This Guy Kills Me

by Anlyn Hansell

“I’m not…I don’t… Just stay. Hate me if you want. Just…don’t go.”

  “I’m dead, remember? You said you bought me some time. You’re the one that should be worried, not me. He knows who you are, Joe. Rick asked me specifically if I was hanging out with you. Joe Peters. So if anyone should be worried around here, it’s you. I’m dead. The way I see it, the best thing for me is to get as far away from you as possible.”

  He stood frozen, trying to process that. His mouth opened and closed trying desperately to make sense of what she just said.

  She swung back around, walking briskly toward the door, her fingers fumbling with the deadbolts – all three of them.

  “Jane, I mean it,” he finally found his voice. She wasn’t cooperating. His finger squeezed the trigger as a grimace marred his features. She was going to be so pissed.

  It was for her own good.

  *****

  Damn door.

  Stupid schizo.

  Who needs three deadbolts? Three? What the…ouch! OUCH! Something…sharp and ridiculously hot just hit her in the ass.

  Did he shoot me in the ass?

  Her hand immediately reached behind her; there was…OWWWW…wait, mmmmmmm. Something sticking out like…wwowwwwieeeee.

  Heymanwhassup?

  Her face sort of fell into the door as her body slid down the surface, her cheek making some weird squeaky sound or maybe that was the raccoooooons…the whaaaa….?

  *****

  “I’m sorry.”

  She blinked to clear her vision. It was him. Oh, he’s so…hhhhotttt. Joe was looking down on her, his face a mixture of concern and something else…his brows were kind of scrunched up a little as he touched her face gently. She turned her head to snuggle into his palm. She wanted to touch him. Her hands…they weren’t moving. He…was she tied up? Kinky…bring it on, big boy…she smiled in anticipation. His face changed from scrunched forehead to softened features in an instant.

  “Jane?”

  “Yes, Master…” she murmured lazily.

  He cleared his throat nervously. She blinked again. And then…again. Realization was dawning ever so slowly as the events of the morning slowly came back to her hazy brain.

  “Joe?”

  “Yeah, Baby…” He was still touching her face. She turned it to the side to dislodge his hand.

  “You shot me,” she stated firmly.

  “I’m sorry,” he responded quietly.

  “You shot me in the ass.”

  “I had no choice,” he responded feebly.

  “You shot me like the dog.”

  “You were trying to leave, I was naked. I didn’t want to tackle you. I don’t hit women.”

  “No. You just shoot them. In the ASS,” she hissed.

  “I said I was sorry.”

  “Why am I tied up?” She tested her arms…and…her legs. Geez, he was thorough.

  “I just want to explain some stuff.”

  “Untie me, Joe.”

  “I…can’t. Not until you hear me out.”

  “Listen, you schizophrenic little shit. You untie me NOW. You’re making this much worse on yourself. This is not how normal people act. You need help. Why don’t you go raid the drug store in your bathroom?” she spat out, refusing to look at him.

  “I’m going to write that off as the words of an irrational pissed-off person,” he stated in a calm voice. It was so irritatingly calm; it made her eyes wander toward him. His expression was…nothing really.

  “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “Nice try. Hold it. You’re tricky like that. I love you; I just don’t…trust you. Not right now, at least.”

  He was right. She was lying.

  “Fine. Speak your mind. And then you’re going to untie me, right?”

  “It depends.”

  “On what?”

  “On you.” He was back to touching her face again.

  “Stop that.” She turned her face away from him once again.

  “I can’t help it! Now, look at me. Jane? Look at me.”

  Rolling her eyes, she turned her head back at him and huffed out a breath of displeasure.

  “Ok. Thank you. Ok…here goes…” He took a deep breath and offered the slightest smile. She scowled in response causing his lips to slam back down.

  “Dammit Jane, stop making faces!”

  “I can’t help it! You are the World’s Biggest TOOL and I hate your guts! I’ll make any damn face I want!”

  “Hmmm.”

  He was thinking. His eyes sort of darted around before he quickly removed himself from the bed and disappeared from her view.

  “Joe?!”

