Fashionably Fabulous: Book Eleven of The Hot Damned Series
Page 16
“True,” The Kev said, stealing part of my muffin and popping it into his mouth.
If there hadn’t been twenty more on the platter, I would have fought him for it. I was that hungry.
Sighing, I wracked my brain for the perfect name. As a little girl, I’d never played the game of making lists of what I would call my children. I was too busy surviving my own sad childhood to even consider having one of my own someday. But love changes many things.
“I’m scared to get it wrong,” I admitted. “What if she hates it? And then hates me because I came up with it?”
“Not gonna happen,” The Kev told me. “I might have a name…”
“You might?” My stomach tingled and I was pretty sure the little person inside me was trying to tell me that her daddy was onto something good.
“I do,” he said with a sly smile. “You love Michael Jackson.”
“Yep. That’s an indisputable fact, but not more than I love you—although I love him a lot,” I added with a giggle. “However, naming our daughter Michael Jackson is kind of weird. You feel me?”
“I most certainly do,” he said, copping a feel of my butt to my great delight. “Since you’ve already used Diana, as in your fabulous alias, Dirty Diana, I was thinking… Billie Jean.”
My squeal brought The Shelia, The Reggie, The Gus, The Henry, The Bob and Susu barreling into the room.
“What’s wrong?” The Shelia demanded with a dagger drawn, scanning the room for danger.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I said, throwing a flaky circle bread at her. “Everything is so right, I’m pretty sure I’m going to burst.”
“Wanna explain, Dairy Queen?” Martha grumbled with her fangs out as she and Jane brought up the rear of my protection posse.
“My little girl has a perfectly beautiful name!” I shouted and shoved a scone in my mouth.
“And what would the name be?” The Reggie inquired, grinning from ear to ear.
“Her name is…” I started, wanting to draw it out as long as I could. Chewing and swallowing the huge piece of scone I’d put in my mouth bought me a little more time. It was all kinds of awesome.
All my friends leaned forward in anticipation.
“Her name is Billie Jean!”
“Oh my God,” The Shelia said with a laugh as she crossed the room and hugged me tight. “That could not be more perfect.”
“Right?” The Kev said, beaming. “And I came up with it.”
“He did,” I said, hopping off the bed and into his arms. “Billie Jean will be the most loved baby in the history of babies.”
“You found her!” Susu said as she zoomed around the room leaving a sparkling lavender happy magic behind her.
“Found who?” I asked, not following.
Susu froze midair and tilted her head. “You don’t know who I mean?”
“Umm… nope,” I said as the crystal at my neck grew warm.
“Think,” Susu said. “Think hard, my Queen. The answer is inside you.”
The realization hit me hard and fast. I was glad The Kev was holding me. How did Fate and Satan know? And even though the Devil had said I owed him nothing, I knew I would owe him and Fate for eternity. The crystal at my neck would protect the Demon Fairy inside me.
“BJ,” I whispered, clasping the crystal. “BJ has been with me the entire time.”
“Now I’m not following,” The Kev said.
“Satan gave me a crystal—actually Fate gave it to him to give to me. He told me never to take it off until there was peace in Zanthia and that it would protect a Fairy Demon girl with the initials BJ. It has to be Billie Jean.”
The Kev pressed his forehead to mine and sighed. “That must be his repayment for what he had to do to me.”
“No. He said I owed him nothing for this. Nothing.”
The Kev squinted his eyes in doubt. “Satan always has a price.”
He was correct and I was beginning to realize what that price might be. We would not owe Satan for this favor bestowed, but he would still gain… possibly. The Devil was a smart bastard. Now more than ever, I needed to either prove I never made the law banning Demons or change it. Period. My daughter and my mate’s lives were at stake.
Sliding out of The Kev’s arms, I snapped my fingers and dressed myself in battleware—Prada from head to toe. “I need to speak with our guests.”
“But you and The Kev should both be resting,” The Reggie insisted firmly.
“Nope,” The Kev and I said in unison.
