Fashionably Fabulous: Book Eleven of The Hot Damned Series

by peterman, robyn

  Well, that was certainly news to me. “I have a mother?”

  Now everyone was uncomfortable. I was excited and terrified, but mostly terrified because of the looks on the faces of the Fairies in the room.

  “Okay, I’m getting the feeling that my mother was a butthole or something even worse. Someone needs to talk. Now.”

  “Your mother was one of the loveliest Fairies to ever grace this Universe,” The Reggie said with a serene smile.

  “Was?” I questioned.

  The Reggie’s eyes filled with tears and he looked away.

  “She’s gone,” The Shelia said, one of the few not afraid to tell me things that wouldn’t make me happy. “And she wasn’t a butthole at all. The Jewel was lovely inside and out. She was murdered.”

  “Well, what the ever-lovin’ fuck?” I snapped as I waved my hand and put a pair of fuzzy pink earmuffs on Mina. I was not in the mood to watch my mouth—at all. Thankfully Lady Gaga got the message and nudged Mina out of the room to play in the foyer.

  “Do all the Queens of Zanthia get offed? Is that what I have to look forward to? And why the heck wasn’t my mother reincarnated? Why in the Hell am I the Queen if the dead Queen is supposed to keep coming back over and over again?” I ended on a shout.

  The Shelia didn’t even try to hide her grin. “God, how I’ve missed you.”

  “That’s great and all,” I said with yet another large eye roll. “But you haven’t answered my question.”

  “You are the true Fairy Queen—the one that we have waited for. Your mother was as aware of this as everyone else. She held your place for thousands of years until you and your sister came along.”

  “An heir and a spare?” I asked, absorbing the shocking fact that I had a sister. A mother I didn’t know about was quite a bombshell. A sister was a double freakin’ whammy. Maybe I would like her…

  “Oh no,” The Reggie said with a shudder. “Never a spare. There is only one true Fairy Queen, and that, my dear, is you—and always will be. That is why you will always come back to us.”

  Mulling this over, I walked over to the couch and flopped down in it. Finally, everyone took a seat. I wasn’t going to win all the pomp and circumstance wars, but as long as they kept the using thumbs up, I’d have to be happy.

  “I have a sister?” I asked as I watched everyone in the room blanch. Oh shit…

  “Had,” The Shelia said carefully. “You had a sister.”

  “She was murdered with my mother?” I asked, racking my brain for a memory.

  “Umm… no,” Susu, who had been unusually quiet, said. “She was the one who murdered your mother.”

  “Of course, that has never been proven, but…” The Reggie trailed off.

  My human life, as unloved by a parent as I’d been, was starting to sound really appealing. My Fairy life sounded like a fucking Jerry Springer show on crack where everyone ended up with a lifetime jail sentence.

  “Mmmkay,” I said, still unable to remember any of this crazy story they were feeding me. “If my sister killed my mother, and my sister is no longer alive, who killed my sister?”

  The flashes in my head came fast and furiously. I saw a face—a sneering face of a beautiful blonde woman. Who was she? Was the evil vision in my mind my sister?

  Pressing my fingers to the bridge of my nose, I tried to slow the myriad of images racing through my brain. There was also another woman. She was lovely and her smile pulled at my heart… The Jewel. My mother.

  The other woman? She had to be my sister. I had a face but no name or any other memory of her.

  “I’m sorry… not sorry,” Susu said, wringing her hands and darting around the room in distress.

  “Not following,” I said, getting an odd sensation in my stomach. The crystal at my neck heated up and butterflies filled my insides.

  “I ate her,” Susu screeched, turning flips in the air like a bat out of Hell. “Well, her head. I ate her head and it tasted like shit. I didn’t exactly kill her, but I ate her, and I’d do it again. Prince Ethan killed her.”

  “Ripped that stanky bitch’s head right off her body,” Martha chimed in.

  “Well deserved,” Jane grunted. “The Corrine was one crazy bee-otch.”

  WTF? If I hadn’t been seated, I would have dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. The Corrine was my sister? My sister killed me? And our mother? The woman who had tried to take over Zanthia was my sister? What were the fucking odds?