  “Just a sec!” he yelled from somewhere in the apartment. He was back in the room a moment later, walking up and pulling something from behind his back. Before she could react, he was placing it over her mouth, her head twisted from side to side as he struggled to tie it.

  “Joe…No..MMMMMMM!”

  “Stop squirming, I don’t want to make it too tight. You just…you’re not gonna shut up and you need to listen. I’m sorry, I know this just makes it worse, but…dammit, honey. I don’t know what else to do.” He continued to struggle as her eyes narrowed to slits and a low growl escaped her throat.

  “No growling, Babe. Just listen.”

  She pushed her chin up and away from the gag. “I’ll shut up!” she gasped out, her chest heaving.

  “Just…don’t put that thing on me. I’ll shut up.” She stated in a calmer voice, her eyes settling on his once again.

  “Promise?”

  Her lips clamped shut and she obediently nodded her head, albeit grudgingly.

  “Fine. Ok.” He adjusted his body next to her on the bed, hands braced on either side of her as if she were going to escape.

  “So before I…took you, I watched you for a while. You were an easy target, easier than anyone else Rick had working for him. You lived alone, you really didn’t interact with people, you were sneaky… then of course, you beat the hell out of your landlord. What the hell was I supposed to think? You just…seemed like a bad seed, you know? I convinced myself for so long that you were a piece of crap, but it was harder and harder to believe, the more I got to know you. And then…I don’t know how it happened. I let you go, because that was the plan. At least at the beginning and then…you were gone, and I tried to convince myself that I didn’t miss you, that I didn’t care about you. But I was wrong Jane. I figured it out the first night I slept with your PJ’s.”

  “Ewww. Say what?” she asked as her face scrunched up in confusion.

  “Shut up, Jane. I know it’s weird, but…I missed you, I finally admitted it to myself and…I knew. I just knew I was in love with you.”

  “You slept with my pajamas?” she asked with a skeptical look on her face.

  “Could you forget about the pajamas? Forget I said that,” he breathed out.

  “I can’t. That’s just weird,” she stated in a bland tone.

  He wiggled the small red piece of fabric in front of her face as a reminder.

  “Go on…” she quickly added before clamping her lips closed.

  “At first, it was definitely your looks. No man in his right mind can look at you and not be attracted to you. It’s a fact. I was fascinated with you. You took my breath away even when I thought you were a scumbag. But…you’re so much more than a gorgeous face and a hot body. You’re smart and you’re funny but your life completely sucks ass and I want to make it better for you.”

  She shot him a frown.

  “It’s not your fault, Babe. I know that now. You’re a good person, you just need to control your…umm…ability. That’s all. You have so much to offer. I have to be with you. You have to stay with me. We belong together. Last night…I don’t know about you, but that was by far the best night of my life. I mean, the sex was fantastic, but when you’re with someone that you love more than your own life? It’s completely on a whole other level. I can’t describe it. I woke up this morning an
d I was the happiest man on the face of the planet. Because of you. Because I love you Jane, and no matter how many dirty looks you give me or nasty names you call me, it doesn’t matter. I’m still going to love you. I’m going to wear you down eventually. You know that, don’t you?

  Her answer was silence.

  “No one holds a grudge like you do. That’s Ok.”

  “I don’t hold grudges,” she stated confidently.

  “The hell you don’t. If it was a sport, you’d be a Professional, or like a Gold Medalist or something.” He was smirking at her. Jerk. “Case in point…your parents,” he added.

  “You want me to like you again?” she asked flatly.

  “Huh?”

  “I asked if you want me to like you again.”

  “Sure.”

  “Do NOT mention my parents.”

  “See? Grudge.”

  “Fuck off.”

  He pushed up from the bed, ‘tsking’ on his way out of the bedroom.

  “Wait! Where are you going?” she yelled after he disappeared beyond the doorway.

  “I’m gonna make you some breakfast!” he called back from the hallway.

  “I don’t WANT any breakfast. I WANT to be untied!”

  “How does it feel to WANT? I WANT you to forgive me. If I have to wait, so do you!” she heard clearly from beyond the bedroom door.