I grinned and took his hand. “I have a plan.”
“Is it an ass yank plan?” Jane inquired, putting a dozen scones in her purse that she couldn’t even eat since she was dead.
“Partially,” I said with a laugh and handed her a cake.
“Sounds fucking good to me. I’m in,” she said with a thumbs up.
“Me too,” Martha said. “Our concert isn’t until tomorrow night so I’m free to fuck things up till then.”
“You don’t even know what the plan is yet,” I told the dummies.
“Don’t matter,” Martha said with a cackle. “I’m always up for a shitshow and you haven’t disappointed yet.”
“Thank you… I think,” I said as I led my inner circle back out to the living room of the suite.
I had a half-assed, potentially disastrous, potentially brilliant strategy to set in motion.
* * *
“How many Light Fairies are there?” I asked The Jennifer and the others we’d saved from the dungeon of the Magic Mystery Castle.
“In Zanthia proper or outside of it?” she asked, with her thumb raised high in the air.
“The Jennifer?” I said, politely.
“Yes?”
“You can put your thumb down now.”
“Oh yes, my Queen,” she said, turning a bright pink. “I was unsure if when we spoke with you we should use the sign of respect.”
“Umm… no,” I said, biting back an un-Queenly giggle. “It replaces the bow. After that, just be normal.”
“Of course,” she replied going down to her knees and then jumping quickly back to her feet. “Sorry. Habit.”
“No worries,” I told her. “So there are suburbs of Zanthia?”
The Jennifer’s lovely brow wrinkled in confusion and she shook her head. “Suburbs? I don’t understand.”
“The Light Fairies that live outside of Zanthia,” I said, trying to make myself clear. “Are there areas with homes outside of Zanthia?”
“No,” The Reggie said, following my train of thought. “There are no habitable living areas outside of Zanthia. Maybe a small safe house here and there, but nothing substantial.”
WTF? “Okay, then how many Light Fairies live inside Zanthia and how many don’t?”
“Probably about a thousand within Zanthia, give or take a few hundred because the Light go Gray daily now,” The Bob chimed in as The Jennifer nodded in agreement.
“And outside Zanthia?” I pressed.
All were silent and looked distressed. This wasn’t working for me. I needed info and I needed it now. Half-assed plans worked far better with as many details as I could get.
“Tens of thousands,” The Kev said, moving to my side. “We have no clue how many are surviving now.”
“Surviving what?” I demanded, not liking the sound of any of this.
“The jungle,” The Kev said. “They’ve run for their lives from the Dark and are trying to make a go of it in the wild.”
Pink and gold Fairy dust exploded around my head and everyone ducked—including The Kev. “That’s total bullshit,” I shouted. “And it does not work for me.”
“It’s what we have to do to survive,” The Jennifer explained.
“And the orphans roaming the street?” I yelled as my Fairy dust ramped up making it difficult to see.
“We are on our own,” Mina whispered as she pulled on the hem of my dress.
Mina’s touch calmed me immediately. Hurting her or the others in the suite
was not my intention—ever. Closing my eyes and gritting my teeth, I pulled back the storm of magic that swirled dangerously around the room.
“I’m sorry,” I told my people. “I’m a little emotional right now.”
“Being knocked up can do that to a freak like you,” Jane pointed out with so much pink Fairy dust in her hair it looked like a glittering wig.
“Yep, well, them’s the breaks,” I said as my brain wheels began to turn so fast I had to sit. It wasn’t memories coming back to me. Nope. It was a plan and it wasn’t too half-assed. Well… a little, but that was how I rolled.
“How many floors are in the Plaza?” I asked The Reggie.”
“Twenty. We have the entire fifth floor at the moment.”
“Great,” I said, clapping my hands together. “How many people can each floor hold?”
“There are three hundred suites. Each suite can hold ten comfortably. The grand ballroom on the main floor can hold a thousand. There are several restaurants and many conference rooms. I’d add at least another two thousand,” The Reggie guesstimated.
