody, not her.”

  “I know, I’m only fantasizing.” My arms are crossed and I walk back to the table where she’s working. “What is her deal, anyway? I tried to bury the hatchet, and she goes after my man again.”

  Emberly leans down to cut diamond shapes all over the now-flat white paste. “Technically, you had broken things off with Chad.” She straightens and holds her lower back a minute. “Were you ever even officially together?”

  “Yes!” I answer fast, although Emberly has a point.

  We only went on two official dates—the church fair was sort-of forced by Betty Pepper, and it ended up being annoying as hell. Then after our brunch, it pretty much turned into a week-long fuck-fest. My elbow is on the table, and I rest my chin on my hand, remembering those days. We were insatiable, stealing every moment we could get. In the ocean, in his cruiser, on my desk…

  “What impure thoughts are you having right now?” Emberly is leaning over the diamond pattern again, but she’s looking up at me with a grin. “Your cheeks have gone all pink.”

  I sit up straight on my stool. “I’m not thinking about anything!” It’s a lie. I was daydreaming about riding Andy and how good it feels.

  The bell over the door rings, and as if it couldn’t get worse, Jimmy Rhodes saunters in wearing that black leather jacket and jeans with his motorcycle boots. He walks right up to where I’m sitting and stops, doing a bangs swish.

  “What’s wrong with you?” I ask, crossing my arms just in case he has any ideas.

  “I came to tell you goodbye, girl. I’m heading out.”

  Emberly straightens and hurries over to where he’s standing. “Jimmy! Did you get the money? Are you going to Glendale?”

  He straightens, swagger gone, and gives my best friend a big smile. “I got it. I’m heading out today. Just finished packing.”

  Frowning, I look back and forth between them. “Get what? What’s in Glendale?”

  Jimmy whips his face around and gives me a smolder. “College. Will you miss me?”

  “Eh…” I don’t want to be mean, but my nose wrinkles involuntarily. “I think it’s really great that you’re continuing your education.”

  “I helped him write a grant,” Emberly explains. “He’s studying auto mechanics so he can start his own small business one day.”

  My eyebrows shoot up, and I nod. “Cool. Good work, Jimmy.”

  “You can call me Blade.” He does a little head twitch. “Sorry we never got the timing right, boo.”

  “Not your boo.”

  Emberly pats his arm in a motherly way. “I’m really proud of you. I bet you’ll make a great mechanic one day.”

  “Maybe I’ll come back here and open a garage.” He walks slowly to the door. “Maybe down by the filling station.”

  “That sounds like a great idea!” Emberly is too encouraging in my opinion.

  “Oh, and Tabby.” He points at me, and my eyebrows rise. “I give you my blessing to see the deputy.”

  “Your blessing?”

  He nods. “I think he really likes you. I’m sure he’ll be a better man once he gets a handle on that drinking problem.”

  “Chad does not have a drinking problem!”

  “Whatever you say, girl. Just remember, denial is more than a river in Egypt.” He pulls the door open and does a little finger salute at us. “Later, hot potatoes.”

  The door closes, and Emberly and I explode with laughing.

  “What the hell was he doing? Poor man’s James Dean?” I give her a finger salute. “Later, hot putater.”

  “He gives you his blessing,” she calls, returning to the fondant.

  “I’m so relieved.” The truth is I’m antsy as hell.

  Ever since yesterday, all I can think about is Chad’s last visit. The stolen kiss that curled my toes and melted my panties. The dimple in his cheek when he grinned, and the heat radiating from his eyes. It was pure possession, and no matter what I said, he knew he had me.

  Wait for me…

  Jesus, my butterflies have butterflies remembering the way he said those words.

  “If you can take a break from daydreaming, come help me lift this fondant over the queen’s skirt.”

  I hop off the stool and walk over to lift the opposite side of the soft, white pastry covering. I hold up my side as she quickly wraps it around the upside down triangle that formed the skirt.

  Stepping back, I watch as she smooths and cuts it, careful not
to ruin the perfect diamond design she made all over it. “I’ll just go back and paint the diamonds red and black.”

  “This really is an amazing cake. Let me take pictures of it for the website.”

  “Of course!” She looks over her shoulder at me, then her eyes go wide. “Oh, hell, look what time it is! Would you mind picking up Coco from preschool for me?”

  I glance up at the clock to see it’s almost three. “Sure. Want me to bring her back here?”

  “No, she’s staying with Mamma a few more weeks. It still gets too hot at night for her to be comfortable here with me.”

  “I don’t know how you stand it.” Emberly’s loft apartment over our heads gets hot as blazes by the end of the day with no air conditioning. “You know you can come and crash with me if you need to.”

  “I know.” She takes a step back and looks around, over her head. “But I turn the ceiling fans on high and leave the French doors open. The heat breaks eventually, and I like being here, even when it’s the dog days. Makes me feel one step closer to having it all.”

  “You’ll get there.”

  She gives me a warm smile as she takes down the small glass bowl she uses to mix colors. “Better hurry. Mamma wants to go to prayer meeting tonight.”

  “I swear, that woman has Coco in church every time the door is open, poor thing.”

  “She doesn’t want her to turn out like us.”

  “What’s wrong with us?”

  “Oh! Hang on.” Emberly puts the black mixture down and hops over to the refrigerator. “While you’re out, run this down to the Blue Crab. They ordered a cheesecake for desserts.” She takes out an oversized box.

  “Hey, that’s awesome! Only… I was thinking I’d just take the bike.”

  I was secretly hoping a little exercise would ease the pain of missing Chad.

  “So take the bike! I do it all the time.” She picks up the bowl of black food coloring and a paintbrush and returns to the queen.

  “It’s like two miles! Come get me if I’m passed out on the side of the road.”

  She laughs, and I pull the door shut, balancing the cake box. Just as I turn, here comes Daisy Sales walking up the hill towards me.