Hidden Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  “What is it about you that makes me want to fall to my fuckin’ knees and hand you the world? I don’t deserve you, but I will do whatever it takes to make you happy, and if that means fucking you until your heart’s content, then your wish is my command.”

  “You have such sweet pillow talk,” I tease as he positions himself and slowly slides inside me. His eyes squeeze shut as he pushes all the way inside.

  “Shit, you’re so tight around me.” His eyes reopen to take in my reaction.

  I’m not going to lie; it hurt a little at first, as it’s been nearly three years since the last time I had sex, but never have I felt anything as incredible as this.

  Josh starts rocking himself inside me, and I’m instantly transported to another world. My core tightens at the reignited sensations that only sex brings to your body.

  “Josh,” I say breathlessly. He leans over me as he continues to push deeper. Grabbing my leg, he wraps it around his hip as I run my fingernails down his sculpted abs and back up around to his back.

  A deep moan sounds from his throat. “Sam, you’re driving me crazy with those wandering hands.”

  The more he drives his dick into me, the greater the sensation encompasses my body. I can hardly control my own moans. My body so desperately needs to release the orgasm that’s been held in for so long.

  Josh’s lips find mine as he pushes his tongue into my mouth. Our muffled sighs of pleasure unite as our bodies are connected in all the places they can possibly be joined. He pulls back, stilling his movements in the process.

  “What’s the matter?” I ask, wondering if there is an issue.

  “It’s nothing, but if you squeeze my dick one more time, I won’t last much longer.”

  “Oh, you mean like this?” I clench my core around him.

  “Do that again, and you’ll regret what I do to you with my dick.”

  I eye him curiously and clench again before laughing at the absurdity of this sexual encounter. Josh’s cock pulses inside me even more than before as he rests his head on mine and lets out a painful sounding moan.

  “Sam, I’m not lasting much longer. I thought clenching around me was enough to drive me insane. You laughing just sent my entire body into overdrive. I need to know you’re with me if I go hard and fast.”

  “Make me come, Josh. I need to feel your cock throbbing inside me when you come.”

  He picks up his pace, and his breathing quickens. With every hardened thrust, he hits a spot inside me that causes my core to ache. My hands grasp the bedding at my side as I feel a surge of tingles throughout my body.

  “I’m close,” he says, keeping his pace.

  I look up at his sweat glistened face as the words seep from my lips. “Make me come. I’m close, too.”

  His hips instantly begin slamming into me as he hits the spot he’s been aiming for this entire time. My back arches as my head drops backward, and Josh’s thrusts still completely. I feel his dick pulse inside me as my own orgasm envelopes my body. My core throbs around him as our groans and cries merge together in unison until we’re both out of breath and collapsing in each other’s arms.

  Josh places soft kisses along my neck before looking at me. “Sam, that was...that was…”

  “That was so much better than candy,” I finish for him, trying to lighten the post-sex awkward talk.

  “Ah ha! I knew it! You lied about the cake,” he retorts.

  “Of course, I did. It’s not all about the sweets with me, you know,” I say, playfully slapping his arm.

  As he’s about to pull away and out of me, my bedroom door opens quickly and both of our heads fly in that direction. Damn it. I forgot to lock that thing.

  Lucy walks in while looking down at her cell phone. “Hey, Sam, let’s get a move on it. We’ve got practice and the photoshoot in an hour,” she says as I try to maneuver to grab any clothing possibly able to cover my naked form before she looks up.

  Too late. The minute she turns off her phone she’s halfway inside my room, and her eyes fixate on the mess of naked bodies in front of her.

  “Oh my God! My eyes! My eyes!” Lucy shouts before running for the door and slamming it shut behind her.

  I look up at Josh who’s now laughing silently. “Oh, you think this is funny, do you?”

  Before he has a chance to respond, a knock sounds on the door. Not again. The door opens slightly as Lucy’s voice sounds from the other side. “Hey, Sam?”

  “Yeah, Luce?”