“Give me a grand total. Math isn’t my thing,” I told him with a shrug and a grin. Couldn’t be good at everything…
“Six thousand comfortably. Ten thousand, if we pack it tight.”
I checked in with The Kev and he winked at me. He’d seated himself, leaned back casually and crossed his legs. Pride was written all over his sexy face. I felt ten feet tall. The man had no clue what I was about to do but was going to support me no matter what. That was true fucking love.
“Martha and Jane, you ready to pull a rock star temper tantrum?”
“Fuck to the yes,” Jane shouted and pumped her scrawny fist in the air as Martha began to twerk in excitement.
“Excellent,” I said, staring at the ceiling until Martha completed her twerk. “The Shelia will take you to the front desk. You will demand that the hotel be cleared of all Fairies until the concert is over. If they balk, you threaten to leave Zanthia.”
“Even staff?” The Sheila asked, taking notes.
“Yep. No staff. My guess is that we’ll have people who can do what we need shortly.”
“Not following,” The Shelia said, looking up from her pad.
“You’re not supposed to yet,” I said with a grin. “Mina, do you know where the other orphan children are?”
She nodded and her blue eyes welled up with tears. “Yes, we hide under the bridges and sleep there at night.”
“Not anymore,” I muttered, feeling my angry magic bubble close to the surface. “Not anymore. The Jennifer, can you and the other nine track the Light that are roaming the jungle safely?”
“We can,” she nodded and began to smile. “We definitely can.”
“Outstanding,” I said giving her a thumbs up.
Her eyes grew huge and she became flustered as I honored her with the Royal Greeting. Whatever. All of these lovely freaks were going to have to come to terms with the fact that everyone was fucking valuable—not just me.
Glancing over at The Kev for support, he chuckled and gave me the thumbs up. He was so damned hot, my mouth watered. If I had an hour of downtime I would so do him, but business before pleasure.
“Sooooooo, here’s the half-assed plan. The Shelia, Martha and Jane will clear the hotel due to a fucked up rock star Vampyre tantrum like no one has ever witnessed.”
“Roger that,” Jane said, snapping her fingers and dressing herself and Martha in purple assless chaps, green sequined boob tubes and black orthopedic shoes.
I looked away before I gagged or laughed. There was more shit to be done and I had no time to puke.
“The Bob, The Reggie, The Henry and The Gus, you will take Mina and Lady Gaga and find every single orphan child in Zanthia. Once the Plaza is cleared you will magically transport them all back here. Make sure they are bathed and fed.”
“We will heal any in need,” The Reggie promised with a delighted smile and a thumbs up.
“Perfect. The Jennifer and the others will case the jungle and transport every single Light Fairy back to the hotel. Make sure all are comfortable and fed and forbid them to leave until I give the order. If we have more than ten thousand, have them wait on the perimeter of Zanthia.”
“We can do that,” The Jennifer said with so much enthusiasm that she dropped to the floor and bowed. Of course, all the other Fairies followed suit.
“Duuuuudes,” I snapped as the flustered Fairies quickly jumped to their feet and produced the thumb.
“Sorry,” The Reggie said with an embarrassed laugh. “It might take a while to break us of the habit.”
“No worries,” I told him. “Just work on it. And please spread the freakin’ word that we are using the thumb now instead of the bowing which makes me itchy.”
“Will do,” came a chorus of happy voices.
“And you, my Queen. Will you and The Kev rest while we gather our people?” The Bob inquired.
I looked at The Kev and smiled. He smiled back. His love and trust humbled me. “Nope. We shall be paying a visit to my daddy. It’s time to get a few things straightened out. Susu are you with me?”
“You bet your hot fucking patootie, I am!” Susu squealed and turned cartwheels in the air.
The cheers were loud. It felt fantastic. It felt bizarrely like I had come home. However, there were some very risky things that had to be accomplished before I could bask in any kind of approval. Zanthia was still a hot fucking and very dangerous mess. It was going to take a miracle and then some to get us out of it.