  “I hate you!”

  “Get over it…” he trailed off with a jovial ring to his voice.

  *****

  “Ta da!” See? Pancakes!” He waved the plate under her nose.

  Her response was a squinty-eyed stare.

  “You love pancakes.” He was seating himself next to her.

  “I know what you can do with your pancakes. It has something to do with your ass,” she grated out right before her stomach decided to growl.

  Damn stomach. They did look good though…

  “Jane, be nice. I have the upper hand, here.”

  “How am I supposed to eat? I listened to you, you still haven’t untied me, you’re not holding up your end of the bargain,” she sulked.

  “That’s because I’m ninety-nine percent sure you’re going to punch me in the nuts as soon as you’re free. Now, here, open up.” He was holding a piece of pancake on a fork. It smelled divine, syrup had saturated the little piece of doughy deliciousness and a small drip fell back to the plate.

  She opened her mouth and he placed the fork in gently.

  Chewing, her eyes wandered to his. He was staring at her intently and it was slightly unnerving.

  “Good?”

  She gave a non-committal shrug.

  “I need to go visit my Mom. I don’t want to leave you, but I don’t have a whole lot of choices, here, open.” He placed another forkful of pancake in front of her lips.

  “Wait. What? You’re just going to…leave? But…are you going to keep me tied up?”

  “Yes. But,” he interrupted her before she could speak, “I’ll let you use the bathroom, maybe take a shower?”

  A shower sounded absolutely heavenly at that point. Anything to wash the scent of him from her body…

  *****

  “What are you doing? Get out!”

  “Get in the shower.”

  “I’m not getting undressed on front of you.”

  “Please Jane; it’s a little too late for modesty between us, especially after last night.”

  Her fingers itched to scrape the grin from his face. With her nails.

  “Come on, time’s a wastin’, Babe.”

  “Turn around.”

  “Oh, hell no. If you don’t strip within the next ten seconds and get your sweet ass in that shower? I will turn the water off and you can wallow in your own stink.”

  She stood in the middle of the bathroom, her eyes darting from the shower and back to him.

  “Ten.”

  “You’re stupid.”

  “Nine.”

  “Fucking asshat.”

  “Eight.”

  “This is not endearing me to you, you know that?”

  “Seven.”

  “Dammit Joe!”

  “Six.”

  “Grrrr.”

  “Stop that. Five”

  Foot stomp, evil glare.

  “Four.”

  “Joe, come on. It’s just…weird!” Was that her voice whining? Sheesh…

  “Thaaareeeeee,” he trilled out.

  “Stupid Jackass.”

  “Ahhhhtwoooooooo.”

  “Argh! Ah…fuckinshitheadmother…mmmmm.”

  “One. Ok, so sorry,” he stated lightly as he popped off from his perch on the counter. He took a step toward the shower before she quickly jumped in, shirt and all. The curtain whipped closed. His smile widened as a snort of laughter erupted from his throat.

  Right before the sopping wet shirt hit him square in the face.

  *****

  Her eyes watched the TV later after he left her tied to his bed. Her mind still seething…

  New plan. He wanted her forgiveness? He had it. Oh yes. As soon as he got back, she would be the soul of sweetness – but not too sweet. He would see through that.

  Operation ‘Untie Me You Pompous Pigface’ was a go…

  *****

  He was drenched. Not caught in a rainstorm drenched, more like ‘ran twenty miles’ drenched. He also looked…worn, maybe a little sad although his eyes lit up ever so slightly as soon as he saw her.

  “Hey,” he stated quietly, stopping a few feet from the bed.

  “Hey,” she returned, schooling her voice into something that didn’t resemble a snotty response. “Did you go for a run?” That was good, showed interest, sounded kind of nice.

  “Yeah,” his response was soft, somewhat distracted. He took another step before seating himself next to her.

  “Everything Ok?” she asked tentatively.

  “Her coloring was…bad. They made me leave early,” he responded before lifting his hand to tuck a stray tendril of hair behind her ear. A tingle erupted exactly where his fingers lightly brushed her skin. Stupid skin.