  “It’s about freakin’ time you banged that hot piece of cop ass, but can you get ready so we can go to derby practice? I’ve got to do the girls’ hair and makeup for the poster pics.”

  “Give me fifteen minutes, and I’ll meet you downstairs,” I tell her before the door shuts.

  Josh remains inside me, still laughing. “What are you laughing at?” I ask him.

  “Oh, just that all your roommates seem to love me.”

  “Don’t let it go to your head.”

  “Too late, sugar. Plus, there’s only one girl in this house I want,” he says huskily.

  “Well, I’m seriously hoping you mean me, ‘cuz it would really be awkward if you wanted Kim.”

  “Hey, I’ve been known to turn girls.”

  “Why does that not surprise me?”

  I finally make my way back to the townhouse. Nick will be at work for a while longer, so I have the place to myself. Sam will be doing derby related stuff for the rest of the day and working at the bar all weekend, so I won’t be able to spend another night like last night with her for some time.

  Once we finally pried ourselves from her sheets, I didn’t want to let her go. I honestly could have stayed wrapped up in her body forever. Her soft giggles and playful banter keep me mesmerized whenever I am with her. Despite her troubled past and the constant reminder of what her ex-boyfriend nearly did to her, she has allowed me inside her walls.

  Me.

  Why she suddenly decided I would be the one to bridge that gap, I have no idea. Am I glad she chose me? Fuck, yeah. I’ve spent way too long focused on the past. I need to finally see my future, and I want Sam in it.

  The first step in making sure my past stays in the past is to be completely honest with Sam about the girls I used for years in order to forget about the love I pushed away. I really have no idea how she will handle the news, but as much as I know I should have told her before we had sex earlier, I couldn’t.

  I only know I need to do what’s right for once. In just two short months since I ran into Sam, she’s made me change. That just doesn’t happen. Ever. I’ve never settled on one girl, not since Sue.

  As I head down the stairs toward the kitchen, I continue to think of all the things I need to do in order to start moving in the right direction. Grabbing a cold beer from the fridge and some leftover pasta from the other night, I sit at the kitchen table and turn on my phone for the first time since this morning.

  After a few bites of pasta, my phone starts buzzing furiously, alerting me of a number of incoming messages. Thankfully, I know I haven’t missed any calls for work order-ins since I keep that phone in my coat, and no matter what, it is always on.

  I listen to a number of voicemails from Mom about Jeremy coming home today and how it would be nice if I come over to see him. I laugh at the thought. Yeah, okay, Mom. Jeremy hasn’t been home in two months, and you think I’m the one he wants to see. He’ll be pissed to no end if the family impedes on his alone time with Emily. I’ll be keeping my distance until I know he’s had his fill of that girl. Of course, that may never happen.

  A couple of texts from Courtney tells me the same thing. Another one from her asks about Sunday dinner. Evidently, Sue will be there with Dave, and it will be nice to have everyone at the table for once. I’ll consider it. I know I need to talk to Sue in order to make things right after all these years. I just don’t exactly know the right words to say. “I’m sorry” doesn’t seem to cut it.

  I send a quick text to Jeremy, te
lling him I won’t be over today, but good luck with the family taking over his time with Emily. I mention that I’ll catch up with him sometime this weekend when I’m not working or he isn’t practicing with the hockey team.

  Just as I hit Send, another text comes in. I have to do a double take at the name. Tarryn.

  What do you mean we’re done? You know you can’t live without me. Come over and I’ll show you.

  Seriously, this chick spreads her legs for anyone. It’s not as though she has any claim to me. If I tell her not to contact me, then we’re done with the arrangement. That’s it. End of story. I respond one last time, hoping she gets the idea through her thick redheaded ass.

  We’re done means just as it says. Don’t text me. I won’t be over again.

  That just about sums it up. I can’t make it any clearer for her than if I said it to her face.

  A couple of minutes later, I’m finishing up and placing my dirty dish into the dishwasher when Nick comes through the front door. He catches sight of me as I move around in the kitchen before he drops his workbag near the living room.