Thank the Heavens, Hell, and everything in between I was very, very, very, motivated.
And I really liked to win.
Chapter Fifteen
The Grand Fun Palace was a clusterhump of overly ornate décor, unconnected stairwells and no freakin’ elevators. If I stayed in the Zanthia Hellhole, I was not living here. It gave me the creeps. Mirrors of all shapes and sizes lined most of the hallways. It was absurd. They were not normal mirrors at all. Some made me look short, some fat, some tall and some simply weird. Michael Jackson’s song The Man in the Mirror came to mind, but this wasn’t what my hero was singing about. Michael wanted everyone to be equal and valuable—these mirrors simply distorted the truth. And none of it made me remember having been here before.
“How do I look?” I whispered to The Kev as we waited on a solid gold bench outside of the main chambers of The Dave.
“Like my Dirty Diana,” he said softly.
I was back in my redheaded manager disguise and The Kev was now unrecognizable as the roadie for the band. The Shelia had called ahead and made it clear that Martha and Jane’s manager—me—was concerned about security for the concert and demanded a face to face with The Dave. The demand was accepted without a hitch. So far so good.
The Kev had changed his appearance dramatically—he was now dark-haired and shorter but still hotter than Hell. My man had traded in his blue eyes for brown and sported a thinner build than usual. His magic was coming back. It was still a little unreliable, but I would cover anything that he couldn’t. He was my world, along with Billie Jean, and nothing was going to happen to him. He’d been through enough already.
“You look pretty doable as a brunette,” I teased.
“Wanna find an alcove for a quickie, Dirty Diana?” The Kev asked with a wink.
“Hellooooo,” Susu whispered from my shoulder with a giggle. “I’m right here, you randy motherhumpers.”
“He was joking,” I told her.
“Actually, I wasn’t,” The Kev said with a grin that made all my lady parts wake up.
“Really?” I asked, looking down the hallway for a hiding place.
“Really,” he said. “Seeing your father with a hard on isn’t going to be one of my finer moments.”
With a laugh, I punched his arm. “I have no intention of letting The Dave know who I am… I think,” I said, being about as indecisive as a person could be. “Guess I’m gonna wing this shit.”
Four enormous guards approached and stopped in front of us. We were examined like science experiments. No one spoke. Not them. Not us. It was a strangely tense standoff. The Kev was excellent at hiding his fury, but I could feel it since my body was so close to his. My mate was a ticking time bomb ready to blow.
All four were definitely Dark. Again, I wished I could read their auras, but that was not going to happen… yet. The staring contest continued. Could they sense our power? Could they sense that The Kev was ready to rip their heads off with his bare hands? Shit.
“State your reason for being here,” the one I assumed was the head guard said in a flat ugly tone.
Time to turn the attention to me—diversionary tactics were necessary. I could always dole out some hair pants, but that was sure to end badly.
“Hi!” I squealed as loud as I could, jumping to my feet. “I’m Dirty Diana. The manager of the superstars, Martha and Jane! Are you guys excited for the concert tomorrow night? It’s gonna to be epic! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!”
Hopping around like an idiot, I even attempted a semi-twerk in honor of Martha and Jane. I was certain it looked more like I had ants in my pants or an unflattering tic, but I was going for it. Thankfully The Kev—aka Ben, in keeping with our Michael Jackson theme—didn’t laugh. And thankfully times ten over my man didn’t try to kill the guards. I was sure he could do it, but it wasn’t in line with the half-assed plan to start with a bloodbath.
Two of the guards couldn’t have looked more uninterested if they’d tried and the other two had a very difficult time tamping back their excitement. I’d bet my immortal life that the bored two were not Fairies at all. What they were was what I needed to find out from The Dave.
Needing to test my theory, I kept going.
“I might just happen to have a few backstage passes with me,” I shrieked so shrilly I wanted to slap my own hands over my ears. “Would anyone like one? Martha and Jane have been known to do a twerk-off after the concert to blow off some artistic steam!”