  “You know,” I ground out, trying to hold onto my temper as silver glitter swirled through the room. “It might have been nice if someone had filled me in on some of this shit. I’m kind of working blind here. Do I have a deadbeat dad lurking around too?”

  “Your father has always been kept a mystery. We are a matriarchal society,” The Bob explained. “And the Royal Family has been more of a mystery than most in our history.”

  “It’s not a mystery to me,” Susu volunteered from across the room, clearly still worried that I might be upset that she ate my sister.

  “You know who it is?” The Reggie asked, as he too had to sit.

  His action made me think he was my freakin’ father. Actually, that wouldn’t be all that bad. I liked him.

  “I do know,” Susu said, hanging her little head in shame. “But first I have to know if Gemma still loves me.”

  “I love you, Susu. I will always love you. However, if you tell me something seriously shitty like The Kev is my father, I will no longer love you,” I told her.

  Her giggle filled the room and she literally back flipped over to me and kissed me on the nose. “Silly Queen. Of course, The Kev is not your father.”

  “Thank God for that,” I said, breathing a real sigh of relief. With everything that had gone wonky since I’d arrived in Zanthia very little would surprise me now. However, that would have ruined my freakin’ life.

  “Do you want to guess?” Susu inquired with wide eyes and her tiny hands clasped together in excitement.

  “Umm… no. I do not want to guess,” I said, unable to feel any excitement at all. I was lucky I hadn’t completely lost my shit yet. All the new revelations were absolutely frightening. “While normally that appeals to me, not today. And considering I don’t know any other Fairies than the ones in this room, it might take a while. Is he here?”

  “In Zanthia?” she asked, confused.

  “No. In this suite.”

  “No, silly Gemma! It’s The Dave,” Susu announced to a stunned room of Fairies.

  “No fucking way,” The Shelia shouted and threw her hands in the air. “I cannot be attracted to my brother’s girlfriend’s father. How in the Hell did I not know this?”

  “None of us did,” The Reggie said, still stunned. “But it makes sense.”

  “How?” I asked. “Nothing I’ve fucking heard since I got to this freak show has made sense.”

  “It makes sense that The Corinne had The Dave imprisoned for centuries. Surely he would have ruined her plans to become the false Queen,” The Bob said, seating himself next to The Reggie.

  “I’m surprised she didn’t have him killed,” The Henry said, dazed by all the new information.

  I wasn’t dazed. I wasn’t astounded. I was pissed. I’d grown up with a human mother who didn’t love me at all and I had a freakin’ live dad living it up in Zanthia?

  “So let me try to get this clusterfuck straight,” I said, pacing the room as bursts of silver and gold magic exploded around me covering everyone in the suite.

  “Go for it,” Susu shouted, giving me a thumbs up.

  The other Fairies quickly copied Susu’s show of respect and I almost laughed—except nothing that had been said in the last five minutes was even remotely funny.

  “I’m the reincarnated Fairy Queen born to a random human who didn’t seem to like me much, which totally sucked by the way. My mom—from my prior Fairy life—was The Jewel who got it on with the still living and breathing The Dave, who by the way never even sent me so muc
h as a fucking postcard during my entire shitty childhood. This is the very same The Dave who imprisoned the love of my life and almost killed him, which does not bode well for any kind of father-daughter relationship.”

  “You go gurl!” Susu squealed, buzzing around the room like she was on speed. “However, I have to point out that The Dave was imprisoned by The Corrine the day you died five hundred years ago.”

  “Okay, fine,” I snapped as I continued to pace the suite. “Maybe he didn’t have access to a post office. I can let that one slide. And then, buttloads of freakin’ centuries ago—which I still can’t wrap my fucking head around—The Jewel gave birth to me and the heinous ho-bag who ended up trying to kill all of us and succeeded twice. Twice, as in she murdered our mother and then offed my ass as well.”

  “Nasty fucking smelly hooker,” Jane said, shaking her head.

  “Never been so happy to see a skank get her head ripped off in my life,” Martha added. “The sound of it was motherhumpin’ awesome.”