  “Dude! Where the hell were you last night? I saw the mess of towels and clothing lying around upstairs and didn’t know what happened,” Nick rambles as he makes his way into the kitchen. I grab another couple of beers from the fridge, handing him one as I go to sit at the table again. After rubbing my fingers over the back of my neck, I use the bottle opener to pop the cap off my beer. I take a long pull and glance up at Nick as I toss him the bottle opener for his own beer.

  Nick leans against the counter as he tosses the bottle cap into the trash, quietly waiting for me to give him any bit of information that might help him with his curiosity. I can’t tell him the whole story about Sam’s past, but I can certainly give him details regarding the before and after. If I don’t, I know he’ll pry, and the last thing I need right now is to be grilled with questions by another cop.

  I head into the living room, where it is more comfortable, as Nick follows behind me. Plopping myself onto the cushioned sofa, I rest my bare feet upon the coffee table to relax. Nick sits opposite me while turning on the professional hockey game on television, keeping it muted so we can talk.

  “So, I’m dying to know how your night went yesterday. Spill the beans, asshole. Which one did you bang? The redheaded bitch or that hot piece of ass you’re all gaga over these days?”

  Shit. There’s no denying this one. Lying isn’t an option; he’ll see right through me. I chug the beer that’s still half full and place it onto the table before I say the words that make me nauseous just thinking of what I did. “Both,” I utter softly. “Before you go to ask your next question, no, I’m not seeing the redhead ever again, and I need you to do a little investigative work for me.”

  “Okay, I’m listening. What kind of investigative work?”

  “Are you working tomorrow?” I ask.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “I may need you to check if a restraining order is still open.”

  “What the fu—”

  “No! Don’t. I just need you to do it and not ask any questions.”

  “Who’s it filed under?” Nick asks suspiciously.

  “Samantha Daley.”

  “Will you stop it with the makeover, Lucy?” I scold as she continues to primp, tease, and apply shimmer. She has my hair curled and teased in some crazy ass updo with too much hairspray and pins, and I am afraid to move my face, for fear the glitter around my eyes will blind me. “Seriously, this is way too much for the photo shoot. It’s just the derby poster. It’s not like anyone important is going to see it,” I say as I suck back my water through a straw because I’m scared to mess up my lipstick.

  “Sam, how can you say that? You have been chosen as the face of the C-Naughties this year. You will be all over the place, and with this look…well…this look is much better than what I witnessed this morning,” Lucy divulges.

  Coach Dee walks over with the rest of team as Lucy finishes her statement. “What did you witness this morning?” she probes Lucy after hearing her last comment.

  Lucy continues with her finishing touches on my makeup as she laughs. I give her a scouring look, silently telling her not to say a word, but she, being the open book she is, doesn’t grasp my silent plea. Lucy turns to Dee and says, “You know, a little of this and a little of that. Oh, and I might have walked in on Sam having sex with her hottie boy toy, too.”

  A series of squeals and gasps sound from around me. Before I have a chance to chastise Lucy for making my life an open book, I’m surrounded by the team who stares me down while waiting for answers.

  “Really, guys, it’s nothing. Let’s just get to the photo shoot and then practice for the opening day bout,” I suggest, trying to avoid having this conversation with the entire room. Sex is something private for me. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m not one to sit and discuss the circumstances behind my sexual exploration this morning either.

  What happened between Josh and me was special and private. I’m not ready to share him yet. I just got him, and although there is so much unknown between us, I’m willing to work toward opening up myself to him. He pushes something inside me to fight through the barriers I have kept up for far too long. He warms my soul and makes me smile like I haven’t done in a long time.

  Lucy’s voice breaks my thoughts of Josh’s hardened body covering mine this morning. I fan my face with the team’s playbook I’ve been studying while she’s been working her magic on my hair. “Are you mad I blabbed the news, Sam?” Lucy mutters.

  Pushing Lucy’s long blonde curls away from her face as she stands in front of me, I answer, “You know I love you, Juicy Lucy. And, how many times have I outed you about your sexcapades on Derby Date Night? Just ‘cuz I don’t kiss and tell doesn’t mean I’m mad at you for saying something.”