  “I…ah…did some thinking while you were gone.”

  “Yeah? Good thinking or bad thinking?” he asked, his expression changing from forlorn to skeptical.

  “Good thinking?”

  “Really? That’s interesting. And what good thoughts were you having?” A small smile played on his lips.

  “Well, I thought about what you said, you know about saving me instead of going after Rick and I thought…maybe you’re not full of shit. Maybe you do mean…what you said,” she stated in a soft tone.

  “All of that was true. I’ve never poured my heart out to someone like that and I meant every word. You’re everything to me, Sweetheart. I want you to believe that,” he added as his eyes intensified on hers.

  “I…just give me a little time. I’m not a big fan of being used,” she replied. His hands grasped hers, his thumbs rubbing over her knuckles slowly, lightly.

  “I can do that. I’m going to untie you. Can you behave?”

  A small nod was her answer.

  “Promise?”

  “Cross my heart…” Hope to die, stick a needle in your stupid eye…

  He sat up abruptly and left her alone for less than a minute before returning with a set of kitchen scissors.

  She watched as he cut the fabric, his eyes watching her face rather than what he was cutting. His body language screamed total distrust. You should be distrustful, buddy. You should be…

  Hands first, then ankles.

  “Thank you,” she stated demurely as he placed the scissors on the nightstand. It was all she could do to focus on him and not on the potential weapon situated next to her.

  “Jane…” His hand was palming her cheek and she kept still, her eyes softening, then widening a bit when it appeared he was going to…was he leaning in to kiss her?

  Just do it. It’s not like you didn’t basically do everything last night anyway. It doesn’t mean any
thing. Get him to trust you…

  His lips were feather soft on hers. His eyes were open and connected with hers the entire time.

  Her lips moved on their own; responding to his mouth, completely at odds with her brain. Stupid lips.

  Stupid crotch. Heat just sort of pooled there as her stomach flipped, her pulse jumped and her heartbeat speed up.

  What was that? Did I just moan?

  That’s not part of the plan.

  He didn’t even attempt to introduce his tongue to hers, but evidently he didn’t need to. He was pulling away slowly, his hand still holding her face, his thumb sweeping over her lips lightly.

  “I love you,” he stated seriously.

  “Ok,” she squeaked out automatically, causing a small laugh from him.

  “Someday you’ll say that back.”

  “Mmmm, yeah, Ok. Ah…how about I make us some dinner?”

  “You don’t cook, Babe.”

  “Sure I do. You just always did it, but I can…” She walked past him casually, headed for the hallway at a leisurely pace.

  “What’s your specialty?”

  “Rice Krispie treats,” she stated over her shoulder.

  “Jane -”

  Lecture time…

  “Kidding! I’m kidding. Chill out. Let’s see what you have, right? Might as well make the best of this…forced captivity,” she added under her breath.

  “I heard that.”

  *****

  “I’m not going to stab you.”

  “Yeah, well…one can never be too careful.” He set the knife set down on the island, walked over and trapped her between his body and the kitchen counter with his hands.

  “I’m locking one of the deadbolts from the inside too, just in case you had plans. I don’t want you to waste your time,” he whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek and pushing away.

  Damn smirking jerk. Just wait…

  Wait for what? What’s the plan? She thought as she watched him walk out of the kitchen with the block of knives.

  She poked her head from the kitchen and sure enough, he was pulling a set of keys from his pocket and actually locking one of the deadbolts. She pulled her head back as soon as he turned. He didn’t take the frying pans. She could hide behind the counter, jump up, smash one over his head in a surprise attack. Of course, if that didn’t work, she’d be tied up again for sure.

  Smart. Be smart. Let’s see…

  In the background, she could hear a thump, a door closing and then the distinct tinkling of keys causing her to poke her head around the corner again. He was shirtless, his pants riding low on his hips as he walked down the hall toward his room and disappeared around the corner. More thumping, drawers opening and shutting and back out to the hallway. She pulled back just as he came into view. It was such a nice view. Stupid hormones.