  Wrinkling my nose at the disgusting visual, I almost forgot what I was talking about, but not quite.

  “Soooooo then my Guardian Angel ate my lovely sister’s head after my BFF’s mate killed her because my sister was trying to kill Astrid’s baby and take over the world. And to add insult to injury—pun very much fucking intended—according to The Reggie, it might not have even been The Corrine who killed me. My killers might still be on the loose in Zanthia? I seriously do not understand assmonkeys who think taking over the world is a solid plan. So now I’m back and I’m supposed to fix this hot ass mess that I didn’t make? Is that about right?” I snarled.

  “Amen sis-tah!” Susu shouted.

  “Unreal,” I snapped and punched another hole in the wall.

  The Henry didn’t even try to fix this one.

  The Fairy dust was coming fast and furious. My mind was a jumbled mess and I couldn’t figure out what to do next.

  Kill The Dave? I’d certainly end any hopes of a family reunion if I did that.

  Did I deal with the Dark Fairies? Shit. I would have to show my ass if I went that route. Satan had warned me not to reveal myself unless I was going to take on my destiny.

  “Balls,” I muttered as I looked for a wall that wasn’t plaster. Plaster sucked. Both of my hands smarted badly now and my knuckles were raw.

  Maybe I could punch a door. Wood was softer than plaster.

  “I wanna punch something,” I grumbled.

  “Punch Jane,” Martha yelled, offering Jane up as a sacrifice. “Everybody knows the ugly asswhacker deserves it. Punch her!”

  “What the fuck, you old buttbag from Hell,” Jane grunted as she tackled Martha to the ground. “I oughta knee you in the bits for that one, you smelly wanker.”

  “Enough,” The Shelia said, yanking the old biddies apart and tossing them to opposite sides of the room.

  “Just tell me this,” I growled as I continued to pace the room like a tiger trapped in a cage. “Is there anything else pertinent I need to know?”

  “You’re pregnant,” The Kev said, standing in the doorway to the suite looking gorgeous but weak. “You’re pregnant with our child.”

  And the room went black. But right before it did, I felt the floor connect with my face.

  There was only so much information a brain could process before it shut itself down.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I opened my eyes to the most beautiful sight in the world. The Kev stood over my bed and stared at me with such intensity and adoration that I felt naked. It was perfect.

  “Umm… call me crazy, but I think the wrong person is in the bed,” I said with a smile as I sat up and cupped his cheek with my hand. My world, as crazy as it was right now, felt balanced because The Kev was with me.

  “Then scoot over, Crazy,” he commanded with a wide lopsided grin that made my insides tingle.

  “Will do, Bossy Man,” I replied with a giggle as he laid his huge body next to mine. “How do you feel?”

  “I could ask you the same thing,” he said, gathering me in his strong arms.

  “True, but I wasn’t wrapped in iron and tortured hourly,” I pointed out, laying my head on his chest and breathing him in.

  Kissing the top of my head, The Kev sighed. “I’m alive thanks to you. I’m not at full strength right now, which is not the best case scenario, but I can fight. My magic is iffy though.”

  “Okay,” I said, as my brain began to register all I’d learned today. However, one thing stood out far more than all the others. “We’re having a baby?” I whispered.

  “Your wish will always by my command,” he said, pulling me even closer. “Forever, my love.”

  “My wish timing might be a little off,” I said, burying my face in his chest.

  “Nonsense,” he said with a chuckle. “Everything happens when it’s meant to happen.”

  “You’re not mad?” I asked, still hiding my face in his chest.

  Gently lifting my chin so my eyes rose to meet his, The Kev leaned in and kissed my lips. His kiss told me more than his words could ever say. It was full of promise and love and everything else good in this world.

  “Mad is not exactly the word that comes to mind,” The Kev said softly, tracing my lips with his finger. “Overjoyed, humbled, scared, and completely in love with whomever is hitching a ride in your stomach at the moment. And not to mention, head over heels in love with you.”

  “Well, this certainly explains why I’ve been so hungry,” I said with a giggle as I touched my stomach with wonder and awe.