  A sweet smile breaks across her face as she goes to grab her roller skates from her bag. Looking back at me, she says, “Well, you look gorgeous. If your face doesn’t bring in the hot guys to our events this year, then I can just assume I’ll be hitting on the chicks this season.”

  “Lucy!” I wail at the thought. “You wouldn’t. Would you? Have you?” Curiosity is getting the better of me as I scan the derby practice center making sure the rest of the girls are out of earshot. Too many of the girls in derby bat for the other team, Kim being one of them. We don’t judge, but Lucy has always been a fan of the male specimen. After this morning, I can’t say I blame her.

  “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell, Sam,” Lucy professes with a straight, unknowing face. She winks as she finishes tying up the laces on her skates. “C’mon, Sweet Cheeks. It’s time for you to shine.” I guess that means she’s tested those waters at some point. Shaking my head, I stand from the chair I’ve been in for a half hour. My skates already fastened and ready to go, I roll over to the team and prepare for the onslaught of questions I’m sure will come sooner or later about the new guy in my life.

  Practice is going well. Well, it is going well for the others. I thought once I recovered from the shoulder injury that wearing the support strap would allow me to fully participate just as I used to. Little did I know, derby practice, spin class, kickboxing, and sex all in one day, do not make for a happy vagina. Who knew?!

  I’ve been sitting out for the last half hour of practice watching as everyone works on the new plays for the season. I watch and learn while chewing away on my mouth guard and spinning my helmet on the floor. Dee whistles away as the C-Naughties practice against the Mass-holes, and Lucy fills in as jammer while my vagina gets a rest.

  Getting antsy sitting on the bench, I roll over to Dee to observe the bout better. The whistle dangles from her lips before she blows it for the end of the jam after Lucy pushes past Dirty Gerty, the jammer for the Mass-holes, to win the session for the C-Naughties. Everyone is cheering at the end of the track, but Dee eyes me and rolls over.

  “Did you really finally find that someone s
pecial?” she questions as she starts removing her gear. Watching her toss everything into her bag, I contemplate my answer. Was Josh that someone special?

  “I guess I did,” I say, curious as to how deep my feelings are for him. I suppose I’m getting in deeper by the minute. First, I become a crying mess, and he sticks around. Then, I tell him the truth about my past, and he’s still with me. And then, he admits that he hasn’t dated anyone since high school until me.

  Yeah, I’m in deep. I just hope he doesn’t break my heart too badly.

  Sunday rolls around in no time. I promised Sam I’d help her at Vines, so I’m walking down the street toward downtown. She wants to move around the furniture to help create more space for her increasing number of customers. Once she decided to have open mic night and add a variety of beers to the drink menu, her clientele nearly doubled.

  It’s still early, so the bar isn’t open to the public yet. When I’m out front, I knock on the glass door to get Sam’s attention inside. Her smile broadens as she nears me, and my body reacts to the anticipation of touching her again. I’ve had to work the past couple of days, so I haven’t seen her since the other morning. Talking on the phone is nothing compared to seeing her smile and hearing her laugh inches from me.

  Sam unlocks the door and pulls it open. I walk in before she turns and locks it behind me. She moves past me, swaying her hips toward the back of the room without giving me any attention. What the fuck? Her fingers snapping break me from my wandering thoughts of thinking the past few days with her were all a dream when she orders, “Okay, hop to it, Page. I don’t have all day while you stand over there dilly dallying and watching my ass.” Her face doesn’t hide her playful humor behind her demands.

  I cross the room quickly until I’m next to her. “Face it, sugar. You just want to look at my perfect ass bending over for the next hour.” I remove my coat and toss it onto the bar top, rolling up my sleeves to my elbows while eyeing Sam as she watches me ready myself for some manual labor. “All right, let’s do this,” I say as I grab my phone and turn on the music. Before I hit Play, I catch her out of the corner of my eye watching me. I tilt my head in her direction, giving her a devilish smile. “See something you want?” I tease as I turn to her, wrapping my arm around her waist to pull her close.