  “And what is it that you’ve been craving, lover?” The Kev inquired as he placed his hand over mine.

  “Pretty much everything, but mostly bread.”

  “Your wish is my command,” he said, waving his hand.

  Gasping, I almost decked him for using his magic on a whim of mine, but I was so hungry I didn’t have the heart to wallop him for being my prince in shining armor. Loaves of warm crusty French bread, muffins, scones, cakes and even flaky circle bread sat atop beautiful silver platters all over the king-sized bed. There were jellies and jams, honey, peanut butter and even a small crystal bowl filled with cinnamon and sugar. It was positively orgasmic.

  “Oh my God,” I said as I dove at the feast and tore off a huge hunk of the French bread. “Are you gonna to still love me when I’m the size of a barn?”

  “I will love you until the end of time, Gemma,” The Kev said with a delighted laugh as I shoved the bread into my mouth. “No matter the size, the form you choose to take, or the place you want to raise our children.”

  That certainly gave me pause. One because I was pretty sure I only had one baby inside me. But mostly because of the last part of his statement…

  The delicious bread now tasted like cardboard in my mouth. Shit.

  “What exactly are you saying?” I asked, not making eye contact. I had a ton of unsettling feelings rushing through me that I didn’t understand. All I wanted to do was leave this horrible place. I’d said it repeatedly, but now that The Kev was making the reality possible, I didn’t know how I felt. There were so many innocent people in grave danger here.

  “I’m saying that if you want to leave Zanthia, I will take you away.”

  Closing my eyes, I prayed I could hold back my tears, but I failed. The Kev reached for me, but I moved out of his range. I couldn’t take his comfort right now. I needed to think for myself and figure out what the Hell was the right thing to do.

  “The Light. The Light Fairies and all the children,” I said, tearing a flaky circle bread apart piece by piece. “I want to take them with us if we leave.”

  “They will not leave their land, Gemma. This is their home—their destiny. It’s what they know.”

  “It’s awful,” I snapped, glancing up at the man I loved.

  He nodded and ran his hands through his hair. “It wasn’t always like this.”

  My stomach tingled and I placed my hand protectively over my unborn chi
ld. This place was his or her home as well. Did I have the right to leave? Did I have the right to leave all the people suffering when I could possibly make it right… for them and my baby?

  Shitshitshitshitshitshit.

  “This is your home too,” I said to The Kev. “It’s what you know—your destiny.”

  “My home is with you and you are my destiny.”

  “And mine is with you and the little Fairy in my tummy,” I said, feeling an odd sensation. I couldn’t place it and I wondered for a brief moment if my baby was trying to tell me something.

  “It’s a girl,” The Kev said.

  I stared at him in surprise. “How do you know?”

  “She just told me,” he replied with a joyous laugh as he gently touched my stomach. Silver Fairy dust spilled from his fingertips and covered our joined hands.

  “Why didn’t she tell me?” I demanded, looking down at my flat, sparkling stomach and feeling left out.

  “She tried, my lover,” The Kev explained. “You’re blocking right now. It will happen when the time is right.”

  I pondered that for a moment as I picked up a blueberry muffin and bit into it. I had so many questions for the little girl growing inside my body. “Is she happy I’m her mom?”

  The Kev nodded and smiled. His beauty still slayed me. I certainly hoped our little girl looked like him.

  Wincing slightly, I blurted out my next question. “Umm… does she want to stay in Zanthia?”

  I was cheating by putting a whole lot of pressure on someone who wasn’t even born yet and I was trying to get my child to make a decision I needed to make.

  Quirking a brow, a smile pulled at The Kev’s lips. “Our daughter will be happy wherever we are.”

  “Shit. I was hoping for a more definitive answer,” I said, flopping back on the pile of pillows.

  “Yep, I know,” he replied with a chuckle. “What shall we name her?”

  “No clue. Would she like to weigh in on that?” I asked, thinking how odd it was to be communicating with a being only a few days old.

  “Nope, she’s good with whatever we choose for her.”

  “Mmmkay.” I was at a loss. “This is a hard one. We have to find the perfect name.”